<h4>Chapter 185</h4>


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    Chapter 185


    Leaving Thais Yulman''s heated gaze behind, Yuder stepped timidly inside. As soon as the door closed, he turned to question Nathan Zuckerman.


    "How did you know I hade?"


    "The Duke sent word."


    "…And how did the Commander know I wasing…"


    "From time to time, he discerns the movements of those far away from his ce."


    ‘So, did Kishiar sense my arrival from inside?’ After a moment''s hesitation, Yuder opened his mouth.


    "If he is awake, why did you not allow Yulman to enter?"


    At his words, Nathan, who was walking ahead, halted and looked back.


    "It was a matter of trust. In fact, I thought it was not yet time for Sir Yulman to enter."


    A low voiceden with a subtle undercurrent of meaning. Yuder silently surveyed Nathan Zuckerman''s face.


    "Is the Commander... perhaps ill?"


    Nathan did not immediately respond to his question. Yuder watched as the man facing him turned without confirmation or denial and continued walking forward, then quickly followed.


    The interior of the Commander''s office was much quieter than usual. The furnace, unlit, had lost its glow, and therge, usually sunlit window was veiled by dark curtains. As they passed the desk where Kishiar usually worked and entered the inner corridor, private areas essible to the Commander were revealed. Nathan Zuckerman approached the furthest room, a bedroom, and knocked respectfully.


    "Go in."


    "Are you noting in, Sir Zuckerman?"


    "The Commander ordered that when Sir Aile arrives, he should enter alone."


    Leaving these words behind, Nathan turned and disappeared in the opposite direction. Yuder, looking down at the closed door handle, slowly reached out and pulled it open. The door swung open silently, revealing the familiar room.


    The dome-shaped ceiling soaring high above. A small ss skylight at its apex. The colorful mes flickering in the marble firece, identical to the one in the Commander''s office. And arge bed made of white wood, befitting the dignity and nobility of the owner.


    Everything was identical to a dream he had had the day he had awoken from the manifestation at the Imperial Pce, causing a strange sense of déjà vu.


    "You''re here, so why are you silent?"


    While he was nkly observing the room, anguid voice came from the bed. Only then did Yudere to his senses, as if waking from a dream, and bowed his head.


    "It''s Yuder Aile. I didn''t intend to disturb your rest, but since you knew I was here and called for me... I apologize."


    "That''s fine. I told Nathan to have youe in. There''s no need to apologize. But... I can''t see you from here. Will youe closer?"


    Even though he usually spoke slowly, his voice now was slower, much lower and deeper than usual.


    ''Could he really be ill?''


    As Yuder cautiously moved closer to the bed, a faint scent wafted in the air. A small candlestick beside the bed was lit, giving off a gentle light.


    Following that light, Kishiar''s face finally emerged from behind the curtain. Instead of his usual robe, he was loosely draped in a nightgown, half-reclined on the bed, with an opened book lying upside down on hisp.


    Kishiar''s normally neat, golden hair was disheveled, sticking to his forehead in an unfamiliar way. Unable to look away, Kishiar let a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. His face was marked with clear signs of fatigue, but his smile managed to lighten the atmosphere as if the exhaustion had momentarily dissipated.


    "Even though your expression doesn''t change, I can tell you''re surprised. It seems I''ve be quite adept at reading your face."


    "Are you unwell?"


    "Hmm… You know about the unpleasant event that took ce yesterday, don''t you? Ah, there''s a chair nearby, why don''t you sit?"


    Kishiar gestured towards the chair after closing his book and setting it aside. Only after Yuder had taken a seat did Kishiar exhale deeply, resuming the conversation at a rxed pace.


    "Magic is more taxing than swordsmanship or divine power. The stronger the force, therger the ripple it creates when it moves. I would have preferred not to use it directly, but given the circumstances…"


    "So, you''re saying your current state is due to the strain from controlling the magic circle yesterday?"


    "You could say that."


    Under the flickering candlelight, Kishiar''s face glowed pale, devoid of any color. Seeing his lips look noticeably drier and paler than usual, a sudden unease arose.


    Yuder had seen Kishiar like this in his previous life. More times than he could count.


