Chapter 1: Come Forth Satan


    [A/N: As many of you already know, I am known to mess with the canon storylines. So if you hope that everything will be like canon and MC will just be a side character who pushes himself in the plot then you will be disappointed.


    MC is a fabulous, se*y, badass, old and yet manliest among the manliest men on the motherf*cking. MCU plotline will remain "mostly" the same until the 1st Iron Man. But Earth will be vastly different, as he will be the President, a president who has knowledge of the future and is superpowered.]


    "ABC" = Dialogues


    ~abc~ = Internal thoughts.


    *BOOM* = Action sounds.


    IMPORTANT! - Always check paragraphments, I leave illustrations and reference images there.


    WARNING: Do not read if you get triggered easily. MC will be the US President, he stands for equality and justice. Some are bound to get triggered.


    _____________________________


    1978, New York City,


    Hector King was a man in his 30s, with no close family or friends to speak of, paralysed from the waist down.


    He was in the Navy SEALs since the early 1970s. But on a mission in Vietnam, a grenadended near his team. Protecting his team, he tried to push them away and kick the grenade with a strong kick.


    Simple to say, the strong was only the grenade, his legs were minced meat.


    It exploded, and with that his legs too. On the good side, they handed him a Medal of Honourter on, but that was it. He had to take early retirement and spend time at home, legless, loveless and hopeless.


    Living on the pension was easy, more so since he owned a small apartment building in New York City and got rent from there, god bless the previous King generations. Having nobody dependent on him, his expenses were just on his medications and entertainment from time to time. He was intoics a lot, but then movies also became big and he watched them as well. The only dependent being on him was his cute little Husky, named Moony, whom Hector loved dressing up in cute clothes and basically treated him as his son.


    The biggest problem for him however was that he was bored, tired and lonely, and all his attempts at dating had failed. Even Moony could do nothing more than howl and lick his face whenever he needed food. So, every once in a while, to pass time, he would go out on some random garage sales. During one of the many such boring days, he bought a book on a garage sale.


    It was a weird book, that looked pretty old and gloomy for some reason. When reading it, he found it had the process of how to summon Satan and many other utterly dark things, such as how to bewitch someone, how to remotely kill someone with an ident, or how to suck away someone''s luck.


    Having nothing to do, he decided to joke around with himself. "Heh, let''s make Satan a friend then."


    He drew the magic circles on the wooden floor and put the meat he ordered as a sacrifice, it was top grade meat as he guessed Satan would want nothing less. He expected nothing at the beginning, just like the many ouija board games he yed in childhood, but when the circlepleted, it shined in bright light.


    Hector was damn sure there were no special lights or spotlight in his apartment that could do this. So the possibility of the summoning spell being real rose in his mind.


    This was when he found out, he fu*ked up. There was no way in hell he''d really want Satan toe. He still had a long life to live, a bit miserable, lonely and horny, but still.


    "F*CK!" He cursed and tried to rub the paint away with his arms in hopes the destruction of the magical circle would end the magic. *THUD*


    He fell from his wheelchair and looked utterly pathetic. The Circle kept on shining until it abruptly stopped. Hector slowly looked up as he sensed a presence looming over him, gazing at him with piercing eyes.


    He was just a 35-year-old man, the military didn''t train him for this. Simple to say, he would have shat himself if he wasn''t constipating these days.


    He tried to see the form of Satan, his gaze looking up from the floor, the first thing he saw was shiny formal shoes, then formal pants, then a suit? That confused him, he thought maybe Satan looked like a human.


    But when he looked up, he cursed, "Holy Hell, YOU''RE A GOAT!"


    "WOOF! GRRRRR..." Moony started showing his sharp teeth.


    "Damn right, I''m the greatest of all time. And it''s fiery hell, damn hell, but never holy hell. Good boy, here, eat this." The goat-man spoke like a normal human and threw a biscuit on the side.


    "Woof!" Moony cutely barked and ran to eat. It was unknown if Moony had betrayed Hector or if he was bewitched.


    To Hector''s surprise, this goat faced multi-eyed being was smoking a cigarette and looking cool.


    He sighed, this was a record low for his life. Whatever could go wrong was going wrong. He had no idea what was the punishment for summoning Satan. Was it death? Was it hell?


