Chapter 245: Despair_Millennial Mage

Chapter 245: Despair

 Ts world was filled with a buzzing that was as much visual as auditory.

 She vaguely felt t guiding her in her choice of words and actions, briefly expressing shock that she wouldnt be allowed to protect Pir Be-thric on the venture and requesting time to process the news.

 It was granted, and T retreated into her sanctum.

 No

 No.

 No.

 No

 This cant be happening.

 That was my way out. My way home.

 No.

 No.

 No.

 -T?-

 No.

 No.

 No.

 -T.-

 No. No, no.

 -T!-

 T snapped her head up, looking around in confusion, trying to find the person who had dared interrupt her. What?

 -T. Pull yourself together. Im in your mind.-

 She groaned, lowering her head back down onto her knees.

 In her brief moment of outward examination, she saw that she was sitting on her bed, curled up beside the massive window, and the sun was setting. Shed either been there for an hour or so, or more than a day.

 -Just an hour. Youre not that far gone.-

 Im nearly a thousand miles gone. T snapped back, desperation and fear tingeing her response

 -So? What now?-

 Now? I adjust to a life in a gilded cage, bowing and scraping to a monster who stole everything from me in a fit of childish stubbornness.

 -Sure, you could do that. Or?- t left it hanging, the unanswered question grating on T.

 Or? Or! I cant do anything! She paused. I cant do anything.

 -Yeah, you said that. I dont think that-

 No, no. You arent listening. I cant do anything. But the Pirs could be convinced. She sat up, taking her overwhelming despair and pushing it aside.

 It was not ovee. It was not banished, but the flickers of hope kept it from suffocating her once again.

 I need to speak to Meain. Im out of my depth, here, and she might know what we can do.

 She called up some water and ensured her face was clean and clear. She used her mirrored perspectives to check her physical state and fixed what was awry.

 Thanks, Kit.

 The source of water did not respond.

 T straightened herself, hardened her resolve, and summoned the exit to her sanctum.

 T would have a feast awaiting her return in her own sanctum, so she would be fast.

 It was easy to find Meain once T was back in the House of Bloods hold. She was in her office of sorts, dealing with petitions of one kind or other.

 The elf looked up from her writing desk as T entered. Ahh, Eskau Tali. What brings you here this evening? Are you well?

 T shook her head. Honestly, no, Eskau Meain, Im not doing well. I am to let Pir Be-thric go into hostile territory, alone. This goes against everything I have worked for, everything I am.

 The truth and fervor of Ts words thrummed through the room, though that truth was not as the elf would interpret.

 I will not stand idly by while he goes on such a mission. I should be with him. It is my duty. It is required.

 Meain gave her a sad smile and nodded. I can understand the sentiment, truly I can, but the council has spoken. There is nothing you can do about it, without their permission.

 Then, how can I change the ruling? How can I gain their permission? She spoke firmly, resolved in her goal.

 What do you mean?

 It is my duty to be beside Pir Be-thric. If I cannot apany him on this mission, I dont know what I will do. Her voice and demeanor wavered on the edge of cracking as she spoke thest. Still, she hardened herself and continued, Is there anything that I could do to sufficiently impress the other Pirs, that they might change their minds? Is there anything that I can do to convince them? Anything.

 Meain looked troubled by that. While Imend your fervor, especially with regard to little Be, the word of the council is sacrosanct. It is not for us to question or seek to change.

 Im not seeking to force a change. I am seeking for them to make a change, and I just want to know what I can do to make that attempt. Surely such has happened before.

 Wellyes. The council does asionally alter its rulings on an issue.

 That is what I seek. How can I attempt to aplish that?

 You cant, Eskau Tali. The conve hase to an end, the decision has been made and the Pirs are already on to other business. None have departed, but the motion is closed. Only a member of the deciding council could bring it back up, and none would be open to discussing their decision with you. They might even penalize you, or Be, if you tried. Please, dont let your ardor make things worse.

