DENNIS


    I grew still as the doctor told us the only safe and certain way to ensure


    Amie''s recovery.


    Somewhere in the midst of all the shouts in m


    ead, I heard myself


    ask, "Is that the only solution?"


    "It isn''t but it is the only safe and certain solution. The other ways would only make you spend a ton and at the end you''d still have to take a U turn and return to the savior sibling option."


    I swallowed. Ever since the doctor brought up Amie''s father, I had been worried. Though Ana didn''t seem to think about it, while we waited for the test results, I had been unable to get the doctor''s brief advice for Amie''s biological parents to make her a sibling out of my mind. I even made some research but I calmed myself with the hope that Ana would be a match.


    But she wasn''t. And the only way was to go through the savior sibling conception process.


    The doctor exined more about how Amie would still go through her chemotherapies but the doses will be increased a tad bit while they awaited the sibling in nine months. But the whole conversation went through one ear and out the other.


    I zoned back in when the doctor pped his hands. "Very well, then, you can go ahead to see her if you want to. I think she''s awake."


    "Thank you, doctor," Ana sniffed as she shook the doctor''s hand.


    Outside the office, I told Ana, "I''d be right back." And without a nce. back, I walked down the hallway and out of the hospital.


    I calm


    limbed into my car, closed the door and sat still for a few


    seconds. Then suddenly, I started to pound on the steering wheel with. my fist as I gritted my teeth, resisting the urge to yell out my frustration. I was sure, outside, the car was moving from my movements but I didn''t.


    care.


    Nothing was worth caring for anymore. I hated everything. Everything that''s happening I hate it all. I hated that Amie''s sick, I hated that Ana''s hurting and I hated that Alden would be back in their lives. After so many years, so many frigging years of being in the friend zone,


    I


    I finally have the love of my life and the happy family I had always.


    longed for and pictured with Ana and Amie and this has to happen!


    They won''t make the sibling the traditional way?! Bullshit!


    Aiden justing into Ana''s life, especially at a time where she was this vulnerable, is even more intimate than making babies the traditional way.


    My head falls on the steering wheel, my breathingbored. I closed my eyes and shook my head. And he won''t just be returning to her life, he''d make another baby with Ana. He''d father another if her child! My wife would carry his child in her womb one more time!


    Just the thought of that stressed me out more than running a five. hundred mile race. I felt suffocated. I lifted my head and my hands. trembled as I undid several buttons on my shirt before dropping my head back on the wheel.


    Why does life have to be thisplicated? Can''t I just be happy in this corner of the world with my family?


    ANASTASIA


    My heart ached as I wat d Dennis'' retreating figure as he walked away. He didn''t even look at me as he excused himself.


    I understood him. If he were to be in my shoes, my reaction would be the same. My heart bled for him, for us, for the beautiful rtionship. and friendship we had built. For years, he stuck with me et I when I constantly cast him aside. And now, when I finally saw him and allowed. myself to love him, he has to go through the torture of watching his wife. carry another man''s child.Content bel0ngs to N?vel(D)r/a/ma.Org.


    I closed my eyes and Amie''s pale face formed in my mind. The more I remembered how much weight she had lost thest time I saw her, the more I entertained the idea of going through the Savior sibling process and the more my guilt grew.