(From Blue''s Perspective)


    My head hurt a lot when I woke up. My stomach was not as sore as it had been, but I could not still move around freely. Everything felt ufortable. My own body felt foreign, as if it was not my body at all.


    The room was pitch-ck. But that did not make it hard for me to know where I was. I was back in Querencia, in my bedroom.


    "You need to eat something."


    I was not even the least surprised to find my husband sitting beside me, rubbing my forehead. I somehow knew he would be here, just like always.


    "Ok...," I mumbled as I snuggled up to him.


    He used the bell in our room to summon the maids. He imed it was verymon in a noble''s bedroom, but he despised it and did not have one in his. Besides, he said that he could call them with his mind anyway. But now, since I was here and I could notmunicate with my mind like them, he installed it back again.


    Two maids along with Ruby came running. "Ah, Your Highness is awake," Ruby said breathlessly.


    "Bring her dinner here," Dem said.


    "Yes, Your Highness..."


    "Dinner?" I repeated, looking at him. It was nighttime when I fell unconscious after taking the medicine the doctor had given me because he could not lessen the pain in my stomach. But how was now nighttime too?


    "You were out for three days," he exined. "The doctor predicted that you would be unconscious for at least one day, but you have only just awoken three dayster."


    "Ah, I see...," I muttered. "But what happened to me? And what about those two? Did you catch them?"


    "I handled everything. You don''t need to be concerned," he said.


    "... And what happened to me?"


    "... You are safe now."


    To be honest, I did not need to ask him to know what happened to me. That kind of stomach pain- I would be stupid to not know the reason. Still, I wished someone would tell me I was mistaken.


    "The..."


    "You had a miscarriage," he said. "It was forced. They gave you some kind of medicine that caused it."


    "... I see..."


    I did not know what to feel. I had never seen the child and I was only one month pregnant. There was not much of an attachment that formed between us. But I felt nkness inside me hearing it.


    The feeling was dry and shallow, but it was enough to confuse me. I sighed and hugged him tighter, searching for sce in his warmth.


    "... Do you want to hear what the doctor said?"


    "Hmm..."


    "He said you might have cramping pains like you did during pregnancy. And, just like menstruation, you will bleed..."


    "Eh?"


    "However, it will gradually lighten and stop within two weeks. I mean, if everything goes as it should."


    "Okay... But two weeks..."


    Dem and I were pretty frank with literally everything. Unlike some men, he was well-versed in the subject of menstruation. He said he learned about it from a book. Perhaps that was why he had that look on his face that said he understood my frustration.


    "I heard your stomach hurt a lot," he said. "I am sorry. I waste."


    "It''s fine... You needed to take care of them," I said. "That said, where are they?"


    "Ah... Your food is here," he said, not answering me.


    He assisted me in sitting and motioned for the maids to leave as soon as they ced the food on the side table.


    "You... You killed them, didn''t you?"


    "... I did."


    I inhaled sharply. I never imagined living with someone who would kill others and then talk about it as if he were talking about killing bugs. He was a cold-blooded murderer. He could have just captured them and locked them up in the prison. Instead, he chose to deal with it on his own.


    Sometimes I was scared to be under the shade of someone like him.


    ''Will I be able to shine on my own if I awaken my power? Will I be able to be someone who does not need others? In that case, I will dly awaken my power. I don''t want to be with him because I need protection. Rather, I want to be with him because I want to and because I love him. We need to be equal in power so he can''t say anymore that I need him to survive.


    Right now, he is convinced that the outside world is dangerous for me and that I am powerless to protect myself. Because of that, I am the safest when I am with him and I can''t survive without him. I did not want to live without him, but I, at least, wanted to be able to survive on my own.''


    I was served a very thin soup with soft bread. They surely made it keeping in mind that I had trouble swallowing.


    "I would like to wash my mouth and face first," I said.


    "Alright," he nodded as he slid down the bed.


    He spread his arms and motioned for me toe to him so he could carry me. Even though my heart was very dry, I could not help butugh a bit as I slowly made my way to him.


    He carried me to the restroom and helped me wash up. It was a bit hard to stand, so he did not pull his arm away that was around my waist.


    "Does your stomach hurt?" he asked.


    "Not really... I mean, it feels like something happened there a while ago and now I am feeling the aftermath of that. But it''s not hurting like then now," I said, wiping my face with a towel.


    "If you feel any pain, anywhere, don''t hesitate to tell me. I will call the doctor right away," he said.


    "Okay..."


    "And I have brought your cat as well."


    "Sapphire?"


    "Yeah, that one... It is with your maid now."


    "She, not it... She is a girl," I corrected him, knowing full well that he would refer to her as ''it'' again.


    "Yes, yes...," he said, shrugging. "By the way, I don''t understand why you call it sapphire. You said it was because her eyes are green. But wouldn''t it be better if you referred to her as Emerald or something? Typically, sapphires are blue."


    "Sapphires can also be green. Her eyes are more akin to green sapphires than emeralds. I mean, I think they look more like green sapphires, which is why..."


    "You took your time naming it."


    "Her," I corrected again.


    If it were normal time, I would be able to enjoy this moment with Dem. But my heart was now heavy. Though I was not crying, I was still kind of broken on the inside. The feeling was indescribable and painful in a different way.


    Since I was not pregnant anymore, my life was not in danger anymore. It was obvious to me without anyone having to tell me. Otherwise, my husband would not have sat still and would have grabbed the cors of many doctors and brought them here by now.


    Even though my life was not in danger, I still hated the fact that I had to lose my child. I had not gotten attached to it much, yet I felt like this. Now I truly understood how mothers felt losing their children.


    He carried me back and gently ced me on the bed. His touch was light and gentle. I was brought back to our first night together. Since then, his touch had been mostly gentle, as if he was touching something very precious to him. At that time I did not know how he felt toward me. If I had known, I might have been able to understand him sooner.


    He sat in front of me and started feeding me slowly. I did not say anything and ate quietly. His eyes were gentle every time he nced at me. It made my heart ache.


    This person''s mind was controlled for seven years. It was no joke. I wondered if it was the reason for his personality to be like this now. He had been through a lot. While I was abused physically, he was being controlled mentally. He suffered no less than me.


    Now I could not even me him for his personality to turn out to be like this. I had been trying to make him better step by step. The progress was very slow, but he surely improved. That was my constion now.


    What could I even do more? I fell in love with a sick man, after all.