Dear Readers on EastTale and any other site that is NOT Royal Road, please be aware, you are reading an unlicensed pirate copy of the original on Royal Road. While I don''t make money out of this story, there are other folks who do (it still don''t cost you anything). If you like my story, please come over here to Royal Road! It has better formating, and the other sites doesn''t copy edits, if nothing else :)


    Not waiting for trouble to arrive, Prof delivered the package, received the pocket change, and they were away within a quarter of an hour. That was about a quarter of an hour longer than they should have wasted in town – the flight of naked mini-Elves descended on them before they managed to slink out of town. Gender spread was as usual: about fifty-fifty males and females.


    Yes, that meant, about half of the hundred Glitters were male. Small, flying, and naked males. That view was really disturbing.


    “Yo, monkey! Wanna play?”


    “Yo, monkey! No throwing shit around!”


    “Yo, monkey! Watcha doing?”


    “Yo, monkey! Where ya going?”


    “Yo, monkey! Those ya girls?”


    “Yo, monkey! Ya do Lizards?!?”


    And so forth. Every last one of the hundred-strong flock started to pester Prof but kept their space to Mini and Sharpclaw. So much about being a Gentleman.


    “Prof, under no circumstances can you attack or injure them!” Foxy warned “Sharpclaw, that is true for you too! Absolutely no attacking or injuring!”


    Prof tried to ignore the flying nakedness, and he was barely able to ignore two males who decided his head was a perfect place for sitting and pestering. At least he had his hat on, two naked males sitting on his head would have been just… sooo… disturbing. What he was not able to ignore was when one of them clambered down to hang on the rim directly in front of his face.


    “WAAAAH!!! I’M BLIND!!!! Go away! No one told you that waving your dick in the face of someone was sexual harassment? I’m sexually harassed by Pixies! HELP!!!”


    Probably neither of the flight spoke any Bergian, or they just found Prof hilarious, because they started to laugh uncontrollably and flitted around even more. Prof had enough. He slid over to Mini, took her arm, and started to walk out of the town.


    “Oh, now you want me. You are such a bad boy!" Mini grinned and wiggled until Prof''s hand rested on her behind, and hers on his waist.


    She probably wanted to grab his ass too, but the backpack and an assortment of weapons were in the way. Prof''s idea for escaping the flying skin show worked. Kind of. They kept a few meters distance, but the verbal assault continued and they even started to pelt him with pebbles, acorns, and berries.


    “Yo, monkey! You are no fun!”


    “Yo, folks! Monkey have donkeys!”


    Half of the flock... murder... unkindness (what is a multitude of naked, xenophobic Pixies called?) descended on the poor donkeys. They pulled their ears and tails, poked them, and started to rummage through the baggage. When one of them found the Glitter Brandy, all hell broke loose – drinking the expensive booze made the Pixies literary vibrate, glow, and even more active.


    “You little shits! That’s robbery! Piss off!” Prof could not do anything but curse, even bitchslapping the little buggers would probably kill or seriously injure them, what he was warned about.


    “Actually, that is a good idea!” Foxy told him “Leave a few bottles of that here, if they drink it, they will fall asleep soon, and we can escape.”


    Grimly Prof retrieved two other bottles from Mini''s mount, put them on the ground, and shouted.


    “Yo, Glitters! Free booze!”


    With the Pixies now engaged in heavy drinking, they could leave the town without further problems.


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    “That was robbery! Extortion! Sexual harassment!" Prof puffed as they continued their journey.


    “No, that''s called Cultural Differences. One of the most revered ancestors of the Glitters invented that and argued that no one should or could be punished because he is living according to their cultural values. The Glitters adapted this philosophy really fast and living according to it ever since. It''s the Elven way not to tell other Elves what they should do." Foxy said


    “So robbing, extorting, and harassing folks is OK?"


    “Of course not. Doing that to other Elves is one of the greatest taboos in Elven society, and will earn you banishment from the Domain.” Shinead clarified


    “But they did it to me!”


    “Are you an Elf?”


    “No, but…”


    “See, you answered it yourself.”


    “But, but, but, that is speciesism!”


    “Yes, and? If you don’t like our laws, you can leave the Domain.”


