Prof came to with a splitting headache and a roiling stomach. It took him hours and days – he felt like it was so long, but was probably only a couple of minutes – to be able to collect himself enough to survey the place he found himself in.


    His first realization was that he was completely naked.


    The second was that he was the occupant of a wooden cage.


    The third, that said cage was located in some kind of ruins. The architecture – that was visible beneath the foliage, debris, and refuse – was completely unfamiliar to him. Not that he has seen much of Arkadia''s architecture since he arrived. If was not a variance of peasant romantics, and neither was it Elven. For some reason, he was reminded of concrete emplacements from the last world war.


    The fourth was that he wasn''t alone. To his left, Bianca was crumpled in a heap (completely naked), and still out. In front of him, there were about half a dozen other cages, some with dead or dying animals, and to his right a completely naked and unknown guy, both Bianca and the guy in their own cage.


    Waaaait…


    A guy and not a female? How could that even be possible? Prof was for some strange reason used to find only girls laying around in mortal danger, not guys. Were guys even able to get into mortal danger so Prof could rescue them?


    But waaaait!


    If Prof was able to rescue the guy and he joined the party, Mini would have someone else to pester to have a good time, and would leave Prof alone! Yes! It was imperative to rescue the guy!


    But back to said guy.


    He was quite burly, and although he was sitting in his cage, Prof guessed, he was large too, probably somewhere around two meters. With green skin, jutting tusks, and a bald head he was the stereotypical fantasy orc. What did the girls tell him about Greenskins? Something about having a fetish for order and cleanness? Challenging higher Level foes?


    The guy looked at Prof expectantly, so he decided to be a Gentleman and introduce himself.


    “Good day, fellow prisoner. I’m called Prof, whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”


    “Day you too. Name Wolfgang Spielmeisterlieb Klavierspieler. Playing music in family. Family famous.”


    Oh yeah, there was no common tongue on Arkadia. Wolfgang''s Bergian was even worse than Sharpclaw''s, heavily accented and almost incomprehensible. However, it was still a wonder, that someone from the other side of the Domain and the Valley could even speak a little bit Bergian. Maybe he spoke Elvish too?


    “Would be talking in Elvish be better?” it was worth a try.


    “Me better in talk of master species. Me not like talk. Treesqueezer uninviting. Of track, you want to lie in talk of master species, me see spy to spy.”


    What?! That was even worse! The new guy was oversimplifying the nuances into misunderstandings. So let''s see… "Master Species" is one of the meanings for "Elf", others being "Old Species", "Important People" or "True Masters". "Treesquezer" was slang for non-Elves who were attracted to Elves. "Lie" was almost the same as "speak", and "spy" was another meaning for "eye". So probably the Orc was better in Elvish but did not like to speak in it, because he did not like folks, who were attracted to Elves. If Prof wanted to speak in Elvish, he would agree, however.


    Not happening.


    Prof did not want to analyze every last sentence for hidden, misunderstood, or mispronounced meaning, so they had to stay with Bergian. Crap, Foxy was the one who could speak Greenskinnian…


    “Where are we and who captured us? The hag? Why are we here to begin with?”


    “This the ruins of old Greenskin city of Dunkelwald. You right, evil old ladies prisoned me and you for food and breeding. Me searched old family relic. Why you here?”


    Oh, look, the standard hook of ancient ruins – probably full of valuable stuff – and another side quest for helping out someone doing something important! Prof was only alarmed by the "for food and breeding" part. Especially the breeding. The Brook Hag didn''t look like something he was comfortable breeding with. He haven''t seen Sharpclaw or Mini around, so they were surely free, and would arrive any moment to save Prof. Right? Right? It was after all their turn to save him! Right?


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    “My party and me were chasing a band of Grey Elves into the Valley for revenge. We have finished with that and were planning to leave here, when we were ambushed by a Hag. Some of my party were able to evade capture, so I’m sure, they will try to get me and Bianca there out. Do you have friends to attempt the same?”


    “No, my band dead. Some dead because of Valley, rest eaten and breeded. Me last.”


    “Look, Mister Klavierspieler, when my party comes, we can release you too. If you want, you can join us, and we can escape the Valley together. We are short of good fighters at the moment.”


