We all sat down tentatively. I rubbed my stomach and face for a second. Then Jael put her arm up.


    “Would either one of you mind?” Sacae asked, pointing to his and Jael’s interlocked fingers. Klintock reached up and did the countdown. Sacae won but took his time as he had done with Klintock and me. “So. I’m sure you have questions about what just transpired.” I don’t. I don’t care at all. I just want to be left alone.


    “Yeah, what the Saol?” Jael said angrily, arms crossed.


    “It was a test. One that all of you passed with flying colors.” Sure. Whatever.


    “What test?” Klintock questioned.


    “I’ll explain. First, was to see if you would back down from me, as I am a menacing figure. You two backed away, but only a step or two. You.” He nodded in my direction. “Actually stepped towards me, which was interesting.” He said, pointing at me. “Then I introduced an arbitrary divide, one that you would be pressured into following by me and the men behind me. Separating out…” He held his hand out towards Jael.


    “Jael.” She said.


    “Jael here, because she’s a woman. It’s silly enough that you would both see the lack of reason to it, but innocuous enough that you would be tempted to go along with it given the pressure of your mentor and a room full of rough looking men. Ordinarily when I do this, it takes the Agers a few times arm wrestling before they speak up or push back in some way. But…” He motioned towards me.


    I just glanced at him, then looked off across the room. I was too angry, confused, and hurt to talk to him. Even if it was a ‘test’ I got genuinely punched and slapped several times. I felt betrayed. We trusted this crew to deliver us safely to the Islands, and to train us to survive. This was just cruel. Klintock spoke for me.


    “Croí, and I’m Klintock.”


    “Croí? Are you a Geal?” How did he know that?


    “Yes. How did…” I started.


    “I knew Sealí and Ríger.”


    “Oh.” I said, surprised.


    Did he go through the Aging with them? How did he know them? And besides that, how would he know my last name just from knowing my first? Unless he was their friend maybe and had heard about me through them. Maybe he is trustworthy if he knows my family. I felt conflicted. Betrayed, but now that he was possibly a family friend, I felt a budding happiness. I wanted to hear tales he had of my family.


    “Right. Croí here retaliated immediately, and the way he did it was smart. He didn’t try to win like others have done, or just refuse. He took part, but in a way that made me feel small for doing what I did, and Klintock backed him up when the resolution was made not to participate. Even when Croí was on the floor, Klintock stuck with it at Croí’s behest. Croí showed strong protective instinct when he broke Jael free. Exactly what we need in a Guardian. Jael showed a strong sense of situational awareness when she ran for the door, because a Guardian’s goal is to keep everybody alive, but if the chips are down, to save as many as possible. Jael understood and tried not to waste the opportunity Croí provided. Klintock backed up Croí getting Jael out of a bad situation. All in all, I’m impressed.”


    “I guess that makes sense. Testing to see how we would react under stress.” Klintock said.


    “Yeah. I’m still mad though.” Jael seconded. I just stared off at a chair in the corner, confused, hurt, and curious, not knowing what to do or think.


    “Right.” Sacae clapped his hands together as he stood and moved the table aside. “Time to get some training in. Hand to hand combat.” My nose twitched with anger a few times as I got to my feet with the others. I hate this, can we just talk about Sealí and Ríger? Sacae paired Jael with Klintock, using me to demonstrate techniques and moves for them to try on each other.


    They were grappling moves, some I’d practiced with my brothers, some were new, but all were uncomfortable. Whenever he would say ‘just let me know when you can’t take it.’ when applying pressure to my joints, I found it to be against my nature to say it, or to show him the satisfaction of my pain. This led to him being more and more forceful with the moves and holds.


    This continued, move after move, and throw after throw for the next four hours. At first, I was just uncomfortable, now I was in pain. My joints were throbbing, and my muscles were sore from being tossed on the hardwood floor repeatedly


    I felt more powerless than I’d felt in a long time. Being thrown around like a small child by Sacae at the amusement of Klintock and Jael was humiliating, especially with my emotions still raw from the ‘test’ Sacae had given us.


