Grace used the wet cloth to dab at her eyes, hoping to reduce the redness at the corners. She hadn’t realized how much she had cried or how little sleep she had gotten last night. She was just grateful that Sebastian hadn’t seen since he had left their bed early this morning to go check on the fields. She sighed heavily, feeling a crushing weight in her chest as her mind betrayed her by immediately replaying the ball. As she left her chambers she wondered how she would be able to conduct herself with her raging emotions…
‘How am I going to face Sebastian today?’ She thought as she walked down the hall, her brows drawn down. It was horrible, but she hoped that his duties would keep him busy while she tried to sort herself.
“Ah, good morning gorgeous.” His deep voice sounded from the bottom of the stairs as she reached them and she barely hid a grimace at her luck. He smiled so openly at her that she also felt a small stab of guilt as she forced a smile in return and descended the steps. His brows drew down and his smile slipped for a moment before he seemed to shake himself. He came to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him as his lips lowered. She couldn’t stop the flinch as they made contact. It was more painful to know that as soon as he touched her she melted, wanting him just as strongly as before while also craving more.
“Grace?” He whispered, obviously feeling how stiffly she was holding herself. Hoping it was convincing, she shook her head and smiled up at him.
“Forgive me, I’m feeling a bit tired this morning.” She said and although his brows lowered, he didn’t inquire further into her excuse. Instead he softened and lifted her chin with his fingers as he drew her closer.
“Well then, if my wife is in need of cheering-how does a ride sound? I will happily put some time aside if it means I get to spend it with you.” He whispered, his voice husky and flirtatious, a sound that made her legs shake. Subconscious heat pooled in her stomach, but the pain in her heart intensified as well. She wasn’t ready to be alone with him yet and her panic made her response harsher than warranted.
“Not today...I-I have already made plans with Liam.”
“Liam?”
“Yes...We-he told me that he would show me the local shops so I could familiarize myself with the area.” She said and knew that it was a weak lie, but prayed he wouldn’t question it.
“Oh. Perhaps when you return-” He began to suggest something else, but her growing panic consumed her and she didn’t hear him as she pulled from his grasp. She gave him a shaky smile, unable to meet his gaze as she weakly extracted herself. Since she didn’t look back she completely missed the stunned hurt on Sebastian’s face.
“W-well I should go find...Liam so we can...I’ll return soon...” She fled the room, searching for Liam so she could convince him to accompany her off the property. Distance is what she most craved at this moment, she needed to get away long enough to sort her thoughts. Maybe if she could distract herself enough, she could find a way to accept everything she had learned and move past it.
It took longer than she thought to find Liam, running into Annabelle first as the girl came out of the larger library. She didn’t look good, her moods still swaying between normal and devastated.
“Anna? Sweetheart are you okay?” Grace asked, stopping the girl momentarily in her retreat. Anna nodded, but her eyes said otherwise, tears threatening to spill. Grace frowned, wondering if she should put aside her own worries to tend to her sister. Anna must have read her intentions for she brushed off Grace’s hand and gave a slightly more convincing smile.
“I’m just tired. I’m going to go rest for a bit. It’s actually a sound suggestion.” She whispered the last cryptic words that made Grace’s frown deepen before continuing on her path to her chambers. Grace stood there pondering their meaning when raised voices reached her in the hall. She moved closer to the library and recognized the two arguing.
“You can’t force her to go out when she doesn’t want to.” Aiden said, his voice sounding harsher than Grace had ever heard before.
“It isn’t healthy to stay locked in her chambers all day either. She needs to be around other people in order to get past this trifle thing.” Liam argued back and Grace peeked around the door to see them squaring off, both had their arms crossed defensively.
“Listen doctor, to Annabelle this wasn’t a trifle thing. She’s genuinely hurt and doesn’t need someone pushing her past her limits. Stay away from her or you’ll deal with me.” Aiden growled and both Liam’s and Grace’s eyes widened at his tone.
“I wasn’t aware that you were in a position to give me orders.” Liam bit out and Aiden turned his back to him, heading towards the exit and Grace.
“Tell Sebastian if you wish, but see to it that you also heed my warning and do not push Annabelle again. Brother or not, I will forgive no man for making her cry.” He spat over his shoulder and in his haste almost collided with Grace. He reeled back, his eyes widening as his cheeks heated along with hers. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
“Milady...You were...I-I apologise that you had to overhear that...please...please excuse me.” He bowed and strode away from her, his hands fisted at his side. She turned slowly to see Liam rubbing the back of his head, looking sheepish.
“Sorry Grace...That was...Well maybe I did go a bit over in my pushing. I just worry about Annabelle locking herself up. A sad soul can’t be healed as easily.” He said and she gave him a small smile.
