Chapter 187: Answer"<em>Yawn</em>."


    Late at night.


    Hansen woke up scratching his belly. He felt numbness and tingling in his lower body, reluctantly opening his heavy eyelids.


    Although his dder felt like it would burst at any moment, he was toozy to get up.


    He thought about just enduring it and going back to sleep, but after remembering a previous asion when he once wet the bed, he sighed and got up.


    "<em>Ugh</em>."


    His head throbbed as if it had been hit with a hammer. Thanks to the good cards that earned him a lot of money yesterday, he had been drinking expensive alcohol with two women on either side at the bar.


    He was sure that he heard expensive alcohol wasn’t supposed to give you hangovers.


    Could it be that the content inside those bottles were different?


    As he was usually doubtful, Hansen couldn’t help but ponder various thoughts while making his way to the bathroom.Feeling relieved after emptying his dder, Hansen scratched his head with bed hair and came out of the bathroom.


    Although the dark interior of the house was barely visible, he had walked this path countless times, and it wasn''t so spacious that he would get lost.


    As Hansen was about to enter his own room again, he looked at the door opposite to his with a puzzled expression.


    It was his partner''s room.


    Originally, it was intended to be the room for the child they would haveter.


    However, they barely spoke to each other now; it had also been quite some time since they started sleeping in separate rooms.


    They managed their finances separately and hardly ever saw each other''s faces.


    It wasn''t that they still had feelings for each other that they didn''t break up.


    It was only because they both had nowhere else to go if they left this house.


    Their rtionship had already dulled, and they were just ufortably cohabiting out of necessity.


    Thankfully, they didn''t have a child.


    "Hm?"


    When he stared at the room of his partner, who had now be someone he could call a stranger, the door opened. This caused him to show a puzzled expression.


    He wondered if the door was already open when he went to the bathroom.


    Normally, he wouldn''t have cared due to the hangover, but now, it strangely bothered him.


    While thinking so, Hansen slowly reached out his hand and peeked his head into the room.


    There was nothing special.


    He wondered if it was a thief or something.


    "<em>Kk, ugh! Keeeeugh!</em>"


    He heard his partner''s voice sounding like a gasp, it coincided with his eyes adjusting to the darkness.


    He saw the silhouette of his partner lying down.


    And something began to wriggle and emerge from her belly.


    At first, it seemed like tree roots, but it gradually began to take on the shape of a person.


    <em>Ddududuk</em>.


    He quickly turned his head away, and the shadow with intense glowing red eyes lunged at Hansen.


    ***Even though it felt like quite a long time had passed, in reality, winter break at Loberne Academy hadn’t ended yet.


    sses would start in March for the spring semester. After spending the end of the year in Norseweden, it was now mid-January.


    I was the first to return to Loberne.


    Eleanor left early to attend an end-of-year party in the capital, Graypond, while Aria went back to spend the end of the year with her parents.


    I left Illuania and Sevia in Norseweden, thinking it would be better for them to stay there than to return to Loberne.


    In the end, the people who traveled with me were Findenai, Owen, and Erica.


    Instead of returning to Byolren, the Bright Household’s territory, Erica chose to follow me back to Loberne instead. Now, she was currently in myboratory.


    During vacation when there were no sses, the pink-haired Professor Fel Petra spent the end of the year stuck in theboratory. Now, she was standing cautiously at my right side.


    "How does it feel?"


    I slowly moved the arm that was attached to me. It felt truly miraculous, perhaps because it responded to mana and felt just like my real arm.


    Not only did it move as desired, but I could also feel sensations on this hand, such as the cool air of theb.


    It was this moment when I once again realized how remarkable Professor Fel Petra was.


    "It is extremely impressive. It feels almost no different from a real arm."


    Although the sense of liveliness and sensation was dullerpared to my left arm, the difference was slight.


    However, it was worlds apart from simply attaching a mannequin-like hand.


    "If the sensation was full, you could also feel pain. I intentionally reduced the sensitivity to prepare for any emergencies."


    "..."


    "P-Professor Deus often deals with dangerous tasks, after all."


    "So, if you increase the sensitivity to the maximum, it will be almost identical to a real hand?"


    Erica, who was listening quietly from the side, tilted her head and posed a question. Professor Fel chuckled and scratched the back of her shaggy head.


    "It''s impossible to achieve perfection, but I''m trying to make it feel as simr as possible."


    Unlike when speaking to me, Professor Fel''s voice weakened and her tone rose when she was conversing with Erica.


    Since Erica was the one who brought her to Loberne Academy, she seemed to have established herself as someone close to Professor Fel.


    I left the two, who were starting to talk about prosthetic arms, and inspected my right arm.


    I twisted it around, poked it with my left hand, and pressed it with my fingernails.


    It felt foreign, but I could definitely feel sensations.


    I knew that Professor Fel was continuously researching to achieve perfect imitation arms.


    However, if things continued like this...


    "..."


    I slowly turned my head.


    Although Erica and Professor Fel couldn’t see them, I noticed that both the Dark Spiritualist and Ste were staring at my right arm intently.


    <strong>[It is extremely fascinating.]</strong>


    <strong>[If only she met me while I was alive, I would have been able to offer her a lot of help.]</strong>


    "If..."


    I unintentionally blurted a word out but quickly shut my mouth, realizing it was too early to say that.


    However, the Dark Spiritualist and Ste seemed to find it odd, tilting their heads as they nced my way.


    <strong>[What?]</strong>


    <strong>[Is there any problem?]</strong>


    "...No, it is nothing."


    I shook my head in response. They looked intrigued but decided to let it slide for now.


