Chapter 204: Shift in Focus
T had a n.
Well, that wasnt precisely true.
t had the beginnings of a n, and T liked what she was hearing.
-<em>We have this lovely packet of information within our head, provided by the arcane Be-thric. I think I shall process it, and extract all that I can.-</em>
<em>That sounds reasonable. Ill see what I can see of the city, then.</em> T hesitated. <em>You know, I dont think I can fake being Tali convincingly.</em>
<em>-Yeah. That might be a problem. I think I canpartmentalize our mind, so that she cant remember us, or our memories. Then, I can bring her out, and we can let her do what we need her to.-</em>
<em>Thats a bit dark. Isnt that basically enving a sub-personality?</em>
<em>-Tali isnt a person, T. She is a mental construct based on fabricated memories.-</em>
<em>Isnt that what any given person is? Our personalities were forged by our experiences. She was forged by what she thinks she experienced.</em>
<em>-T, lets not do this. She is you, if you went through what she thought she did. In the same vein, I am you, if you existed in a purely mental space, with ess to all that I have ess to. And YOU are you, with the experiences that you have gone through. We arent three distinct entities. We are the same person, with different experiences.-</em>
<em>I know</em> T shook her head. She was being a bit ridiculous.<em> It still feels bad, lying to myself.</em>
<em>-Do you want me to expose how you are lying to yourself in other areas?-</em>
<em>Nope!</em> T was wise enough to not go down that road. Some self-deception could be healthy. <em>After all, Im not allowing myself to contemte how vanishingly unlikely it is that we actually get out of this alive</em>
<em>-Exactly.-</em> t did the mental equivalent of shifting with awkward nervousness.
T sighed. <em>All right. I think that I can work with that frame of mind.</em>
t projected grateful affirmation. <em>-Good. Now, be careful. If we have to put her inmand, she will act as she should. Meaning, if there is no good reason for </em>her<em> to be where you are, she will be confused.-</em>
<em>So, keep up pretenses, even when Im me.</em>
<em>-To the best of your ability, yes. That will make the mask of Tali fit better, and work better, when we have to use it.-</em>
<em>Understood.</em> So, there had to be a good reason to be wherever she went. That was probably safer anyways. <em>So, I get to delve into Talis memory to see what she would want to do for her afternoon out?</em>
<em>-Ive bifurcated the memories so that they dont get jumbled. Here, twist your power like this, and think in this way.-</em>
T followed ts instructions, and suddenly, she knew what Tali would do. It was obvious. That didnt make it easy or natural, but she knew. <em>Huh, Im even sitting differently than she would.</em>
T sat up a bit straighter, adjusting herself in little ways, until she matched how Tali would have been sitting. Itwas actually morefortable, and she felt more in control of herself. <em>Rust me to g.</em>
-<em>I think youll find a lot of the nuance simrly instructive. It seems that Be-thric was genuinely interested in making Tali, well you, into the best weapon he could. Well probably learn why through the ceremonies preceding thepetition.-</em>
T nodded, noticing that she nodded both slower, and lessdecisively than Tali would have. <em>Oh, this is going to be exhausting.</em>
She took a moment to analyze the difference. What did each way of nodding signify? What social signals did it send? <em>The quick, decisive nod conveys confidence, a decision made, resolve. The slow nod denotes thoughtfulness and consideration.</em> Obviously, it wasnt as simple as that. T often nodded more decisively, and Tali seemed to have nodded consideringly when events dictated such, but in general, the enthralled version of her was more decisive.
T shook her head, refused to contemte how Tali would have responded, and stood, reaching to clear the table of her tray.
<em>Tali wouldnt have cleared it. There are servants for that,</em><em>paid to monitor the za. </em>T hesitated, then shook her head and picked up the tray. <em>Yeah, but Im not a jerk</em>. She quickly wiped the table, leaving it cleaner than when shed found it.