    Hector, epting the fuck-up, depressingly spoke, "Fine, send me to hell, Satan. It''s not like I have any friends or work. I can''t even remember thest time I talked with anyone other than the pizza delivery guy."


    But the Goat... Satan seemed interested in something entirely different and offered him, "Ah, it''s been a long time since I was summoned. You found my book? Good, what do you want? Riches? Women? Fame? Strength? Or perhaps, your legs? or... maybe a penis ergement? All at the discounted price of your soul."


    It turned out, this was like the crossroads demon. Hector, however, seeing he wasn''t going to be killed, decided to make the best of it. He didn''t need any of that. And so, his answer even shocked Satan, making that smug look disappear. "I... I want you to be my best friend."


    Satan, after a moment of shock, smiled, albeit creepily. "Hahaha... All right then. I, Satan of the Multiverse, Grandpa''s son and underling, shall be your friend."


    And from there, the friendship that wouldst eternity started, all for the price of Hector''s soul. But, neither of them knew that this friendship would change their life eternally.


    Satan gave Hector his legs back so they could have fun, eat, y and rx. The two went on a world tour, of course, with Moony with them. And it was not just a weekly tour, but a literal world tour, where they saw each and every street of every country. Satan did his job of sending souls to hell while at it. Hector and Moony were just riding along.


    Over the years, Hector umted a lot of wealth from various stints he and Satan pulled together. Satan was a mischievous being after all, and it was in his nature to mess with people.


    They visited all the beautiful resorts of Bali, the desert of Africa, the rain forests of South America, snowynds of Antarctica to ride on penguins'' backs. They even went to space, because Hector wished to see the Moon and Mars.


    Moony loved the moon too much and even resisted leaving the giant rock. After some negotiations, Moony was satisfied by taking a moon-rock with him in his cute backpack.


    Hector also brought back a huge rock sample from Mars and dumped it in front of Nasa''s building. Those scientists were going crazy trying to find out how it reached there as Hector and Satan had augh.


    They went on to eat the food of every cuisine ever made. They went to every single amusement park in the world. And slowly, they truly did be best friends. Hector also grew out of his introverted and depressed personality, bing a funny, energetic and cool old man. Years passed and became decades, they still roamed the Earth as best buds. Moony, by the grace of Satan, lived way beyond his dog life-span.


    But, a human body can only exist for so long. And even Moony passed away just before Hector was hospitalised. Due to this, Hector knew his time wasing.


    [A/N: Imagine a long montage of cut scenes of Hector, Satan and Moony doing crazy things with Mr Blue Sky ying in the back.]


    ...


    Year 2021,


    *BEEP* *BEEP*


    Hector was on his deathbed, now 78 years old, venttors and machines were attached to his body. But he was happy, he lived his life to the fullest with Satan as his best friend. They travelled the world, space, and even saw aliens.


    But, like all mortals, his body too gave up. Not to weakness or illness, but to some crappy virus that had been ravaging the world. Satan, as written in the contract, didn''t have the authority to save his life.


    Satan arrived to see his dear old friend with a sad face, "My friend, angels and gods from heaven write poems about our bromance. You were the first mortal to see me beyond my looks. That I am not evil, my work is, something I have no power over as Father decided it. You were my first ever friend... and probably thest one too."


    "I''m g-d I found that b-book, S-Satan." Hector weakly murmured from his bed. With those words, the machines gave the tline noise. His eyes lost their shine. He was dead.


    Then, the magical things happened. Slowly, from the dead body of Hector, a translucent shape rose up. It was identical to Hector, most likely his soul. But Hector himself didn''t know.


    He looked down at his own body, as doctors tried to revive him. But he was already dead. "*Sigh* Man, do I look ugly in this old body. I used to be so handsome back in the days. Legless, but handsome none the less"


    He turned to look at Satan. "What happens to me now, and what about Moony?"


    "Moony... haha... that good boy went to Dog Heaven. All dogs go to heaven." Satan replied, remembering the good boy he was so attached to for the past few decades.


    However, Satan knew it, Hector''s soul will be sent to hell for atonement and then back to the cycle of reincarnation. Sadness took over him, something that was strange to him as he never felt this way before.


    But, he decided to do something crazy, "F*CK IT! You''re my best friend, I can''t let you die. Hector, I am appointing you as the Hell''s Inquisitor, a position only under me."