“So, let’s get this straight. There are two heavily armed and armored guards in front of the gate?” Prof asked Mini to clarify the situation


    “Yes”


    “What Level?”


    “At least Level 10, but at most Level 15.”


    “And there is no cover between them and the forest?”


    “No, there aren’t even any shadows or such.”


    “All right, folks. I think, we should it do this way: Sharpclaw is going for a frontal assault, after that, Bianca charges in from the side, while I stay back and provide covering fire. Do you agree?”


    “Yessss.”


    “Shouldn’t I lead the charge? My Warhog is better than her whatsitsname.”


    “Raptor. But you get a bonus against already engaged enemies and she doesn’t.”


    “Oh, right.”


    “So, this is how you want to do it?” Mini asked


    “Yes!” all three agreed.


    “All right, roll for initiative!”


    It was the day after their quest on the weapon-testing range, and Mini finally got them to play a simulation game – or RPG, as Prof knew them. The party was currently located in the supposedly fictional city of Novigrad, deep in the Halitchian Empire, and was hired by a kind, elderly necromancer to rescue his daughter (a beautiful Zombie alchemist) from the evil clutches of a deplorable sect, that was trying to wipe out innocent undead. Mini, as the Game Master, was maybe a little bit biased.


    Sharpclaw was playing as a Lizardman Outrider (allegedly one of the Reptile’s main shock troops), Bianca as a Goblin Hograider, while Prof rolled himself a Half-Elf Archer with secondary Skills in battle chi (to bolster his archery) and fire magic. The biggest problem with their carefully engineered characters was that they weren’t Halitchians – or at least Humans. While the Elves in the Domain could at least sometimes tolerate non-Elves, and just fleeced most, without kicking out too many teeth, in the Halitchian Empire non-Humans weren’t considered sapient and were actively hunted or enslaved.


    Mini failed to inform them, where the campaign was located – probably by mistake, but more likely, because she was Cruel. Not, that Prof or Sharpclaw would have been helped by that information much.


    The game was actually fun, even with Mini sometimes being an ass as the Game Master. Well, it was a simulation and not strictly a game. As Mini told him – and which Bianca seconded – the whole thing was played to test possibilities and get kids used to the System, and teach them, the world wasn’t nice. Providing fun was just secondary or tertiary.


    In the end, they were able to rescue the damsel in distress, burn the sect’s headquarters to the ground, collect a lot of loot, and make an enemy of the local noble. Prof’s character somehow even got himself “romantically involved” with the rescued girl. It was agreed, they would continue next week.


    Prof was curious, who would excuse themselves because something important came up?


    The next day it was time for a quick run in a nearby dungeon – even if they had some money currently, a little bit extra for the running costs wasn''t a bad thing to have. It was actually Mini, who chose that particular three-floor dungeon, so to teach something to Prof. That was because the main Monsters of the dungeon: Humans.


    “Why are you so surprised?” Mini asked him “Because the monsters are Humans? Prof, your very first dungeon was populated by undead! I fail to see the difference. What does it change, if the monsters are plants, animals, undead, humans, or, say, mushrooms? The MOB is the MOB, no matter if it is a cute bunny or a sexy Human! You kill everything for loot! Besides, we are here in Greenskin lands, so locals don''t care if the MOB consists of Humans. I think, there is even a dungeon with Goblins as the main MOB somewhere here, and the locals don''t care."


    Well, Mini was right for once. Surely, some people would be offended even with plants or animals as the main MOB, and why should a dungeon care about the sensibilities of the visitors? They could neither sue nor besmirch dungeons on social media. So, why should a dungeon care?


    The entrance to the dungeon sported the usual artistically designed area, this time it resembled a stone-age camp for hunters and gatherers: dilapidated hide tents, a fire pit, and some constructions made out of branches.


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    The obligatory door to the dungeon proper was actually just a greasy hide hung in front of the cave. Either the dungeon had a very bad opinion of Humans, or was deliberately going for the stone-age feel. Or, the dungeon was so old that humans were barely better than monkeys when it started to use the new species.


    But again, a few millennia should be enough time to get more than three floors, no?


    Absolutely surprisingly, the dungeon was styled as a cave – there wasn''t much choice if one was built underground. The result was either a cave, a crypt, or a shelter. The dungeon in question went the cave-way and styled it as a dwelling: open firepits, primitive structures made out of wood and hides, and a lot of primitive Humans, waving bone- and stonetipped weaponry around. Or throwing them. The whole setup was probably a wet dream for an Enthnographer, researching ?tzi''s culture. Even if said mountain corpse was from the Copper, and not from the Stone Age.


    The very first room was actually a cavern, without stalagmites, stalactites, and other wonderful cave-specific formations, save for some cages, holding wolves or dogs. Apparently, the dungeon chose an evolutionary period, where the Humans started to degenerate proud wolves into useless, overbred lapdogs, but haven''t made much inroads yet. The "dogs" present were still mostly "wolves". All six were set on the party by their handlers, the latter using shitty short bows to provide covering fire.