<em>I can learn from her, without emting her. I am me, and I decide how I act.</em>
-<em>Do try to act like she would outwardly, though. Itll help us blend in better.-</em>
<em>Im not going to leave a mess behind. Thats just rude.</em>
t projected confusion. <em>-There does seem to be some odd conflicts between your memories and base self and her memories and self.-</em>
<em>Of course there are, were different people.</em>
<em>-No, I mean your base self is restructuring itself in opposition to what Be-thric tried to make Tali into. Youd never have cared about the mess on the table before. You would probably have taken the tray, but youd not have wiped down the surface before doing so.-</em>
T dumped the tray out into a waste bin before putting it onto a stack of others. <em>Really?</em>
<em>-I cant find a memory of you acting that altruistically before. Fascinating.-</em>
<em>So, being exposed to so muchhigh-and-mighty-ness made me kinder?</em>
<em>-No, I dont think that I would go that far, but there are definite repercussions, it seems.-</em>
<em>Huh.</em> T altered her walk, falling into Talis gait and posture. Again, it was both morefortable and easier. She could feel that this stride pattern allowed her joints to move just a <em>bit</em> more naturally, and would let her muscles be used more efficiently. <em>Im going to need to spend a couple of hours going through all my exercises and martial forms if I hope to get used to this. Even more so because my muscle structure and tone have shifted slightly. Its making everything weird</em>
<em>-I am actually trying to focus, here.-</em>
T looked within her own mind and found the mass of foreign power, waiting there. <em>How is it still active? I have memory of it being put in ce months ago, and hes never added power to it. It doesnt pull from me. How is it still intact?</em>
<em>-I think it isnt active, unless some bit of information is required. It contains enough power to impart each bit of information exactly once. It actually is a pretty ingenious bit of spell-work. Before you ask, Ive analyzed it in detail. We have itsplete structure in our memory now, so we can pass it on. Im going to be prompting magics for everything I can think of to try to suss out everything it can tell us. Now, shoo, go explore, or whatever. Tali liked the overlook.-</em>
T sighed, skirting around the outside of the market square to stay as far away from the central pir as was reasonable. <em>Ill do my best.</em>
She was still in awe at the city around her, though she hadnt really been able to take the time to really let it soak in.
The buildings were a wide mix of architectures, seeming toe from different sensibilities. Most of the doors wererger than she was used to, to give easier ess to therger species that shared the city, though some had regr sized entrances, and a few even had doors sized for the smaller folk.
When she looked closer as she walked past, those seemed to be clothing, or other establishments, geared towards those on the smaller size. Their doorways were a part of the way they advertised who their target clientele were.
T tried not to stare as she passed a table with three beast folk and a hue man.
The mans skin was a burnt orange in color. His eyes and hair were a nearly sapphire blue.
The beast folk were a mixed bag. One seemed to be rted to some type of lizard, with incredibly small, green scales in ce of skin. She was still clearly female, with her most human features taking on a decidedly unnerving cast. The hair on her head seemed much thicker, but otherwise resembled human hair.
The woman beside her looked like some sort of cat person. At least thats what her ears seemed to indicate. Where the lizard woman was clearly non-human, the cat woman only had cat ears and slitted eyes.
The final was another man, with curled horns which swept in tight coils over his ears. His hair was light and fluffy and white. The mans legs were also animalistic under the table, with seemingly reversed knees and everything.
T saw thisst feature by covertly dipping her bloodstar down to inspect their legs as she passed.
They didnt seem to notice her scrutiny. Despite all of them being from Higher races, their mana density varied just a bit around the halfway mark between yellow and green.
The group of four didnt seem that unique in the za, though, if anything they were an oddity for being so close in power as a group.
Most sets of hue and beast folk had quite a spread of power, though all were above orange. In each miniature social setting, it was obvious that the person of greatest power, whether male or female, hue or beast, was dominant, the others giving obvious physical cues to that effect.