    “No! Me can not leave Dunkelwald until me find family relic! Important for all Greenskins! Me comes here to become Redcap! No relic, me rather dead!”


    “Maybe we can help you with that too. What exactly are you looking for?”


    “Book. Ancestor of me family invented Greenskin music, in book original music, lost musics, lost versions of musics! Me bring back book, Greenskin music will reborn! Me will become Redcap!”


    “So, a collection of ancient songs? Why is that so important? Truly, after a millennium or two, your music would have changed."


    “Changed, yes. Not tru anymore. Not music the old heroes did, went soft! In book original music, Greenskins go back to tru music!”


    “Old heroes sung?”


    “Yes! ???????????? ??????????, ???????? ????????????????, ???????????????? ??????????????????????, ?????????????????? ??????????????, ???????????? ??????????????, ????????????????, ???????????? ??????????????, ?????????????????? ???? ????????????, ?????????????????? and all the others!”


    That was less helpful than Prof thought. He could name a few old Bergian heroes – even his low [Legends: Bergian] was enough for that – but he was completely clueless when it came to Elven or in this case Greenskinnian important dead people. All right, he at least hear of Fiona the Fast, but only because both Foxy and Shinead talked about her a lot. Long-dead Greenskins? Not a chance.


    “All right, but that doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t even know, what kind of music you folks play!”


    “Bestest music on all Arkadia! It’s called… how you say? Grey, hard stone? Hardest?”


    “Basalt? Granite? Diamonds?”


    “Yes! Granite! Music called Granite!”


    “What? How do you play on stone?!?”


    “Not on stone! Greenskins bestest, hardest species, Granite hardest stone, fits for name! Not can call it Clay, yes? Clay not hard, not fit hardest species!”


    Well, that was true. But why not call it something even harder?


    To be sure, Prof asked it.


    “The Old Heroes and family ancestor called it Stone, why look for something else? It’s Stone, but hardest Stone!”


    Yeah, never ask about the logic behind naming conventions. Someone might answer and you get a headache. Prof also didn''t get closer to the answer to the most important questions in all the multiverses: what kind of music were the Greenskins playing and why was the book so important? Of course, a millennia-old book would mean quite a cultural significance and would belong in a museum, that was clear. But where one legendary relic was, there should be others, and Prof was currently broke.


    That realization hit him like a brick. No, more likely a whole yard full of building material. All the stuff he plundered honestly and lawfully, gone! He even paid taxes! Why can''t a poor Central European have his riches? Why would some evil monster come and take away his property he worked hard for about four months?!? He was sweating blood! Well, not exactly sweating, but blood was flowing, some of it his.


    Maybe the Hag took his stuff too, and he would be able to re-liberate everything! He only needed to get out of the cage, defeat the Hag or Hags, and the very best thing of fantasy worlds – looting – would be in spitting distance!


    Mini and Sharpclaw would be coming soon, and he would be rich again!


    Surely, it would not take long.


    Any minute now.


    As it were, Bianca became conscious not long after. She was immediately conscious of her missing wardrobe too. Yes, she was a Prude, so waking up to a serious case of undress while having two involuntarily disrobed males in sight led naturally to distress, shouting, blushing, and dressing down said males.


    It was not Prof''s fault, that they were incarcerated in some cages in the middle of nowhere! Why was Bianca acting like he was some sexual predator? He wasn''t even ogling! He was sanitized by hanging around the Domain long enough, and the Elven chicks were – to be frank – a little bit… khmmm… more decorative. Even Mini was… khmmm… had a higher Charisma than Bianca. And she was a pushy, vulgar bloodsucker with serious mental issues. Well, when she wasn''t horny or trying to scandalize someone, she was actually fun to be around. Those few minutes per day…


    If anything, Bianca was the one ogling the boy toys next to her!


    But, to not aggravate the situation anymore, Prof and Wolfgang agreed to turn their backs to her. She did so in kind.


    That agreement unfortunately meant, that Prof now stared at Wolfgang''s naked back. He wanted to have those nice Elven ladies back. Or the cadavers in the other row of cages. Something! Anything! But please, no naked male Orc backside!