I braced myself in a defensive position, waiting for him to make the first move. He obliged, coming in with a flurry of kicks and punches. My mind went back to our early morning training sessions, which ended up being a detriment. He used different moves when he was fighting. He landed several hits, then swept my legs out, dropping me to my hands and knees. He lightly prodded my ribs with his foot.


    “Come on Croí, where’s your head at?” He asked. I smiled as I stood. As soon as we squared up, he lunged in with a jab. On instinct, I grabbed his wrist and fell backwards, pulling him with me. At the same time, I planted my right foot in his hip and kicked, sending him over me.


    I did it! I tossed him! We quickly rose to our feet. A small smile broke on his lips, a smile that grew as I returned it. This time I made the first move, throwing several jabs and leg sweeps, keeping him guessing as to which were feints and which were strikes. He dipped under one of my left jabs, lightly brushing aside my arm with his left and striking my face with his right. I barely flinched as I went in for a right jab.


    No this isn’t right. He’s expecting this. But I was too late to stop, he grabbed my wrist, pulled, and threw me onto the floor. I rolled away from him, getting up just as he kicked into my ribs. It was painful, but manageable. And in a rare moment, I could see where his next strike was coming from. He went to follow up with a left straight. I moved just enough so that his fist grazed my right cheek.


    Now! I released my coiled right fist, watching it fly straight up into his cheek. I finally got that solid connection I was looking for, but it was followed by a knee to my flexed abdomen. I kept pressing him, wanting another good hit, but he was too slippery. His return strikes were much more accurate.


    I made a mistake, forgetting entirely about grappling. Zanataz caught my hand and bent the wrist, while at the same time, pushing my elbow up. It made me tippy toe from the discomfort. He smiled. Oh no. Before I could do anything, he pushed me forward, and tripped me, pulling my arm behind my back, and sitting on my back. I punched uselessly at his thighs and tried to kick his back, but he just pulled my arm up further. I stopped punching him, and lightly tapped.


    He released and pulled me to my feet. I took a deep breath, shaking the dizziness out of my head. He ruffled my hair.


    “Well done Croí. You’ve definitely improved.” I bowed my head to him, then leaned in close to grab his forearm in mine and talking up into his ear over the cheering of the crowd.


    “Thank you, Z.” He looked at me skeptically, mouthing ‘Z?’ and I mouthed back in the affirmative, ‘Z.’


    “Next match, Leola and Lanaea.” Me and Zanataz left the arena, standing next to Klintock and the others as we watched. I was intrigued to see Lanaea fight. “Go.”


    Both of Lanaea’s feet were close together, left slightly in front of the right, her left hand extended, palm facing the sky. Right close to her chest, slightly curled. Contrasted by Leola’s wide stance, and both arms up in a boxing stance. Lanaea remained static.


    Leola made the first moves, throwing jabs and kicks at Lanaea, who used her outstretched hand to glance aside punches, and her lead leg to block any kicks. Lanaea kept backing away from Leola, forcing her to keep pressing and overextending herself. Leola noticed this and stopped for a moment, taking a step back to figure out what to do next. It was then that Lanaea advanced with small, fast, footsteps, keeping up a steady forward pace, forcing Leola to move around the space.


    When she got close, Lanaea would use her legs to strike, low or high in an instant, deflecting any punches with her outstretched hand. Leola looked frustrated and decided it was now or never, and dived straight at Lanaea’s hips, arms open wide. Lanaea stepped back but wasn’t fast enough. Leola caught onto her with her left arm and used her momentum to swing around Lanaea, holding onto her from behind and pulled hard, throwing Lanaea off balance and slamming them both to the floor.


    Before Lanaea could roll away, Leola went on the offensive. Using elbows, knees, and fists to strike. She hit Lanaea several times in the ribs and face. Lanaea rolled one more time, gaining some distance and they both stood. Then, with her right hand out straight, she struck Leola with her fingertips to the abdomen. Leola yelped, stepping back from the pain. Lanaea stood and advanced yet again. This time assuming no stance, walking normally.


    Leola threw a right jab, Lanaea flexed her abdomen, absorbing the hit as she retaliated, hitting Leola in her exposed right rib cage. Leola winced and Lanaea moved, coiling around Leola like a vine, somehow catching her in a full body lock I’d never seen before. Leola tapped out after a few seconds on the floor. But she fought well. Held her own for a while. Lánn and Aenrick were next.


