Chapter Thirty-Seven - Honest Samurai Reviews


    <strong>Chapter Thirty-Seven - Honest Samurai Reviews</strong>


    <em>"Look, I don''t care how woke your review is, the audience won''t care what you have to say if you can''t even beat the first fucking level!"</em>


    -GamersPortal Comment, 2029


    ***


    I kind of expected things to move faster than they were, but it was clear a few hours in that I had set my expectations at one level and reality was conspiring to be at another. Which was fine, I supposed.


    Basically, while Grasshopper expected the big gun to be ready by nightfall, Major Tinwhistle was a bit more conservative. "By tonight?" she asked when she finally had a spare minute where she wasn''t screaming at people not to fuck up. "I... suppose it''s possible, but only if by tonight you mean before the sun rises. Even then, that means my guys will be working through the night."


    "Would letting them get some rest be better?" I asked.


    "Do you work at your best without sleep?" she asked right back.


    That was a fair point. I wasn''t the best when I was cranky.Grasshopper hummed. "That''s unfortunate, but it''s not altogether unexpected. To be quite honest we are still a ways ahead of where I expected to be, so I can hardlyin. You''ve been doing good work. All of your people have."


    Major Tinwhistle nodded, but by the set of her shoulders I could tell she was proud to hear that. "Just make sure you let the general know. I don''t want to die a Major. This kind of project is either the kind of thing that''ll be so ck-listed and ssified that it won''t help me get promoted at all, or it''ll be the kind of thing that''s so big they won''t have a choice but to pin a medal on my chest."


    Iughed. "You have things figured out," I said. "But yeah, give your guys a break, I think we''ll be fine finishing the big gun tomorrow. Right?"


    Grasshopper nodded. "We will. We can likely start purchasing some things now. I intend to buy some construction drones in any case. They''ll be able to work through the night."


    "Oh?" Tinwhistle asked. "I wouldn''t say no to Samurai-tech help."


    "Hmm, mine are all back home," I said. "But I don''t think it''s suitable for this kind of thing."


    "It''s fine," Grasshopper said. "I will be purchasingrge amounts of raw materials. Mister Hedgehog and Miss Princess said that their catalogues couldn''t truly help with the gun itself, but they''re willing to share the cost for the materials required to build the basing structure."


    "What did you buy?" I asked.


    Grasshopper tapped her chin. "I''m buying the main gun. I think I have thergest pool of free points to spend on this kind of project. Miss Gomorrah is purchasing a number of shells for the gun as well as the fire-controlputer. Mister Crackshot Cowboy bought the targeting system and its hardware already. He had a fantastic catalogue for that."


    "Huh, everyone''s pitching in," I said.


    "Yes! Tankette will be buying the loader, since that meshes well with her catalogues. Hmm, would you mind buying the entry portal and some of the ammunition? You have a catalogue for that, right?"


    "Yeah," I said. "Exotic Single Use Explosives. Bought a--technically not a--nuke with it once, I''m sure Myalis would love to help us throw different things at the wall to see what sticks. What about Gros Baton? The new kid?"


    "Oh, he''s quite a lovely young man," Grasshopper said.


    I nodded, then realized that I had no idea where he was. For that matter, I didn''t know where Rac had run off to either. Suspicious.


    "He''s taking care of site security, which is also quite important."


    "Fair enough. Is he the one that put up those balloons? They made my augs fritz whenever I looked at them too long."


    "That''s him, as well as Hedgehog. Gros Baton had a catalogue for traps which happened to have some barrage balloons avable. Hedgehog has a pretty intense suite of anti-spyware programs, sobining the two lead to those. They should mask our presence a little, and make it harder for low-flying spy drones to pass by."


    "We''re not going to be keeping this a secret for very long, will we?" I asked.


    Grasshopper wiggled her hand in a so-so gesture. "Major Tinwhistle''s people have been very good about not going online, but eventually theirck of presence will be noticed. There were probably a lot of eyes on the area already, what with the number of new samurai here. But new samurai tend to get a lot of attention from... smaller organisations."


    Stolen story; please report.


    "What''s that mean?" I asked. I wasn''t sure if I should be offended or not.


    "It means that organisations like the bigger corps will pay attention to smaller samurai in order to see if they''re recruitable or if they''d be willing to work with them. Bigger samurai have corporate eyes on them because they''re a constant and pervasive threat to those corporations. It''s a little different."


    "Are you one of those bigger samurai?" I asked.


    "I''ve been around for a few years, but I never truly focused all of my resources on growing stronger," she said with a smile that was just a little sad. "I''d much rather pay for educational TV shows, or spend my points on things that''ll help humanity in the long run rather than neat weapons. I''m regretting that just a little now, when that spending might have helped us all get through this situation a little easier."


    "Nah, I think you did alright," I said. Grasshopper didn''t strike me as a fighter. Not that I doubted her ability to kick ass and take names. She just wasn''t the sort of person that I''d picture on the front lines. I supposed that didn''t make her any less of a samurai, though.


    "Well, it means that I''ve been a small-fry in the samurai world for a long time. The only reason arger corporation would care about me is the friends I''ve made along the way. A few of those have gone on to have incredible careers!"


    I nodded along.


    "You should go see your friends too. Leave the logistics to the Major and I. You''re more of an... in-person leader, I think."


    "I''m not a leader at all," I said. "I just keep getting stuck having to boss people around. Doesn''t mean I like it. But yeah, sure. I''m worried Rac might be getting into some sort of trouble. I''ll be upset if someone drives her over with one of those tractors."


    Grasshopper giggled, theugh making her look ten years younger and kind of ruining her more serious moment. "That would be awful. Go check on her, and on the others. Believe it or not, but all of them, from Gomorrah to Tankette, value your opinion.... Well, maybe not Hedgehog, I have the impression you struck him the wrong way."


    "Ah, yeah, that might be my fault, I was a little too honest."


    "Honesty can be tricky sometimes," she agreed easily.


    I waved goodbye to the Major who barely acknowledged me. She was in the middle of what looked like three simultaneous calls while two engineer-looking sorts were badgering her with questions, so I didn''t take umbrage at being ignored and just slipped out of themand tent.


    The ce was still hustling, even more than when I''d arrived. There was now a mountain of loose dirt being piled up by the roadside, and more tractors had arrived and were shoving it out into a long wall of packed dirt and stone.


    The hole where the gun would be had gained another twenty metres or so in thest half hour and it looked like they had dropped another metre. It seemed like they were digging it out as a sort of ramp? I wasn''t sure and didn''t have the background to make anything approaching an intelligent guess, so I didn''t question it.


    I did find the others rtively easily.


    Tankette had brought her tank forwards next to a row of tents where they were serving food. She was helping, which I imagined continued to make her pretty popr with everyone here. Her smile suggested she was enjoying it.


    Princess and Knight were sitting at one table in that tent, looking a little awkward as they spoke to each other. No idea where Hedgehog was. And Rac...


    It took me a moment to find her. She was out by the edge of the hole that was being dug. Just far enough from it that I wasn''t instinctually worried she''d trip into it and actually get squished.


    Next to her, Gros Baton was saying something with a lot of gestures, and from the way their shoulders shook, they bothughed at whatever that was. Rac shoved him, and I caught his stupid grin from all the way out here.


    Well well, it seemed like I really was the best match-maker that ever was.


    Of course, if the little shit hurt her, no amount of being a samurai or a minor would save him.


    ***