What does a service entrance for the sewers of a medieval city look like? Rusty iron gates, half submerged in Human waste, fully caked in said waste from the times when an unusual amount of water was flushed down. The whole installation stinking to the high heavens.


    What does the entrance look like in medieval Greenskins lands? The same, without rust, waste, and stink but housed in a bunker-like structure, decorated with useless tympanums and colorful flowers, probably with signs and charts affixed to the door. Asking to wipe your feet before entering and don''t use open flames.


    Or so Prof thought.


    He was wrong.


    Even Greenskins weren''t so excellent to plant flowers and signs next to a sewer entrance. Neither have they built a full-blown bunker above it – it was, after all, a sewer entrance and not the Atlantic Wall. But then again, if you were into bunkers, and built ones above wells, why not for sewers?


    The structure Prof and Wolfgang faced was a small shed with a simple wooden door. Which coincidentally sported a heavy chain and padlock. Was their plan failing even before it truly began? Were they defeated by a rickety door with a chain and lock?


    “There is no key anywhere to be seen” Wolfgang checked the door and even a conveniently placed dying potted plant “I don’t think, we have a high enough [Lockpicking] to pick the lock. Or any lockpicks in the first place.”


    “Hah! Who needs [Lockpicking] or lockpicks, when you have a thousand points in kick-a-door-in? Step aside!”


    “You do know, there is no such Skill as kick-a-door-in?”


    “Who knows? There are a lot of idiotic other Skills too. Anyway, I have 14 in Strength, that should be enough." Prof aimed a powerful kick at the door, hoping, it would disintegrate in the face of his overwhelming might. He had no such luck.


    “Ah, I see!” Wolfgang deadpanned. “This is the might of placing Skill Points worth dozens of Levels into kick-a-door-in. A truly magnificent sight! Or was it the unprecedented power of Strength 14? Could you repeat your feat? I would like to make notes so I can make recommendations to all of Greenskinkind.”


    That was sooo funny! Prof had to reign his urge to laugh uncontrollably. In the end, he managed it. Barely.


    No, not really. He was rather fuming and angry at the Evil Door of Denying Access. He tried again – this time not delivering a strong kick, but took a few steps back to collect momentum, and rammed the door with all his around hundred kilograms of anger at speed.


    “You know, you could make a career out of this. Running against hard surfaces, bouncing back, and making a funny expression. I think, there are people, who would pay money to see this."


    Wolfgang was indeed a Wiseass. Almost Cruel. Strangely, this facet of his personality wasn’t so obvious previously. Maybe he was dealing with mortal danger in this way?


    However, Prof wasn’t prepared to be defeated by a simple door, no matter how hard it tried to deny access to the first sewers he heard of on Arkadia. Unfortunately for the door, Prof possessed the natural predators of anything wooden.


    No, not termites. Axes.


    Just a few hits later, the door lay defeated on the floor, breathing its last breaths. Assuming, it had lungs, which it did not. Most likely, but Prof wasn''t exactly well versed in the anatomy of doors. Be as it may, the way was now clear. Inside the shack, there were a few shelves with different tools and about a dozen shovels leaning against the walls. In the middle of it, there was a manhole, covered by a hinged trap door.


    Fortunately, it wasn’t locked.


    Beneath the trap door, a wooden ladder lead into the darkness, which was bad. Although Prof invested in a few different lamps and lanterns, some he even could affix to his helmet so both his hands would be free, all of them were safely tucked away in his room. He simply hadn''t expected to need them at the concert or on the way back to the city. He would have to remedy that oversight later. Even if he went to get groceries, he would lug around the whole expeditionary gear. Who knows, when the next riot, zombie apocalypse, or armageddon would surprise him again while doing absolutely mundane things?


    Maybe he should invest in some kind of inflatable raft too?


    Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.


    As it was, the sewers were dark, and they did not have any sources of light with them.


    Fortunately, however, Prof was a semi-professional looter and scavenger, and he was able to find a few candles well hidden in plain sight on the shelves. Truly, without his Skill and Perk, he wouldn''t be able to accomplish such a feat! On the other hand, it was quite likely, that someone with a very low [Looting] indeed wouldn''t have picked up the candles. It was a Skill, after all, describing exactly what someone could do. The numbers were the objective measurement of the knowledge someone possessed. Nothing more, nothing less.


    Prof wondered for a moment if someone with a lower Skill wouldn''t even notice stuff lying around, or just leave it there because of "reasons"?


    Climbing down the ladder, Prof was surprised by the sewers. For some reason, he expected cavernous passages, caked with refuse, and a river of wastewater flowing in the middle. Maybe hordes of rats and other muck-dwelling creatures. Not that he really ever saw sewers in his past life in person, the closest he came to wastewater drainage was as a kid when his street got canalization – and even those pipes were less than one meter in diameter. If he remembered correctly.


