Chapter 249: Bite me


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Stop gawking. Your te is right there. The grilled fish is getting cold.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Yoruichi chided Kazuya in a firm voice, yet a blush crept up her cheeks as she caught his gaze. A warm, affectionate gaze that spoke a million words without so much as a squeak; the gaze made her utterly self-conscious after their intimate act in the bedroom.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Kazuya reached out, his thumb brushing a smudge of milk from her lips. “A glimpse at this golden-eyed catgirl can satiate every need in a man’s life.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">{If I had a dor for every time you lied to women, I’d have a couple hundred bucks to my name, which is a lot in the current era! <span style="font-weight:400">}


    <span style="font-weight:400">Nami’smentary fell on deaf ears as he had no interest in anything besides Yoruichi at the moment.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Yoruichi narrowed her eyes sharply, a hint of annoyance in her expression. “Why did you make me cook then?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">She had spent thirty precious minutes of her life preparing the dishes, only for Kazuya to barely touch the fruits of herbor. She wasn’t hurt, just perplexed about his actions. The thought of the dishes tasting awful didn’t cross her mind — she had taste-tested everything before presenting them to him. They tasted decent enough for breakfast, with plenty of nutrition.


    <span style="font-weight:400">He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “The meat is three or four times saltier than it should’ve been.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">He had tried to eat without showing any difort, but his efforts had been futile. Despite all his evolution, his taste buds remained the same as humans. The food on the te wasn’t made for humans.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Yoruichi knitted her brow, looking even more perplexed. “It wasn’t salty when I tasted it. Strange…”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Yoruichi, did you consume anything other than milk in the past few days?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Ah.” Her eyes snapped wide in realization. Sticking out her tongue, she rubbed a thumb across the dry, sandpapery surface. “Woah! My tongue also changed!”


    <span style="font-weight:400">He chuckled, seeing the usually wise and proud Yoruichi ying with her tongue. “The Hollowification affected your whole anatomy. You’re the first Shinigami to not only have a tail and cat ears but also their tongue. I’m so proud of you!”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Well, you know what? I’m also proud. I always found cats cute. I’d have taken your Zanpakutō’s bullet if Hollowification gave me something like a dog’s ears. Yuck.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“…Dogs aren’t that bad.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Yoruichi leaned closer, narrowed eyes gleaming with a murderous glint. “Did you say something?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">He licked his lips. “I said dogs are better than cats.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">The bold remark earned him a re from the golden-eyed former captain. Unfazed, he pushed back his chair and walked towards the door.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Yoruichi smacked the table. “I hate you.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">***


    <span style="font-weight:400">Kazuya made his way to the 4th Squad. Rather than dawdling around the premises, he made a beeline for Unohana’s office. His only business was with Unohana. A bloody and violent business that made him equal parts exhrated and apprehensive.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Strangely, Isane’s Reiatsu retreated from Unohana’s office as soon as he stepped foot into the barracks.


    <span style="font-weight:400">{She still can’t face you. Gosh, how can she be so cute?}


    <i><span style="font-weight:400">‘Don’t talk to me, you traitor.’</i>


    <span style="font-weight:400">{W-What did I do to deserve that title?! Partner, I need answers, or Tsubasa and I are going on a Zanpakutō strike.}


    <i><span style="font-weight:400">‘You sold me out to Yoruichi.’</i>


    <span style="font-weight:400">{About that… When I saw her rope, I became a victim of my morbid curiosity. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Yoruichi bing your sexless sex friend. But all’s well that ends well, right? Right?}


    <i><span style="font-weight:400">“Does sex feel good, Father?” </i><span style="font-weight:400">asked Tsubasa curiously. <i><span style="font-weight:400">“It must feel heavenly if Father engages in it all the time. Even Izanami wishes to partake in it with such fervor.”</i>


    <i><span style="font-weight:400">‘Let’s talkter. I’m busy now.’</i>


    <i><span style="font-weight:400">“Okay…”</i>


    <span style="font-weight:400">Unohana was already waiting for him at her door, a half-amused smile ying on her lips. “Isane didn’t want to see you. What happened at your ce to make my poor girl even more shy?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I just asked her out. Before you say anything, I was very nice and polite.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“That silly girl…” Unohana let out a sigh. “She has to be more assertive, else a delinquent like you will continue taking advantage of her.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“If you’re worried, why don’t you date me as well? That way you can make sure Isane is treated fairly. You’ll be the bncer of power dynamic between us.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Unohana brushed off his smooth proposal with a calm smile. “The insignificant passion I have in my heart is reserved for… Forget about Isane. You’re here for training. Let us proceed to a more suitable location — to the hills where flowers bloom.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Huh?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Without waiting for his response, she strode down the stairs. Emerging in the open area, she drew her katana and plunged it into the earth. “Mend the broken flesh, Minazuki (Flesh-Drops’ Gorge).”


    <span style="font-weight:400">The de quivered as viscous, green fluid burst forth from the hilt, coalescing into a massive silhouette. As her katana vanished, the gurgling flesh sprang to life.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Unohana’s Shikai took the form of an immense, manta ray-like creature, its slick body supported by two talon-like feet. A single, unblinking eye gazed out from its face, while countless teeth lined its grinning maw. Perhaps, it was grinning. No one except Unohana could read the creature’s thoughts.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Wow, Captain’s Shikai is cute like her,” he whispered, confusing Unohana whether he was being sarcastic towards her or talking to himself. “Retsu, does it bite?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Minazuki’s master carries enough bite for both of them.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">He pulled back his sleeve, baring his wrist. “In that case, bite me.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Silently, Unohana gave him a side nce before shaking her head and getting on top of Minazuki. “Come, let’s not waste more time.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Completely ignoring his yful whims was less effort and time than entertaining him.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“If you insist so much.” He hopped aboard the giant manta ray and took a rxed seat on its back. “I have to say it’s prettyfortable.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Minazuki pped its wings and took off into the sky. In the barracks, many nurses and Shinigami stopped in their duties and waved their hands at Unohana, wishing her good luck on her excursion. She returned their well-wishes with a serene, close-eyed smile before taking a seat beside Kazuya.