    I remembered Aenrick from the Behemoth attack. He was the one that occupied the crow’s nest and kept Edorin informed as to the Behemoth’s location. He was easily the smallest crew member, which I hoped would make an even match for Lánn. “Go.”


    Lánn stayed put with a defensive stance as she breathed and focused on any movements Aenrick made. Aenrick moved in slowly, prodding at her defenses with light jabs and weak kicks, which ended up being a mistake. We had taught Lánn to capitalize on this. Seeming weak was a great advantage if she could utilize it, which she did.


    Aenrick threw two light right jabs, on the third, Lánn lunged under his jab while throwing her right arm up and around his neck, trapping his right arm and head in a lock. She pulled her forearm into the base of Aenrick’s neck, and he winced and squinted, struggling against the hold. He tried to trip her, but instead, she pulled her legs up, putting all of her weight on Aenrick’s neck. He focused on trying to pull her arm off, and that’s when she used her legs to kick the back of his knees and drop him down. She had full control. He couldn’t use his legs, he couldn’t twist out, he couldn’t pull her arm off, he was trapped. He tapped out. Lánn was too focused on keeping her hold and kept going. Aenrick tapped harder and she opened her eyes, letting him go in surprise.


    “The winner is Lánn.” Crew and Agers alike roared with excitement. She actually beat one! I can hardly believe it! She didn’t just land a hit, she beat him.


    Aenrick pulled Lánn to her feet and whispered something to her. She giggled and nodded, saying ‘you’re welcome’ through the roar of the crew. Edorin stepped into the circle, patting her on the head. Then looked at Keokin. Keokin stepped in with him as Lánn and Aenrick stepped back into the crowd. Edorin stood, hands behind his back and waited for the cheering to quiet, giving Lánn her much deserved moment. When all was quiet, he focused on Keokin. “Go.”


    Keokin moved towards him, trying to capitalize on his openings, but Edorin was fast. As soon as Keokin threw a punch, Edorin leaned to the side, letting it pass by and brought his knee up into his stomach. Keokin coughed and held his stomach. Edorin took a step towards him, throwing out a front kick that Keokin dodged. Three more kicks, front, side, sweep, all within an inch of Keokin, while keeping his hands behind him, not even his expression had changed.


    Keokin on the other hand, looked focused, dodging each kick deftly until Edorin threw a high sweeping left kick. Keokin, who had been taking a step back, suddenly crouched, and stepped forward under the kick. He caught Edorin’s knee with his right arm as it passed by his head and pushed, throwing Edorin off balance. Edorin’s hands finally came out, slapping against the floor, breaking his fall.


    Keokin was still pushing against him, causing a stalemate. Edorin and Keokin smiled. Keokin put the back of Edorin’s knee on his shoulder, leaned in and punched Edorin several times in the stomach, then Edorin kicked out with his right leg, slamming it into Keokin’s chest, sending him back. In an instant Edorin was standing, arms at his sides moving towards Keokin. He focused on his incredibly fast kicks, but whenever Keokin paid too much attention to his feet, Edorin would lash out with a jab.


    I was amazed by Keokin’s skill, his speed. He was able to dodge consistently and actually trade blows with Edorin in an incredible display. Edorin swept Keokin’s legs from beneath him, after a good hit to his cheek, but he landed on one hand, pushing himself back up before Edorin could land another strike. The entire crowd was silent in amazement.


    Then finally, Keokin sidestepped Edorin’s front kick and landed a jab on his jaw. Edorin moved back, not stumbling or dazed. His face changed, becoming serious, and he put up his fists in a boxing stance. Keokin took several steps back, his focus mixed with fear. Then a smile of pride. I understood that smile.


    Edorin advanced quickly. His strikes were even faster now and Keokin couldn’t keep up, taking several hits to the face and ribs, seemingly out of nowhere, Edorin’s fist slammed into Keokin’s stomach, and he doubled over. Edorin stood over him, waiting, but Keokin couldn’t recover. He tapped the floor. Edorin started clapping, looking to the crowd. We snapped out of our daze and cheered as he crouched down, putting a hand on Keokin’s back, saying something to him. Keokin slowly rose to his knees and said something back to him. He gulped, then smiled and laughed as they stood. Klintock leaned over in my ear.


    “He didn’t fight like that with me.” He said. I thought back, realizing he was right. Klintock’s fight with Keokin hadn’t been anywhere near as intense. Almost like Keokin had let Klintock win.


    Keokin hugged Edorin, surprising him, but Edorin smiled and hugged him back gently, leading him out of the circle. Cairen and William were next.


