Chapter 286: No ce for Deception
T sighed, nodding as she reached the end of what she had to say, Thats a pretty good summary, I think.
It had taken a few hours, and noon was approaching.
Nadro had only interrupted once to ask if she was alright with him eating as she continued. Shed agreed, and theyd both eaten off and on throughout her tale.
She obviously hadnt been able to give many details, but she had been able to hit the highlights of her homelife, her time at the Academy, her first contracts, her reunion with her siblings, her capture and time as an Eskau, and finally, her return to the human cities.
<em>Wow thats a lot when thought of all together like that.</em>
<em>-Well, it did take you a while to convey it. I dont think Ive heard you talk that much ever.-</em>
<em>I suppose thats true.</em>
Nadro had listened throughout, only interrupting the once. Even then, he seemed to have chosen carefully, and only interjected at a natural pause.
Early on, he had pulled out a te and writing implement, seemingly taking notes as T monologued.
Even with the writing, he had maintained a good amount of eye contact, easily conveying that he was listening intently without staring her down.
Now that T was done, he took a few moments, ncing at his notes asionally, but also looking out the window once again. Finally, he nodded to himself.
Thank you for sharing all that you did. I cannot fully understand all that you have experienced. It is possible that no one alive can, despite the horrors of this world. Even so, I have heard you, and I appreciate the vulnerability and forthrightness.
He then fell silent once again.
For some reason, T felt a wave of relief. As she considered, she realized that shed been afraid he would immediately try to fix her, or tell her that he knew what shed gone through, or try to get details from her, or any number of other things.
He hadnt.
He had simply listened.
Thank youshe took a sip of her refreshed teafor listening.
He smiled and nodded again. Of course, Mistress.
There was another long moment of silence.
Nadro seemed to be contemting, before he finally decided what to say, So, there are several things that we can do, now.
Oh? T felt herself tense slightly. <em>Is he going to try to fix me, now?</em>
The look in his eyes was one of utter sincerity. First, you could tell me what you want to aplish, and I can advise you.
T grunted at that, but she felt herself rx just a bit. <em>That doesnt sound too bad, though I dont know what I actually want</em>
He smiled. We could also simply schedule to meet up again and talk further. I am happy to listen to anything that you want to discuss.
She shrugged. That would probably be nice, but it didnt seem like what she needed.
I could also give you my opinion of one or two things that I believe might help you.
T sighed and nodded. There it was, an attempt to fix her, but somehow, it didnt feel that way. Rather, it felt like a friend offering advice, rather than someone trying to make her right. That actually sounded relieving. Honestly, I feel like Im so deep in this that I dont know where to start.
So, would you like us to try thatst option, then?
She smiled. <em>Kind of him to double check.</em> Yes. Please.
He smiled. In that case, I have two suggestions.
T sat up a bit straighter, leaning forward just slightly.
From your story, my understanding is that you have an Archive attached division within your mind. You called her your alternate interface, and t is the name she prefers.
<em>-Well, he did hear at least some of what you said.-</em>
<em>It would be pretty hard for someone to hear my story without knowing who and what you are.</em>
<em>-Thats fair.-</em>
I do. What of her?
I have something simr, though he goes by Retson. A small smile pulled at the mans lips, likely due to some personal knowledge regarding the name. If you are willing, I think that t and Retson should speak via the Archive. It shouldnt cause any disruption to you or me, and it will help your alternate interface process as well.
T shrugged again. I have no issue with that. Let me check.
<em>t?</em>
<em>-Sure? Might be interesting.-</em>
<em>Dont let him convince you to give me the boot, eh?</em>
t sent a huff. <em>-Of course not, T.-</em>
Yeah, thats fine.
Good, I will set up thatmunication.
<em>-Done!-</em>
T smiled. Seems like its done.
It is. Archive connections are a wonder. He smiled, seemingly at a simple joy.
-<em>Oh this guy is exactly like Nadro.-</em> There was a minute a pause. <em>-Ha! This should be fun.-</em>
T stretched her neck slightly to either side, growing hesitant again. What was the second thing?
Nadro leaned forward, seeming to purposely rx as he set his hands on his own knees. My advice would be to confront Tali directly, and deal with that splinter of your mind once and for all.
T stiffened. Why?
He gave her an understanding smile. You have a segregated part of your mind that you absolutely reject. Holding that within yourself isnt healthy or good for your long-term health and growth. He leaned back and took a sip from his own mug. In a sense, we are each many different people. Who we are with one group versus another. Who we are in battle. Who we are when holding a child. But they are all <em>us.</em> We cannot divorce them from ourselves or from eachother. We cannot reject who we are. A warrior should be gentle with a babe. Do you know what that means?
Not hurting the child?
He chuckled. Quite, yes. But gentleness, specifically? Do you know what that means?
Soft?
Some would say that, yes. But in truth, gentleness is strength under control. If you dont have strength, you cannot keep it under control, thus you cannot be gentle. So, the warrior is strong whether on the battlefield or when holding his infant. In both ces he acts differently, but in both ces he is using his strength in a controlled manner to aplish what he wishes. He is the <em>same person</em>, though he acts differently.