 T closed her eyes and groaned quietly, flopping into a nearby chair. Thats a dead end then.

 -What next?-

 If I cant change the councils decision, there must be ways of going around the councils decision. Things have to be flexible under certain circumstances, else the House would have fallen due to unforeseen happenings.

 -And if that doesnt work?-

 T grit her teeth. Then, I can ask Be-thric if he can put any pressure on the others. He said he tried before, but maybe he can try again.

 -That sounds like an unpleasant option.-

 Hence, why its thest one Id choose.

 -Fair enough.-

 Tali?

 Ts eyes snapped open, and she beheld Meains concerned expression. The elf had set her paperwork aside, and was turned fully towards T.

 Are you alright?

 T shook her head. Honestly, no. II dont know how to handle this result, this decision. I never even considered the possibility, if Im being honest.

 How is your head? Do you feellike yourself?

 She frowned. What? Of course, I do. What is sheoh. T barely kept from reacting. She knows about the mind alteration. Shes concerned that this is threatening the integrity of my false mind.

 -Thats an interesting angle. But I believe that if we suggest that to Be-thric, hes more likely to try to fix us than to work towards a change in the decision.-

 Yeah, we should nip that in the bud. I am just frustrated that I wont be allowed to do my job.

 The elf seemed to examine her closely, leaning forward just a bit. Finally, she smiled, nodding to herself as she leaned back. That isudable, Tali. It truly is. I wish I had better options for you.

 I appreciate your time, regardless. I apologize for bothering you unnecessarily. T stood and bowed.

 It was no bother at all. It is my pleasure to help younger Eskau.

 Until tomorrow, Eskau Meain.

 Until tomorrow.

 T returned to her sanctum and to dinner.

 She was still shaken, teetering on the edge of emotional copse, but she actually had some ideas on how she could proceed.

 -We really did stake our hopes on this mission, didnt we.-

 You think?

 -Yeah. A back-up n would have been wise.-

 Ill remember that for the next time were kidnapped.

 -You better.-

 She was careful to keep her emotions hidden and to thank the chefs profusely for each course, even though she barely tasted the food. Cant let them see

 When they were finished for the night, well after dinnertime for less voracious eaters, they left her with a huge pile of extras.

 T called the exit into the kitchen so they could leave more easily, and thanked them once again.

 Then, in silence and istion, T ate, not really tasting the food, and contemted what was toe.

 * * *

 T woke early the next morning, having stayed up well into the night the night before thinking and restoring her reserves.

 She moved through her morning routine with unthinking efficiency, only pausing at a prearranged time to allow the chefs direct ess to her kitchen once again.

 She stretched and exercised physically, magically, and spiritually.

 As the chefs had arrived early, they had time to make rather moreplex creations than she had expected.

 Thus, after her bath and refreshment of her inscriptions and iron paint, T was able to enjoy baked eggs and bacon nestled within manyyered pastries.

 Though, for some reason, they didnt taste quite a good as shed have expected. Its fine. Im sure its just me.

 She was also provided with a wonderfully dark tea, mixed with near-caramelized milk. This, this is what I neededright?

 Alongside the savory repast, arge spread of fruits and berries provided by her sanctum wereid out for her. A well bnced breakfast. Yeah, this will help. 

 The food and beveragebination was an ideal way to greet the day, and so T did just that, watching the sun rise upon her own private sanctum.

 The chefs, having done all the requisite work quite early, were ready to depart to let her eat in peace. Pardon, Eskau Tali.

 Hmm?

 Would you be able to summon the exit for us?

 Oh! She was grateful for her iron paint, which covered her blush of embarrassment. Of course, yes.

 She called the door out, and the chefs departed.

 Thank you! She called out after them, as the door closed. Smoothreally smooth.

 WIth a sigh and a self-reproaching shake of her head, she turned back to her breakfast.

 As she contemted her situation, she decided that she felt much better after a nights sleep, which for her was only a couple of hours.

 She was still a hairs breadth from panicking, but that hair was much sturdier, now.