    Their match was tactile at first, each one gauging the strength of the other until William caught one of Cairen’s punches to the stomach. He stumbled, falling back on one knee, and Cairen moved forward, throwing a punch to finish it as William looked up. William caught the punch in the palm of his hand. Cairen threw another but William dodged to the outside of the punch, standing as he delivered a punch to Cairen’s face. Cairen hit him back with an elbow to the chest, and William took it, delivering one more punch to Cairen’s face. William put Cairen on the defensive, forcing him to block William’s strikes until Cairen found an opportunity and dazed William with a chin strike.


    With William’s onslaught momentarily stopped, Cairen was able to move in with several well-placed strikes and stun him. He snatched William’s wrist and twisted it at an awkward angle, applying steady pressure. William delayed it as long as he could, trying to kick or twist his way out of the hold, but Cairen twisted his wrist further, forcing William’s arm behind his back so he could better control him. Eventually William tapped. He looked disappointed, but our cheering seemed to help him feel better.


    Klintock and Danith were next. Danith loomed a head taller and a foot wider then Klintock. His size reminded me of Sacae, but thankfully that was where the similarities ended. As they fought, I observed that even their fighting styles were different. Danith’s stance and the flow of his moves were more efficient as he landed hits on Klintock, and his defense was advanced enough that as soon as Klintock threw a punch, Danith would immediately swat it aside while throwing a counter punch. Klintock capitalized on this, throwing a right jab, but keeping his left hand ready to catch the retaliating fist. As soon as he had Danith’s right wrist, he pulled him in and brought his right elbow up into Danith’s jaw to daze him, then twisted and bent, slamming him onto his back.


    Danith, still on his back, received two punches to the face from Klintock, blocked the third with his forearm, and caught the fourth. He slammed his fist into Klintock’s jaw. He fell over onto the floor dazed. He wobbled like he was trying to stand but couldn’t. Danith patted him on the back and Edorin declared the match over.


    Once he recovered, Me and Klintock moved into the crowd where we found Leola, Lanaea, Keokin and Edorin. We joined them to view the three remaining matches.


    The first of which being between Jael and Orae. Orae was holding his arms in the air, exciting the crew, and coming over to Jael and high fiving her before the match started. As soon as Edorin said ‘Go’, he rushed in to fight. His fighting method was very unorthodox. He punched from odd angles, kicked backwards at her like a mule, then threw a double fisted punch. Jael didn’t know how to deal with this, remaining mostly defensive. Orae dropped into a stance and threw a solid jab that dazed her. He rushed in, hitting her stomach, ribs, then face before returning to his random attacks.


    As she started to refocus, Orae’s style changed back to serious. This time she was ready, blocking with her arm and throwing a kick as soon as he punched. She connected with the side of his thigh and his leg seemed to go dead. He jumped around on one foot, which prompted Jael to move in, but he was feigning the injury. He side kicked as soon as she approached. Jael reacted quickly, catching his foot, and pulling his leg down into a leg bar. Orae tickled Jael’s foot, trying to distract her, but she wouldn’t budge, if anything she twisted his ankle harder. He howled in pain for a few seconds before tapping out.


    “I’m impressed. I mean Orae is kind of an idiot, but your group won two fights.” Lanaea said. “Bit more training and you’ll be a mean bunch; I’ll tell you that much.” She looked proud, a slight smile on her face as she looked down at Jael, her arm raised in the air by Orae before moving back into the crowd. Sable and Gathaen were next.


    They were opposites. Sable was bouncy and happy, but Gathaen was stern and focused. As soon as Edorin said ‘Go,’ Sable focused on Gathaen. It was strange seeing her standing still. Normally, as soon as the fight started, she would leap onto the opponent and use her own momentum to throw them around, but I guess since Gathaen taught her this method, she wouldn’t be able to use it on him.


    Gathaen rolled forward to close the distance. She threw a side kick at him, but he caught the heel of her foot in his palm, stood up and lightly pushed her over. She stumbled but regained her footing, inching closer to him. His muscles gave nothing away, remaining absolutely still until, in a flash of movement, he jabbed her cheek. She punched back at him. He grabbed her wrist, punching her again to daze her, then bent down, took hold of her ankle, and threw it into the air. She flipped over, slamming onto the floor. He crouched down next to her as she was recovering, took hold of her wrist and bent it at an awkward angle.


    I was fascinated. Normally Sable was too fast for us in sparring sessions. But now, Gathaen was crouched next to her, almost looking bored, and used simple holds or moves too fast for her to react to effectively. I was dumbstruck.