    "I thought you might have noticed from before, but I can''t use my power recklessly. I can''t freely utilize what I possess like others. I can''t, and I shouldn''t. If I vite this, as you can see, this happens. But today is a bit better. A day''s rest should see me improved."


    Yuder had guessed there must be some reason Kishiar had hidden his powers and used them sparingly. However, in Kishiar''s words, he sensed apulsory cause beyond simply not wanting to expose his powers to others.


    "I can''t let Thais Yulman see me like this. Maybe if he were trustworthy, but as long as he''s part of the Pearl Tower, it''s not possible. It''s fortunate you came at an appropriate time."


    ‘So, does that mean you trust me enough to show me this side of you?’ Yuder wanted to ask, but swallowed the words at thest moment. It was only now that he understood what Nathan Zuckerman had said before he entered.


    Concerns about Duke Peletta''s health were something he could not reveal, especially when he already had many enemies. After opening and closing his mouth a few times, Yuder finally managed to force out a question.


    "May I ask how long this has been going on?"


    Since when had using his power been so strenuous? When had this condition started?


    "Well… It''s been quite a while. Not since birth, though."


    "I see. Is it an incurable symptom? What exactly triggers these symptoms when you use your power? Is it part of a curse? Or perhaps…"


    "Haha. Don''t be too serious. I know the cause. As for the cure… I''m not sure yet. But it''s not something you should worry about."


    If this wasn''t serious enough to worry about, then what was? Yuder wanted to say more, but Kishiar spoke first, leaving him unable to continue.


    "Yuder, have you ever heard that each person''s body has a predetermined capacity for holding energy?"


    "...I''ve heard that the amount of magic power a mage can absorb without burdening the heart varies innately."


    This was, of course, a story from his previous life. Drawing from that tale, Yuder had discovered the presence of a mana hole within the body of an Awakener, which could absorb, store, and release energy. Kishiar nodded and continued.


    "It''s a simr concept. Among those who wield power, this belief exists universally. No matter how much a person trains, the amount of energy the body can amodate is believed to have a limit. But what if the vessel bes overly filled with energy, to the point where it creates turbulence within?"


    "...It would exert pressure."


    "Yes. And in unfortunate cases, it can even shatter. A knight who has suffered this would no longer be able to use his swordsmanship, and a mage, his magic. They would remain alive but their life force would cease to umte and gradually leak out. Eventually, when all is drained, deathes. A most painful process indeed."


    "...Are such cases,mon?"


    "Notmon. It happens very rarely among seasoned swordmasters or senior mages who have be too old and frail to withstand the power they''ve umted over the years."


    "..."


    The reason for his speech was clear, even without asking. Yuder hesitated, then cautiously ventured another question.


    "Commander, you''re not implying that... your current condition is... like that, are you?"


    "Of course not."


    Kishiar''s response was swift and resolute.


    "Not at the moment. Although, there were times in the past when I thought it could happen."


    When he thought his vessel might break and lead to death. When could that have been? As Yuder looked at him with hesitation, a gleam of amusement flickered in Kishiar''s eyes.


    "That was two years ago. Before the Red Stone fell. Haven''t I told you before?"


    "If it was two years ago..."


    "When I awakened and manifested, I experienced such intense pain that I expelled everyone, and stayed alone in Peletta Castle, ready to die."


    The words he had spoken then briefly shed across Yuder''s mind before dissipating.


    "Well, since that day, my vessel has be quite robust, so there hasn''t been a need to contemte death. However, I still can''t move a great deal of power at once. A vessel that nearly broke needs to be used sparingly, don''t you think?"


    "That''s... a relief..."


    As he nkly responded, a thunderbolt of realization struck him. Memories and dreams from a long time ago fluttered through his mind.


    Kishiar, gradually weakening as his resignation as the Commander loomed closer. The glove he never took off. The faint whisper in a dream, hoping that his vessel didn''t shatter due to the injury incurred while recovering the Red Stone.


    The vessel. Yes. He had also referred to it as a vessel back then... He had never understood that term and yet, surprisingly, he heard it again here. A chill ran down his spine.


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