    Bianca was able to block three of them, although she managed only to defend, not attack. Prof, on the other hand, was in his element; happily hacking heads with the intent of Critical Hits. A long time passed since his first Dire Wolf, and these weren''t the "Dire" variation and were lower Level. Or, Prof just got that awesome. After he finished the other wolves, threatening their designated Wall, he surveyed the battlefield.


    Ehm, Battlecave.


    The aftermath of the slaughter. Either way, the two handlers were nailed by crossbow bolts, courtesy of Mini. What Sharpclaw did, Prof couldn''t ascertain, in fact, he couldn''t even see the Kobold. Which meant, she was still using [Stealth], as she used to, even in everyday life. Prof almost got a few heart attacks, when Sharpclaw suddenly appeared next to him in an empty room. It was kind of disturbing – how could someone hide in an almost empty room? It was probably because of some magical shenanigans.


    The guide, they got from the Guild was exhaustive, for the first room it said, the loot consisted of dog hides, a few useful dog parts (mostly meat), soiled loincloths, crappy weapons a few bone trinkets. It was commonly agreed, the loot came up to a sum of only a handful of coppers. However, a handful of coppers was still a handful of coppers, enough to feed the three of them for a day or two. If the food for their mounts and Mini was included, it was less, but still something. Every little bit helped.


    Of course, they plundered the cavern to the last tooth. Actually, one of the bone knives was actually quite nice, with stags and plants carved into it. The knife went into the imaginary "keep" pile, right next to the dogmeat. It was free feed for their mounts and themselves – and most food in Ostwaldland was dog too. Those barbarians didn''t know, what they were missing in pork!


    The second room could be described as the common room, with most firepits and constructions being located there – including most of the tribe. There were four hunters with spears, another two hunters with the crappy shortbows, and two wood-hunters with stone axes. This battle was marginally more difficult, the cavemen actually had useful Skills and were able to use rudimentary tactics. That, and they were something like Humans, and so Prof did have some problems. Even after all this time, he wasn''t mentally prepared to kill other Humans, even if they were just the MOB of a dungeon.


    Being in mortal danger – all right, in a marginally unsafe environment – helped to overcome his blockade. Even if the cavemen had numerical superiority, and were close to their Levels (this time, Prof didn''t forget to use [Observe], most of the primitives were at Level 5), they had crappy weapons, that were mostly unable to penetrate their armor. As for armor, they had almost nothing – the few scraps of fur and hide most likely couldn''t even called proper armor. At least, nothing a well-aimed Chopper or Armorbane couldn''t obliterate, including the squishy flesh underneath. This time, Sharpclaw did what she was best in: sneaking up to folks, and stabbing them in the back. She was getting more proficient in that field every day.


    The guide listed a little bit better loot for this room, but it still wasn''t much to write home about. Not a great surprise, that Stone Age cultures haven''t invented metal currency, metal jewelry, or other metal stuff after all, and processed animal parts had only just so much value. Even if they could look nice. Just to make sure, Prof looked through the whole room again, and indeed, his Scavenger sense started tinkling at an unassuming crevice at the back. Inside the crevice, hidden under some rocks, there was a tribal necklace, made of string and a collection of different, unknown teeth.


    It was even magical!


    In a game, finding a lost necklace in an unlikely place (most likely on the other side of the map) would have been an irritating side quest, with only a mug of beer as a reward, here, he didn''t even get something to drink, just a primitive piece of jewelry.


    A primitive piece of magical jewelry, to be concrete.


    They only had to find a mage to identify it. And most likely a wealthy idiot to take it off their hands. They still had to sell all those magical clothing and armor they collected back in the Valley, another unsellable piece was just increasing the ballast, they hauled around.


    The third room was rather a collection of smaller rooms or alcoves, probably as the approximation of individual bedrooms. There weren’t any traps – or valuable loot – hidden away, only little assassins, jumping them with bone or stone knives when they least expected them. Those mini-assassins were actually a cruel move from the dungeon. Killing kids, even if they were MOB in a dungeon, wasn’t just done easily. Wonder why common dungeons always used adult versions of everything. And not using Humans.


    Prof, at least, was understandably upset.


    “Good, lesson learned." Mini entered her teacher mode "Don''t forget, even a kid can stick a knife in your back, shoot a crossbow, or simply rob you. Never underestimate the little buggers, they have even less control than an adult, and if you hesitate, you are dead just the same."


    That advice was cruel. True, but cruel nevertheless. Prof could live without killing off brats, even if he was now living in a backward world with different morals and slack laws and law enforcement. What would or could a true villain do in such a world?


    Luckily, he wasn’t a villain, he just wanted to get rich and see the sights!