    She yelped, feeling the pain in her wrist, and turned to kick at him, but he blocked it, pulled her wrist towards him, and flipped it, forcing her to kneel, as he put more pressure on the wrist, lifting the arm behind her back, straining her shoulder. She tried to twist away, but he stepped to either side of her, blocking her with his legs and pushed her down further. She shook her head and looked back at him, giving a slight nod and he let go. She stood slowly, holding her wrist. “Then again. There’s Gathaen.” Lanaea said, almost sounding disappointed. With that we had one match left, Céírde and ánadaí. “Excuse me kids.” Lanaea said as she moved back down into the crowd.


    “Go.” Céírde was first, moving in with two left jabs, and a feint right that turned into a spinning right kick. With a smirk, ánadaí caught Céírde’s foot inches before it hit her face. She pulled Céírde forward to throw her off balance, but Céírde pushed off with her left foot, aiming a strike at ánadaí’s head. She dodged, letting go of Céírde. Céírde kept on the offensive, moving in close with a feinted right kick that turned into a left jab at the last second, then a straight right kick, left hook, right cross.


    ánadaí struck back with a straight kick. Céírde caught the foot in her stomach. It looked painful, but she pulled it, mimicking ánadaí and Gathaen’s moves. She twisted ánadaí’s leg, dropping her to her knee. ánadaí rolled away, pulling her leg free. Céírde pursued, moving in for a right cross that landed on her cheek, then a knee to her stomach. ánadaí took Céírde’s wrist as she threw another punch, pulling her off balance and tossed her across the deck. ánadaí held her stomach, seeming to feel the hit more than she should’ve.


    Céírde paused, thinking she might be feigning injury and backed off. ánadaí recovered, looking somewhat angry, flexed her stomach muscles, then pushed in towards Céírde. She slapped a punch aside and countered, hitting Céírde’s cheek, jabbed her again. A kick swept out Céírde’s legs and she fell, but as she did, she pulled her legs over her and kicked herself back up.


    ánadaí kept moving in with left and right punches that Céírde blocked with her forearms, being forced back nearly into the crowd. Céírde dropped her block as another punch was coming in and made a straight kick. The punch knocked Céírde back into the feet of some of the crew, but her kick was solid, and to the stomach. ánadaí took a step back, seeming winded and dropped to one knee. She moved, like she was going to stand but stopped, flinching. Céírde got to her feet and took a stance, inching closer to ánadaí, but stopped, crouched down, and held out a hand, palm down. ánadaí waved her hand side to side, smiling and stood slowly as Lanaea came to her side. She put Céírde’s fist in the air and moved ánadaí below deck as the crowd cheered.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    Strange. Is she alright? How hard did Céírde hit her? “Well, that’s it crew. Céírde is the winner. Three Ager victories, impressive without a doubt. Now it’s time to celebrate. Each Ager will receive a tankard, those that won can have two. Crew, your food and a tankard are downstairs. Well done everyone.” Edorin said with a slight smile. The crew cheered and slowly filtered through the door below deck. Edorin went into the Captain’s quarters, and I went to the table to get myself a tankard of ale with the other Agers. Céírde moved into the line behind me. I turned to see her hand on her chin as she nibbled at her lip. I recognized this along with her furrowed brow as her nervous, thinking face.


    “Are you thinking about ánadaí?” I asked. She snapped from her thinking and looked at me.


    “Huh?” As I was about to repeat my question, she continued. “Oh. Yeah. I hit her hard, but I don’t think it should’ve done that much damage. Unless I’m much stronger than I thought.”


    “Well, kick me like you did her. I won’t even flex and we’ll see how much it hurts.” Wait, why am I suggesting that? That’s a bad idea.


    “What? No. What if I hurt you too?” Oh good. She went back to nibbling on her lip.


    “You know what? Let’s go check on her.” I said, grabbing Céírde’s hand away from her chin and pulling her towards the door. She resisted.


    “Wait, are you sure? Maybe it’s something private. Maybe it’s not that bad.”


    “Look, you’re going to chew your lip bloody come morning if this continues, and I can tell it’s bothering you, so let’s just go and ask alright? Besides, we need to grab our boots.” She dipped her head nervously and agreed.


    “If you guys are going downstairs, will you grab our boots too?” Klintock asked.


