I’m bored. I’m sitting on a comfortable leaf couch on the ground floor and looking at the canopy above. Greg, Raishin, and I had gotten our own elven house here in this village. All high up. I was excited.


    So, I’ve been swinging and jumping around like a monkey and have fallen down twice in the 2 weeks we’ve been here. I am getting a dizzy spell once a week now. This caused me to miss a ledge, branch, or vine and caused me to fall down.


    Now I fall very slowly and I take no fall damage but Greg and the elves had gotten overprotective and put me in a house on the forest floor. So boring. They even have some elves watching me. Don’t they have anything better to do?


    I regret telling them that I have this problem. Now they won''t leave me alone. They keep checking up on me. I tried to give these 2 bodyguards the slip but there was no point. I had to come back to my house anyway.


    I had also been banned from stepping outside the village without someone to go with me because I’m toast if I’m outside and the tomato goddess catches me when I have a dizzy spell. I can’t say that I disagree with them but they don’t need to be so forceful.


    They also want to keep me safe because I had promised to make a spirit vessel for the guardian spirit. The thing is. I have no fucking clue how to make one. I had archived the info, and the documents I had about them. It was not a lot.


    The Seorwynn family was quite knowledgeable about spirits but this was a first for them. Talking about the Seorwynn family… I looked at a blonde elf chick that tried to chat with Greg. The daughter of Byron seems to be crushing on Greg. She might get in trouble with his stalker but since she is an immortal Raishin and I have silently given her the green light.


    She just has to punch through his dense head.


    I’m sorry Elliana, I’m busy. I have to make sure a certain fox doesn’t end up getting himself killed.  He looked at me.


    Hey don’t blame me for being unable to talk to the opposite sex!


    And what does that have to do with anything?


    Why don’t you let Elliana help you?


    “Oh, that is a wonderful idea! Thank you, Agnis! How about we check if his spirit energy has some complications?”


    Ehh what? No need to make this about me. Go do your nerd stuff together!


    Hmm, I’m not familiar with spirit energy, can you tell me more about it?


    The 2 nerds went off talking about stuff that might be important for me to know but I didn’t want to disturb their nerdy date so I sneaked away.


    Let’s summarize what I know about spirits:


    ? They are nice


    ? They are obsessed with bread


    ? They come from the spirit world


    ? I am a spirit too apparently


    So basically, I know nothing about them so I’m waiting till some elven scholars return from an ecological survey but it takes forever. I took Shirayuki out of my dimensional pocket. I had decided to just call her Nilah because having my sword named differently is more confusing now. I wanted to avoid confusion by naming it differently but that didn’t work out so well…


    Nilah instantly turned into a fox and requested cuddles. I still have no idea what she is. A sword, a skill or a fox?


    Hey Nilah are you perhaps a spirit?


    Nilah was too busy enjoying being cuddled to answer. The official name of [Nilah] is [Pneuma Boreas]. In the ancient language my gramps used to speak this means spirit of the northern wind. The skill says she is a spirit but if this is in a literal or figurative sense is unknown to me. Peeking into her magic circle sequence doesn’t tell me much.


    I saw a lot of foreign mana runes that I did know the existence of but Azu hasn’t extensively researched them so it was a big question mark for me. I wonder what Azu is doing right now. I suddenly remembered something. This should be Sylvana’s hometown. I tried to find my new elven buddy Jyno but I couldn’t find him.


    It was time for answers. I put Nilah followed me. I walked up to an important-looking elf who was interacting with his contracted spirit.


    Excuse me I’m looking for an elf named Sylvana.


    “I''m sorry I don’t know where she is, you mean Sylvana Asyna right?”


    Uhh the one that lived outside for a while yeah.


    The elf shook his head. “I’m sorry, she left after she accused us of not taking our role seriously. The issue she has brought up has our community divided.”


    More problems this isn’t going to bite back at me, is it?


    Hmm ok.