With an internal question, T confirmed that that lined up with what Tali would have expected, power was <em>everything</em> in arcane society.
While scanning the crowds as she walked, her eyes kept being drawn to the prime feature of the area, and she found that distasteful.
Wanting to keep her focus from the more unpleasant things around herself, she let her feet carry her based on where Tali would have gone and focused inward. It was a weird sensation, honestly.
It almost felt like she was following someone who wasnt there.
But that wasnt important at the moment. She began delving into what Be-thric had taught Tali, and there was <em>a lot</em>.
The most critical things were about her magic, as it seemed that the arcane had been displeased at thebat effectiveness Tali had demonstrated, early on.
Thankfully, T and Talis fundamental understanding had remained the same. That likely went deeper to the core of how their spell-workings functioned than it would have been productive to alter.
As T sorted through what Tali had learned, a single exchange with the arcane onyx, hue man stood out in her mind.
Tali had been practicing her gravity maniption, and Be-thric had asked her to describe what she was doing to amplify gravity.
I lock onto my target, lock on to the thing I wish to augment gravity towards, and then amplify that connection.
His words in response had shaken Tali, and as T recalled them, she felt her own eyes go wide. Why do it in that order?
ts attention was jerked back from the spell-working within their mind. -<em>No Thats thats too simpleright?-</em>
T wordlessly bent and picked up a stone as she continued walking.
She targeted the rock with ease. <em>Increase.</em>
There was nothing for it to have its pull increased towardbut power still began to build.
T felt her heart begin to race, her breath quicken in excitement.
-<em>Isis that working?-</em>
<em>I dont know. In the worst case, Im just wasting a little power.</em>
<em>-Whats your mental model for that?-</em>
T considered. What was she thinking, what was she dumping power into?
It felt like<em>Asso. I have asso of power thats building up power and momentum, waiting to be looped over something.</em>
That wasnt quite what she was imagining, but it was the closest thing she could easily put words to.
She let the power continue to build, and noticed that it took an act of will to keep the stones amplified gravity from simplytching onto her hand, or some other random object.
<em>So, I cant just build up power in a dozen different things and pull them out at need. I have to prep it right beforehand.</em>
Still, this was a game-changing shift in her use of her power. <em>Assuming it works.</em>
She couldnt let herself be too excited. This was too big a development to take for granted until shed tested it all the way through.
Tali had trained to use this, but T hadnt. What that meant in practice was that T <em>knew</em> exactly what to do, how to act the most efficiently, and what pitfalls to avoid, but it wasnt natural for her to do so.
Using her power in this way just wasnt instinctual for T as it had be for Tali.
<em>Six months of dedicated training does a lot.</em>
<em>-And now, we get to benefit from having her as an internal trainer, in a sense. Someone with your exact skill and magic set, ahead of you in ability, who can pull you along.- </em>t sent through a cautious joy. <em>-Not only that, but she can show us </em>exactly<em> what it feels like to do each thing properly.-</em>
It was perfect. Though, in truth, thinking too deeply about Tali still made T feel sick.
<em>This does not make our situation worth it, but it does seem to be a worthy start at rpense.</em>
T was slowly walking up a long boulevard which seemed to be sloping towards a nearby overlook. She wove around other pedestrians, staying out of the way of vehicles and mounted folk. She didnt pay them any special attention, as she was fully bent towards the continued <em>Increase</em>.
The crowds slowly thinned along with the buildings to each side, as she neared the top, and finally, at the overlook, there were only a few people, all seemingly havinge for the view.
T couldnt focus on the view yet. Her mind and will were utterly dominated by the need to keep the proverbialsso spinning, building power.
Shed been doing that for close to half an hour, meaning that the amplification was orders of magnitude more powerful than anything shed ever done before.
It was at that moment that one of the ravens hopping around the overlooknded near her, ring its wings and shrieking.
T jerked in surprise, her focus moving to the bird in startlement.