    “Yeah, just hold my drink till I get back. Don’t drink any though.” I said, jokingly glaring at Klintock. He nodded, taking the tankard. We went below, moving through a few boisterous crewmen. We hesitated before the infirmary door. I heard something that sounded like laughing, but when I listened closer, it sounded more like crying, a sound I was becoming more and more familiar with, from me and my group lately. I hesitated but looked over to see Céírde focused on the door, and my hand that was raised to knock on it. I exhaled and gently knocked on the door.


    “Who is it?” Lanaea asked.


    “It’s Croí and Céírde.”


    “What do you need?” Right. Spill it and hope for the best then I guess.


    “That kick shouldn’t have been enough to drop ánadaí, and the way you rushed her down here is making us worry. We want to know if she’s ok. Is there something we can do to help? I’m owed a tankard of ale if that will help.” There was a small chuckle followed by a small cough, then a sigh and a moment of whispering.


    “Alright then.” I heard Lanaea get up and come over, unlocking the door, letting us inside, then locked the door behind us. ánadaí was leaning over a tin, vomit already inside. She gave us a weak smile and raised her eyebrows. Her breathing seemed labored, and her shoulders were shaking. It was strange to see her like this, she was usually like a pillar of strength.


    “Is she ok?” Céírde asked, her brows twisted with worry. Lanaea glanced back at ánadaí, who nodded and looked back into her sick bucket.


    “No. She’s dying.” Lanaea said bluntly.


    “Dying? What happened?” Céírde asked, glancing between the two women.


    “It wasn’t you, so don’t worry about that. She’s ill. Has been for a while now. It’s why she’s mentoring Flint and you. She can’t mentor the Guardians anymore. If she takes a good knock to the stomach, she’s down for the rest of the day.” Almost as if on cue, ánadaí threw up into the tin and wiped her mouth. “I can’t heal it. I’ve tried everything, concentrate, Crow’s Tears Oil, Coleus, and dozens of different herbal combinations, but nothing’s working. It always comes back after a while.”


    “But I thought that Concentrate and that oil could cure anything. They helped me and Leola with concussions, Croí and Keokin’s bones, stab wounds too.”


    “True. But whatever this is, those only serve as a deterrent. It’s not a bone problem, a muscle problem, not blood, organs, brain, skin, or tendons. Not any disease or illness known to me, those would’ve all been cured with what I’ve already tried.” Lanaea sighed in frustration, rubbing her forehead. “I’ve had nothing but bad news for her.” Now it clicked in my head as to why she said ‘I needed that’ when I told her it’s fun to talk to her, and why her and ánadaí seemed upset. Lanaea had tried something, and it hadn’t worked. “The only thing that any of the Aids back home, or myself can point to is her genealogy.”


    “Genealogy?” I asked.


    “Her ancestry. More than most, her ancestors were explorers. They traveled all over, meeting many new kinds of people, and, in many cases, mixing with them. Some mixes went better than others. In ánadaí’s case, it was several generations that mixed with Berg.” Lanaea explained.


    “What’s a Berg?” I asked. This time ánadaí answered me.


    “Berg are a race of huge people. The men average seven and a half feet tall, and the women are seven feet tall on average. The men grow large, long beards and decorate them intricately. The women have been known to grow facial hair, but years of selective breeding and magical modifications have left them with long thick hair just on their head. Their physical strength is only matched or beaten by the Tauren (Taw-ren) and they’re very smart.” What’s a Tauren? “Well, their women are brilliant, but the men tend to be thick of body and mind. It’s where I got my height and strength.” Wow. They sound like monsters.


    “Then do you think it could be an illness specific to these Berg?” Céírde questioned, her hand on her chin, as she nibbled her bottom lip again.


    “We’ve tried that too. Any of those would and have been cured already, well, at least those that match the symptoms ánadaí is suffering from. Whatever it is, healing actually seems to make it worse sometimes.”


    “Healing makes it worse? How does that work?” I asked.


    “I have no idea, but it seems like accelerated healing tends to accelerate the condition, specifically concentrate, but only if the healing is applied to the affected area, being her stomach.” Céírde and Lanaea both sighed, thinking.


    “What if because she’s Berg and Cianían, the red stuff doesn’t know which one to make and so it makes the wrong one?” I asked. Lanaea looked at me confused, followed by Céírde and ánadaí.


    “Red stuff?” Céírde and ánadaí asked together.


    “Yeah. From the Coleus and Oil, you said it makes new ‘me’ parts and puts them where they go. What if it doesn’t know which one to make, or how to make both together?”


