<h4>Chapter 341: Reopening old wounds</h4>


    "What is going on?" Jen asked after opening the gate for them.


    "Hi Jen, this is Erik. How is your virtual home?" Eldrian started off with, irritating Jen but making her realize that she skipped the basic rules of meeting a new person.


    She properly greeted Erik and said that her virtual home was a godsend. She finally managed to catch up on her homework. She now even had a time where she could do whatever she liked, which meant she spent more time with her friends most of the time.


    "Jen... I am going to share everything with Erik too," Eldrian said after taking a seat with his legs in the pool.


    "What?" She looked at him in disbelief, it was not something small to share.


    "He might also be in danger, I can''t leave him in the dark," Eldrian said, Erik repeatedly asking what danger. Already having suspicions from what Eldrian had shared before, and his imagination running wild.


    "Let me start from the start, you already know how I learned magic but... There is far more to it than just that." Eldrian started sharing all that he had experienced, Erik was shocked that Eldrian had actually put up with it all.


    He would have certainly quit if he had needed to go through half of what Eldrian had. Yet, at the same time he realized that he had also not had a pleasant gaming experience. Constantly needing to work, to help, to learn. Constantly needing to make money, constantly needing to improve.


    Not because he wanted, but because he needed to.


    "This game..." Erik sighed after Eldrian finished sharing how he learned magic again. It was one thing hearing it as it happened, but another hearing it all nicely summarized. Creating a bigger picture, the time and effort clear thanks to what he knew from before.


    Eldrian continued to exin what happened when he joined the Taurus Relief Mission, and how he went to find Vivian. The point where Eldrian had started pulling away from everyone, where he first started bing obsessed. When things started bing hectic.


    "I''m sorry," Erik did not quite know what to do so he just sat and waited for Eldrian to continue. He was lucky enough to not have any NPCs who he had befriended die, but he had had many acquaintances die.


    Mostly militia, good people who stepped up to protect their families. It had been far toomon to have a patient die on the table. Back then he had constantly reminded himself that they were NPCs, not people.


    However, the longer he yed the game, the less this started meaning for him. The more he saw the families torn apart, the more he needed to deliver the news. It became all that much more real.


    Erik had no idea what he would do if Akarui died, he dared not think of it.


    "Thanks," Eldrian mumbled as he took a deep breath to try and fill the emptiness he felt in his chest. He had thought he had moved past it all, that it would no longer hurt.


    Sharing it had proved too much. Reopening the wounds in his heart, Jen hade over at some point and hugged him from behind. She was slightly sad that Eldrian had kept this from her but she knew that much had happened and he certainly did not wish to talk about this.


    Eldrian didn''t really understand why he was so sad, it felt ridiculous to him. He had only known them, known Sabrea for a week, slightly longer. It should not hurt this much, but it did.


    Part of him was grateful that he had not grown close to Kydone and the others. It would make it easier when they died. However, he knew it would still hurt. He hoped it would note to that.


    This part kept saying he should push them away and stay a loner. A muchrger part wanted to get closer to them, especially Kydone. She had ced her life on the line for his. No matter how Eldrian tried to ignore that, it touched him deeply.


    He did not want to stay just an acquaintance after that.


    New tears, not of sadness but of a mix of sadness and happiness filled his eyes. Eldrian did not know how to handle this, so he just stayed quiet for a while longer.


    "Dammit... Why must this world be so cruel." Eldrian''s voice broke as he mumbled this, arge part of him ming Miracle and their stone hearts.


    His friend and sister had no words, everything they came up with they felt would fall short. Feeling like it would not help, that instead, it would make things worse. So they instead gave Eldrian the time he needed to regain hisposure and especially his emotions.


    ''I never want to feel this again.'' Eldrian thought once again, this again reconfirming his resolve. With this thought he also slowly started moving past. "Since then I have been running around like crazy."