T frowned but nodded slowly.
Tali is <em>not you</em>. She is, in theory, someone that you could have been, but you are not her. You are no more her than an actress in a y <em>is</em> the character they pretend to be.
Whats your point? T was shifting, a bit ufortable.
What would you say to an actress who had divided her own mind, so that she could create a part of herself that <em>believed</em> she actually was that character?
She chuckled nervously. That sounds a bit extreme.
He smiled at that. True, I suppose. Would you advise her to keep that segregation? After the y was over? After the story was done, and she would never be asked to y that part again?
T didnt answer, and Nadro seemed content to wait.
She had finished another cup of her tea before she finally answered.
The segregation should be let go.
He nodded but still asked, Howe?
Because it is a lie; it is a seed of falsehood that can grow and fester if left in ce.
Nadros eyebrows rose. That is fairly harshnguage.
It is a harsh reality. T felt her resolve firm. Allowing a lie, a false identity to remain sequestered in my own mind will do nothing good for me.
He took another drink.
In the silence, T felt more stir that she wanted to say, What could have been doesnt matter, does it? I am not Tali, no matter how much I pretended to be, no matter how many people knew me as her. It wasnt really me that they knew, but the character I was pretending to be. The lie that I put forward because I didnt feel I could be the real me, the me that exists, grounded in reality.
He smiled sadly and continued to wait.
I dont want to be her. Though parts of her are in me, the core of who she was isnt. I cant let that lie form me, neither positively by embracing it, nor negatively by rebelling against the simrities. Either would be treating the characterthe lieas if it were real.
After another lengthy pause, Nadro leaned forward. So? What would you like to do?
I want to tell her the lie of her own existence, then break down the division between us, excise the false memories, and recontextualize what I experienced while forced to be her.
There was another pregnant pause as T felt tears building in her eyes.
I want to tell her how much I hate her for what I had to do because of her. I want to tell her Im sorry that she was a lie. I...she swallowed and wiped away her tears. She hadnt cried in the retelling, but this was striking much closer to her heartI want to tell her that I forgive her. My suffering wasnt her fault, even though she was an indirect contributor. I want to eliminate thest stains of Be-thric from my mind.
Nadros smile was full of empathy as he continued to listen.
Tughed and wiped away some more tears. Im sorry. That was that was a lot.
Mistress T. You never need to apologize for the truth, and I think what youve said is a deep truth in your heart. Thank you.
She smiled and shrugged. Ive taken your whole morning.
I set it aside for you, Mistress. I do have an appointment after lunch, but I can postpone it if necessary.
T waved that notion away. No, no. This has been good I think.
He smiled. I agree. I have enjoyed getting to know you, Mistress T. He stood. Would you like to meet up again?
T stood as well, setting her cup to the side. She frowned for a moment, then nodded and smiled again. Yes. I think I would like that.
Im d. I trust that Retson and t can set something up for us? He tilted his head to the side for a moment, then nodded.
T gave a shallow bow. Thank you. Thank you for your time, and thank you for listening.
Absolutely. Its more than my job, Mistress. We must care for one another if we are to thrive.
With a thought, T caused the door out of Kit to appear behind Nadro.
He gave her a shallow bow, taking onest, long look out the window. Stunning, truly. Few have mastered the art of dimensional space creation like the arcanes, at least not since the restoration.
With a shake of his head, and ast smile sent her way, he turned towards the doorway out like hed known it was there all along.
T hesitated.
Before he could leave, she decided to go for it, If I may ask?
Nadro stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He didnt turn back. Yes, Mistress?
How advanced are you? I dont see any inscriptions on you, nor can I sense your gate or aura at all. I dont sense a through-spike, nor any other form of concealment. Ive nevere across such perfect magical control.
He smiled, turning towards her then, and bowed deeply. Thank you, Mistress T. That is an incrediblepliment, especially from you, now that I know your story.
She shrugged. Its just the truth.
Even so. He hesitated for a moment. You know, someone with my level of control can fake any level of advancement, even to magesight as advanced as yours.
It was her turn to grin. Ahh, but you said there was no ce for deception with you.
Heughed then, obvious smile lines and crows feet showing on his face along with the genuine mirth. I did, didnt I?
T waited, taking a cue from him.
He waited too, smiling, but finally, he nodded. I am who I am, Mistress T. I think you, as much as anyone, will be able to ept that.
Without another word, his aura was suddenly visible.
Ts eyes widened, and she felt herself tremble.
Kit quaked, seemingly also able to sense the man.
Before she could recover to respond with anything, Master Nadro had hidden his aura once more, and exited Kit, closing the door behind himself.
T sunk backwards into her chair.
Master Nadro was decidedly human, he bore every hallmark that she knew to look for.
She had checked, because unlike most humans she knew, hecked a gate.
Even so, her verification had been reflexive, faster than thought, her conscious mind frozen at the color of the aura presented to her.