    “It can’t be that, that mixture works on every known race. When we tried it, it didn’t have any effect on the illness, and passed straight through her system, like there wasn’t an injury or illness. I think we would have to dig around in her stomach to find out what the real problem is and then apply it, but that’s too dangerous.” Céírde’s eyes lit up.


    “Maybe that’s because the problem isn’t with a known system.” Lanaea looked at her confused. “Think about it. You said it’s not a problem with her muscles, bones, organs, whatever else. Maybe it’s a new system, something brought in by her ancestors.” Lanaea looked like she was about to dismiss the idea, but her eyes locked in place.


    “New system.” She repeated. “New system. New genealogy. New category altogether.” She looked at her hand, closely, then turned around, putting her hand under a curved magnifying glass and looked even closer. “What is it made of? How does the Coleus mixture work? How does it know what we’re made of and what to do with us? How to make new parts? What are those parts made of? Why would concentrate make it worse but Coleus not?” She sat down slowly at her desk, pulling over a paper and pencil. ánadaí turned to us.


    “Looks like you’ve started her up. Might as well go enjoy your ale kids. I’ll be back to kicking you around tomorrow morning.” She got up slowly from the chair she was sitting on, putting the tin on the bed, and ushering us out. “Thank you for the visit, and your concern.” She ruffled our hair.


    “Sure. See you tomorrow.” Céírde replied. The door closed behind us. I looked at her and we both shrugged.


    “Guess you said something that stuck.” I suggested.


    “Guess so. Now let’s go make sure Sable hasn’t had all our ale by now.” We started walking back towards the stairs when I noticed my boots out of the corner of my eye.


    “Right.” I picked up Céírde’s and tossed them to her. “You go on ahead, I’ll bring theirs up.” She nodded and moved up the stairs. I sat down and put mine on, then looked over at the two pairs next to me.


    My heart quickened looking at Sable’s. I sighed. Why? Why not Klintock’s or mine? I felt a strange determination to know what the feeling was, but the idea of examining Sable’s boots made me feel uncomfortable. I was always taught, ‘if it isn’t yours, don’t touch it’ and these weren’t mine. I scanned the area, satisfied that I wasn’t seen by anyone. I am supposed to retrieve them. It couldn’t hurt. I picked them up, feeling a strange shaking in my body, an excitement to have them, but nervousness that I would be seen with them.


    Why? How are they different from mine or Klintock’s? They’re soft, like mine. Black like mine. Tall like mine. Have that awesome smell of leather just like...Not just like mine. I looked around, just to be safe, then leaned in slightly closer. They smell better than mine. There’s the leather, but something else too. I jumped as one of the crew slammed something on a table, laughing loudly.


    This is wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this. If it wasn’t wrong, then I wouldn’t fear being caught right now. But I need to know why. Just a few more seconds, it can’t be just the smell, I’ve never noticed that until now.


    I slowly bent and picked up Klintock’s. Something about the shape wasn’t the same. Hers were more slender, more pleasing to the eye somehow. But why?! I shook my head, and stood up, angry with myself. I felt like I did something wrong, but I couldn’t fully understand why I did it. I huffed and marched up the stairs, grumbling to myself, frustrated that I couldn’t understand why these new sensations assailed me.


    Puberty. That’s the problem, maybe I can ask Lanaea how to stop it, or reverse it. Maybe then this weird fascination will leave me alone. I grumpily tossed the boots over to Sable and Klintock. “Puberty, always messing with me. ‘Hit you hard didn’t it Croí?’” I mumbled to myself in a barely audible tone as I grabbed a plate of food and a tankard. “Stupid nonsense. Feel like a criminal now.” I plopped myself down on the floor near the railing after grabbing my ale from Klintock. “Can’t say sorry though because it’s too embarrassing to explain, and I don’t want people hating me. Stupid puberty…” I trailed off, not noticing that several of the group members were looking at me.


    “Are you alright Croí? You seem upset.” Leola’s voice interrupted my pouting. I huffed.


    “Fine. Just fine.” She looked very skeptical, even a little bit angry, but sighed and shrugged.


    “Alright, if you say so. I’m just hearing some angry grumbling and I’m worried about you, but if you say you’re fine, I guess you’re fine.” She took a sip of her ale as she walked away from me. I felt guilty, which made me angrier. This was Leola, I’d lied to her by telling her I was fine before at great cost to myself and the group. She was the Lanaea of our group; she’s supposed to help. As angry as I was, I still realized that. I groaned a sigh.