 I can do this. I can find another way home.

 -Thats the spirit! Enjoy your very pastries and dreams of freedom.-

 T looked down at her breakfast, then rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Sometimes, I hate you.

 Even so, a smile was pulling at her lips.

 You are really, really odd sometimes.

 -Oh, I know. I feel like its because of our divergent natures. What seems an obvious solution to me, makes no sense to you, and vise versa. Thus, what I feel is a perfectly good joke elicits an I hate you rather thanughter.-

 T took a long draft of her dark tea, choosing to change the subject rather than address such an esoteric topic at the moment. This is so good. It reminds me of coffee, in a way.

 -Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. Is it really wise to take up a drink that so closely resembles your previous addiction?-

 T shrugged, taking another long pull. Probably not.

 -Ahh,edy gold. I see it now. You truly are the joke master of this mind.-

 She found herself smiling. I am d youre with me, t. If Id been alone

 -Yeah-

 If Id been alone, Id never have been at all. This body would belong to Tali, and TIwould be gone forever, worse than dead. My flesh and soul to be puppeted by a sycophantic murder ve.

 -Thatthat sounds like the title to a fun book.-

 What? Sycophantic murder ve?

 -Yeah.-

 Seems really one note. I feel like it wouldnt be that interesting for very long.

 -Probably true. Though, the title would be to draw people in. Thered have to be nuance within the pages.-

 Yeah, but Tali didnt really have nuance. She had a veneer of personality over pure utility.

 -True enough. Tali isshe isnt aplete person, not really.-

 Speaking of our own little sycophantic murder ve: We might need her in theing days.

 -I assumed as much. Ive finished restructuring her memories to remove inconsistencies and level out her mind. It isnt perfect, but I assume you arent nning on turning over control for extended periods?-

 Not too long, no, but I do want her to be coherent when she is in charge.

 -Then, perfect. Were good to go.-

 Thank you. T munched into another pastry, kept magically hot on a te provided by the House of Blood chefs. I am getting spoiled in so many ways, arent I?

 -I find it better to avoid pointing such things out to youbut yes.-

 T snorted augh, turning her attention back to the stunning vista arrayed before her. Take joy where it can be found.

 -And conquer sorrow as ites.-

 It was going to be a busy day, but she still had a couple of hours. Siege orbs?

 -Siege orbs-

 They werent as convenient as the tungsten because their greater mass meant they dragged on her if she had them outside of Kit.

 Wait a moment Her eyes widened, then she startedughing. Oh, Ive missed an obvious application, havent I?

 -That thats pretty interesting, actually.-

 Ill make siege orbster.

 Less than five minutester, she found Thron reading a book in one of the gardens of her sanctum.

 Tali! Good morning to you. He seemed a bit tentative in his greeting, as if trying to gauge her mood.

 Why? Oh She felt herself sadden. No. I am moving forward. Thorn, I have amission I want you to work on for me.

 Oh? He perked up, seeming to have noticed her momentary dip in mood but not focusing on it.

 What is the strongest, most durable metal we have avable?

 Honestly? The white metal from the guild-hold.

 T blinked a few times. Wow I didnt think of that, and I should have. She chuckled, shaking her head.

 t startedughing. -I didnt think of that either.-

 Thron frowned. Tali? Is everything okay?

 Well, no, but I think what I want will be easier than Id hoped. She grinned. Thank you for pointing out the obvious!

 He grinned back at her. I am happy to assist.

 T gave a little wave, then willed herself down into the underbelly of her sanctum.

 Ios body was nearly finished growing, and the purple tank filled the space with a marbled, ever shifting light. Thankfully, the automaton body hadnt moved or shown any impetus to do so.

 Im not here for you. Not yet. She patted the side of the tank distractedly.

 T called one of the ingots of white metal to her and pushed her will and power into the material to begin reshaping it.

 I need to deal with the armor recovered from the drake at some point. It seemed that Kit had consumed the reality drake, and her limbs oddly enough, but left the white metal for her to recover. She just needed to reshape it. Another time.

