Perhaps I was unsettled, so I couldn''t sleep soundly. After all, I had nearly been raped and
trafficked.
I wondered how the old Stephanie Carlson would have handled it if she had been in that situation.
She probably would have attacked Howard and Bobby with the knife before handing them over to
the police, wouldn''t she?
Regardless, I wasn''t that Stephanie anymore.
Sometimes, I couldn''t help but wonder if I was the Stephanie Carlson whom Steven loved. If Steven
still loved that Stephanie, then was I — who had lost those memories and personality — the person
he loved?
If a person''s character had changed, would they still be considered the same person?
"Stephie… I want you to live on, that''s all I ask."
"Steve… You can''t hold me back."
"Stephanie Carlson, please don''t be so cruel to me."
"But I have no heart… "
I had a nightmare. In the dream, I kept hurting myself, trying to end my life with all kinds of methods.
I was seeking an escape.
Steven chained me up, cried, and begged me not to continue. He even went as far as hurting
himself in front of me, threatening to end his life alongside mine if I wouldn''t stop hurting myself — I
watched him coldly, without intervening.
"If you want to die, I''ll go with you; if you want to hurt yourself, I''ll do it too," Steven threatened,
though his voice sounded pleading.
I gazed at him coldly, struggling to break free from the chains. "It''s no use, Steve. We can''t escape
from this… I''m a monster. I won''t genuinely have feelings for you. Even if you were to die in front of
me, I won''t shed a tear for you."
Steven looked at me in despair, the knife in his hand fell to the ground, blood dripping from his
fingertips. After a long silence, he spoke with reddened eyes, "Are you hungry, Stephie? I''ll go buy
you something to eat."
Then, he left, consumed by deep despair.
In the dream, I struggled desperately, the shing sound of the iron chains causing my chest to
ache terribly. I wanted to shout out to Steven, to stop him from hurting himself.
"No… Steve, don''t. Steve!"
I woke up from the nightmare, breathing heavily, sweat dripping from my forehead and saturating
my hair.
Steven hugged me from behind and whispered, "Stephie… did you have a nightmare?"
I looked at Steven, still breathing heavily, and after a long pause, I leaned into his embrace.
I wasn''t sure what my feelings for Steven were now — reliance, or perhaps something more… With
those missing pieces of my memories, I wouldn''tbel it as love, though.
"Please don''t hurt yourself anymore, okay?" I said softly, gently touching the scars on his wrist with
my fingers.Exclusive content from N?velDrama.Org.
Steven''s body noticeably tensed as he held me. "Does it pain you if I do, Stephie?" he asked softly.
I could sense he was hoping for a certain response, as though he had been waiting for this answer
for a long time.
I struggled internally, persuading myself that I had to give him the answer he wanted, even if it was
only a lie.
"Steve… " I held his wrist and whispered, "It pains me if you do."
After a long pause, Steve suddenly kissed my forehead excitedly and rolled around with me in his
arms.
I was left speechless, finding his reaction was rather childish.
"Stop rolling… " I protested, ending up lying on top of him.
Our position was too intimate; with one wrong move, something might identally unfold.
As Steven gazed at me, I couldn''t help but marvel at his stunning eyes, though I had always been
aware of their beauty.
"Stephie… " Steven whispered my name, his expression as joyful as that of a grown-up boy.
"You''ll always trust me, won''t you?" I desperately sought reassurance.
"I''ll always… recognize you at first nce," Steven pressed my head and nted a kiss on my
forehead.
I leaned against his chest, quietly listening to his heartbeat.
"It''s still early. Go back to sleep," Steven whispered. But I found myself no longer feeling sleepy.
Seeing that I had no intention of moving, Steven shifted his body carefully yet ufortably. I didn''t
notice anything unusual until I felt his body temperature rising.
"You''re torturing me… Stephie," he whispered in agony.
My ears flushed as I quickly sat up, unintentionally causing more difort for Steven.
I swiftlyy down on my side, turning my back to Steven, and remained silent.