    The reality of Greenskin sewers was nothing like his expectations. First, it was barely one and a half meters in diameter, forcing both Prof and Wolfgang to bend over – even so, Prof knocked his head into the roof every time he moved. Since Saugarten had less, than ninety thousand inhabitants, a larger diameter was probably not necessary. Secondly, the walls were surprisingly clean. Cleanish. Cleaner than one would expect from a subterranean drain, built to convey excrement and dirty… liquids. The whole installation had a well-maintained feel.


    Not counting the ankle-deep sludge flowing along lazily. There was no gangway on either side. Prof was grateful, he changed out of his Blue Suede Shoes of Getting Laid into his normal combat boots, but even so, he missed having rubber boots. Preferably reaching up to his hips. Cleaning his boots would be a chore. Wolfgang was even less lucky, his snakeskin boots would most likely be ruined after their trek.


    Prof brought up his Mental Map, checking, if the above-ground map, which he filled up nicely in the last month, would translate to the subterranean structures. It did, more or less. While the sewers did not show up – after all, he hadn''t explored them – the map did show his location, projecting it onto ground level. Prof didn''t expect huge problems in navigating to Wolfgang''s place, Saugarten was laid out in an easy-to-follow way. Most likely the sewers followed the main roads too.


    That meant they would need to travel about three kilometers in a straight line, and then find a side tunnel to the left, travel another few hundred meters, and take a right. If they made good time, Prof calculated less than an hour wading through sewer fluids. Almost an hour! Not counting another hour to get out of the city! Most likely he would need to throw out all his gear; he doubted, it would be possible to get rid of the stench and the filth. What a waste! It was almost new and definitely expensive! The party was as good as broke as it was. Broke, not counting the gems, they couldn''t find a buyer for…


    Was it possible for someone with high [Washing] to save the stuff? What would that cost?


    While Prof reflected on the shitty situation he found himself in (again), they indeed made good time. Accompanied by a clinging sound every few steps, when Prof banged his helmet against the sewer’s roof and a few grunts, when Wolfgang did the same, but without any cowering for his head. What Prof noticed was the complete absence of any blockades or accumulated islands of crap. That was strange. If he remembered the news correctly, a few huge cities had to call in the army to destroy extensive blockages.


    “Say, Wolfgang. How comes the sewers are so clean and maintained? I would expect walls covered in filth, rats, and barely passable sections."


    “It is thanks to the Re-Education Brigades. They aren''t just sent to the mines, but to the sewers too. Hard work brings out excellence. Without being excellent, you aren''t a true Greenskin! Maintaining the sewers in a pristine condition helps you get over not being excellent."


    At least the Greenskins invented an ideology for the acquisition of a free workforce. How excellent the whole species was, and how much energy they expended to become excellent, the ideology probably worked. If for nothing else, for people being afraid to break rocks or clean the sewers for no payment.


    In the end, it took them almost two hours to reach Wolfgang’s home. The delay was mostly because of the awkward position they had to walk – the sewers were built with the understanding, that Goblins would be the ones to clean and maintain it – and also, because they got slightly lost. No, not exactly lost, since with Prof’s high [Navigation] and his Perks he knew literally exactly, where they were. If you know exactly where you are, and where other places are in relation to you, you can’t be lost. Right?


    The problem was to find the right sewer to get from one exactly known point to another exactly known position. As they found out, the sewers weren''t exactly conforming to the city grid, and in some places – accidentally in the exact places, where they had to make turns – the tunnel''s size decreased to just a crawling place. Or were walled up. Since neither of them found the idea of crawling through other people''s wastewater excellent, they had to make a few detours.


    Even so, they had to exit the sewers a corner away from Wolfgang’s flat.


    It was almost midnight by this time, but the party was still ongoing. Happy campfires burning, Greenskins dancing with each other while singing songs. Actually, the campfires were made out of barricades erected from unlucky stalls and "borrowed" furniture. There were a few odd houses on fire too, but those were in the minority, almost concrete wasn''t flammable. The dancing was made with weapons in hand. The singing, though, was real. "Riot music" took on a new meaning with different lone singers and bands playing a selection of Clay, Granite, and Mythrill. To judge from the volume, the mythrillheads were winning – they were louder than everyone and everything else.


    Why the Greenskins did everything with musical support, Prof couldn''t understand. Rioting with free and loud music at least looked like more fun than doing it in silence. He hoped, Mini could reign herself in and wasn''t participating somewhere. That could lead to problems down the line.


    More problems than playing a part in causing a riot, anyway.