“Barely working? What do you mean?”


    “Pieces bad, bent. Me not know [Magic: Space-Time], not know [Repair: Metal], and others to repair array.”


    “All right, I can see, it isn’t looking like it probably should. What does it mean for us? Will it teleport us to a random location or not at all?”


    “No random location. Arrays have to be keyed to exact location. This goes to Burg Seeblickstein, castle on border of Valley, array brings us to castle or nowhere else.”


    “What is the problem then?”


    “Weight.”


    “Weight? As in?”


    “Yes, weight, as in how much array could transport in one go. Me not sure, but think, array will blow above one ton teleported.”


    “So, we have to do multiple ones to get everyone and everything out. I don’t see a problem with that. It just takes longer.”


    “Me don’t think, array will able to do more than one teleport. Recommend, stay below one ton.”


    “NOOOOoooooooo!" Of course, Prof haven''t asked the girls for their weights, it would have been rude, and no one did that and expected an honest answer anyways, but suspected the bipedal part of the party was not less than three to four hundred kilograms. Binky, though? How much did such a murder machine weigh? At a cursory look, maybe something in the order of five hundred, most likely not much below that.


    That meant, at best, they could move two hundred kilograms of equipment and loot, at worst only a hundred. Since there was no scale available, they would need to guess – not a good idea when the limit wasn’t exactly known, and the consequence of exceeding the limit was their transport blowing up. That sounded inconvenient. Painful. Maybe lethal.


    Prof wanted to cry. All that fine loot would have to be left behind! There was a chance, they couldn’t even move all of their current gear – Mini’s collection of clothing and knick-knacks was a prime candidate for too much weight. Prof came to a new world, and the first time he needed to use transportation that wasn’t leg-driven, a boarding examiner just told him, his luggage was too large or heavy to be transported without extra fees! Damn budget carriers – or in this case crappy budget teleportation providers!


    The well and tried method of just wearing as much clothing as possible to make room for the souvenirs wasn''t practical here: they had a limit on total weight, not the weight of the luggage. Excess clothing had to go! If Prof wasn''t so distracted by the possibility of abandoning the poor, traumatized lonely loot to itself, he probably wouldn''t have said that out loud in the presence of Mini.


    “YES! You are right! Strip, everyone!" Mini led by example, starting to shed her clothing. It only took a few seconds, she wasn''t wearing that much. As usual…


    “No, no, I literarily meant excess clothes, those we are not wearing. Look, I couldn''t live with myself if you got a cold because you were naked! Put the clothes back on!" Actually, it was August (of course, Arkadia never had a Roman Empire and an emperor named Augustus, so the month couldn''t have been named after him. The Elves called the month "Warmy", the Bergians "Sixth"), so it was impossible for anyone to get a cold, and it was highly unlikely, that an undead would get a runny nose even in the most severe blizzard. However, Prof had enough experience with Mini already to know, that even the most outrageous claim could be twisted into a sane outcome. Like her getting or remaining clothed. All it took was to make her feel important, appreciated, and cared for.


    Every psychiatrist would probably tell him, that was the exact wrong thing to do, but hey, it worked.


    “Wait!" the re-dressing somehow took more time than the de-dressing "You don''t mean that I would need to leave my precious behind?!? Do you dare?! Do you know how long it took me to collect everything?"


    “But, think about the weight! We could bring more gems and jewelry…"


    “No, Prof. No stupid stones and shitty jewelry is worth as much as my irreplaceable things!"


    “Look, Mini, we have a weight limit for the array, and we don''t know how much everything weighs, so we have to be very strict with what we take with us."


    “Of course, we know how much we weigh, the rest we can reasonably estimate."


    “What? How?”


    “It''s on the Character Parchments, dummy. Height, weight, natural and current hair, eye and skin color, sizes, everything is there."


    “You are joking! I haven’t seen anything like that!”


    “It''s right there on the front, where your Stats, Perks, and other values are listed. Gender, age, and species are the three characteristics that are displayed outright, you have to concentrate to see the rest. Usually, the three are enough as information, but the details are there nonetheless."


    “Why hasn''t anyone told me yet?!?"


    You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    “It is mostly uninteresting information, not many care about them, and that''s why they are hidden. Not to clutter up the Character Parchment."


    Prof concentrated, and indeed, every possible detail was listed. Including the length and diameter of his… khmmm… one of his most precious (and on Arkadia, more-or-less as yet unused) organs. Oh, there was even the weight of his current equipment listed.


    Prof himself was 81 kilograms and had equipment totaling another 18. A quick count revealed that not counting Binky and its trappings, they were at around four hundred kilograms already. If the scorpionlizard wasn''t excessively overweight, they could take even some loot with them.


