Chapter 153: What She Wishes More Than Freedom


    "However, it is a bit different this time. Um, I want it to be a bit special."


    "..."


    "At least for ourst one…"


    I knew the meaning and weight of the words she uttered. After all, things had been strange ever since Findenai spoke about returning to the rk Republic.


    "..."


    Part of why I wasn''t greatly surprised was because I already knew she might make this choice.


    "You’re not even surprised."


    Findenai took a sip of her drink and grinned. It wasn''t her usual smile filled with yfulness, but rather one that was tinged with a hint of bitterness.


    "I possess half of your soul.""Yeah, I know."


    The terms of our contract were if I wanted to kill her, I could have done so at any time.


    However, Findenai just shrugged.


    "But the other half is still with me, isn''t it?"


    "..."


    "That''s sufficient then."


    An individual with half her soul destroyed.


    I had never seen such a person before, so I couldn''t urately predict the oue. However, one thing was certain—that person wouldn''t be able to live for long.


    It was safe to say that they were living on a time limit.


    Yet, Findenai replied calmly.


    "It’s fine as long as everything''s done before I kick the bucket."


    That showed how firm her determination was.


    It was to the extent that I felt I shouldn’t recklessly interfere.


    Nevertheless, I kept speaking.


    “Can you still not tell me the reason?”


    If only she would give me a reason— if she exined why she was being so insistent—perhaps I might be able to understand.


    However, the smile still hanging on Findenai’s lips remained unchanged.


    "I’m sorry."


    It was a sincere apology.


    Rather than the casual remarks she usually made, this was a genuine apology for having no choice but to make this decision.


    Unknowingly, I brought the ss to my lips.


    The Dean''s high-quality liquor could be called an exquisite drink. The sweet liquid that enveloped my tongue contained various kinds of sweetness.


    However, strangely, all I could taste in my mouth was bitterness.


    "Aside from your apology, do you not have anything else to say?"


    "Hmm, what else can I say..."


    Findenai nkly stared at the brimming liquid in the ss. From that gesture, I could sense that she was avoiding my gaze.


    It was very unlike her.


    It was not like Findenai at all.


    "Well, wouldn''t a lengthy conversation be a burden when saying goodbye?”


    "What if I still say I will not let you go?"


    "Well, that’s not entirely unexpected."


    Instead of answering me properly, she gestured at the axe leaning against the chair with her chin.


    It meant that no matter what, even if she had to break through me by force, she would run away.


    Did she realize that her resolute attitude was, in fact, weighing heavily on my heart?


    Honestly, I was surprised. I had no idea that I would feel this way about Findenai leaving.


    Beyond regret, a kind of sadness quietly settled within me.


    Starting with the Dark Spiritualist, who could hardly be seentely, I felt as though the connections I had always taken for granted were slowly breaking off.


    “Well, if you''re trying to get revenge, go ahead. After all, when we fought in the mountain range, the Mountain Lord did everything.”


    "Then and now are different."


    Findenai suddenly let out an uncontrobleughter at my words.


    "Alright, honestly, Master Bastard, with your current abilities, it would be hard for me to win no matter how skilled I am."


    While nodding in agreement, Findenai added.


    "So, now, I’m nning to feed you a potion, Master Bastard."


    "..."


    Although I wondered what she was talking about, Findenai suddenly stood up and swiftly grabbed the teapot from the corner of my room. She even brought a container filled with tea leaves.


    "It''s not harmful to your body. On the contrary, it''s a sleeping potion that will help you, who hasn’t been able to sleep well until now, to sleep deeply."


    She set the wine ss aside and began brewing tea. Although this random attitude was typical of Findenai, this was not a situation I wanted to be in at all.


    "Are you asking me to drink that?"


    "Yes, drink it and sleep well. In the meantime, I''ll run away."


    A brief silence fell.


    As the sound of boiling water bubbled up, she crumpled and steeped the tea leaves.


    The calm, flowing sound of water could be heard.


    Once the serene sound, hardly imaginable as produced by Findenai, came to a stop, she offered me the tea.


    The finished tea looked as if any ordinary maid had made it. If I hadn''t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn''t have believed that Findenai had brewed it.


    However, drinking it was a different issue.


    "Do you really want to run away so badly?"


    I wondered if Findenai wanted to escape from my grasp so badly that she would go to such lengths.


    To my question, Findenai bitterly shook her head.


    "No, I didn’t mean it like that."


    "..."


    "Master Bastard, you will definitely try to stop me, right?"


    "Yes."


    I couldn''t just stand by and watch Findenai go back, especially since it would be much more dangerous now than when she crossed over to the rk Republicst time.


    “And from such a Master Bastard, I will have to do whatever it takes to escape from you. You may be quite strong, but you are weak when ites to chasing after someone who is fleeing, right?”


    It was a valid point.


    While I was strong in battles where we had to sh with full force, Icked the strength to pursue enemies in mobile warfare.


    A prime example was the fight against Dante’s Monstrumancer, Dina in the city of artists, ren.


    I wasn’t able to pursue her properly when she fled.


    "I will definitely be able to escape. I have confidence in myself. However, in the meantime, I might not be able to keep my body safe, nor can I run away from you, Master Bastard. Because that''s how strong you are."


    When Findenai''s calm gaze settled on the teacup, only then did I understand the significance of this brew.


    This wasn''t a threat, negotiation, or some clever trick.


    This was...