    I looked at his spirit which looked like a big leaf.


    What’s his name?


    “Name? It doesn’t have one. It can turn leaves into weapons and create strong gusts of wind. It has been my companion for 232 years.”


    ‘It?’ He doesn''t tell you things?


    “They are only capable of basic communication. Things like ideas or concepts. Conversation is only possible with medium spirits and higher.” He used simple words to instruct this spirit and it cut the small logs into pieces. I didn’t agree with what this elf told me but maybe this spirit isn’t talkative.


    Mind if I talk to him?


    “Go ahead.” The elf stepped aside for a bit.


    Hey there, I’m Agnis. May I ask you what your favorite food is?


    The leaf spirit waved it''s leafy arms with a high level of expression.


    Hmm, croissants I see.


    The spirit''s expressive behaviour continued and it made me feel that it shouldnt be difficult to understand him by his expressions alone.


    With chocolate? Do they even have that in this elf village?


    Never mind, how is an expression going to convey his preference for chocolate... Spirits sure have it hard. The spirit continued on and I got a rough idea of what was going on.


    Hmm, you tried to communicate that to Guyir but the message got lost?


    As I thought, this spirit was quite talkative and formed complete sentences. This elf whose name seemed to be Guyir seemed perplexed at our interactions. It seems that he is unable to fully understand his spirit.


    Hmm, not sure if it’s a language barrier but it seems to be unable to convey its feelings to you fully.


    Guyir looked at me, then at his spirit and back at me. “Wha… what was that language? Can you teach me that?”


    Oh right, I forgot that I can talk spirit. Ehhm I don’t think I can, to me it just felt like I was talking in Kaledonian, I’m sorry…


    Guyir’s ears drooped a bit. “I see, so croissants with chocolate, eh? Thank you, Agnis. I will see if I can get this for my spirit.”


    He picked up his spirit and tried to talk to it some more.


    I looked around. Not every elf was a spirit mage but it seemed that most elves that had lesser spirits had a similar issue as Guyir. I tried looking for spirit mages that had medium spirits. It took a while before I found one. This elf lady was talking to a spirit cat and it was talking back in Kaledonian.


    There was no language barrier here. It is just that this spirit got treated more as a pet or object. Is this a part of their contract?


    My eyes were on this duo which caused me to almost bumped into a floating book who appeared to be a medium spirit.


    “Oh excuse me. I wasn’t paying attention, hmm interesting you’re a spirit too.”


    Hey, you’re a book so you should be smart right? Can I ask you some questions?


    “Sure, I will do my best to answer as accurately and concisely as possible.”


    Why are these spirit mages unable to communicate properly with lesser spirits, why do they treat you as objects or pets, is this included in your contract and what do you know about spirit vessels?”


    “Whoa, whoa, one question at a time. For your first question spirits are unable to fully communicate with non-spirits. They can only do this as medium spirits or if they learn Kaledonian. Besides that, the non-spirit has to be able to interact with them. Spirit mages can interact with spirits. So lesser spirits have a racial disadvantage in communication. It does get better if they learn Kaledonian but for some reason, it''s extremely hard for lesser spirits to learn new languages.”


    Nilah was jumping around trying to catch the floating book. I picked her up and stuffed her in my shirt to make sure the book spirit wasn’t in danger. Her head popped out of the neck opening of my shirt and she had to observe from there.


    “Thank you for that. Now your second and third questions. It is in our contract. Most of us are contracted as lesser spirits so we can’t point out the problems with this contract. It seems to be the basis of every spirit contract they make. Only after evolving to a medium spirit and learning Kaledonian can we voice our opinions, but it is too late at that point. Some elves have tried to fix this but these spirit contracts are ancient and nobody knows how to adjust them.” This book flipped through pages every time the topic changed slightly.


    That seems rough. I guess it makes sense. From the elven perspective, the spirits might seem as simple as lesser spirits. They might have made this contract based on those. Then they discover they are just like any other race. I don’t know the exact history but I can imagine this happening. The elves do have a slight tendency to look down on simple races.


