Talking Shop


    “Toymaker, Toymaker, I hate you…”


    “What the hell are you singing?”


    “Listen, I just had a god damn laser pop out of a fucking Ali Express grade motor scooter and melt my clothing off. I can be passive aggressive towards dumb ass super brains if I damn well want to be.


    Lady Bastion and Vindicate, shortly after the former had most of her costume “artfully damaged” by a gigawatt grade laser.


    Evelyn was almost dancing as her friends and her got to their new business building. “ Oh man, look at all this space! How many bays do you think will fit in here?” She sang, more animated than her friends had seen her in some time, and completely ignoring the metric ton of garbage and car parts scattered around the warehouse-slash-auto shop.


    "To keep things from getting cluttered, I''d say four, with a few storage lifts as well. That''s ignoring setting up a couple of bike lifts." Levi said, considering the space, and the crap that got left behind that they were going to have to lug outside and sort through for anything worthwhile. Fortunately, with the boss out of town, Nahoa was able to come along so the heavy ass, broken compressor tank wasn''t going to be an issue. "And the lighting looks like we can unplug whats here and hang new, better stuff ourselves."


    "I am going to admit, that''s assuming we stick a paint bay in that corner over there."


    “I think to save space you should get one of those inflatable bays for painting outside. Or put in a small building for it. That way also you don’t stink up the shop and can have more control of the temperature.” Mercades said, looking around. Eleanore had offered to let her use one of the upstairs offices for a studio room, but she was already considering setting up on the roof. She suspected it would be quieter.


    "Fair, and we can take it down when we aren''t painting. We don''t want to paint outside, that''s just a quick way to have bugs and dirt in the finish.But the portable is a good idea, at least short term."


    Anzy, or at least one of her, was poking around in the junk, nodding along with the conversation while setting tools on a cart with a dodgy wheel she’d found. "Either way, there''s not much you guys couldn''t do in here. Hell, you could lose a project in here and not find it for a month."


    “There may be a project somewhere in here now. Possibly three.” Levi said. “El, did you order a dumpster to throw shit in? If not, we are going to need one.”


    “The front does need greenery. Maybe I can go get some of those big planter things from a home store. Some soil and flowering bushes? Oh, I know, Japanese maples. Mercedes muttered


    "Yeah, I assumed cleaning was going to be needed." She said, "And that sounds lovely for the offices, lobby and front." she agreed. "I''d say, let''s do the four lifts, like you said. Two motorcycle lifts. That''s plenty for our own projects, and for the Youtubers I''m hoping to draw in. It also means if we need a lift in an emergency we can likely clear one."


    "We can also get a portable lift or two, as emergency expansion. I see that being something that comes up." Levi admitted.


    Erica looked at the floor and walls. "It''s dingy in here though. You mind if we clean out, then paint, maybe seal the floors. Make it look nicer."


    “Not at all. We are pretty unlimited in our budget. The boss wants to do this right and is getting tax breaks on the business loan she’s taking out for it. “


    “How about we go for a clean white paint for most of the space with wood trim, the modern black and steel doesn’t seem right with the boss.” Mercedes said. “Oh by each bay let’s put in a chalkboard paint section then people can draw and put project notes on the wall, that should look really neat!”


    “We might want to get a temporary storage container while we do.” Anzy added. “There’s some actual parts and tools in among the junk, so we are going to have to sort it.” She nodded and gestured for Nahoa to lift a rusted out block he lifted to show her. It was a paperweight.


    "Oh, that''s actually a couple of good ideas. I always end up writing parts lists and project steps on a bit of cardboard like a maniac." Levi admitted.


    Anzy was googling what made the most durable shop floor. “Looks like epoxy or something called U-creat are the recommended materials. I think a simple grey, keep the clean look. “


    "Yeah, Epoxy floors also tend to resist stains from oil and fluid spills." Erica nodded.


    "It''s a shop, a few stains are fine." Levi chuckled. "But yeah, I think we''ll be pretty well set with the plan here. We can figure out where to put compressors and tool storage once we finish clearing and cleaning. So shall we go look in the offices?"


    They nodded giggling as they all pushed into the small elevator to the second floor before piling out. “Ouch, now this looks dated.” Anzy said wincing. Those yellow walls have got to go!


    "Yeah, the flooring is fine, but we need to back that up. White or off white or something." Erica nodded.


    "And I think this is the color every room is. But that makes it easy, we just have to paint everywhere. That won''t take too long." Evelyn said. "A few gallons from Home Depot and we''re golden."The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    "The downstairs is just one big open office thing, so why don''t we take that for when we need to call for parts, or the tubers need to record audio." Erica mused. "Up here is three offices, then the open space so what, a table for meetings, an office for you, and the other two are when the boss expands into something?"


    Levi said “I think we mirror downstairs, white walls, wood trim. Oh, I know let’s put in a picture rail to show off projects we finish and teams that work here. Give it a bit of a retro look.” He wandered down the hall looking around.


    “Just make sure everyone knows to wash their hands before using anything in the break room downstairs.” There was an area, almost an airlock, between the downstairs office and shop area, which included the downstairs bathroom and a small kitchen breakroom combo.


    “Yeah, let’s turn the open space Into the conference room. I think use one of the spare offices as the sound recording room. We can put sound deadening material in there and better light . I am pretty sure it’s going to be too noisy downstairs for recording.” Erica said. “And offices in shops collect clutter. No one wants that on camera!”


    “It might be worthwhile to build a small office space actually in the shop area, or even just get a shed and stick it in there to use for that. It can be soundproofed and means we’ll get to use office space with nice floors as office space for nice floors.”


