Soon, it was time for the farewell party. Wolfgang and the band never indicated they wanted to leave their country – in fact, they planned to join the Mythrill faction in order to bring even more music to even more people. And bash folks over the head with axes and clubs, Adeltraut used as drumsticks, who didn’t like the idea.


    Probably the excellent way, Greenskins did everything, had culturally ingrained rules, how and when bashing heads could be done, but Prof saw the whole thing in a different light. In a civil war, the winner was the part, who controlled a larger part of the army, could feed the army, and could kill more of the opposite side''s army, not the one with the better music.


    Having magic, and music, that carried the magic complicated things a little bit – however, even the best musician wouldn''t survive long against a squadron of Hog Raiders.


    Most likely.


    Levels, Skills, and Perks probably had something to say too.


    Anyways, at least around Sumpfigerort, it looked like the army''s majority (and the Adventurers and most of the general populace) was firmly on the Mythrill-faction''s side. With enough armed and armored troops, Wolfgang''s faction had quite a good chance to convince everyone else, that Mythrill was indeed the better kind of music.


    The party was held in a tavern, Mythrillhead booked for the night. Wolfgang found a Goblin, who had good Skills and Perks in… something, that let him organize events, and promote bands and who had contacts with other musicians, breweries, taverns, and the army. He even hired a new main singer – a big Orc with the name of Werner.


    The music wasn''t provided by Prof''s friends, but by a few other, novice bands – Mythrillhead wanted to spend time with the soon-to-be away party. The new bands were a mixed lot. Some were clearly experienced, with (probably) high Levels with good Skills and Perks, but relatively new to the latest fashion, while others were… novices to say it politely. Even the… initiates played with boundless enthusiasm, but as it usually was, enthusiasm didn''t substitute skill fully. Especially, if the Skills weren''t there either.


    Even Prof, who was quite tone deaf could hear those false riffs, off-key singing, and missed pacing, Wolfgang, and particularly Theodor visibly flinched a few times. Well, Mythrill was still quite new, and for some reason mostly beginners took up the axe.


    Some even experimented.


    Prof wasn''t exactly sure if Arkadia was ready for Massacre Doom or Undead Gore. It was strange, that there were three undead in Sumpfigerort, who were also musicians and took to Mythrill like… well, worms to corpses. On the other hand, Greenskins had the same right to become undead as every other species, and musicians were as prone to un-die as other professions. The Undead were actually one of the better bands, and Deadian was quite a good language to sing something hard and heavy in.


    Not, that Prof understood a word. Mini, on the other hand, was ecstatic.


    “This is hardcore! Yeah! I LOVE THIS! I LOVE YOU!" she fished a panty out of her bag and threw it on the stage. Obviously, she came prepared – however, normal females probably wore the panties, and had to wiggle out of them in the middle of the crowd, but since it was Mini… It was surprising, she had panties at all.


    Oh, wait, she had quite a collection of underwear but was saving them for special occasions. Or something. At least she did know, what underwear was for, and wore them sometimes. Mostly without other pieces of clothing, and mostly in the most inopportune situations.


    Just to be sure, everyone was watching her, so she wouldn''t dance more-or-less naked (even showing knees!) on a table or such. Giving attention to a narcissistic person was less of a problem than letting a narcissistic and sociopathic Vampire seek attention.


    Just as they left the bar after a night of excellent(ish) music, excellent, but still too sweet wine, truly excellent hot food, and having excellent fun, they and Mythrillhead were stopped by a mixed-species armed company.


    “Freeze! You are under arrest for instigating a revolt and being un-excellent!" the gang''s boss declared. They didn''t exactly look like constables or soldiers, for that matter.


    “Hey, do I know you? You look quite familiar!” Prof asked. “Aren’t you the guys, who wanted to shake down the beer-sellers at the concert?”


    “No, we aren’t those. So, freeze, and be placed under arrest!”


    “No, no, I’m quite certain, you are those thugs.”


    “You are right, Prof. These are the bandits you made to strip in front of me!”


    “You made so many people strip and didn’t inform me?! You left me out of an epic orgy?!? You are evil!”


    “No, miss, we definitely aren’t those guys!”


    “Clawssss on ballssss.” Sharpclaw flexed her claws threateningly.


    “Please no!”


    “Good to meet you folks again, anyways. If I’m not mistaken, you still owe us money. And interest for the money, plus a lump sum for late payment. That would come to fifteen Schillinge total. How do you intend to pay?”


    “That''s outrageous! That''s more than you fined us in the first place… Ehmm… you fined the guys, who aren''t us. You even took our… ehmmm… their gear!"


    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    “Boss, do we arrest them now? Or should we beat them up?”


    “Since you want to arrest us, you are obviously constables. Care to show us your badges and the arrest warrant?” Wilhelm asked.


    “What, do you think, you are a lawyer or something?”


    “Actually, I’m a lawyer, sanctioned by and a member of the Thieves’ not-Guild in Saugarten, and also acknowledged by the local branch. So, badges and warrants?”


    “Ehhhmmm… We don''t have either, but we were hired by the honorable not-Guildmaster to make a citizen arrest!"


