The lights went on again. More time passed. Someone knocked on my door. Nobody has ever knocked on my door, I don''t order services nor do I know anyone here. This is obviously a trap. A shadow clone opened the door while I hid in stealth. A beautiful redhead lady was at the door.


    The moment I opened the door, 2 Silent Night swiftly entered my room in stealth. The lady tried funny stuff but my shadow clone declined and closed the door. Her objective was just distraction. If I was my shadow clone and I was unaware of the situation I''d be quite dead.


    The Silent Night were sitting in corners patiently waiting until I would go to sleep. I waved my hands in front of them and did a small dance. I guess my stealth is better. Now what to do? Do I efficiently counter assassinate or do I have some fun? I have never been on the receiving end of an assassination before.


    Actually, that''s incorrect. We''ve been targeted by assassins for the longest of time, I just always located them first. The incident in Ainahs was the first time we were located first. My illusion that makes us unlikely to be found dropped a while ago. Tomato goddess and Azu can find us now if they put in the effort. I''d like to believe that I stand a chance to survive an encounter with tomato goddess but I could be completely wrong in this.


    My shadow clone was pretending to write something. He crumpled the paper and threw it over his shoulder. This was aimed at one of the Silent Nights in stealth of course. This caught him by surprise and he dodged it quite strangely. The other Silent Night did his best to not laugh. The fact that they can see each other means that they either know each other well or their stealth is at the same level. Or one of them put the other in stealth.


    I made sure to make most of the crumpled-up paper balls miss him but some were going straight for him. He had enough of it and went for the assassination but my clone got up and turned around so he backed off.


    My clone went to play video games. Every time they got close, I moved my arms to turn the controller. I was playing a racing game so this wasn''t all too weird.


    One Silent Night was watching the game while the other tried to assassinate me. I lost the race. The impatient Silent Night went for the kill but my shadow clone threw the controller in frustration and it hit the Silent Night on his forehead and knocked him out. He had some special type of stealth on him because this didn''t knock him out of stealth.


    Huh did I hit something?


    The other Silent Night did his best to not laugh and dragged his unconscious colleague to the side so that I wouldn''t trip over him. My clone pretended to find out what my controller could have possibly hit. The patient Silent Night tried to wake up the impatient Silent Night but it was of no use. He focused and observed my shadow clone. My shadow clone went to shower.


    The Silent Night followed him. What a creep. My shadow clone showered like I always do by also playing with the water. Everything got wet, even the Silent Night. My shadow clone and I covered ourselves with a thin [Pure Water Veil] and ''accidentally'' knocked a plug out of a socket and electrocuted the whole room.


    The unaware Silent Night got zapped and passed out. Having fun with counter assassination is successful! I knocked both out of stealth and tied them up and put some restraining seals on them. They wore clothing that screamed Silent Night so they won''t be able to talk themselves out of this.


    I also made them hang upside down from the ceiling. Now there are 2 things I can do, interrogate them and let them go or turn them in. Turning them in won''t do much, it''s their role, this is what Silent Nights do. It will just tarnish their reputation a bit. There is no merit in interrogating them either, I know why I''m targeted. I sighed and decided to let them go after I poked them a bit.


    <hr>


    Loud arguing woke me up. I threw a pillow at the arguing duo and tried to catch more sleep. This didn''t work so I cut the rope which tied them to the ceiling and they fell on their heads, knocking them out. I can sleep again.


    Again, did I wake up to arguing.


    Shut up!  They looked at me.


    "Hey, can you let us go?"


    You can''t be serious; you disturb my sleep twice and you want me to let you go?


    "Wait, that''s what you''re upset about? Not that we were targeting your life? How did we get caught anyways? I can''t seem to remember…"


    "You got hit on the head by a controller hahahaha!"


    It was amusing to watch you guys fumble around, you’re just doing your job.


    "Wait, our data said you''re the Silver Torrent, you''re not supposed to notice us!"


    Well, you might not know this but I was a candidate to become a Silent Night.


    I threw a dagger and it lodged into the floor next to them.


    Now, I have a good idea why I’m targeted but I’d like to make sure, any funny business and you will ''mysteriously'' disappear. Understood?


    The Silent Nights confirmed my suspicion. Just a petty emperor with a fragile ego. I was to be assassinated and have my head delivered to him or I would be captured alive so he can finish the job personally. There was a large emphasis on the latter so I''m probably more likely to get kidnapped than assassinated. These guys realized that killing is easier than restraining so they would go for the smaller prize for lower difficulty. I got a 1 gold bounty overnight for being brought in dead and 10 gold if I got brought in alive.