    What’s the point? Grappling? I can’t even grapple Sacae. What good is that against a giant spider?! Or a tree that paralyzes you?! Or those worms that hide in the ground and engulf you? Absolutely nothing. There is no point to learning any of this. At least the training I got with my brothers seemed useful. How to move quickly, being accurate with projectiles, wrestling, with a focus on striking, or breaking weak points to bring down larger foes.


    A bell rang out, loud and clear four times, with pauses after the first and third ring.


    “What’s that for?” Klintock asked panting as Jael flipped him over her shoulder one last time with a smile.


    “That is the bell. It rings in many ways, for several different things, but that pattern means supper is ready. That means we are done for the day. Go and eat.”


    Jael and Klintock exclaimed with joy and started running towards the galley. I waited for Sacae to leave, panting on my hands and knees. He followed them without a second glance towards me. Once I was able to catch my breath, I went up onto the deck instead of heading to the galley.


    Finally, I was out of that situation. I felt a deep desire to find a hiding place, somewhere to be unseen. I searched the ship thoroughly. Then remembered something I’d seen when we first approached the Pony. As I moved quickly and quietly up onto the quarterdeck in the far back left corner, and looked over, I saw it. There was a shelf of sorts about eight feet down. People wouldn’t even notice if they were right above me.


    Climbing down was easy, and I could sit cross legged and just gaze out onto the seemingly endless ocean as Kolob set. I was finally content. I wasn’t visible from any point on the ship. Not even the Captain’s quarters. I did my best to let the events of the past few days fade away while I felt the movement of the ship.


    I couldn’t help but be pestered by memories of the ‘training’ Sacae had inflicted, and the added cruelty of Klintock and Jael’s amusement. I don’t understand why they are being so cruel. Was William, right? Did I make a mistake keeping that pack? I sighed heavily and did my best to push all the thoughts out of my mind.


    I replaced the thoughts with memories of home. Memories of my family. They were cruel to me sometimes, true, but they were far better than Sacae. They always apologized when they saw they had hurt me. I was also mad at Edorin for sticking me with Sacae. I was close to tears but fought them back.


    Eventually, I could hear sailors that had finished their meals moving around on the deck and chatting. I got nervous when they would get close but learned to ignore them.


    “Zanataz sir?” Keokin’s voice.


    “Keokin ma boy, what can I do for ya?” He seemed to sigh as he was speaking.


    “Have you seen Croí? I’ve been searching for him for a bit, but I haven’t been able to find him. He never showed up in the galley.” There was a pause before Zanataz replied.


    “I did see him wandering the decks seemingly looking for something just before I went to the galley, but I haven’t seen him in a while. Figured he went below.” Keokin sighed before replying.


    “Very well, thank you Zanataz sir.”


    “No problem. If you can’t find him within the next few minutes, get ahold of the Captain and let him know what’s going on. If he’s gone overboard, we need to know now. I’ll help you look.”


    “I will. Thank you again sir.” I heard Zanataz walk away, and Keokin walking all over the quarter deck. He occasionally called my name, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want him to find my hiding spot. I waited for him to leave, then I snuck back up onto the quarter deck and followed the sound of him calling for me, passing by and waving at Zanataz who seemed to sigh with relief.


    “Croí! Oh, thank the Gods. I was worried about you. Did you get anything to eat? Lánn, William, and Cairen cooked up some delicious fish with rolls and vegetables.” I shook my head.


    “No. I was tired, so I went and sat down.” It was partially true, but still technically a lie.


    “Where? I searched the whole ship for you at least twice.” I felt guilty for scaring him and lying.


    “I moved around a few times, must’ve just missed me. I came when I heard you calling for me.”


    “Funny how that happens sometimes. Well, come on, let’s get you some food.” He turned around and walked towards the galley. I sighed heavily and followed him, feeling the ache of my body. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard Jael and Leola giving William a hard time.


    “I don’t know why you complained so much Will, you’re a natural home maker.” Leola jested.


    “And I bet you look fantastic in an apron.” Jael said laughing.


    “Shut your traps you harpies!” William yelled back through their giggles. “And don’t call me Will. It’s William.” They just laughed and nibbled on the last of their food. I took a small plate but noticed that there wasn’t much room where the group was sitting unless I asked William to move. I didn’t want any more conflict, so I glanced around to make sure nobody was paying attention and slipped up on deck and ate sitting against the railing.This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    The food was particularly good. Well-cooked and well-seasoned. A small happiness to hold up against the terrible day. Eventually I finished and brought the dishes back down.