    “Ok fine. But not in front of everybody else.” Leola nodded and motioned for me to follow her up onto the quarterdeck. I got up and followed her, shooting a glance at the rest of the group.


    “You guys go ahead and keep celebrating, we’ll be down in a second. No eavesdropping. Especially you Sable.” Sable glared at Leola, with a sly smile as she sipped her tankard. Leola turned back to me, satisfied by the noise of the group as I plopped down by the railing. “So, what’s this about Croí?” She sat down cross legged in front of me. I grumbled as I finished a bite of my roll. I thought about saying, ‘you know what’ in reference to the conversation I’d overheard between her and Lanaea, but I figured that might be a bit confrontational, so I decided to find a way to tell her as if she didn’t know.


    “Do you know what p… puberty is?” I asked. Leola was taken aback by my question.


    “Yeah. Why?” She asked with a small smile.


    “Because apparently that’s what’s causing my problems.”


    “What do you mean apparently? Don’t you know?” She asked. I shook my head. “Your family never told you about it?” She asked.


    “No. Nobody told me. I didn’t know about any of it until… Well, Lanaea’s helping, and I’m still learning about it, but I don’t like it.” A small knowing look washed over Leola’s face, and she moved in slightly closer, even more aware of whether or not people could hear us.


    “Can you tell me about these problems? Are you hurting anywhere?” She asked, still smiling. I sighed in frustration, shaking my head. I might as well tell her. I’ve been getting...ups, more and more frequently in the mornings. Eventually I’ll still be sleeping, and it’ll get noticed. I took a deep breath. Alright, get ready to be embarrassed.


    “Ok fine. I’ve talked to Lanaea about it, and she’s helped me to understand some of it, but basically, I’ve been having… I’ve been getting…” I spoke almost in a whisper. “Ups.”


    “Ups? What do you?...” Her eyebrows raised in understanding. “Oh… ups ok.” Her smile faded a bit and she glanced down. “I will have to say though, I was worried about you and talked to Lanaea about you.”


    “Lanaea told you?” I asked, feigning ignorance.


    “Yes. She did. I’m really sorry Croí, but I’m the Aid. I need to know what my group is going through. I was worried about you after we fixed your ribs and I asked if you were really alright. She said you were dealing with something. She explained some of it to me in the hopes that I could help you with it while we were on the Island. I’m sorry if it makes you feel betrayed.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. If I was being honest, I wasn’t really all that upset about it, the fact that she told me the truth right away made me trust her more.


    “No. I mean. Not really. But I would really rather it not get passed around, it’s embarrassing enough as it is.” She nodded.


    “I promise. So, what’s bothering you?” She asked.


    “You know what it does?” I asked. She nodded.


    “Yeah, I’ve gone… well, I guess I’m in the middle of it.” She said with a small smile. I sighed, slightly relieved. She knows then.


    “What about the rest of the group? Do they know?”


    “About you? No. About them in general? Yeah.” I sighed.


    “This is all just so confusing. I hate this. It’s like I don’t have control over myself. I’m curious about things I was told were wrong. I’m doing things I was told not to do. I feel bad just looking at… some things now, and I don’t know why.”


    I ran my fingers through my hair, squeezing my head with frustration. “If I could at least control it or turn it off, or even understand it, that would be one thing. But this? I have no idea what’s going on And I still have no idea what creepy means, so I think everything I do is creepy, because I don’t want to be creepy. But I don’t know, and you can’t talk about it because all of it is ‘bad words’ and we’re not supposed to talk about it.” I rubbed my forehead, scratching at my head with frustration.


    I noticed that the group had gone quiet and glanced up to see them quickly look away. “Great! So much for not in front of everyone.” The roll of my head matching my eyes as I moved further back, leaning over the railing as I shook my head. I heard Leola moving towards me. I hopped over and started climbing down. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Just celebrate with the others. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”


    “Croí wait.” I felt her hand on mine. I felt a calming sensation, if only for a moment. I stared at her hand, pale and beautiful in the light of the moons. “Give me one second, please, climb back up here and we’ll talk alright? I haven’t seen you this upset, so it must be really eating at you. I want to talk to you, ok?” I exhaled heavily, closing my eyes, and drooping my shoulders.


    Yeah, because that works so well. Oh, shut up. I argued with myself. “Please?” Her voice was sweet and soft, impossible to resist. I nodded and hopped back on deck as she turned and made a shooing motion to the group. “Go on, I said not to eavesdrop. Now get to the bow and do your celebrating there.” She put her hands on her hips.