    “Actually, that was what we were going to do. Go deeper into the Domain to leave on the other side. Oh, and since you owe me a blood debt, you will have to follow me, whenever I leave. What will you do, when you don’t like the Human laws?”


    “There are accidents waiting to happen.”


    The mood was shot dead and tossed into a ditch for the rest of the day.


    Prof realized that he didn''t like Elves. Not these violent, speciesist, xenophobic, arrogant Elves. Even Foxy, who could be described as a liberal because of her upbringing by someone from Forestdeep (as ironic that was, that someone from a might-makes-right country was regarded as a liberal in the Domain) had some deeply ingrained beliefs in Elven supremacy. Arkadia had a very strange take on the fantasy races: Dwarves had no beards, couldn''t drink alcohol, and weren''t the best smiths, and Elves didn''t live on trees and weren''t noble souls but speciesist assholes.


    Undead had flourishing estates in Forestdeep and could rule Humans without eating their brains or drinking them empty. What about the Greenskins? Orcs and Goblins, probably. Were they the cultured nobles with an even temper? He needed to ask Foxy about them, but first, he sulked a bit about the indignity of being a lesser species.


    The next day he finally approached Foxy for another lesson on Arkadian species.


    “I don''t know that much about them, Greenskins were never my specialty. As far as I know, they are a collection of races. I heard some theories, according to some individuals can evolve from one into the other or that the differences are only age-related stages, so who knows? From smallest to largest, there are Gremlins, Goblins, Hobgoblins, Orcs, and Ogres. I''m not sure but think either the Gobs or the Hobs are the leaders, the Gremlins are fodder, and the other two are stupid brutes. There are some elites in every race, called Redcaps, they say, if you see a Redcap, kill it fast or run away faster."


    “Do you remember the Battle of Stonebreak Gulch?” Mini asked, and when the other nodded, continued “That was a battle when I was little, between an Elven-Forestean-Dwarven coalition and the Greenskins up in the North. A Redcap Ogre was spotted there, one of the only four known sightings. Well, he broke a Dwarven Surface Infantry Legion, scattered a Gnoll Cavalry Detachment – that is the heaviest and best cavalry known on Arkadia, by the way – flattened a Pale Company – those are undead – and was only forced to retreat when my Duke and Duchess entered the battle. That is how dangerous Redcaps are."


    “Yeah, that was the most serious defeat in the last two hundred years.”


    “Hehe, that Ogre had an accident afterward” Shinead informed them “A lot of Reds died bringing that accident about. I met a squad leader a few years ago..”


    They continued to describe how Greenskins looked, and Prof was satisfied, that they looked like Earth-fantasy told it. The differences lay elsewhere.


    “Obviously, I''m so smart, I know more about Greenskins than you all!" Mini interrupted proudly "You know, one of our neighboring Estates was run by Greenskins, I learned some things from them! You see, there is no hereditary nobility with them, the smartest and best one is leading each community and trade. Mostly a Redcap, but not always."


    “Being a Redcap shows up on your Character Parchment, to disguise yourself as a Redcap without being one, is the most serious crime with them. Every community has three leaders, the… let''s call him the chief, who is delegated by the High Chief, but the local military leader, the general and the local civilian leader, the president are his advisors. At least two have to agree to make something happen."


    “There are castes… trades… guilds… sects… I don''t know the exact word, something along those lines, with differing prestige and influence. I was told that Gobs tend to be the leader in the civilian fields, while Hobs lead the military. No wonder, those two are the smartest, the Gobs are always thinking, tinkering, planning, and scheming. Our neighbor''s town was clean and ordered, every building a small fort on its own. I don''t know if they do it that way in the West, but the architecture was definitely unique, so I think they brought it with them."


    “Thank you, that was interesting.”


    Prof was cheated again on Arkadian species. From what he was told, he surmised that the Greenskins here were not the stupid and aggressive primitive savages, living in the dirt as Earth literature made them be, but some cultured race on the level of Humans. In all Earth fantasy, there were a few races Humans could look down on, but here?


    Humans were just one of many, without the possibility to be special – and could look down on Dwarves only, and even that because of the height difference. But maybe the Lizards were beneath Humans? Or other species on the other continents? He didn''t know anything about those, just that Sfingia was to the South and Chimeria somewhere in the East. He needed to know more.


    And more money to live an easy life without working hard.