    “Where’d you go?” Leola’s sudden question startled me.


    “Up on deck. Just wanted a bit of air.” I said. She nodded.


    “That makes sense. We’re trying our hand at some card games with Cairen. Wanna join?” The offer was only tempting because it was from Leola. Her smile seemed to lift my spirits just enough to think participating might be enjoyable.


    “Yeah sure. Lead the way.” I said. She smiled and walked a few feet over to the room we were staying in and opened the door, motioning for me to go inside. I went inside to the sound of ruckus laughter.


    “Well youngins, I win again.” Cairen stated proudly, still sporting a mischievous wry grin as he slapped a hand of five cards on the floor.


    “You’re cheating, you must be. Nobody’s that lucky.” Céírde said, a slight jesting smile on her lips. Cairen laughed as he collected the cards.


    “Play me again lass, and we’ll see how my luck holds.” He split the deck in half and shuffled the cards together.


    “Can Croí and me join in?” Leola asked. Cairen looked up at us and nodded with a smile.


    “Of course lass, the more the merrier.” He motioned for us to sit in a circle with Céírde, William and Lánn. Klintock, Flint, Sable and Jael were in their own circle. I sat down next to Leola.


    I felt nervous, not just nervous being included in the group, but something about being close to Leola like this gave me a strange feeling in my stomach, like the one I’d had the first time I saw Sable. Cairen flipped the top card face down towards Céírde and went counterclockwise around the circle until there were three cards for everyone. I reached down to pick up the cards.


    “Wait, don’t pick them up just yet.” Leola said.


    “Yeah leaky, haven’t you ever played three five before?” A biting comment from William. Cairen shushed him.


    “Now now, William. His name is Croí. If you don’t call him by his proper name, I’ll have to work with Zanataz on a nasty little name for you and pass it around.” William glared at Cairen and huffed, rolling his eyes. “Now Croí ma boy, have you ever played three five before?” I shook my head slightly. “Not a bother at all lad. Let me explain the rules. Practice round everybody.” He explained the rules of the game to me and showed me examples of what worked and what didn’t.


    It seems simple but figuring out the turns might take a second or two to get used to. Sounds like it could be a fun game though. We finished the practice round.


    “Got a grasp on it lad?” Cairen asked.


    “Yeah, I think I got it.” I said. He grabbed all our cards back, shuffled them, then dealt them to us.


    We played the game for the next hour or two. Cairen and Leola won most of the time, but I won the first game. The rest was split between William and Céírde. I lost most often but was awfully close a lot of the time.


    Eventually we started to get tired, and Cairen grabbed the cards and left, thanking us for playing. It was too late for Céírde to teach us anything about Common, so we got into our bedding. I turned over to face the wall, trying to enjoy remembering the card game and being able to sit close to Leola like that.


    Leola, Lánn, and Sable were chatting on their end. Klintock and Jael were talking about the grappling moves. They had learned many from training before coming but were happy to learn a few new ones. William argued with Céírde about the importance of arm wrestling after hearing from Klintock and Jael about how our session with Sacae went.


    “Arm wrestle me!” William yelled at Jael and Klintock. I heard them getting on the floor and counting down. There was a struggle for a moment then the sound of a hand hitting the floor. William grunted in victory and Jael cursed under her breath. “Your turn Klintock.” Klintock and William got on the floor and Jael counted down. This time the struggle lasted much longer, but was met with the same result, William cheering his victory. I heard a few steps then a hand shaking me. I turned over to see William smirking confidently at me. “Croí. Arm wrestle me.” I sighed and shook my head.


    “No.” His look turned to anger.


    “Why not?” He questioned. I sat up and sighed.


    “I’m tired William, and I don’t want to. Now please leave me be.”


    “Come on Croí, what’s the matter? Scared I’ll beat you?” He taunted. I sighed and glared at him, angry from the day’s events, and him messing with me again.


    “I’m not scared. There’s just no point to it and I don’t want to do it, not with you.” He glared at me and lowered his chin. I rolled my eyes and tried to lay back down. He pulled me back up, startling me.


