Aurelia didn’t have the will to meet his gaze. A part of her just wanted to dodge the question by leaving, but the firm hold on her waist proved otherwise. And it was this exact situation that had her answering unwillingly.
“The…reason.”
She began silently.
“The reason I do all of this, is because we’re too close, Igor.”
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|DxD|
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“...”
Lying under the covers with Aurelia, Igor had no words to say. His eyes had slightly widened after her sudden revelation. Feeling more than surprise however, was that there was irony behind her words.
“Too…close?”
She dumbly nodded against his chest, her eyes refusing to meet his. This time, Igor tightened his hold around her.
“Too close?”
“...”
This time, her cheeks flushed slightly. The irony in her statement was not lost on her. Igor found it cute how his usually expressionless sister was making such cute expressions.
“You say we were getting too close. So you call me by fancy titles to place some distance between us. Yet…”
The beginnings of a grin formed on his face.
“...you’re sharing the same bed as me?”
“...”
If not for how she seemed vulnerable, he would’ve laughed out loud at just how ludicrous her idea was. The only reason he didn’t was because she seemed so embarrassed she would die if he teased her any further.
Nonetheless, he wasn’t pleased that she was trying to alienate him.
“Explain this to me, sister.”
Gently lifting her chin towards him, he continued.
“Why would you want to distance yourself from me? It doesn’t make sense. There’s no need for you to do so.”
“There is.”
This time, she met his eyes with her own.
“There’s a reason for this.”
“...”
He didn’t respond or jab at her. He could feel that the situation was serious…and that it was taking every ounce of her willpower not to avert her eyes.
“Someday…”
Her fists subconsciously clenched.
“Someday, you will take a woman. When that time comes…”
She couldn’t hold his gaze anymore. Lowering her head so she couldn’t meet his eyes, she subtly pressed herself further against him.
“When that time comes, you and your woman will share a bed. During that time, I…I will not be needed.”
Shutting her eyes tightly, she released all the words she kept in her heart.
“I do not want to endanger your relationship with the woman you have chosen by spawning a seed of jealousy. That’s why…that’s why I wanted to put some distance between us. We had become too close, close enough that any relationship you might have would be in…jeopardy.”
She faded into silence, her words hanging in the air. Whether she knew it or not, she was hugging him tightly, almost as if that fated day has arrived and she could no longer embrace his warmth.
“...”
There was no appropriate verbal response Igor could think of. This was not the time for snarky comments or casual remarks. So he held her tightly and forwent all thought processes.
Trusting his gut, he spoke without tact.
“You know. As smart as you are, sister, you sometimes fail to consider the most simplest of things.”
Chuckling lightly, he continued.
“Idiot. Did you ever consider my input? I’d imagine that if you were to map out someone’s life, you’d ask them what they thought, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll put it as simply as I can, sister. Do you remember a couple of years ago when you talked to me about marriage and stuff?”
“...”
Her silent nod was enough.
“You never brought up the talk again, but I never forgot it.”
His brows briefly scrunched at the thought of the headache-inducing subject.
“As much as I hate to say it, I’ve had thoughts of marriage in my mind for the last few years. I still don’t want to get married, atleast not anytime soon. But…your talk brought up some considerations for me.”
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He idly began stroking her hair.
“I won’t be long-winded, sister. I’m not one for this mushy stuff so I’ll be straightforward. When I thought of the perfect woman I would be willing to risk it all with, the woman who I would be willing to show my back to and trust with every fibre of my being…the woman who I could actually see a future with…”
His ministrations on her scalp drew to a close.
“...I thought of you.”
“?!”
She immediately lifted her head in shock. She couldn’t believe her ears. When they locked eyes, there was no hint of mischief or joviality. He was serious. Dear God, he was serious.
“W-What? What are you…what are you…”
Aurelia didn’t want to believe it. This has to be a joke. It has to be. He can’t possibly mean…THAT, right? She was too old, older than even Shuri. He can’t truly mean that-
“I’m saying whatever you think I’m saying.”
His hand once more went to cup her cheek.
“I want you to trust me when I say this. I won’t lie and say I love you. What I have is more than that. But there isn’t really a word for that now, is it.”
The briefest of smiles formed on his face, but his eyes never once left hers.
“I don’t like this mushy emotional stuff, sister. Saying it makes me feel weird. So I want you to listen to my words properly, because I doubt I’ll ever say them again without dying a little inside.”
There was no going back now. He had inadvertently opened a powder keg he didn’t want to address until he could atleast stand toe-to-toe with Indra. Since it has already happened, he was willing to go all in.
“Aurelia. In the time we have known each other, you have become someone of invaluable importance to me. I trust you unconditionally. My adoration for you is endless. I admire you from the depths of my heart, and your tenacity makes me truly respect you.”
“...”
Aurelia’s eyes flickered with a brief flash of hope and dread. Her cold heart that she had closed for decades was warming up…and that filled her dread. What was she hoping for? Was she even allowed to hope?
As his words resounded in her mind, the beginnings of tears slowly formed in her eyes.
[No…no no no no no.]
She didn’t want this. She was too old and broken to be worthy. She hoped he was lying, but the thought alone only brought more tears through her eyes.
Using his thumb, Igor wiped away a lone tear that had trailed down her cheek. His eyes were tender and caring, his gentle ministrations causing her body to lock up.