The active magic seemed to seize on her shift in focus, and the other end of the working snapped into ce, locked on the bird.
<em>Oh</em>
Before the thought had even started to form, the pebble was <em>torn</em> from her grip. Her insane strength was nothing before the forces involved.
An ear-splitting <em>crack</em> tore through the air and the temperature jumped a few degrees in a wave. Only her magical defenses prevented her from having an eardrum burst.
A second, more resonant yet quieter crack followed in the same instant. At the same time, Ts vision was cut off by a cloud of gore.
The stone had impacted the avian with such ballistic force that the bird had been rendered into a violently expanding cloud of indiscernible spray.
Beyond the bird, the pebble had turned itself into powder against the roadway, though it had cracked therge, magically hardened paving stone in the process.
Ts clothing had already shed the bird mist, but the film still covered Ts face and the expanding cloud of bird had wrapped around her in a rolling wave.
Ts whole body shuddered at the nauseating grossness of the whole thing.
<em>Holly, wherever you are, bless you for your anti-vomit scripts.</em>
With her bloodstar, T saw that a lot of the people nearby were staring her way with looks of confusion. None were close enough to have been pained by the loud sounds.
None seemed to be higher races, and none seemed to have mage-sight or the equivalent. So, there was no reason to think that she would be in danger from them.
Even so, T had to admit that she must be a strange sight.
The ground around her was painted red in an irregr circle, centered on where the bird had been. The generally gory mist was still settling outward.
No one else had been close enough to be sprayed, and it seemed like most people didnt really understand that a bird had just met its end.
One bird based beast man was already vomiting into a waste bin, however. Though, she wasnt sure if hed had good enough eyes to see, or if some avian camaraderie had caused a sympathetic reaction.
<em>-That is a ridiculous theory.-</em>
<em>Im not exactly thinking clearly.</em> T aspect mirrored her elk-leathers self-cleaning onto herself, and shook her head, sending a cascade outward to join the other red on the ground.
<em>Ohrust; that was gross.</em>
Then, T spun on her heel and strode purposefully towards the far corner of the overlook, not making eye contact with anyone else.
<em>-So much for not drawing attention.-</em>
T ignored t. <em>I need a bath</em>
Thoughts of a bath died in her mind, however, as she looked out over the city.
Shed seen this exact view before, through Talis memories, but there was something special about seeing it herself.
It was utterly unlike a human city, at least those shed seen.
Buildings, and loosely organized districts, spread out haphazardly in all directions.
Theyout seemed to have simplye about randomly over the course of the citys life, no central group or n responsible for maintaining efficiency.
<em>This city has been here for thousands of years.</em> The very idea boggled her mind. She knew it was possible, intellectually, but it was such a foreign concept that it was hard to grasp.
In some parts of the metropolis, massive towers reached towards the sky, though those were rare.
Tali had been curious, so shed looked into their construction. It took massive amounts of magic to reinforce the structures that stretched hundreds of feet into the air. It was a disy of wealth more than anything. Though, ironically, it was both less expensive, and less efficient, than simply establishing a hold.
<em>But to have a hold, you have to have a fount of your own. The towers can rely on ambient power once theyre built.</em> Though, there was apparently a very expensive permitting process before that could happen.
She moved her focus from the details and just focused on the overall feel of the ce.
It was tucked against the mountain range which rose up to the west. With her enhanced vision, she could vaguely make out what could be the shadows of trees to the north. To the east, rolling ins stretched into the distance.
While the forest to the north <em>might</em> be the same forest in which Makinaveny, she didnt know.
T had to hold back sudden tears as the true magnitude of her circumstances settled down atop her.
<em>Were a long way from home, t.</em>
<em>-But well make it back.-</em>
<em>Do you really believe that? Do I?</em>
<em>-We have to.-</em>
T didnt answer. Instead, she simply took time to quietly let tears roll down her face, as she gazed out over the city, below.