“We’re all worried about her...and Aiden has a right to be protective of her after he witnessed what she had endured.”
“Ah...Sebastian did mention when you two were taken. Forgive me. I will apologise to both of them.” Then he returned to his usual smile.
“Now what is it that my lovely sister wished of me?” He asked and her original purpose for seeking him out made her mood instantly darken. He must have noticed for his own face fell with worry.
“I was wondering if you would accompany me on an outing to the village.” She said, knowing that her desperate need to flee leaked into her voice. Liam looked at her questioningly, but in the end just nodded silently. She sighed softly in relief and hoped that this was the right decision…
‘No...the right thing to do is to talk to Sebastian. But you''re too much of a coward.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grace was doing her best to feign interest in what the dressmaker was saying about the fabrics she was trying to sell. Liam stepped in and began to ask his own questions, effectively distracting the woman. Grace sighed in relief under her breath and Liam winked, signalling that he would handle things for her. She smiled and turned to look around in peace. Bringing him along had been a good idea. He was a good shield against people that began to distress her and push her emotions to the breaking point.
She ran her fingers over some of the satin swaths and sighed, wondering how she should handle all of this. There was no denying how she felt, she still very much loved Sebastian. The problem was if he also loved her. Sure he felt some affection for her, his gentle touch said more than words. However, there was a long leap between slight affection and love. It was hard for her to forget that he may have someone else inside his heart.
Grace gave a dry laugh as she never would have guessed she was that type of woman, but she wanted him all to herself. She shook her head and looked out the shop window at the people passing by. What she wanted to do was ask him straight out who Eveline really was, but she was too afraid of the answer she would get. What if he lied and tried to hide it? Or...What if he told her that he did still love the mystery woman, even in some small way? How would she be able to move past something like that? Could she accept that there had once been another by his side who received his gentle affections?
There were so many possibilities and scenarios that continued to play through her mind that she never felt any closer to the answer she needed. The one strong comfort that remained in her heart was that she was absolute in her feelings for Sebastian. No matter what may or may not have happened in the past, it didn’t change where her heart belonged. Her heart was with Sebastian, but if his did not reside with her...then she may be forced to hide these feelings, secretly locking them inside her heart.
They could still have a happy life together, but there would always be that bit of hope that she would be desperate to chase after. She had seen too many times what false hope did to a person and knew that she would become a hollow shell at the end of it all. Grace sighed as she realized that although this outing had allowed her the distance she needed to think things through, she still couldn’t completely shake the shards that stabbed at her heart. If only she had never been fed these doubts in the first place. She wished that she could go back and prevent these whispers from shattering everything that she had begun to work towards. Why had this happened now, right when everything was just beginning to change and bring the two of them closer together.
She felt a sudden cold shiver and looked up, focusing across the road. Her eyes widened to see a familiar figure standing there, his eyes locked with hers. Malcolm? She frowned and went to the door, going out with the intent to call out to him. As soon as she stepped outside she looked to the spot she had seen him and her brows drew lower. He wasn’t there. She looked up and down the street, wondering if she would see his retreating back, but there was no sign of him. She placed her finger on her chin in worry as a nervous pit settled in her stomach, just as it had when the man first presented himself. Had she really seen him or had she been mistaken? He had seemed to be watching the shop, but why had he vanished as soon as she noticed him? Something wasn’t right, but she couldn’t be sure what.
‘I must be overreacting because of my worry.’ She thought and shrugged off what she thought she had seen. Liam came out then, looking for her when he noticed she wasn’t in the shop. They moved on, going to several other shops that he ‘highly recommended’ talking animatedly about his and Sebastian’s childhood. During their visit she still felt that eerie feeling that she was being watched, just like back in London. Several times, she swore she saw Malcolm again, but he always disappeared instantly like a shadow.
When it was finally time to return she was in worse condition than when she left. Her nerves were frayed and it felt like some invisible hand was wrapping around her throat. Fear similar to when she had been held captive blanketed her, making her shiver uncontrollably. She looked out the window of the coach at the shrinking village and clenched her fist over her heart.
‘It seemed like Malcolm was following me...but that can’t be. My mind must be more jumbled than I thought. Still...’ All her instincts screamed that there was something off about that man and it was wise to keep a distance. She was just thankful that there were few opportunities to run into the man. If their paths crossed again at some social function she would be sure to stick close to Sebastian, knowing that no matter how shakey their current situation was, he would never let harm come to her. As they moved further from the town and closer to home, the anxiousness in her heart subsided and she was able to think more clearly. Right now the only thing that she should worry about is her husband and her ability to look beyond his past and what may have happened before they began their relationship. Anything else could wait until then.