After getting directions from Caoilfhoinn to the other guest houses, Foxy and Prof set out to visit them. First was the “white” one, a two-story house on the edge of town. Just as they entered, they caught the end of a joke:


    “I''m sorry, he said, I''m retiring! I got an arrow in my knee!”


    The loud laughter that followed the joke lasted for minutes, almost shaking the building. Prof was interested at some level in what this huge joke might have been that made half a dozen people laugh so hard but decided, he probably could not get the cultural reference anyways.


    Looking around the common room, he took stock of the audience: at the table next to the door, three men, looking like bandits laughed so hard they were spewing spittle. A craftsman was sitting in one corner giggling, behind him a heavily armed man in chainmail was standing, with profound boredom on his face. On closer inspection, however, Prof noticed that his eyes were shining vigilantly and he was watching the table company next to the door with one eye.


    In another corner, a woman spread out herself on the chair and grinned happily. Of all the audience, this woman was the most interesting: she was wearing high-heeled bright green ankle boots, pink knee-length socks, a camouflaged “skirt” in Princess Leia style (that is, two strips of fabric reaching her ankles but split up to her hips), an open-belly carbon black t-shirt, and a red veil covering her eyes. She had countless different earrings and was wearing half a dozen rings on her fingers, and the veil was kept in place by an ornate silver tiara.


    Prof couldn''t decide if the woman was of the commercial affection, or if women on Arcadia were in fact allergic to normal, everyday clothing. But hey, even on Earth no man could really understand female fashion, and nothing was wrong with wearing boots with shorts and a shirt in "clashing colors". Foxy led Prof to the last empty table and gestured to the young bartender.


    “I''d like some juice and bring him a beer!”


    As soon as the drinks were in front of them, Foxy began to whisper conspiratorially.


    “Forget those three at the door. They are Level 6 and 7, but they are not looking exactly reassuring.“


    Foxy’s Character Parchment told him in clear terms that she was paranoid, but in this case, Prof agreed wholeheartedly. He wouldn’t have been surprised if they were really criminals and improved their income from burglary and robbery with some occasional mugging, and general banditry. Probably with added animal abuse. So maybe just regular Adventurers, but Prof still didn’t like the look they had.


    “If I’m not mistaken, the couple in the corner is a merchant with his bodyguard, so you don’t have to deal with them either. The woman is Level 6, but I have very bad feelings about her. Something is not right with her. And I''m not talking about her clothes!”


    Prof was always amazed at what he could have learned with high [Observe]. He tried to take a closer look at the strangely clothed woman, but he didn’t notice too many new things on her – the veil covered her hair and most of her face as well. In return, the woman also noticed his interest and smiled and began to wave.


    Prof hoped she wasn’t an independent entrepreneur of a certain profession who had just found a new customer. Prof looked questioningly at Foxy, who just shrugged her shoulder: she told him her opinion, and the decision was Prof’s. After some thought, he finished sipping his beer and with Foxy following him made his way to the other table.


    “Ma’am, my name is Prof, my friend’s name is Foxy. May we take a seat?”


    “Sit, sit, guys, tell me what you need!” She answered in a cheerful voice. From this point of view, Prof noticed a heavy leather jacket set on one of the chairs and a sword against the wall. “Call me Mini!”


    “It’s about a well-paying job in town, but according to our information, at least a full party of five is needed to solve it. We are looking for people who are trustworthy and are willing to come.”


    “Oooh! Is it a massacre or a good little orgy?” Mini licked her lips. For a moment, Prof could have sworn he saw needle-sharp canines, but when he tried to take a closer look at them, they seemed normal again.


    “Sorry to bother you, it was a misunderstanding," Foxy said suddenly. Prof looked at her incomprehensibly, and the woman leaned forward grimly.


    “ But why? I am gorgeous, in all modesty, I’m a genius, I have unprecedented fighting skills, you should be happy to let me join you!”


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    “I don''t trust vampires.” Was Foxy''s brief reply.


    “That’s speciesist, little wolf! You''re just jealous of my greatness!”


    “I''m more afraid that the moment I don’t pay attention, you’ll suck my blood out!"