    “And for your last question… I apologize. This is the first time I have heard about something like a Spirit vessel. Can you tell me what it is?”


    Uhh, you’ve noticed that I’m a spirit with a body, right? Basically, it’s an imitation of my race. Making a body for spirits to inhabit. They won’t have to deal with powersports, contracts or possessing other beings.


    “Oh that’s a wonderful idea! I have never heard of such a thing but its the wish of many spirits! I wish I could help but I have no idea I’m sorry. I also don’t know of anyone who might…”


    That’s fine. I do have some leads but this information is ancient. It might be outdated and obsolete. I was hoping I could find more modern ideas.


    “I will ask other spirits if they know of anything. Don’t hesitate to ask me for help if you have a need for assistance.” I nodded and the book floated off to a group of spirits that were feasting on bread near a bread stand.


    I spent the rest of the day asking around the village. I even got a hold of Byron but he also didn’t know. So, nobody knows how to make this spirit vessel. Isn’t that fantastic?


    The sun was setting. Raishin was fitting in quite well in between the elven chicks. He has something most elven guys lack; he pursues them. He is quite popular and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a girlfriend.


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Gregory also seemed to fit in. He often hung out with Elliana and as far as I know he has been learning how to use nature energy. It got time that he would learn that.


    I feel a bit left out. I don’t feel like I really belong here. I am extra uncomfortable because some elves expect me to bond with an elvish chick. There is also this uneasy feeling about how the spirits are treated. They aren’t treated poorly it’s just… it feels off. Besides that, the only elves I''ve really interacted with are Byron, his daughter Elliana, and Jyno. But Jyno is doing some weird elvish hunting thing. It''s mainly my fault that I feel left out but I’ve spent most of these 2 weeks talking to the guardian spirit and trying to find out how to make this spirit vessel.


    Do I just stop asking around, waiting for those scholars, talking to the guardian tree and just start with what I know?


    I returned to my elvish house and sat at the table. Nilah jumped out of my shirt and started to run around. I decided to just start studying what I have. I put the documents on the table when my door flew open.


    I found her! Your new girlfriend!


    Raishin stood at the door and had 4 elvish chicks behind him. I recognized one as one of the chicks he’s always with so I assume it’s not her.


    I told you that I don’t have time for this and I''m not sure if you remember how to count but you brought 4 of them.


    Oh no, these 3 are mine. Here meet Inna!


    A tall elf with light brown hair stepped forward.


    I sighed. Now what do I do? I don’t want to send her away.


    “Raishin has told me all about you. I’m Inna Ydrah, nice to meet you.” She held out her hand.


    Hydra?  I shook her hand.


    “Inna Ydrah, I have been told that you’re bad with names and might reject me but I decided to try either way.” I looked at Raishin he was doing weird things with his eyebrows and cupping his hands and moving them indicating how he calls them ‘big badonkers’.


    Ugh, Raishin, you’re such an idiot. Thank you, Inna, but I’m quite busy. I will however see if I can kick the ass of a random elven guy and send him your way. Just tell me which one you’re interested in and I’ll see what I can do.


    Hey, that’s not supposed to happen!


    “I will take you up on that but do you mind becoming friends first?”


    I am a terrible friend but I don’t mind.


    “Good! Now I will use your kitchen if you don’t mind!” Raishin looked happy and took his harem away.


    Wait! Ugh, Raishin I will get you for that!


    Hehe, mission successful, partially! Let''s go ladies!


    Sounds in the kitchen as Hydra ad started kitchen activities.


    Ugh, have I become this hopeless that I need a babysitter?


    A head peeked from the kitchen. “I’m a friend remember?”