<em>Indigo.</em> And simply because of her enhanced vision and ts ability topare, shed been able to see, <em>Indigo with hints of violet. Hes Ascending.</em>
-<em>No. He doesnt have a gate, T. He would need to advance as the arcanes do.-</em>
<em>Hallowed</em> Shed been right before, he didnt have any inscriptions, but he didnt need them. At least, he didnt need them anymore.
In the brief unveiling, shed seen his natural magics thick with power and detail. The dimensions of magic around the man were carved as deeply as any shed ever glimpsed, though she couldnt interpret them at all.
There had been so, so much in that brief glimpse that as T processed through all of it, she didnt notice noone and go.
It was mid-afternoon before she shook herself free of her rumination and stood once more.
-<em>Are you ready?-</em>
T nodded to herself. She could deal with the existential questions brought up by finding such a powerful humanter. T already had thousands of questions, but it was not the time. Most of them likely ovepped in one way or another, regardless.
<em>Yes. It is time to deal with Tali.</em>
Less than a minuteter, T was sitting on the hill shed upied the previous night.
<em>-I believe I can do what youre thinking.-</em>
<em>Good. Lets do this.</em>
t used the same method that allowed her to show T books that werent really there to create a duplicate of T in her own vision.
<em>No, not a duplicate. Tali.</em>
The woman sat with closed eyes, her posture subtly different than Ts own. Her head tilted down just a bit, showing default subservience. At the same time, her shoulders were a bit straighter, her confidence more prevalent and obvious than it was for T.
<em>-Were ready for your part.-</em>
T nodded, moving a bloodstar to hover in the center of the apparitions head. She then mirrored her perspective onto the bloodstar and handed ess to and control of that perspective over to t.
t, in turn, activated the part of their mind that was Tali and passed the perspective to the false personality.
Talis eyes snapped open, immediately focusing on T. They widened in shock, but just for a moment.
The Eskau had a phantom of Flow in her hand in an instant, even as she lunged to nt the de through Ts throat.
T didnt react as the weapon passed harmlessly through her. <em>Fascinating. Could you make me feel that?</em>
<em>-Now is hardly the time, T. This is harder than you might assume, maintaining the illusion for you both.-</em>
<em>Fine, fine.</em>
Tali.
The woman stopped, looking down at her weapon in confusion.
Sit. There is much we need to talk about.
The Eskau red but dropped into a seated position. T could practically hear what the woman was thinking.
-<em>Oh! I could let you hear, if you want.-</em>
T almost said, Yes. but that could be confusing, and it would be against the spirit of what she was trying to do. <em>No, but thank you.</em>
What magics have you worked to protect yourself from me, imposter?
T sighed. I am T. You and I are the same person, Tali. More urately, I am the person who was kidnapped and erased so that Be-thric could create you.
Taliughed. Master has no need of disloyal creatures, and anyone willing to say such a lie cannot be considered loyal.
Be-thric is dead.
Tali paled. What? That is no. Thats not possible.
By my hand. Or, as you would see it, our hand.
She flushed red with anger. Liar. I would never hurt him.
They had kept that memory locked away from Tali, as there really was no reason try to reconcile it for the fake personality, given T had never intended to use her again. <em>Please let her see the memory.</em>
Tali gasped, eyes widening again and the wash of color in her cheeks draining away. Lies. Horrid, obviously false lies.
T shrugged, sighing with deep weariness that shed not really noticed creeping up on her. I dont need you to believe me. I dont need anything from you. I dont need you at all.
Tali growled but didnt say anythingseemingly quite off bnce stillbefore T continued.
I conjured you up
-<em>Excuse me, you?-</em>
<em>Do you really think that it will make things easier if I tell her about you?</em>
<em>-Fair-</em>
As I was saying, I conjured you up for very specific purposes, and nothing more.
She narrowed her gaze, obviously wary. What would those be?
To say goodbye, and to tell you that Im sorry that you were created to be abused and subjugated. Your existence was a lie from the beginning. You are a lie, created to control <em>me.</em> Nothing more.
Tali opened her mouth, rage building on her features, but T lifted her hand, and Tali was unable to speak.
<em>Thank you.</em>
<em>-Hey, this is easier on me.-</em> t sent a shrug.
We will not meet again. There was a long pause while the other woman silently raged. T knew that she would be heard when she spoke, despite Talis actions, I forgive you, Tali. You were as much a victim as I ever was. I forgive you. T gave a soft, mournful smile. Goodbye.
The apparition vanished, and T felt something break down within her mind.
In that moment, everything that Tali had experienced mmed into Ts consciousness, and the memories rushed through her as if she were back in that time, again. She was a passenger, forced to watch as she acted out a horrid y.
Before, shed had the memories there, separated and isted. She could reference them, but she was only able to ess them in a theoretical sense.
Now?
Now, T <em>lived </em>them.
She threw her head back and screamed at the sky, feeling every emotion, every lie, every death.
She screamed, and the world within Kit trembled at the force of it.