    I recognized the pose from the times my mother had been upset by my brother''s antics. They grumbled, some smiling as they grabbed their things and moved to the bow.


    “Fine! Keep your naughty secrets then!” Sable yelled.


    “Don’t even start.” Leola chided.


    “Alright, sorry Croí.” Sable said chuckling. I snickered.


    Leola came and sat down next to me. “Ok, so what’s bothering you most right now? Something you need to get out or talk about?” She asked.


    “I just.” I hesitated, trying to find what was really bothering me. “I feel out of control sometimes, like new things and feelings are invading and I don’t know what they are or why or how to stop or control them. I’m trying to fight myself, my mind and body, and prepare for our Aging. Besides that, I just… I don’t like talking about how I feel. It’s awkward and... scary.” I said with a bit of an awkward chuckle.


    “That’s puberty.” She said with a smile. “Your body is trying to grow, and it’s trying to grow your mind along with it. You need to stop trying to fight it. Your body is your friend, unless you make it your enemy.” Not my enemy? So, it’s a new me, and it’s trying to make me grow into it?


    “I’ll see what I can do.” I said returning her smile, only smaller.


    “Good. Now what made you so grumpy?” She asked, nudging me. I stiffened, not wanting to admit it. It’s awkward, and I did a bad thing. Though, I suppose I didn’t hurt anyone. But I think it was creepy. I don’t want her to dislike me.


    “I don’t know. I’m not sure I can tell you.” I said scratching my head. She tilted her head and squinted.


    “Why not? Is it something to do with me? Naughty secrets?” She asked with a chuckle.


    “No. No, it’s not you.” I chuckled back. “It’s…” I sighed. “It’s Sable’s boots.”


    “Oh? What about them?” She let out a small fake gasp. “Did you try them on?”


    “No! I…” I paused, slightly baffled, squinting at her sideways, then continued. “They… I was supposed to take them up, but before I did, I got… curious.”


    “Curious? About why they fit you?” She asked, smiling to make sure I was in on the joke. I chuckled back at her.


    “No not that. They fascinate me, and I can’t figure out why. I can hardly take my eyes off them and her pants. I just wanted to know why.”


    “Hmm, a boy being fascinated by a cute girl, definitely sounds abnormal.” She jested. I laughed. “That’s not too bad. What did you do?”


    “I…” I hesitated, glancing at her. She raised her eyebrows expectantly. “I tried to examine them.” She snickered.


    “That’s it? What’s so bad about that?”


    “I don’t know.” I grumbled. “They’re not mine, and I touched them without permission, and I felt…gross.” She blinked at me expectantly. “Maybe even creepy?” I added with a small shrug.


    “I can understand that. It’s not fun when people go through your belongings without permission. At least you understand that. But why do you feel so guilty about it? All you did was touch them, right?” I nodded.


    “Yeah basically. I was trying to find out what the difference was, and the only thing I could come up with was the smell.”


    “The smell?” She asked. I cringed.


    “Is that creepy? Please tell me it’s not creepy.” She bobbed her head from side to side.


    “Generally sniffing someone’s shoe ware isn’t a great thing to do.” I hung my head, ashamed.


    “I knew it.” I groaned. She laughed.


    “I don’t think it’s terrible, though. I’ve heard much worse. Besides, you were just curious. That’s a big part of discovering your sexuality is curiosity, exploration, trying things out and seeing what sticks. This was you being curious. I don’t fault you for that. And to be honest, I don’t blame you.” I looked at her, confused.


    “You don’t?”


    “No. You can’t help the interests you were born with. Yours just happen to be a bit more… exotic, I would say. And if I were in your position, I don’t know how I would go about it. It would be awkward to go up to Sable and ask…” She puffed up and made her voice deeper. “Hey Sable, mind if I borrow your boots for a bit? I really want to give them a big strong whiff.” I snickered.


    “Yeah, that’s not how I’d do it.” I said, laughing.


    “Though now that I think about it, I don’t think she would really care.” She said laughing.


    “She probably wouldn’t. She’s great like that.” I chuckled. Leola nodded, smiling. We both took long breaths and sighed them out.


    “Is there anything else you need to talk about?” I thought for a second. Thought about asking her why I got the feeling of falling when I was with her. Why I was fascinated by her sometimes. Or why Sable and Céírde fascinated me. But decided I’d had enough awkward fun for one night and shook my head, smiling.


    “I think I’m good for now. Thanks Leola.” She smiled and stood, offering me a hand up.


    “Right. Back to celebrating.”