Chapter 301


    LEGEND OF THE EMPYREAN BLACKSMITH


    BOOK IV


    WAR OF WRITS


    VOLUME XIII


    LAST BASTION OF MAGIC


    CHAPTER 301


    BEFORE IT ALL BEGAN (I)


    A dirty road stretched through the thickly veiled forest, dampened by thest night’s rain, yet to dry due to the sun’s rays failing to reach it through the branches . Varied shrubbery rose at the road’s sides, some bearing strange fruit, some even stranger insects, but the path itself was oddly clear of any greenery .


    Just slightly off the distance, an entourage of roughly forty men and women, surrounding a massive wagon loaded with crates of goods, walked slowly and steadily, asional bouts ofughter and booming loudness interrupting the silent forest . All of them appeared to be the rugged bunch, hardly an expensive piece of clothing anywhere to be found, with any form of jewelry being even rarer .


    There seemed to be no clear leader, with groupsrgely formed at random, individuals crossing left and right from time to time to join another . If there was one thing that they all seemed to have inmon, it was the thick ent; very few, if any, who would hear them speak the Common Tongue could properly understand them, yet that barrier didn’t seem to exist within themunity .


    The wagon suddenly came to a halt as someone eximed ’lunch time’; seemingly beyond just practiced, a few individuals began stripping supplies from the wagons, a few others rounding the driest branches they could find -- and supplying the rest from their own reserves -- while others rolled out a massive pot and pulled it over onto a small, elevated tform made out of steel rods .


    At the same time, thest group began pouring water, strange-looking mushrooms and a few pieces of beef from the wagon into the pot, as thest group began stirring the mes beneath . When the tasks werepleted, everyone sat around the wagon calmly, waiting for the meal .


    In a small corner, leaned against a thick oak, were five people; two women and three men, all with starkly simr features -- ck hair and eyes and rather yful smiles seemingly permanently etched on their faces . One of the women had a ratherrge bulge on her stomach, while one of the men often did rounds around her to ensure there were no insects .


    "Oh for the love of hell, give it a rest!" seemingly getting tired, the woman cried out as she pulled the man’s arm and forced him to sit . "If my ass was so weak to die to some fuckin’ bug, I’d have died long before we met you bastard . "


    "We met when we were four, you lunatic!" the man cried out .


    "Exactly!"


    "Alright, alright, you two, don’t start again, please," the other woman sighed and rolled her eyes at the two . "You’ve already exhausted all our patience with your antics . Hold back for the rest of the journey . "


    "Humph, when did it be a crime to be attentive to your pregnant wife?!" the man mumbled out in a wronged tone . "Humph, get bitten . See if I fucking care . "


    "Of course you care Lyro," one of the menughed out loud . "Joy is pretty much thest joy you’ve got in your life . "


    "I swear, if you make a pun out of my name one more time," the pregnant woman, Joy, growled in a threatening tone . "I’ll shove a goddamn spear up the hole where the sun don’t shine . You hear me?"


    "I bet that’d be a rather joyous asion for him, ha ha ha ha ha ha . . . " while Lyro burst out intoughter, he failed to realize that the four had all began ring at him, especially Joy who suddenly punched his face, knocking him on his bum . "W-what was that for?!"


    "Oh, sorry . It’s pregnancy . " Joy shrugged .


    "Oh, of course, how silly of me," Lyro said, smiling oddly . "It’s always pregnancy . It’s pregnancy when you punch me, when you break down crying for no reason, when I wake up in the middle of the night to see you on top of me like you’re practicing horseback riding----uh, too much?"


    "You think?!!!" Joy cried out, her cheeks flushing red while the remaining three around them broke out intoughter . "Shut up!" she turned toward them . "Go away! Right now!"


    "Ho ho," one of the womenughed strangely as the three got up . "Looks like she’s about to do some more practicing fes~~"


    "I’ll practice shoving a sword--"


    "Alright, alright, they’re gone honey, m down," Lyro held her back from leaping after the trio like a panther, smiling bitterly . "It’s not as though nobody knows, you know? After all, you didn’t just get fat . "


    "Oh, I know," Lyro stuttered in surprise as he saw Joy suddenly return to normal . "I just wanted to chase them away but didn’t want to seem rude . You know?"