    The head disappeared and I heard more kitchen noises. So, the elves are in such a tight situation that a random elf chick decides to become my friend for no reason. Maybe I should drop this whole village under the same illusion I used on Eslana Village. I sighed


    The anatomical map of this spirit vessel was the only thing I could go by. It had a lot of icons I didn’t recognize. They’re not characters from a different language. I used different filters of my Elgards eyes to see if this document was holding any strange secrets.


    Hey Hydra!


    “It’s Inna!”


    What do you know about spirit vessels?


    “Not much sorry. Why do you have so much mustard?” I heard more clattering.


    To make my secret weapon. You can use some if you want.


    “I also threw away the milk. All of it was spoilt.”


    I got up.


    Noo! My other secret weapon!


    I ran into the kitchen and wanted to salvage what was left but my secret weapon #2 had been completely destroyed. I dropped down on my knees.


    My… secret weapon…


    “Oh I apologize, I didn’t realize that it was important to you.” I looked at Hydra. She was wearing an apron. Now that I take a good look at her, I realize that Raishin had a great taste. I sighed.


    It’s fine. I guess I have to make a new batch.


    I took 4 liters of poison out of my dimensional pocket and put them in containers on the kitchen counter.


    “So why is it your secret weapon?” Hydra seemed to be making some dish with fish. I guess Raishin had told her about this because most elves are vegetarians. I hope he didn’t tell me that the way to my heart is through my stomach because I might be screwed if he did.


    This poison has saved my life multiple times. Oh, I need an idea for Secret Weapon #3. Do you have any ideas?


    Hydra thought for a moment. “How about something super spicy?”


    Hmm, that actually makes a lot of sense. You know what you passed the friend application! So uhm what was your name again?


    “Inna Ydrah”


    Alright I’ll try my best to remember that.


    I got shooed out of the kitchen and went to study the document again and archived everything. Now that is cool but I only know how to do the very last step. The vessel was split up into 3 parts. 1 part would be completed when the spirit would enter the vessel. The other 2 parts are the ‘body’ and the ‘mind’. Now where have I heard that before?


    I wonder if I can contact Bellia. Maybe she doesn’t know anything about spirit vessels but she could tell me more about that mind, body and spirit thing. So, the mind means magic I guess in this and the body is literally the body.


    Should I start with magic first? Azu’s research has made me quite skilled in this. I feel confident that I can do this and if not, I can also invade Witchaven again and freshen myself up.


    “Food is ready!” 2 plates got put on the table.


    It looked great. It had fish and a lot of seafood, some steamed vegetables on the side and some mustard sauce covering a salad. Inna had the same dish.


    I thought you were mainly vegetarian?


    “I am willing to try new things. I am not as conservative as most of the elves here.” She took a bite of the fish and I could see that it was her first-time eating fish. I suppose a lot of things taste strange when eaten for the first time. I took a bite and realized why she made that face. She had used too much lemon.


    “I’m sorry…”


    It’s fine. It’s the thought that counts.


    The rest tasted quite good. She made a different face when she ate the salad with mustard sauce. I suppose she isn’t used to mustard this strong. It was quite a funny dinner.


    Hey, maybe you know about this, the Sarian goddess Bellia had told me about the mind body, and spirit thing. Do you know what that’s about?


    Hydra…Inna shook her head. “I only know that the three together form a perfect being in some beliefs or ancient stories. Now in real-life situations… I don’t know if it makes a perfect being but the mind is often associated with magic, the body is the flesh, and the spirit is the soul. I remember a story Sylvana had told me when she returned.”


    Oh you know Sylvana?


    “Yeah, she is my cousin.”


    Small world… So, what did she tell you?


    “The humans have uhh what is it? Science or something that has this as a theme. I think it was called alchemy.”


    Oh. I’ve heard about that. I guess my answer was close all along… I should ask Greg. Thanks!  I got up to clear off the table.


    “Oh no, I will do that” I raised an eyebrow.


    What has Raishin told you exactly?


    “That you need someone to break through your heart of stone and someone that takes care of you and makes sure you don’t do reckless stuff.”