“They say that a woman makes a man lose his ambition. Yet you have made me far stronger than I possibly could’ve been on my own. You have supported me endlessly. In the times that you had my life in your hands, you aided me. Your words to me were never filled with deceit and your advice was always sincere. For all these years, you have cared for me beyond reason, beyond duty, beyond gratitude.”
He gently kissed her forehead, her sniffs audible as her tears stained his chest.
“I’ve had eight years to think this through sister. That’s plenty of time for even someone as stupid as me. I’m not quite where I want to be yet in terms of strength, but if I want a wife in the future, I don’t need it to be any other woman. I would rather it be you, if you’ll allow me.”
He lowered his head, his eyes meeting hers once more.
“If you truly don’t want to be with me or the thought makes you uncomfortable, I will completely forget this topic and everything will go back to the way it was before.”
However, he soon sported a small grin.
“You have three seconds to refuse. Three…”
“...”
Aurelia was nervous, more nervous than she’s ever been in her life.
“Two…”
Here she was, being offered something she thought she would never see in her life.
“One…”
She wanted it. Yet she was scared. But she want-
Chuu~
“?!”
Without hesitation, Igor descended on her lips. The kiss was soft, almost bordering on the level of a chaste kiss. Her lips were tender, the softness compelling him to sink further into them. Moving his hand to the back of her head, he gently pulled her towards him.
It was his first kiss, and he found himself loving every single moment of it.
“...”
Yet when she didn’t reciprocate his desires, his heart sunk, his mind filled with worry. Pulling back, opened his eyes and noticed how she was crying.
[I overthought things.]
Because of how roughly he held her hair, several strands had hidden her eyes from view, but not her tears.
[Damnit…]
Immediately, he felt like the worst scum on earth. For the first time in his life, he did something he thought he would never do.
He apologised, because there were no other actions he could use to make up for his fatal mistake.
“I’m sor-”
Chuu~
In the blink of an eye, Aurelia hungrily pressed her lips against his. Her hands framed his face, her fingers grabbing his locks of blonde hair. Her tears trailed down her cheeks in fervour, yet the reason for their presence was infinitely far from sadness.
Gradually, Igor finally responded to her kiss. Different from before, he was no longer gentle. With his hand behind her head, he pressed her against him. Though with how enthusiastic she was, this wasn’t needed.
Their shared kiss was innocent. But the emotions behind it were strong. Hooking his free arm under her, he brought her on top of him. Her legs went over his own until she was sitting just above his pelvis. Her generous assets rubbed against his torso and for the love of all that is holy did they feel wonderful.
However, the sudden change in position was enough for Aurelia to finally realise what she was doing. As her lucidity returned, her shameful actions made her panic.
Unfortunately, she found it hard to remove herself from him. Rather than his arms pinning her to him, it was her body that refused to listen. Instead of retreating, her body began doing the unspeakable.
Her hands roamed his chest, her fingers tracing his pectorals. Her hair hung around his face like a curtain, his hands having undone the bun she had tied it in. Gradually, her fingers climbed his body all the way to his shoulders…until the coldness of the sheets finally made her regain enough coherency to stop.
[This is a mistake…]
Opening her eyes, she fought to restrain her desires. Sitting on top of him, she slowly pulled herself back. There was no trace of regret in her eyes. In fact, her heavy breathing suggested she wanted more…so much more.
But her desire was followed behind by anxiousness. There were traces of fear in her gaze, her eyes betraying the true concerns hidden in her mind.
With her hands placed on his chest, she looked at him, her eyes almost pleading.
“Do you…do you truly want me?”
“Yes. I do.”
“B-But I’m old.”
“I still want you.”
“...”
Clenching her fists, she uttered the sentence that would no doubt put a stop to everything.
“I’m…broken. I’m not a good enough woman for you. I…I have too much…baggage.”
She could not become the bright star that Asia would eventually be. Her eyes had seen too much darkness from a young age. The warmth that normal women could provide was something she wasn’t confident she could give him, not when her heart had grown cold from years and years of-
“And? Do I look like I care? I still want you. Warts and all.”
“...”
Her eyes hung low as she nervously bit her mouth. He could see she was still lacking confidence in herself. Her gears were turning in what he guessed-no, knew were self-deprecating thoughts.
Sitting up, he placed a hand behind her waist while another went behind her head.
Chuu~
Gently, he gave her a chaste kiss before he separated from her.
“I want you to listen to what I have to say. I don’t want you to doubt my words in the slightest, alright?”
All she gave him was a dazed nod, her eyes locked onto his. Slowly, he placed his forehead against hers, his eyes piercing into hers with sincerity.
“I am not saying this because of a lust-induced haze. I want you for who you are, what you are, and how you are. Believe me when I say I had more than enough time to think this through.”
He leaned in…
Chuu~
…and kissed her lips once more. This time, it was slow…more sensual. Holding her in his arms, he used action to prove his feelings…his sincerity. Slowly pulling back, he did not evade her eyes.
“Do not doubt my words in the slightest, alright?”
He wiped away her tears with his thumb, his warm smile easing her.
“Do not doubt me.”
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AN
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God help this world if this is a another illusion. I initially thought that when Aurelia rejected his advances, it was only because of age. Looks like there was indeed more. Again, this better not be an illusion.