Hollywood What If Chapter 59
The day arrived and Mike Tyson showed up with his entourage. They were a bunch of menacing looking guys. Tall, with guns, and their way of talking was unique.
"Mr. Tyson. Nice to meet you."
Kazir was the first to greet the legendary boxer. Mike Tyson looked at him with a smile and nodded.
"Nice to meet you too, director."
''... If I''m going to be honest, he spoke the "it''s" "it''th."''
That was Kazir''s first impression of him. Of course, he would never talk to Mike Tyson about his mispronunciation. He didn''t want to get punched.
"Mr. Tyson, do you want to do the tiger scene first or your scene first?"
"Let''s do the tiger scene. I want to know my pet''s acting skills."
"All right."
Since Mike Tyson was the owner of the tiger they hired, they have to respect his opinion.
"Crew, prepare the scene with the tiger. Jane, make the actors look like they are waking up from a hangover."
Jane became the head of the makeup team. Of course, her salary went up, too. Everyone''s salary on the crew was under the budget of The Hangover.
In fact, the salary of the entire crew was minuscule compared to the other expenses. Not even 10% of the budget.
In a way, the biggest enemies of movie companies are the huge salaries of the cast. Especially when they hire superstars to star in the movie. Well, money is not a problem as long as the videotape market is doing well.
''Speaking of videotapes... Where did I put that videotape? Nah, it''s useless anyway.''
He received a package last year related to his divorce case, but it was too late to use it.
"Put the camera over there."
"Aight."
Kazir watched the preparations. Harold, the head of the props team, making sure the whole suite looked like a mess. As if there had been a huge alcohol overdose in the place.
As for Renner, he was adjusting camera angles and lighting. Helping him was Fremont.
Kazir nodded as he watched the preparations.
''The real heroes behind your favorite movies are the crew members. They spent their time creating the best scenes and the best look for the audience.''
That''s why everyone on the crew would have their names in the credits. Everyone appreciates their hard work.
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When a movie was successful and made a lot of money at the box office, the crew members would receive bonuses. They would also have a celebration party.
"Is everything ready?"
Kazir raised his voice and looked around. Everyone signaled that they were ready.
Even the actors were "groggy" on the floor.
Kazir nodded to Fremont.
"Lights, Camera, Action!"
-----
After Jade (Reese Witherspoon) left their hotel suite, the three protagonists were drunk and ''dead'' on the floor.
Alan (Jack Black) weakly got up to go to the bathroom. He walked and dodged the ducks. The ducks flew around and nearly tripped him.
He reached the bathroom and started to pee.
While peeing, Alan heard a tiger growling behind him. He thoughtlessly turned around and found a tiger growling at him.
He didn''t think much and continued peeing. But a few seconds later, Alam panicked!
He ran away and kicked Phil''s balls!
"Augh!"
"Gah!"
They roll to the floor. With Phil (Bradley Cooper) in pain and Alan in fear.
"God damn! You put some pants on!"
"Don''t go to the bathroom!"
Alan shouted.
"Alan, just calm down."
"Phil, there''s a tiger in the bathroom!"
"What''s going on?"
Stu (Ed Helms) looked at them in confusion. He had a hangover.
Everyone had a heavy hangover.
"There''s a jungle cat in the bathroom!"
"Okay, okay, okay," Phil stood up. "I''ll check it out."
He opened the door and the tiger roared at him. Phil immediately shut the door.
"Woah! Fuck! He''s not kidding, there''s a tiger in there."
"No, there isn''t," Stu replied weakly.
------
"Cut! This is good. Ready for the next scene!"
After three takes, Kazir was satisfied with their performance.
The next scene was about Alan (Jack Black) getting punched by the champion.
"He''s not really going to punch me, is he?"
Jack Black nervously approached Kazir.
"Don''t worry... You''ll have to stay in the hospital after this."
"You got to be kidding me!"
"No, I''m just kidding," Kazir shrugged.
"Of course he won''t hit you. We still need you to shoot a lot of scenes. Remember, we need more than a month to shoot all the scenes.
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing. Anyway, just hang in there."
"What? Director? Director! Don''t let me down! Director!"
Kazir checked the shots to make sure he hadn''t forgotten anything. The shots looked promising and went well.
''There''s a movie that starred Jack Black, it''s called Nacho Libre. It was said that Jack Black almost lost his eye because of a stunt...''
Some people said it was a publicity stunt to draw in the audience, and some people said it was real.
''Well, Jack Black said it was real, so maybe it is.''
As a director, Kazir knew whether this information was real or not.
''One thing is for sure. A sane director will never have an actor do a dangerous stunt. Everything will be done by a body double. Even the insurance company will never agree to such a decision.''
If an actor was really injured, the insurance company would have to pay so much money.
Just like now...
"Um, Director Grey. I just heard that Jack Black is going to get punched by Mike Tyson. I think he needs a body double for that."
"..."
Kazir looked at the Merrill Lynch representative.
"I mean, we all know that Mike Tyson is a strong boxer. If an accident happens and Jack Black is injured, the shoot will be postponed and we will waste money and time."
"Saul, don''t worry. I will never let that happen. But I will not use a body double either. I just have to trust Mike Tyson."
"But are you really sure?"
"Saul. I think Mike Tyson will never hit Jack Black."
He looked at him seriously. Kazir wanted to see as much real emotion as possible, so it was better to use Jack Black for the scene.
Besides, Kazir didn''t like it when someone tried to stop him from doing what he wanted.
Total authority. As long as the filming was going on, Kazir wanted complete authority over the project.
"... Okay."
Saul stepped back and decided to trust him.
Naturally, the scene began after the makeup artists had finished adjusting the looks of the three protagonists.
Jack Black was scared the whole time, and that was what Kazir needed.
Luckily, the heavyweight champ knew how to control his punch and Jack Black was not hurt. But it was still scary.
[Author''s Note: I''m bored so I want to share my top 5 underated manga. What do you think of my list?]
1. Usogui
2. Pandora''s Heart
3. Alice In Borderland
4. Oyasumi Punpun
5. World Embryo