    I sighed. I understand that he is worried for me but this was unnecessary.


    And how is this cooking and cleaning related?


    “He said that food is very effective on you.”


    Quite honest, aren’t you?


    “I don’t believe in relationships based on lies.”


    You do know that it’s unlikely that this goes anywhere, right?


    “I am but at least you show some sort of interest.”


    Interest? How disinterested are the elvish guys…


    “I don’t know… maybe this is a result of not executing our duties properly…” Inna cleaned off the table and wanted to bring them to the kitchen.


    Oh, there is no need.


    I snapped my fingers and [Incinerated] the dirty cutlery and dishes.  Bye!


    Inna jumped back. The dirty dishes and cutlery got incinerated while she was holding it after all. My mana control is top notch so she was unharmed.


    “What?!”


    I dislike doing the dishes. Why deal with them if I can make new ones with illusions?


    I created illusions of clean dishes.


    “That is absurd… Raishin was right…”


    Huh what? I think it''s efficient.


    Inna shook her head and put the clean illusionary dishes away and sat back on the table.


    “Anyways it was nice meeting you but I have to return home.” I got up to show her to the door.


    “Thank you.” She left and I was alone. I looked around to see what Nilah was up to but she seemed to have fallen asleep on the couch.


    I will find a nice elf guy for Inna and exclude both of them from my ‘Eslana Illusion’ when I leave. I went to the kitchen and took out a package of flour. I used a skill that I hadn’t used in a long time and attached it to the flour. It was the skill [Time Bomb]. last used in Boshi town to blow up pink protein shakes.


    I made a clone and had it sneak the flour [Time Bomb] into Raishin’s house. With that done I got an idea of another secret weapon. It will be a [Flour Time Bomb]. One day and 2 more secret weapons! I took all the flour I had out of my dimensional pocket and made a big batch of my secret weapon #4 [Flour Time Bomb].


    I should be able to combine it with some fire to create a dust explosion. This is my first secret weapon that has offensive capabilities. The first 3 are consumables.


    I started to think. It is similar to my [Shadow Vodka Blaze], do I promote that to a secret weapon 2 or do I strip [Flour Time bomb] from its secret weapon status?


    [Flour Time Bomb] got stripped from its secret weapon status. Back to 3 secret weapons. I have to find something spicy enough to create my third secret weapon. I didn’t possess anything spicy strangely enough. I had regular pepper but nobody will get incapacitated from this.


    I went over my secret weapons.


    ? Secret Weapon #1: Highly concentrated mustard, boiled to perfection. I created this to assassinate the king of Jarn, who was apparently the weakest man alive that even salt could kill him. So, if salt can kill him this super strong concentrated mustard would certainly snuff his light out, which it did. It was also crucial in getting us out of the stomach of that gigantic whale.


    ? Secret Weapon #2: Poison, also known as milk to most unaware species. I first used it to get Noobgod away from us, after that, it helped Vinny and me to break out of the dungeon with the shadow behemoth. And more recently it completely incapacitated Noobgod again. There is a boiled and spoilt version. Use with caution.


    ? Secret Weapon #3: Something spicy. I still need to work on this.


    I also have a Special Weapon. It''s my Millennial Foxbite. It is overpowered… situationally. It’s quite useless against gods and races that live for a long time. I have come to respect the use of non-offensive weapons. Not everything can and should be solved with magic. It seems that my next problem is the same.


    Alchemy, eh? That’s highly unusual. But I suppose it requires unusual methods to create unusual objects. I had set my goals. Work on Secret Weapon #3 and ask Greg about this. I will have to sneak out of the village to get peppers spicy enough to make my secret weapon.


    I dropped a [Spatial Anchor] in my living room, picked up Nilah who was still sleeping and brought her up to my bedroom.


    The elves wanted to give me a bed but my tails are softer and fluffier than anything they could make. I put Nilah in her blue sleeping basket and I curled up in my tails.