Chapter 42
Eat. I made it.
Lina stared at the lunchbox in front of her.
An exquisite container emitted a faint, pleasant aroma.
Blink. Blink.
Linas head tilted upward.
Ian ckangers.
He was looking at her expressionlessly.
As if that was supposed to be a cool expression.
But now Lina knew.
He must have shown such kindness to others, whether yesterday or today. And that kindness had a purpose.
Lina always maintained her kindness.
It was both her nature and the expectation of others, the framework that surrounded her.
Regardless of the other persons actions, she had the warmth and gentleness to treat them kindly.
But despite being that way, Ians appearance suddenly angered her.
I had some expectations, even if they were small.
It was different for him.
It wasnt a big emotion, but there was a tiny, subtle curiosity that was different from the anticipation she felt toward others.
A fluttering feeling that it was somehow different from the others.
What trampled on that was none other than Ians attitude.
And now, seeing him shamelessly offering a lunchbox, anger welled up within her.
Linas face flushed lightly.
Warm rosy cheeks.
For the first time in a long while, her anger at Ian momentarily surprised even herself, and she bit her lower lip.
Is it because Ive been too nice that he sees me as easy?
That was the reason.
A hairline crack appeared in Linas kindness, as small as the expectations she had for Ian.
Unconsciously, she directed her frustration at Ian.
Are you giving me this lunchbox to eat?
Yeah.
Why?
The question was cut off in single sybles so coldly that even Lina herself was embarrassed.
.Huh?
Ian stupidly asked.
His stupidity seemed to mock her, fueling her anger even more.
Why are you giving it to me?
Ian ckangers acting, which was supposed to be cool, was immediately shattered.
The guy started stuttering.
Thisthis is. Well. I, Im alone. That, I-I had leftovers.
Oh, I see. Youre alone making it. Did you want to take care of others from a different ss like you did for me?
No. Its not that. The lunchbox is only for you.
Ah. This lunchbox is only for me?
Lina smiled habitually.
But the corners of her lips trembled.
Thats really an honor. But why me?
Um?
Why me?
Well, thats. Its just that, somehow, I found out that your family situation is difficult. So, I wanted to take care of you a little.
To take care of her.
Normally, she would have felt grateful for the good intention.
But why did he have to do it in such a way?
Ha!
Her insides boiled.
Irritation surged.
For some reason, she felt these emotions for the first time.
And so, words just burst out.
Do you think Im a beggar?
Oh, no its not like that.
Then what is it? Why are you giving me this?
That, um. Because you looked hungry.
Ian was visibly embarrassed.
It was infinitely pathetic.
Lina grabbed the offered lunchbox.
Aha, I see. Youre just pitying me.
Ah.
Well, friends can take care of each other like this, right? Isnt that so?
Uh, yeah. Because were friends.
Friends.
He came here in person today to confess.
She could tell by looking at his attitude.
Lina could tell. Thats why she deliberatelyughed.
Ah~ Sorry, hahaha! I think I misunderstood a little. Were you trying to confess to me by any chance?
Friends wouldnt do that, right?
Yes.
Thats right. Thanks, Ian. Ill dly ept your sympathy.
Its good to care. Even pretending to be cool lets say thats fine.
But no matter how kind Lina is, she has her pride. Ian brutally shattered that.
Pathetic b*stard.
Lina grabbed the lunchbox and turned away.
Hey, Lina
She ignored whatever he mumbled.
Bang!
Since it was just Ian and her in the room, there was no one to see.
With all her strength, she closed the ssroom door.
Then she went up to the rooftop, where she could be alone.
Lina leaned against the wall and sighed.
The lunchbox that the unfortunate guy handed her.
But she had to eat.
Without it, she would have nothing to eat today.
She opened the lunchbox.
Ill always support you. I like you.
When she opened the lid, she saw the side dishes engraved with these words.
Oh, my.
Thinking about throwing the lunchbox he prepared, she hesitated.
Growl.
Lina meticulously crushed the side dishes, making the words almost invisible.
Then she ate.
Ha.
Eating that lunchbox brought a whirlwind of emotions.
The slight favor she felt when he first prepared something. The sense of betrayal she felt knowing he did the same for others. And now, eating it, a feeling of self-doubt.
The hole in Linas kindness appeared back then.
That hole was Ian ckangers.
And a dayter.
Ian jumped from the rooftop.
During the week he was gone, various strange incidents urred.
His absence was deeply felt.
The desk that was always full was now empty.
She was slowly hitting a limit.
The kindness that confined her was choking her.
She hoped someone would rescue her from this.
And one day.