    Eldrian smiled, realizing how he had kept everything down so easily. After that event, he had gained his hidden ss. Then he had needed to escape since there was someone aiming for Vivian, they faced a Night Terror, they arrived at Taurus.


    That was the only time where things weren''t insanely busy, but not for long. Setting out soon after arriving, continuing his training, and joining more missions. It was all so much, and yet it seemed like it was so long ago.


    Yet only weeks had passed, only a little over a month since the incident at the river.


    Eldrian only nced over most of this, quicklying to the part he needed to share. How he now needed a couple of minutes each time he disconnected. That time was needed for his mind to recognize what was going on.


    "That''s insane! How can-" Erik stopped, wondering what he would do if their situations were reversed. Everything before that was just game-rted, even the incident with Eldrian pushing himself too far. That was on him not stopping, on him forcing it.


    This however was different. It was something to worry about, something that did not have a cause he can work on. In fact the more he yed the worse this might be.


    Erik wondered what he would do if that happened to him today.? He might have asked Nerenth to take care of Akarui, but he would still want to visit her at the least. If something happened then...


    "I get it." Erik said after a short pause, "Is this why you think I might be in danger?"


    "Partly. I know that hidden sses can''t be easy to learn. Care sharing how you got yours?"


    "It was thanks to this treant... One of the most magnificent trees I have ever seen, the fruits on her branches..." Erik started exining his experience after finishing his description of the mother tree and his praise of her.


    The key difference between him and Eldrian was was that Eldrian focused on mana, while he focused on nts. Even his hidden ss was focused on nts.


    Focused on bing entuned with them, on bing one with them.


    "She said that this is the natural ability that Akarui is born with, and over the years the wood elves and dryads had managed to learn from the Fysi. Making this ss, the Fysi Guide."


    Nodding, Eldrian asked, "How did you manage to actually earn the hidden ss?"


    "Do you remember how I can feel what a nt feels, or rather the emotion they give off?" Eldrian nodded, and Erik continued, "I needed to hone in on that feeling, at Tier 0 Nerenth told me I have to be able to feed those feelings with a trickle of mana. You have no idea how hard that is."


    "I think I might," Eldrian countered, "I know how hard it is at the start, it gets easier with time."


    Erik nodded but felt unconvinced. Feeling the emotions were not too hard, but even feeling his mana was next to impossible. He had only managed to do it twice, and that was with Nerenth''s help. He did not quite know how he had even earned the hidden ss already.


    "It really does, do you recall mageia?" Eldrian pressed upon seeing Erik not believing him.


    "Yeah, I still don''t get what you mean by it."


    "It is quite simple, how do you feel the nts'' emotions?" Eldrian asked, Erik replying through touch and thinking about it. "And how about when you cast a spell?" Erik replied through thought.


    "There you have it, those thoughts are mageia. What happens if you do that here? On Earth?"


    "Nothing. I just feel like an idiot."


    "What is different between the two thoughts? What differs between how you think here and there?"


    "Nothing," Erik replied, Eldrian quickly shooting him down.


    "Wrong. The first difference is that you ept that magic exists in the game. You expect it to work."


    Erik nodded, agreeing that that was indeed the case. He was more open-minded in the game than in reality. "What is the second thing?" Erik asked, Eldrian shrugging and looking at him with a stupid smile. Talking about magic helped him forget the pain of loss, and quite effectively too.


    "No idea, I am also still stuck there. But I do know that thinking random thoughts in the game is different than when I am focusing and trying to do magic. I would say the second thing might be intent or intensity."


    "Definitely. Envisioning a spell module is so energy-consuming," Erik said this and suddenly mageia made sense. "That''s what you mean. It is like those thoughts are more real, more concrete."


    "Yup." Eldrian nodded, happy to have finally managed to exin it properly to someone.


    "But how does this help me?" Erik asked, hoping that it would. Jen had gone inside to get some drinks once the talks had moved to magic. She had no idea what they were talking about and the sun was quite hot.