    " . . . well yed you devil . Well yed . " Lyro pped slowly, nodding .


    " . . . should be any day now," she smiled, rubbing her belly gently . "Who do you want?"


    "A girl!" Lyro eximed without hesitation .


    "Eh?! Really? Why not a son?" Joy asked .


    "What? You want to condemn our child to the life of eternal solitude?!" Lyro eximed in horror .


    "W-what?"


    "Just imagine it --- a son of ours approaches thedy . . . boom, what’s the first thing he says?"


    "Your tits are blessings from the gods?" Joy muttered, tilting her head sideways .


    "And pa! pped like a little bitch he would be . "


    " . . . there’s a lot wrong with you -- but, this by far takes the cake . " Joy said, chuckling bitterly .


    "If it’s a girl, she at least stands a chance, you know?" he said . "I mean, I’m handsome, you’re beautiful, she’s bound to shake the hearts of many men . So long as she keeps her mouth shut for a while, she’ll make it, I just know . "


    "Wouldn’t it be the same if it were a boy?" Joy asked . "So long as he kept his mouth shut, that is . "


    "No, no, no, it’s different for guys," Lyro shook his head . "I mean, he’d only have his handsome face . There’s only so far you can go with just a face; we’re poor as all shit, so charming girls with glitter is out of the question . Since he can’t talk, he can’t be charming or funny . He’ll also be lucky to be able to wear anything half the time, so bedazzling them with fitting clothes is out of the question . He definitely won’t ever know how to cook, clean, and most-certainly won’t ever learn how to fight, so . . . he’s only got his face going for him . At most," he added . "He could be a mute gigolo or something . "


    "I have a feeling you’ve just cursed our child more than anyone has ever cursed any kid in the history of the world," Joy said . "Now I’m almost certain it’s a boy . "


    " . . . ah, poord," Lyor said, leaning against her shoulder . "He’ll turn into that creepy old guy who collects snakes and yells at kids . "


    "I don’t think so . "


    "Hm?"


    "I think . . . he’s going to be brave," Joy said, smiling warmly as she nced down . "I think he’s going to be honest . . . strong . . . smart . Kind to people . After all, those are the things that truly matter; whatever his undoubtedly poisonous tongue may spit out, I think the world will see him for who he actually is . "


    " . . . my question is," Lyro said . "How in the god’s name is he going to be any of those things? We are literally opposite of all of them!"


    "Hey, you bastard! Speak for yourself!" Joy eximed .


    " . . . alright, I’ll humor you . Proceed . "


    "I’m very honest--"


    "--the hell you are . Tell me, who drank myst bottle of good wine?"


    "--p-past-pastor . . . "


    "Of course he did . "


    "Khm, anyway, besides that, I’m also very strong--"


    "--and that’s why we have mysterious diseases that prevent us from exerting ourselves too much . "


    "-a-and . . . " Joy seemed to be on the verge of tears while Lyro kept smirking . "I’m . . . I’m very smart . . . "


    "Ah, face it honey," he said, kissing her gently . "We’re at most cruel beauties . If we weren’t married to each other, we’d be making twopletely innocent people beyond miserable . "


    " . . . ah, who am I kidding . . . you’re right . . . I’m just an evil, beautiful goddess . "


    "Hey, at least you’re a goddess," he added . "More than what most other women can im . "


    " . . . ah, why weren’t we more careful!" she eximed . "We’ve basically condemned this kid to the most pathetic life!"


    " . . . maybe we’re just letting our shorings gue our minds," Lyro said after a short silence . "Perhaps he’ll really be all you’ve said . "


    " . . . . "


    " . . . . "


    " . . . . "


    "Pfft, ha ha ha ha, no way . " both burst out intoughter, holding hands tenderly, wishing inwardly they were wrong .