    Apparently, this isn''t uncommon. Tourists, travelers, and adventurers tend to disappear here if they speak ill of the emperor. It is good business for the Silent Nights so they keep their ears open. What a shitty place.


    Hey Isi, maybe it''s better to destroy the planet. I think it''s easier to start from scratch than to fix all this mess.


    I had nothing against them so I gave each of them 2 silver for the entertainment. I warned them that the next time they come after my life I will end them. Everyone deserves a second chance, well almost everyone.


    I wonder if it would be a good idea to assassinate the emperor. I thought about it, the next emperor will probably be Zanyr Zanyr the 23rd but actually the 11th, and this realization might drive him nuts and make this place worse. No assassination then. I think I should just leave.


    I left the Adventurer’s Association and got jumped immediately. No patience it seems. I teleported to a rooftop and ran away. These Silent Night weren''t hiding that they wanted to chase me. Although they probably want to catch me so stealth is relatively useless.


    I jumped from rooftop to rooftop until I suddenly got caught by a large magic trap. I dispelled it almost immediately but they piled on various capture magic and I got overwhelmed. I should have taken this a bit more seriously…


    <hr>


    I got brought to the palace in front of Zanyr Zanyr the 22nd.


    "So, you are the fool that called me an imbecile?"


    No, you have the wrong person, I called you a lunatic.


    This guy looked like he had never ran a minute in his life. Maybe he had never even walked in his life. He got fed his food by maidens. I guess the typical rich fat guy look?


    "Right, I will let you choose how you die; you join our army, you fight me and die by my hands or you will become my dinner."  Wait, you eat humans? That''s fucked up bro…


    "Silence! Don''t tell me what I can and cannot do! I''m the emperor! Humans taste just like pork, proving that they are just pigs."


    Entitled much? Aren''t you a human too? You kind of look like a pig yeh hehe.


    The emperor became red and furious.


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    "I am the emperor, the god of this country! You pig won''t tell me what to do! Heresy! I will deal with you myself! Royal guards!"


    The guards erected an anti-magic barrier. My restraints fell off. The emperor seemed to have a ring that protected him from this effect. I tried to create a [Fireball] but magic circle formation got blocked and the use of mana got blocked. So, a Duet barrier, blocking magic formation in 2 different ways. I can''t even use frost magic with this because it still requires magic circles.


    The emperor started to cast [Holy]. I evaded it. It seems quite strong. I could still use my racial skills so I took some daggers out of my dimensional pocket and threw them at the emperor.


    A barrier blocked them. I don''t see how a human could win this. Beast kin could have a chance and possibly tear down the barrier while evading these attacks. Wild Fang would have no issues defeating this guy. The problem is… the further west you go on the Kaledon continent the less accepting humans are of non-humans.


    For this reason, you will hardly find any here. Hjuva and Aquini are relatively safe for them. With Aquini Kingdom being the best option. There are 2 important cities that have an invisible line.


    Anything west of Gittrian is relatively hostile to non humans while the east is relatively safe. Anything North of Saluk has tolerance for slaves while anything south of Saluk won’t tolerate slavery. I have mainly been south of Saluk so I haven’t dealt with slavery besides when we got sold in Jubra all those years ago.


    The emperor was slowly losing his patience. "DIE, DIE, DIE DIE"


    That''s some impressive vocabulary you have there emperor, truly befitting a god.  The emperor popped a vein and seemed to choke in anger. He was gasping for breath.


    Don''t tell me my comment killed him.


    The barrier dropped and the guards piled on me and restrained me while healers flocked to the emperor.


    "Throw him in the dungeon but don''t touch him I will kill him myself." Is the last thing he said before he passed out from hypoxia and anger.


    I got thrown into a pretty cliché dungeon. It should be easy to get out here but I don''t have much to do anyways so might just ride this out. I took some time to disable all the restraints and put them back on.


    Now that I know how they work they will be easily disabled when I need to. These dungeons were quite depressing. A lot of mummified corpses down here. The emperor probably forgot that he locked these people up. Maybe he will forget me so I can escape without consequences. But no, I got dragged out after 5 days.


    "There you are, you scum, don''t think I forgot about you."  Is it me or did you lose weight?


    "Silence! This stress diminished my essence!"


    That essence must have held a lot of weight for you hehe.  He became red again and was again gasping for air. I got sent to the dungeons again. Maybe I should just shut up and get this over with.


    I practiced some Dragonvein in this small dungeon. There might be situations where I might not have a lot of room so this is the perfect setting to practice.