    "We could paint a wall Chroma Key for that sort of thing too?"


    “That is a good idea.” Anzy said. “Put a curtain rod up as well so if they don''t wanna deal with it they can just pop up some black curtains or something.”


    "Do you just want to purchase all the recording equipment for the room.” Mercades asked. "that might reduce the wear and tear on the room, and gives you another product to offer.If it really takes off, maybe hire a sound guy they can contract from us to really work their magic.”


    "The sound guy is a bit much. Everyone deals with editing in their own way, from what I gather." Evelyn mused. "However, getting a couple of half decent cameras, some go pros, that would mean people coming in might not need to heft something, if they''re coming from out of state. It also adds to what the boss has for when she needs it."


    “Hey guys, I''ve been moving all the trash. I found… most of a car. I think?” Nahoa called out from downstairs


    The group trooped down the stairs to find Nahoa, who had continued working on throwing junk out the back door staring at what was indeed a considerable portion of a car. Levi and Erica approached, the taller boy helping his girlfriend climb over some junk so she could get to the door. "Cadillac Commercial Chassis...1967... Hearse?" She looked over the frame. Most of the frame was, in fact, still there and had been extended from the looks of it. Someone had removed the bulk of the body after the driver''s seats, leaving only bare metal for the roof and an open back. The rest had been ripped out, leaving the undercarriage and drive train all visible. They’d even installed the drive shaft, likely due to it being easier when the body was missing.


    “I think they were stretching it?” Nahoa said. “I wasn’t sure if this was trash or treasure. If you want I can throw it in the dumpster.”


    "Let''s clear out around it, see whats here." Erica suggested, the kids starting to heft junk and two cases of motor oil boxed six years ago out of the way. She climbed in from the back, and discovered keys, though there was obviously no power. However she could put it into neutral. "It''s got a transmission."


    After about twenty minutes of work they were able to push and pull it out into the middle of the floor, where they popped the hood. "Oh wow, the engines here. I mean, it needs cleaned up and love, but it''s here." Levi pushed on the fan. "And the engine is turning. If it can start, it''s a driving chassis, just lacks most of the body. I''d say someone got a deal on a used hearse and thought to expand their fleet and only got part way into the project."


    “Then this place closed or they didn’t pay a bill.” Anzy said. “It sounds like a good project though. It’s a pretty blank canvas.” Mercades and another Anzy moved a bent hood. “Another engine over here!”


    “I’m beginning to see why this place failed.” Evelyn muttered.


    "That''s not a shock." Levi said, walking over and looking at it. "Stuffed all the holes with cloth, looks to be used but not in bad shape. My bet this was something they pulled from a damaged unit to use if they needed to replace a power plant. I mean, this is a good sized v8 so perfect for a limo. This is a keep. Set it on the back of the roller." he suggested to Nahoa. "Until we can get an engine stand for it."


    "Hey, you know what I have as an idea if this runs?" Erica said. "We put a flatbed on it, and have a Cadillac car carrier."


    “Ooooh. Repaint it cherry red with flames?” Mercedes said her eyes going bright. No. Dark blue, with red Japanese maple leaves and cherry petals!”


    “I like your sense of style. You’ll have a show car if we aren’t careful.” Erica laughed.


    Levi nodded. “Fuck yeah I can see it, this will be the coolest shop truck ever! I think if we do a winch and sliding bed it will work, maybe go all out and lift kit it with some airbags.”


    "Oh god, we find the tail panels and runners for it, we do it up all nice, paint or epoxy the bed, make it look like a luxury car hauler. Stretch the hips so we can have those caddy wings but still fit a car."


    "Oh a lift kit might be a need, just to haul things. Airbags I''m thinking no, but raise her up, put truck springs and shocks on her. Hell, that and mounting panels isn''t even that long a job. My jump box is here, lets see if we can get her to start." Levi said, as he started rooting through shelves of abandoned crap, cheering as he found a partial can of ether. "Starter fluid. Lets go!"


    Mercedes had found a clear spot on the floor and was sketching ideas for the paint job Erica poured some starter in the engine. “Okay Levi, fire her up!


    "Okay.” He had hotwired the car as they weren''t sure where the key was, and it turned over but it didn''t start. He fiddled with a few wires, checked the carburetor and tried again. This time it ticked over a couple of times and died. "Oh, it’s trying."


    Erica put in a bit more fluid and jiggled a few things on her end. “Try her again.”


    He twisted the wires and she kicked alive after some grind, running for about thirty seconds before stopping. "Okay, she runs-ish, though she''s going to need tuned up and maybe a new rod. Does she have fuel, or are we needing to look into a pump?"


    "I think I found the back." Nahoa said, pulling out a pair of quarter panels, the same color and pointed style as the front end.


    “We will want a new pump.”Erica said she was making a parts list on her phone. “Man… kinda wish we had that chalkboard you were talking about Mercades.”


    Upstairs Elenore looked at another Anzy. “We’ve lost them. Shall we head to Home Depot?


    "Yeah. I can help you shop, and maybe paint. Should we tell them we''re going in case they want us to grab something?"


    “They are too busy. If they need something they can call, let’s go."


    “Yeah and paint sprayers. I think we might wanna pay someone to do the epoxy, we want that to look clean,


    "There''s companies that do that, so we can look them up later. We''ll get them to push the car they''re doing out into the driveway to work on so we can get that done when it is time. Nahoa is still clearing junk, thankfully."


    “He is a really reliable fellow.” Anzy said “and a law student. He can herd the cats while we shop.”


    "Or pick them up and put them in a box so they can only meow."