    "Please don''t let me swing my axe at you, Master Bastard."


    It was a plea.


    It was Findenai''s plea not to let her wield her weapon against me.


    Although our opinions shed, she was saying she didn''t want to fight me.


    "I..."


    It was unbelievable.


    I never imagined there woulde a day like this in my life.


    "I never thought the day woulde when you would be able to persuade me this way."


    I took the tea and cautiously brought the teacup to my lips. The tea flowed smoothly down my throat, warming my body.


    The feeling of intoxication faded away, and tiredness soon flooded in. However, it wasn''t a negative, contrived fatigue.


    Instead, a feeling of suppressed exhaustion had naturally rushed back.


    After finishing the tea, I slowly handed the teacup to Findenai. She epted it politely, like a true maid.


    "Thank you."


    "I did not do it to receive your thanks."


    "It seems like you’re already getting sleepy. Well, do you have anyst words?"


    The atmosphere somewhat lightened towards the end. I found myself chuckling inadvertently at her reaction, which seemed to be her usual self.


    "Quite a bit."


    "Hmm?"


    "Your skills have improved quite a bit."


    Her once pig-urine tasting tea-making skills had improved significantly. She must have put in quite some effort behind the scenes.


    Since she wasn’t making tea for anyone else, it meant she simply did it to gain recognition from me.


    "<em>Sigh.</em>"


    Findenai slowly brushed my bangs aside with her hand. Were emotions welling up within her?


    I pretended not to notice as I was slowly about to close my eyes in surrender of the approaching drowsiness.


    And then, at that moment…


    A soft yet forceful sensation covered my lips. Then, I felt the warmth of her breath.


    Before I knew it, Findenai hade so close that she was right in front of my nose—she was kissing me delicately yet passionately.


    Rather than a kiss, her inexperienced tongue movements felt more like a predator devouring its prey.


    Perhaps it was due to the effects of the potion.


    I couldn''t react or say anything.


    All I could do was stay still with a stiff body while patiently staring at her as she kept her eyes closed.


    After my eyes slowly closed, I lost consciousness right then and there.


    ***


    "<em>Puha.</em>"


    Findenai stopped her kiss and looked down at Deus Verdi, who was drooping on the bed.


    Then, almost instinctively, she ran her fingers over her lips, savoring the taste.


    It was her first time.


    However, it was a moment where she could very well understand why lovers bit, nibbled, and went crazy on each other.


    "I should have tried this sooner."


    He had drunk the tea for her sake, and his lips looked so sweet that Findenai impulsively leaned in.


    Now that she thought of it, didn’t she kiss him right after he drank the tea with a sleeping potion in it? Would the potion affect her as well?


    Since it was probably just a small dose, Findenai didn''t think much of it.


    She stared nkly afterying Deus down roughly and covering him with a nket.


    Not knowing how much time had passed, she realized she had been staring at him as if she was being sucked into something.


    <em>I should leave quickly.</em>


    She felt like she might just wait endlessly until he woke up if she kept staring at him for no reason.


    Just as she urged herself to move forward...


    <em>Thud</em>.


    Arge bag caught her foot.


    The luggage Deus had been using to pack for tomorrow was still scattered around and not properly organized.


    After Findenai kicked it, it became even more disorganized. Amidst the cluttered luggage, a picture stuck out and caught her eyes.


    "..."


    Findenai unknowingly picked it up.


    The picture had the same background as the one she possessed, but the person in it was different.


    It was her, who was somewhat awkwardly standing in front of a wall with wings drawn on it.


    "So, he didn''t throw it away, huh?"


    Findenai, who had been vacantly staring at her own picture, suddenly crumpled it up and tore it into pieces before tossing it out the window.


    The shredded pieces of the photo scattered in the wind and naturally flew away.


    Now, it was her time to disappear, just like those pieces.


    "Just forget about me. It''ll be easier that way."


    Findenai was now prepared to leave.


    As she cast a final nce at the sleeping Deus, she felt her legs grow heavier.


    "Ha! This is ridiculous."


    It was indeed ridiculous.


    Yeah, it was hard to express it in any other way other than ridiculous.


    "The bitch who is supposed to be the leader of the resistance army will leave now."


    She couldn’t help but admit.


    The leash called ‘maid’ that Deus Verdi had ced around her neck felt truly sweet.


    It was so sweet that Findenai, without realizing it, just wanted to settle down here.


    However, for the woman named Findenai, the end of her path wasn’t here.


    She had too many burdens to carry to simply settle down, forget everything, and live in blissful ignorance.


    If she really could give up everything she carried on her shoulders…


    "That wouldn''t be like me at all, right?"


    She wouldn’t be Findenai anymore.


    "You can''t keep a wolf on a leash forever. You knew that, and yet you still took me in."


    <em>Step. Step.</em>


    She could barely let her heavy steps take her forward. Each step she took made her axe feel heavier and heart hurt more.


    "I never thought there''de a day when I wanted to give up the fight for freedom."


    Finally, after cing her hand on the doorknob, Findenai slowly shook her head.


    Her silver hair cascaded down, enveloping her contorted red eyes.


    "Damn it."


    And almost inment...


    "I never thought I''d wish for something..."


    She exhaled a breath that sounded as if it were filled with tears.


    "Something more than freedom."


    With a heavy thud, the door closed, leaving only silence to fill the room.


    Thus, the wolf who crossed the mountain range had now embarked on a journey back to her /genesisforsaken