    “No point? How about proving that you’re more than a scared little mouse for once you skitterbrook!” I clenched my jaw against the insult.


    “I don’t have anything to prove to you William. Leave me alone alright?” His anger turned cold. I barely saw him ball up his fist before he struck, hitting me in the left cheek, sending my head back into the wall. He grabbed my hair and pulled me forward striking me in the jaw.


    My vision was blurred, and every time he hit me, my vision blinked black and white for a moment. He hit me a third time on the left side of my nose and cheek. Klintock and Jael grabbed him and pulled him from me. He kicked me in the stomach as a final parting shot. I didn’t feel it very much because of the spinning in my head.


    My hands came up to hold my head. Trying in vain to quiet the ringing and halt the throbbing.


    Ow. Why me? What is it with people wanting to beat me? Is it my face? My attitude? Is it just because he wants my pack? Why? I felt someone pull me up into a sitting position. Something tickling in my left nostril and then ran down my lips. I reached up and touched under my nose then looked at my hand. I’m bleeding!


    “Are you ok?” Leola? I felt so embarrassed. Embarrassed that she saw me get thrashed. Embarrassed that I was so weak. I pushed myself to my feet, wobbling as I went for the door.


    “Croí, wait we need to stop the bleeding.” Leola called after me as I opened the door.


    “That’s right! Run-away cowa…” William’s comment was cut short by Klintock’s fist and Jael’s yell.


    “Keep your mouth shut before more shite falls out! What’s wrong with you?!” I moved into the galley, heading for my hiding spot. There were two sailors sitting at a table with Cairen playing cards. Cairen’s eyes went wide as he saw my hand covering my nose and mouth with blood dripping from it. I felt even more embarrassed and just tried to move past them with a slight nod like nothing had happened. Leola caught up with me and put her hand on my shoulder.


    “Croí wait.” Her hand was gentle, the first comfort I’d felt since I said goodbye to Kixas. I wanted to stop, but I didn’t like feeling like an idiot. It would probably be dumber for me to leave now. Besides, I need this bleeding to stop, or I’ll have to mop it all up. I swallowed the blood that had backed up into my throat from my pinched off nose.


    “What’s this now?” Cairen asked. Leola tugged on my shoulder slightly, pulling me towards a chair.


    “Will happened.” She replied as she sat me down. I couldn’t look them in the eyes. I noticed that my hands were shaking, and my breathing was heavy but didn’t know what to do about it.


    Leola rolled up some gauze and pulled on my hand trying to get it away from my face. “It’s ok Croí, let me look at it.” I slowly and shakily let my hand off my nose. The blood I had held back by pinching it flowed freely now. Leola put the rolled gauze into my nostril. I winced from the slight pain and uncomfortable feeling. Once that was done, she wiped up the blood that had run down my mouth and chin. Cairen had set his cards down, and gotten a pan of water for her to wash her rag and to keep the used gauze in.


    “There ya go lass. He’ll be just fine. Give the young sir a bit of time and he’ll be brand new. Doesn’t look like the nose were broke, thank goodness. Pardon me a moment will ya?” Cairen asked as he walked into our room, telling everyone but William to leave for a moment.


    “Hey, keep your head still ok.” Leola said as she pulled my face back towards her. I nodded, happy to have an excuse to keep my eyes on her for a moment. Céírde and Sable came over to check on me.


    “How''s he doin’ doc? Is he gonna live?” Sable jested, she glanced at me to make sure I was in the mood to jest. I smiled at her. Leola chuckled.


    “He’s fine. Just bruised and dazed. Soon as the blood stops, he’ll be fine.”


    “Glad to hear it.” Céírde said, putting a timid hand on my cheek for a second and smiling. Again, I got a strange feeling in my stomach. What is that feeling? Like butterflies or standing on a high place. It’s weird… She’s really pretty though.


    “Croí. I’m sorry we didn’t get to him faster.” I glanced over to see Jael and Klintock. They looked ashamed. Why? They hadn’t cared when Sacae was tossing me around earlier. Klintock put his hand on my shoulder. My muscles tensed and I nearly shrugged his hand off.


