Once again, it has been a dreadful day. I reluctantly wake up and slowly get out of the floor. As I pull back the curtains, the soft or perhaps intense sunlight streams into the room. It has been quite some time since I last feltthe warmth of the sun, having unknowingly isolated myself from the outside world.
There is only one life, and despite all the pain, I am determined to move forward. Giving up is not an option... not anymore.
Certainly, let''s restructure your text into paragraphs to make it more organized and readable:
It''s not a joke anymore, not like it ever was, but... 3 years— almost 3 years without seeing the outside world, isolated from the world. My family was the one that had it harder, as the "Crown prince" of both Bragan?a and Alexandria, I had a lot of responsibilities, but that was easy, after all, I was a prodigy, the genius of both Alexandria and Bragan?a— genius huh... not really.
People always praised me for everything I did. Why is that, you ask? Because it''s true I was flawless in everything I did, or at least that''s the way I was perceived. But I am not a genius, and I know that very well. All that they saw was not talent, it was dedication, effort, perseverance, and more.
I wasn''t able to do a lot of things correctly, and when it happened, I cried. I would go to my room with some pretext and cry and cry some more. I gave it my all, so much that I would fall asleep dreaming of training, to reach the levels that made people praise me as a prodigy, I put all my effort.
Mana, you ask? My mana core was so strained from overuse that I felt pain walking, still, I did not stop because I knew it would work as I planned for my future. Super strength? From where I am from, no one with my age was my equal. Fighting style too, I know a bit of all principal styles, but my main is the "Imperial blade of the deviant," and I''m a deviant master at this point.
If I was traveling, I would just use my head to challenge myself, be it with mathematics, etiquette, languages, and more, in other words I would not stop improving myself.
It was tough, I won''t lie. I shed so many tears, but you know what? No regrets at all. I poured my heart and soul into becoming a better person. All I ever wanted was to make my family and people proud, and most importantly, be proud of myself for how far I''ve come.
And you know what my ultimate dream is? It''s to unite Alexandria and Bragan?a, creating the most epic empire this world has ever laid eyes on! I wanna fight for that number one spot and get all that this world has to offer.
After that, the sky''s the limit! I wanna build a freaking paradise, a place where everyone''s just happy and content. I know it won''t be a piece of cake, and it might not seem possible right now, but hey, it''s my dream and one of my biggest goals. Although, I gotta admit, It will take time, even more with my current situation, but I will get to that eventually, first of all I''ll destroy my enemies the ones who made me hide myself from the world... from this cruel world.
Huff huff— I''m panting and shivering, and it''s happening once more. I can feel myself starting to tremble, and this is not good. I really need to find a way to calm down before I end up hyperventilating.
I hate feeling this way, it''s not like I''m scared... right? But damn, it seems I''m still afraid... why did all of that have to happen? I didn''t want things to end like that, but I was weak. Thinking I could protect myself was my biggest mistake. The thought of not being enough makes me want to cry sob— I don''t want to feel powerless or out of control ever again. All I ever wanted was to be happy with the people I love, so why did that have to happen? This fear just won''t go away, and it hurts so bad. I can''t stop crying, but it also makes me so mad. I feel lost...
*Breathing*
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
***
It took some time, but I finally got my head in the right place. It''s frustrating to think about the time I wasted, but that''s just how life goes sometimes.
I believe that trauma does not completely vanish, but rather can be effectively managed to a more bearable extent. This is my viewpoint, and I intend to test this hypothesis starting today.
All I need is an unwavering conviction. If I don''t help myself get back on my feet, no one else will. Or, at least, they won''t be able to.
I am determined to move forward without looking back, without letting my past hold me down or haunt me. Above all, I have the confidence that I will achieve my dream.
Which will catch up to me first, my dream or my death? Who knows... I''ll still bet on my dream, though.
I''ve always been the type of person who either goes all in or doesn''t go at all. While I don''t mind losing multiple times, whether it''s 10, 100, or even 1000 times, there are times when I am truly invested in winning. In those moments, I give it my all and leave no room for mediocrity. Despite there being only two options - winning or losing - I believe there is a middle ground called intensity that can make the difference.