    “There isn''t a citizen arrest in Ostwaldland, just so you know. What you are trying to do is kidnap citizens. You aren''t even doing it right. Let''s see. You tried to pose as constables, which is a crime. You also tried to infringe on the Thieves'' not-Guild''s territory, by trying to kidnap people. Legally, we could beat you up, and hand you over to either to the constabulary or the Thieves'' not-Guild, and sue you for damages suffered!"


    Maybe Prof shouldn’t hire some kind of mage, but a lawyer to travel with them. Suing random Dire Wolves, Trolls and Slimes was probably easier, than beating them up. Every bywaymen would run for the hills as soon as Prof pulled a fearsome lawyer out of his pocket!


    “Wait! We can beat them up legally?" Of course, Mini picked the most important thing out of the legal counsel. "Can we feed them to Binky? The poor boy hadn''t had a good meal in forever! Gremlins just have too much fat, the poor darling is almost round already!"


    Having a balanced diet was important, even for five hundred-kilo scorpionlizards.


    “Oh, I know! We could kidnap them, and have an orgy!”


    “No, Miss Minerva, not happening!”


    “I don’t think, the law works that way…”


    “Appropriating random passers-by for recreational copulation presuppose a permission of the Pleasure Providers'' not-Guild, and presumably a notification to the Thieves'' not-Guild, if the abduction isn''t done with the mutual endorsement."


    “Wolfgang is right. We could beat them up, but can’t snatch them for a quick orgy.”


    “You are all spoilsports. All right, let’s beat the bandits up!”


    “Ehhmm… Miss… Could we just forget, we ever saw each other? We would be on our way.”


    “Boss, can we go back to Fallaria? These Greenskins are crazy! You said, working as mercenaries would be easier, than banditry. So far we have been robbed once!”


    “Yeah, Boss! We should go back to highway robbery! Maybe we could be hired by a toll station, if you want to do legal work. This mercenary stuff isn’t for us!”


    “WHAT?!? You idiots think this is honest mercenary work?!?!" For some reason, Bianca lost her cool "I will tell you, being a mercenary is a glorious career! You see new countries, meet interesting people, can participate in battles! Those are sometimes even legendary! What you cretins do isn''t even adventurer work!"


    “Ah yeah, lady? You are the authority on mercenaries and adventurers, or what?!?”


    “Oh, yeah! I’m a veteran mercenary and an adventurer!”


    “Boss, please stop antagonizing the nice people we planned to abduct!"


    “So, are we beating them up or what?”


    “Wait a second, Mini. Let’s be civil. So, mister Bandit Boss, do we need to beat you up, or you are willing to give us the money, you owe us without a fuss? Unlike the last time, the starved and unhinged Vampire is with us.”


    “We have a starved and unhinged Vampire? Who is it? Bianca? Sharpclaw? I don’t think, they are Vampires. Adeltraut, are you secretly a Vampire?”


    Truly, even Mini couldn’t be that oblivious! Oh, wait…


    “No, Mini, Adeltraut isn’t a Vampire. We have only one. You.”


    Here it comes.


    “Me? Unhinged? I’m just Sociopathic, Cruel, Unscrupulous, and Bloodthirsty! I’m not unhinged!”


    “Dear bandits, let me introduce you to our Vampire. So, get beaten up and hand over your valuables afterward, or simply hand over your valuables? What shall it be?"


    Even if they had rehearsed, it wouldn''t have gone better. They certainly haven''t rehearsed the performance. Prof was even prepared to sue everyone, who spread such false allegations – after all, they had a lawyer, two carnivorous mounts, and a Vampire with… unorthodox… moral values to make the evidence disappear.


    Either being polite worked better, than expected, or having to face nine heavily armed adventurers and musicians while having only seven on their side let the thug’s survival instinct kick in. Maybe having to face an unhinged Vampire, who boosted her [Intimidation] to the next continent had some influence too.


    No, it was definitely politeness.


    In the end, the tugs handed over all of their cash – barely two schillinge and some pocket change – and their better weapons and armor. Neither was worth much, in Earth terms, they were equivalent to the cheap African copy of a cheap Chinese copy of some cheap crap, sold at Tesco or Walmart. Most of the gear Prof even gave back to the thugs, since they were so worthless. Probably they would have to pay someone to get rid of that garbage.


    “This isn’t over yet!” yelled the thug’s boss. He wasn’t a complete moron, he did the yelling from the next corner.


    “See, Mini, you can achieve everything by being polite even to random thugs.”


    “I think, my solution would have been better. Beating up bandits is good exercise and free meals.”


    “I agree with Miss Minerva in this regard.”


    “Yessss. Sssstabbing ssssolvesss problemssss.”


    “Prof, my friend, being polite works only as long, as you are in the majority and have higher Levels.”


    “Actually, appropriating their tools of craft could be considered hindering and preventing. If they find a good lawyer, you will have problems. If they had attacked first, it would have been self-defense, and we would have been in the right."


    “Aww, guys, don’t be so bloodthirsty! We are civilized folks, in a civilized city of a very excellent country. Just beating up innocent bandits isn’t excellent!”


    “Can we at least kill them off next time?”


    “Sure, why not.”