    “We’re sorry Croí. That was uncalled for. If he ever hurts you again, let us know immediately. We got your back. Guardians need to stick together.” The look in his eyes was earnest. Maybe they didn’t notice I was in pain earlier. I was trying to hide it so Sacae wouldn’t have the satisfaction. Maybe I hid it from them too?


    “Really? I can count on you guys?” I asked. They both nodded.


    “No matter what. Shield brothers and sister.” Klintock replied. Jael smiled. They’re sincere. They were the first ones to get to William. They also stood up for me when William tried to take my pack the first time. Even if Jael sided with him during the verbal debate for a time. Shield brother. Shield sister. I like the sound of that.


    “Thank you. I’ll look out for you guys too.” They nodded and patted me on the back. Everyone but me and Leola went over to the other sailors and played cards. Leola sat with me.


    “How are you feeling Croí?” I glanced at her.


    “My head and my cheek kinda hurt, but not too bad.”


    “No, I mean. How are you feeling? You seem unhappy. It’s my job to look after everybody’s mental and physical health, remember? I know it’s a weird time, but I figure while we’re together relatively out of earshot, I would check in with you.” She tilted her head and raised her brows at me with a smile.


    I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to be seen as weak. I looked over at the others. They were making enough noise and were far enough away that they couldn’t overhear me. If I were to talk to anyone it would be Leola, but what should I say? I opened my mouth, then closed it. “Come on Croí. You can tell me.” She urged. I sighed.


    “I just… miss home. That’s all. I’m fine.” She squinted her left eye, lifting her right eyebrow at me skeptically.


    “Are you sure? You’ve been having a rough time lately, is that all that’s been bothering you?” I took a deep breath. I just can’t talk about it. What if I start crying or something like that? Or she thinks I’m stupid for being bothered by stuff that didn’t seem to bother Klintock or Jael during training?


    “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks though.” I winced as I tried to smile, reaching up to hold my jaw. It felt loose and uncomfortable on the left side.


    “Alright. I’ll leave it alone for now. But just know I’m here if you need to talk, ok?” I nodded.


    “Thank you, Leola. I appreciate it.” The door opened and Cairen led William out by his hair.


    “Go on then.” He prodded William. William glared angrily back at him, to which Cairen promptly smacked the back of his head, hard. William groaned then looked at me.


    “I’m sorry.” Cairen grabbed William’s ear.


    “Like we practiced William.” He said sternly as he twisted it.


    “I’m sorry for punching you Croí. You didn’t deserve it and I was being jealous and stupid.” Cairen nodded.


    “Better. Now, time for you youngins to get some shut eye. You too young sir, once that bleeding stops.” He let go of William’s ear and they all went back in the room. I turned to Leola.


    “If you’re tired, you can get some sleep. I’ll be fine now. I’ve had a bloody nose before, and the daze has worn off.”


    “Are you sure Croí? I’m fine waiting out here with you.” I wanted her to stay, but I also wanted to be left alone. Besides, she needs her rest. Gotta watch out for the group.


    “Yeah. I’ll be fine. The headache and soreness are the worst of it now. You head in with the others. Make sure you’re there for the next time Will loses it.” She chuckled, shaking her head and pursing her lips.


    “I guess you’re right. Let me know if you need anything Croí.” I smiled and nodded. She packed up her things.


    “Don’t worry about cleaning. I’ll handle that.” I grabbed the pan and started walking up the stairs.


    “Ever the gentleman. Thanks, Croí.” She said. I nodded and smiled, headed up on deck. Feeling happy after she called me a gentleman, and just to be helping her.


    I used a bucket and some rope to bring up some water. Sitting down with it, I washed the pan and rags. When I was satisfied, I dumped the water out and rinsed the bucket. I plopped down on the deck and leaned against the railing, rubbing my cheek and jaw.


    I’d taken beatings like this before from my brothers, but I usually learned a lot more from it, and thinking back on it, they weren’t this rough with me. This was just painful. The physical pain was bad. The mental pain of being punched and slapped by people I thought I could trust like Sacae, for seemingly no reason, just stuck in my head. If nothing else, at least I know that the group would help if I needed it. Wait, I’m the Guardian. I’m supposed to protect them. Will I be able to when the time comes? Like Klintock and Jael did for me tonight? I sighed and looked up at the stars for a while before heading back down to bed.