    I got dragged out 2 weeks later. The emperor seemed to have lost a considerable amount of weight. He could be recognized as a human being now, just an overweight one.


    "So, you are back. What do you have to say for yourself?" I remained silent. "You have mocked me and insulted me! Answer! I am a god and you shall treat me such!"


    I just looked at him. I haven''t done anything but he''s already pissed off.


    "Raise the barrier! It is time for him to perish!" The barriers popped up and my restraints fell off. "At least this will feel extremely satisfying now when I destroy you!"


    He used [Light Pulse] and [Holy]. I continued to dodge and stared at him.


    "What is with that judging stare? Bow down to my brilliance!" I did no such thing.


    "Bow pig!" I took out Shirayuki and cut his attacks in half.


    "Aaagh! Who gave him a magic weapon!" He started to lose it and started hyperventilating. I put Shirayuki away as the barrier dropped and I got restrained again. What is this clown fiesta…


    I continued practicing Dragonvein in small spaces and I got quite good at it. I did the same with sword fighting. It was challenging because I can''t alter Shirayuki''s length. A month passed and I got dragged back up. I had forgotten the reason why I was here. My restraints got taken off. Strange.


    I got brought in front of the emperor or so I thought. A handsome young man was sitting on a throne that was way too big for him. He was looking in a mirror.  Hey, dude I would get off there, the emperor is going to kill you if he finds you there.


    "I see, so you do not recognize me. I have gotten extremely handsome since our last meeting." He got up and approached me.


    "I have been thinking this last month. Stress and anger had been eating at me up until 2 weeks ago and then I discovered my handsomeness. After this discovery, it all washed away. I could think clearer than ever. My maidens and attendants treated and looked at me differently. And I got to this realization. An emperor needs defiance to become strong and handsome. "  … did you fall on your head? Where is the emperor?


    "Yes, this is what I mean, people like you are needed to keep big egos in check. I thought to be a god, I look more like a god now but I know I am not. Do you know why? Because I have been proven wrong!"  Uhm, can you answer my question, please? I don''t really care about your revelation or the results of your self-search, I want to talk to the emperor so I can get this over with…


    "Ah apologies, you are talking to him right now. I''m Zanyr Zanyr the 22nd… no I''m Zanyr Zanyr the 10th."  Hey guards, this lunatic is pretending to be your emperor!


    Judging by the guards'' reaction it seems this guy was indeed the emperor.


    Aha, interesting, what the fuck happened to you!


    "That''s what I''ve been trying to explain to you just now…"  So, you got so stressed out that you lost a lot of weight, realized you''re handsome, got a clear mind, realized you were being a lunatic, and got your head sorted all because I was uncooperative? Hahaha! This isn''t a cartoon or fiction!


    I did my best to not make a fool of myself but this was too funny. The emperor just waited patiently.


    Wait, you''re serious?


    "I have done things that weren''t handsome and I can''t say that I am proud of it. I am still internally fighting against my god complex because look at me! Only a god can be this handsome, but I am serious about changing my life." I have to give it to him. he looked quite handsome but can people really change like this overnight? Overnight... I''ve been stuck here for about 2 months! I need to get out of here.


    Uhh ok, so does this mean I am free to go?


    "I would request you to become my advisor!"  Rejected!


    "May I know why?"  I don’t want to!


    "So direct! This is exactly what I need! What can convince you to become my advisor?"  Nothing


    "Hmm playing hard to get eh, I understand it is hard to forgive me for what I''ve done to you and Zanyr. I will make Zanyr great again and prove to you my sincerity and then ask you again!" He walked away.


    "Geoffrey, we need to purge all the corrupt nobles! Set up a meeting!" What just happened?


    The guards led me to a luxurious room.


    Guys, I''m fine, can I go now?  They were hesitant but let me go.


    What do I do now? I was flabbergasted. A lot of strange things happen to me but this takes the cake. I did waste a lot of time but it seems it will have a positive effect on Zanyr.


    The next day came and some strange news spread. The ''number 1'' was no longer banned in the capital and the current emperor shall be referred to as Dimitri Handsome.


    The country would keep its name but Zanyr river, Zanyr mountain, Zanyr desert, and Zanyr the capital were pending for different names. A contest would be held to find the best names… more other weird news spread but all this just gave me a headache.


    All I did was call him a lunatic… Why do all of my small actions have such a ripple effect? At least he didn''t substitute ''Zanyr'' for ''Handsome''. That would be stupid. Handsome river, Handsome mountain, no thanks!