    “Oh, little wolf, if I were to eat you, I would be very careful and you would enjoy every minute!" Mini stuck her tongue out, and though Prof still couldn’t see her eyes, it didn’t look like she was looking into Foxy’s eyes or neck, but a hand span lower. He was pretty sure it wasn’t about drinking blood anymore either - Foxy might have come to a similar conclusion because she turned to Prof, trembling.


    “Prof, it’s time to go. You can’t trust a vampire, they’re all completely insane and unmanageable! Come! Let’s go!”


    “Wait a minute, Foxy! Let’s look at her character parchment first and decide based on it.”


    Foxy was apparently not thrilled with the idea, but after a short time, she nodded.


    “All right, it doesn’t hurt to get you used to other people’s Character Parchment anyway and see what people with different Levels are capable of.”


    “Oh, now do you want to see my most secret parts? I think I like you, Prof. You are so direct and demanding! Come on, I''ll show them to you! I hope you have time!”


    “We didn''t mean that, bloodsucker!”


    “All right, little wolf, if you want, you can come too!”


    “We are curious about your Character Parchment, damn it!”


    “Oh, you just want to watch? As you like, you don''t know what you''re missing!”


    “Mini, can we see your Character Parchment?” Prof interrupted. He wasn''t sure if the Vampire did the teasing as a joke or was a serious and true pervert. Nevertheless, he started to get a headache, and if the girls had continued like this, it would have ended in bloodshed sooner or later. Or an orgy.


    Mini sent her Parchment over with a grin. As it turned out, her full name was Minerva Pannonii and she was Level 6, a Vampire (Human). Prof got his answer to his previous question.


    Mini couldn''t have been called gorgeous with only 11 in Charisma – her whole being rather screamed vulgarly – and with an Intelligence of 16, she wasn''t a genius either, but was still smarter than most. Her best martial Skill was a bit higher than Prof''s, and she got fourteen extra points of damage through her Perks, and the more damage she took, the harder an enemy she became.


    Not bad.


    However, her negative Perks were more problematic (not counting Nymphomaniac (2), which could be interesting), and Foxy was right: she was batshit crazy and probably unmanageable. She was Irresponsible, Cruel, Unscrupulous, Bloodthirsty, Narcissistic, and Sociopathic.


    “It’s my turn now! Show me your most secret parts!” Mini interrupted Prof''s deliberations with a grin. After Prof (and probably Foxy) sent their Character Parchments over, she licked her lips and started grinning even more “Thanks, but I didn''t mean those!”


    “If you want to see the most secret parts, go to the bathhouse!" Foxy rolled her eyes.


    “You can only watch there, and that will get boring after a while and they always ban me from entering. I don''t understand why.”


    “Prof, do we really want to continue this conversation?” Foxy apparently wanted to be somewhere else. Prof scratched his head.


    “I have a suggestion: we''ll have to visit the dungeon anyway, Mini could come too. If she works out as a party member, she can tag along for the big task too. What do you say?”


    “When are we going to hold the orgy?”


    “What orgy? No orgy was mentioned!”


    “All right, I see, you want to surprise me! Even more exciting!”


    “Prof, seriously?” Foxy switched to a begging tone. “Are you sure?”


    “Yes, it''s worth a try.”


    “All right, but I warned you!”


    “Ye-Hay! We are going on an adventure and to an orgy!”


    Mini jumped out of her chair, shouting loudly. The other guests of the inn stared at them with a grin, incomprehensibly, or utter disgust. Mini apparently enjoyed the attention, and Prof was almost certain she was about to ask who wanted to watch or join. Even after reviewing her Character Parchment, Prof wasn’t sure how much of the play was insanity and a running joke to upset others.


    Calling out her bluff could mean, he would realize it wasn''t a bluff at all or would lead to a very awkward situation. Prof decided to shelve the problem for a later date when he knew Mini better.


    “We will check the two other guest houses too, and set out to the dungeon in the morning”


    He prevented the expected appeal, just to be on the safe side. Foxy quickly arranged with the bartender to let them know if there was a new guest who might look to be usable, and then they left for the other guest houses with Mini in tow.