Dring!
The ssroom door opened, and he returned.
She was surprised. She heard he got seriously injured. She thought he would nevere back.
At the same time, Lina sensed something.
Ian waspletely different.
The first thing that changed was his gaze.
His eyes, which used to look uncertain and somewhat pitiful, were different now.
They became extremely cold. It was hard to even make eye contact.
Clunk.
And his support, the lunchbox, everything, was gone.
He acted like he perfectly forgot the past few days.
As if he deliberately didnt show any interest, ming Lina Rosewell herself.
A very urate answer. Student Ian!
Thats a good approach. Its creative. Follow me for a moment after ss.
Participating actively in ss, receiving praises from professors, and achieving good grades.
Yet, avoiding eye contact and ignoring her with just a nce.
Thump
Suddenly, her heart raced at that gaze.
Huh?
She was perplexed. Why? Ian was someone she should dislike, wasnt he?
Then she realized.
Ian was no longer looking at Lina confined within the framework of kindness. He looked at her beyond that, cold and indifferent.
Ian, who loved appearances more than anyone, suddenly showing a suspicious gaze made her surprisingly interested.
Lina had wished for this. Someone to break her image.
How?
She was curious about why Ians gaze suddenly changed.
The opportunity came during the Shadow Forest practical training.
She wanted to ask when they became a team.
But things didnt go well.
Instead, whispers were heard.
If Ian surpasses you, wont you lose the schrship?
The whispers skillfully manipted the direction of her emotions.
The deep emotions hidden by kindness rose up.
Anger.
Jealousy.
Aggression.
Those emotions poured out through the hole in her heart.
The hole created by Ian ckangers.
He betrayed you. What about your will? Do you think he can be your savior?
Come to think of it, she originally disliked Ian.
She loathed him.
Lets get rid of him.
She nodded in agreement with the whispers.
He seemed to be a suitable target.
Lina woke up from her thoughts.
She looked around.
Everything was pitch ck.
It was still the space inside her consciousness.
Then she realized.
What she just experienced was like a near-death experience.
The emotions settled as if it were a lie.
In the end, I didnt want to be kind.
Being kind to herself was too difficult.
She had suppressed various dark emotions within her heart.
Ian had pierced through it, and they burst out.
All the emotions poured out towards him, even those he hadnt stirred up.
In this process, she listened to the whispers.
The result was this situation.
She lost her reason due to hatred towards Ian.
She sumbed to the whispers, and perhaps she was about to die soon.
Ah
Ian was just the first badly fastened button.
If only she had been more honest when he confessed for the first time,
I appreciate this, but I cant ept your feelings.
It could have been resolved more honestly.
In the end, Lina herself was cowardly.
She needed the items Ian gave her, she needed the lunchbox, and she needed him to take care of her.
So, unable to express it verbally, she stored it deeply within her heart.
That became a small hole in her chest, and through that hole, all the previously unexpressed negative emotions burst out.
Even if she hated Ian.
Linas reaction to him pouring out her emotions was excessive.
If you think about it.
She realized it.
Ultimately, it was because Ian ckangERs seemed kinder than her, perhaps a bit more approachable.
Wake up, Lina Rosewell.
Ians voice faintly echoed.
Was it from outside her consciousness?
Suddenly, tears flowed from Linas eyes.
I want to live.
She didnt want to die like this.
She wanted to go outside and be more honest now.
So, she wanted to talk to Ian first.
Im sorry.
Taking for granted what he did for her, ignoring only him among many people, and pouring out hatred and attacks on him alone.
So, she apologized.
It seemed her mind was getting strange or weird sounds were heard, or something felt wrong.
But there was no need for such excuses; she knew it was all because the things she had stored in her heart became stronger.
Im like trash.
Because she was a fool who only pretended to be nice to fool others.
After all, she was a piece of trash who took out her anger on Ian, who was nicer.
She wasnt just a person who was always kind.
Ive always wanted it
She always wished for someone to scold her, correct her, and firmly point it out.
So.
I should have not been just foolishly kind.
Now she knew, and thats why she wanted to apologize.
Sincerely.
Im sorry, Ian. Im sorry.
And she would probably have to face the consequences.
Because she was no longer the kind Lina Rosewell.
Come on, scold me.
She had done something wrong, so she needed a painful punishment.
Linas eyes were filled with tears.
Please save me just this once.
Then she leaned on Ian again.
It was really shameless, as she thought.
However, if that wish reached someone.
The surroundings began to brighten, as if a ray of light was falling into the deep sea.
As if being pulled up by a fishing hook,
Linas consciousness slowly surfaced.
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