Moving forward, I wonder what day it is today. And which month corresponds to today''s date. I believe I know the year, but it wouldn''t hurt to double-check.
It seems to be the 17th of August, 1877. Time passes rather quickly when we are not constantly checking the unfolding events.
I am now 21 years old; time certainly flies.
It has been almost 3 year since I secluded myself. I am aware of the numerous rumors circulating about me, but I am indifferent towards them. I am more concerned about the reactions that will follow once I reemerge, after carrying out my actions that will undoubtedly astonish my family''s kingdoms, and almost certainly the entire world.
First, I will visit my family and apologize for my actions, which include isolating myself despite all the love and support they have shown me.
To begin, I need to analyze the current global situation. In order to achieve my objectives, it is essential that I possess a comprehensive understanding of my surroundings.
Currently, there are officially recognized 77 empires and 147 kingdoms in existence. Additionally, some autonomous territories exist, although their numbers are relatively small. These territories predominantly fall under the control of churches, as religion heavily influences global dynamics. Hence, it is only natural for such territories to be under their jurisdiction.
I was born in the Kingdom of Bragan?a, which is ruled by my father. It holds the 20th position among the most influential territories. Additionally, I have familial connections to the Empire of Alexandria through my mother''s lineage.
The global population is nearing 70 billion people, and with a circumference of approximately 330,000 kilometers, the world is well-populated, neither excessively crowded nor sparsely inhabited.
Having a larger number of individuals contributes positively to the overall outcome. Achieving the top position out of a group of only 10 people does not generate such a satisfactory feeling. However, attaining the first position among 100 people already starts to evoke a sense of accomplishment. Yet, if we were to compare being first among 70 billion people, the magnitude of that achievement would be unfathomable, leaving me unable to comprehend the emotions experienced by the person in that particular position.
I desire power - the ability to destroy my enemies, those who have tormented me, not only that of course. This power would enable me to create a peaceful world, where children can freely laugh, run, and play without the constant fear of danger. While I possess a kind heart, I reserve it for those who have earned it. I am not hesitant to display cruelty when the circumstance demands it, not anymore; however, it is not a preference, but a necessary act. Considering the imperfections that exist within our world, there are times when intervention becomes essential, and I am the one called upon to fulfill that role.
I always remember what my mother said to me "freedom is not the power to do everything you want but the power not be subjected to what you don''t want to do", the more I think about it the more I believe that''s what freedom truly is.
For now I''ll be using distortion magic to render myself unrecognizable. In addition, I will dye my hair black in order to conceal my naturally white hair and wear brown contact lenses to hide my distinct green and purple eyes. Having so many unique features can be quite problematic when I''m trying to conceal myself. I don''t know anyone with white hair and heterochromia, let alone this rare heterochromia. It is a shame that I must resort to dye my hair and put on contact lenses, even with distortion magic; however, such precautions are necessary as there are always individuals who possess superior magical abilities and can see through my illusions, thus destroying my plans.
I find myself in good condition even after isolating myself, my mana circuits are stronger than ever as well as my super human-strength, unfortunately I did not improve my "imperial blade of the deviant" to a higher rank, isolating myself made me complacent in a lot of aspects but at least I did not stop training the basics.
There are 10 ranks be it "Magical" or "Superhuman".
Imperial blade of the deviant has 9 ranks. (Sword and fighting style)
I guess I got somewhat stronger but still far to be able to realize my goals)
18 years - Magical rank - 6 (Master class)
- super-human rank - 6 (Master class)
- Imperial style rank - 6 (Deviant master)
21 years old - Magical rank - 7 (Regent class)
- super-human rank - 7 (Regent class)
- Imperial style rank - 6 (Deviant master)
I guess now I''m pretty happy, as of today, I decided to meet my family after all this time, I wonder how they''ll react when they see me again. -I giggle a little reminiscing about them.
When you isolate yourself, you tend to think too much and do too little. This is currently happening to me; I find myself overthinking without taking much action.
Well...
A shower for starters before I leave to Bragan?a and let them know I''m back and... what I''m about to do.