 T focused on the ingot in her hands and formed it into a bar with a nearly triangr cross-section, but with two sides bowed outward.

 More than anything, it looked like a stupidly thick scale.

 That is, in fact, exactly what it was.

 With an act of will and power, T shaved off one scale, barely a fifth of an inch thick.

 -I think thats a bit too thick, given the strength of this material.-

 T grimaced. Youre probably right.

 With a sigh, she slumped just a bit. Another failure

 -Hey, now. Not a failure at all. Nothings broken, nothing''s done.-

 T hesitated, collecting herself to a degree.

 You know. Were going to be using this against really powerful opponents. This is a bit thicker than what my elk-leathers had covering me.

 -Would a bit more thickness actually help?-

 Thatsfair. She sighed. I can probably get these impressed with durability or defensive magics, but not here, not now. Plus, that would be a bit frustrating to maintain.

 -Lets try the base premise of your idea before we overplicate it. I think about a tenth of an inch should be plenty thick, honestly.-

 T shrugged, rbining the metal before severing a thinner scale.

 She held the scale up to the bottom of her tunic and began amplifying the gravity of the scale towards that section of leather. It wasnt fast, but it did work.

 After just a couple of minutes, she was able to remove her hand and the scale stayed in ce. She would ramp it up further, and while she did that, her hands were free.

 I have more capacity than this.

 She severed a few more scales, having to remake one or two because of her still distracted mind, and began amplifying them all, carefully cing each.

 -It looks like its working.-

 T found herself grinning. Yes. Yes, it does.

 Two hourster, she had covered most of the front of her top with small white scales.

 She peeled off the vest shed formed of elk-leather and broke the leathers connection to her outfit. That will now be a good base for the scales that I can doff and done at need.

 The scales ttered to the floor, and T let out a yelp of surprise.

 She covered her mouth and closed her eyes. Get it together, T.

 T shook her head, banishing the tears from her eyes before they could start to gather.

 -T?-

 Im okay. Just give me a moment.

 After a deep breath, she lowered her hand, opened her eyes, and stared down at the pile, regarding the mess before her. Then, she groaned. Oh, that was foolish of me. I just substantially changed the nature of their target.

 -Well, at least you have a ce to work from, now. You proved the premise.-

 That I do.

 As each of the scales would be gravitationally attracted to a single, discrete part of the leather, they wouldnt press on her, nor harm the leather, but they would contain the amplified gravity she needed for a quick re-targetting and attack.

 Rather than running around with a couple of dozen orbs affixed to her clothing, she would have a hauberk of scale-mail, ready for each scale to be a deadly projectile.

 If I dont make another foolish mistake. She sighed. She didnt have time to start again. Not right then.

 She had an appointment to keep with Be-thric.

 Im going to need your help, t. I dont want to be near him right now. He was a means of escape, but now hes just the source of my captivity, no matter how opulent.

 -Im here, T. Im not going anywhere.-

 T took a few long breaths. It probably would have been wise to take some time to level myself earlier, eh?

 -Probably, but youre coping pretty well, honestly.-

 She snorted augh.

 She didnt want to go, not now.

 Be-thric was going to negotiate with one of the few other major Houses in the city for a protian weapon, and the presence of his Eskau was critical for proper presentation.

 Im a symbol of power for my kidnappers. I am the mighty right hand of the one who tried to take everything I am.

 -And you will smack him down with that power soon enough.-

 T took another deep breath, nodding. I will watch for an opening. With the cor in ce, I dont foresee oneing, but my eyes will be open. We will find a way to be free.

 -Thats right we will.-

 No one will keep me, no one will dictate my future but me.

 She felt her back straighten, her stance solidify, and her head lift.

 She knew it was a hollow confidence, born more of desperation than certainty, but she didnt care. She would find a way to fill the void and concoct a remedy to this disaster.

 Alright. Lets do this.

MillionNovel

Chapter 245: Despair