    “All right. How will we know, how heavy Binky and the gear on it are? It doesn''t have a Character Parchment to list the exact measures." It was time for brainstorming!


    “Prof, you have been around Binky for a long time. Haven''t you figured out, that he is a good boy? Calling him it is insulting! And rude! And, and, and, what is that word for being insensitive?"


    “Word you looking for is insensitive.” Wolfgang helpfully supplied.


    “Yes, that too!”


    “Sorry… So, how will we know how heavy he is?”


    “Quite easy, I will check on my Character Parchment. Since he is my mount, I can view his values.”


    So much for brainstorming. Prof almost expected, they would need to come up with a homemade scale, where they put a set amount of water into buckets until Binky was lifted off the ground. Or something like that. Mini''s solution was actually much easier. However…


    “If you could do that, why haven’t you told us so already?”


    “Where would be the fun in it? The others probably already knew, being able to view your pet’s values is a well-known fact. Even folks who grew up in a cave should know it.”


    “You just made fun of me? That’s just cruel!”


    “Of course not! This was a valuable lesson, if you haven’t figured out the right questions or facts, we would have told you, maybe in an hour or two. Right?”


    “I decline to participate in this conversation," Bianca said with a smile.


    “Missster funny!”


    “Learning lessons is very important. Helps with raising Skills."


    Traitors, traitors all around.


    “So, Mini, how much does Binky, including trappings and your stuff weigh?"


    “Good, question, Prof! According to the Character Parchment I can access because Binky is my pet, the combined weight is almost exactly five hundred kilograms." Was Mini trying to disguise herself as a teacher? She had the tone down, but the overall picture was marred by her usual skimpy clothes and the lack of glasses. If she got glasses, she could star as a teacher in those films, however…


    “So, nine hundred kilograms so far. How certain are you, that the array will blow above one ton but not below?" Prof asked Wolfgang. It was quite a difference if they could go up to a ton or had to keep a safety margin. A difference of potentially tens of thousands of Earth-currency.


    “Me almost certain, the array will blow around a ton. No way to tell exact limit."


    Damn. That meant a safety margin. Was five percent enough, or should they rather be on the safe side and go for ten?


    “What do you think, guys? What kind of reserve should we keep?”


    “Go for the whole ton! What could possibly go wrong?”


    “Me think no going much above nine hundred, keep below nine-fifty.”


    “Yes, I agree, we should stay between nine and nine-half.”


    “Misssster the bosssss. Sharpclaw doessss what bossss sssaysss.”


    Disregarding an Irresponsible Vampire and a subservient Kobold, the consensus seemed to point to keep a healthy margin.


    “All right. We should aim for something around nine hundred twenty-five. Mini, please go through your stuff. Please, discard everything you deem replaceable and unimportant. Yes, I know, they are your irreplaceable precious thingies, but there should be things that are less-than-irreplaceable. Please, I know, you can be generous and not cling to unimportant stuff."


    That was actually a good try. On Earth, he probably would have convinced his ex-girlfriend not to take the hair dryer and a large suitcase for an overnight stay. His [Convincing] on Arkadia, however, was only at 80%, which was more-or-less insufficient for a Vampire who really liked her stuff…


    In the end, Mini only found less than a kilogram worth of items she was comfortable leaving behind. Who would have thought?


    That meant, Prof had to look for the most valuable stuff for the limited margin they still had. What was there?


    Without a thought, he emptied Foxy''s Belly Bag of Holding the collected animal parts, they were taking up to much space for an unknown reward.


    Simple currency was immediately out, even their own coins would be left behind, save for a few silver for each. Metal coins simply weighed too much for their value.


    Mundane jewelry had the same problem, albeit less. Magical jewelry was much more valuable. Out went his collected emergency reserve – he only kept the ring he found in the Dire Wolf''s den all those months ago, and a few pieces he wanted to convert into a lucky charm. Hopefully, the Greenskins could help with that, the Elves weren''t willing or able to make one. Of course, he kept the game pieces from the dungeons. If there wasn''t a quest system on Arkadia, but he did receive a quest to collect them, they were probably more valuable or important than the first look would suggest.


    After some thinking, Prof decided to strike any extra magical weapon and armor too, including the stuff from the Elves. Too much volume. He kept his few trinkets, however. He even debated leaving their hodgepodge armor collection behind, but since he didn''t know what to expect from the Greenskins, he kept them in the end.


    By throwing away ballast, he freed up another twenty kilograms or so.


    It was time to look for the most valuable, lightest stuff to plunder.