    After roughly finishing the adjustments on my right arm and listening to Professor Fel''s precautions, she cautiously and unexpectedly made one request.


    "Uhm, may I ask for one favor?"


    "Of course."


    Since she had done me a big favor by providing and attaching this prosthetic arm on me without receiving any payment, I could not refuse any of her requests.


    Professor Fel suddenly blurted out a somewhat unrted request.


    ***"<em>Hmm, hmm.</em>"


    Erica awkwardly cleared her throat.


    She said she was going out of the room for a moment, but when she returned, she had already changed into a white blouse and a ck skirt that reached down to her ankles, not the usual suit she wore for lectures.


    Her figure, which was hidden until now, was clearly revealed as the blouse was tightened due to the corset.


    "We are just going to buy some dessert real quick."


    "I-I know."


    Erica approached my side, keeping just enough distance for her arm to touch mine.


    Professor Fel’s request was for me to run an errand downtown and buy dessert, in addition to testing the operation of the prosthetic arm.


    Erica often bought dessert and brought it to theb a few times before. It seemed like Professor Fel quite liked the dessert.


    Since only Erica knew of the store’s location, it was natural for me to go with her.


    "B-by any chance, are they, the Dark Spiritualist and Saintess Ste, nearby?"


    I shook my head in response to her careful question.


    "The Dark Spiritualist is probably chaperoning Ste around the academy."


    Since it was Ste''s first time at Loberne Academy, the Dark Spiritualist was showing her around the ce after shrugging.


    I thought she was being smug over something strange, but I remembered Ste smiling with her eyes, saying to just leave it because the Dark Spiritualist was being cute.


    "And Findenai?"


    Although it felt like she was checking every single detail, I first continued to answer.


    "She is cleaning the room."


    "So, she does that kind of thing too?"


    Regardless, she was still a maid. Wasn’t it a natural thing that she would be doing these chores? Of course, she didin about why she had to do maid-like duties.


    Since Illuania wasn''t here, she must have taken Owen along to make use of him.


    The surrounding breeze was cool.


    It seemed too cold to wear a blouse, but when I nced at Erica, I saw a golden butterfly perched on her shoulder.


    I wondered if it had settled there without me noticing, but within it, I could feel a warm and fuzzy feeling gently wafting out.


    "Is that an elemental?"


    "Ah, yeah. As you said, elementals seem to get along well with me."


    It was because after Erica started handling elemental magic in thetter part of the game, she became quite a good ally.


    Since I knew of this information, I simply mentioned it to her a little earlier.


    "..."


    "..."


    A few minutes of silence passed as we walked.


    It didn''t feel particrly awkward, but I couldn''t tell what she was thinking because her hair was covering her face and hiding her expression.


    Only the back of our hands briefly brushed each other as we continued to maintain an appropriate distance.


    "Come to think of it, after conducting some lectures, I have some questions rted to it."


    After conducting lectures as a professor, there were a few questions I wanted to ask her.


    Since I hadn''t had time to think about these trivial matters for a while, they naturally came to mind once I was free.


    Erica hesitated for a moment, and then responded without looking at me.


    "Can you askter?"


    "It is nothing major. Since we have some time left, it will not take too long to hear it, right?"


    After all, we had time to spare.


    I thought I should be spending my time efficiently since I didn''t know how long it would take for us to get to the dessert shop.


    "...I don''t like talking about work during a date."


    <em>Thud</em>.


    I unconsciously halted my steps. Erica also stopped after a few more steps ahead.


    I wanted to exin that I hadn''t thought of our errand that way, but when I saw Erica, who was trying to hide her flushed face with embarrassment, I couldn''t help but remain silent.


    "You really…ck consideration.”


    Since I didn’t know much about this kind of thing, I honestly confessed and apologized to her. Erica responded with a bitter smile and a still-blushing face.


    "I know you have feelings for someone else."


    "..."


    "But you''re still unsure about that, are you?"


    It was like tapping a stepping stone when crossing a small stream for the first time.


    I needed a firm understanding of the emotions brewing within me.


    Because…


    The emotions I harbored for Findenai,


    The emotions I harbored for Erica,


    The emotions I harbored for Ste,


    They were all different.


    I couldn’t help but feel confused. Though each showed simrity, I wasn''t sure which was genuine love.


    I slowly examined my own feelings using the love Deus Verdi had left behind for Illuania.


    "As of now, I am unable to determine which one of you I have feelings for."


    "..."


    "Furthermore, in preparation for the future, even if I find an answer, I have no intention of engaging in a rtionship beyond our current for the next four years."


    "Four years..."


    Erica dwelled over my words. It had been a year now and the first-year students had be second-years.


    For the sake of preventing the continent''s downfall, I had to set aside any personal emotions.


    "If you think this is improper, I will not make any excuses; I will send you the annulment letter right away if you want to rescind our engagement."


    Erica had returned the annulment letter to me at the festivalst time.


    "Because Ick understanding in this area, I need certainty in my emotions."


    "If I were to say I dislike you, would you really just let me go?"


    Erica slowly reached out her hand and grabbed the hem of my cor. Normally, I might not have understood the meaning behind this gesture, but for some reason, I felt like I knew what she was trying to convey.


    Dismay.


    Perhaps that was why.


    "I think the emotions I shared with Findenai could be love."


    "..."


    "That is why I wanted to keep my distance from others. I did not want to needlessly hurt them by giving them false hope."


    I gave a response that was somewhat unlike myself.


    "But..."


    "..."


    "I am also considering that even this warm moment I am sharing with you now could be love.”


    "....!"


    "I am sorry.”


    Knowing my words could cause pain to her, I couldn''t help but offer an apology.


    However, it wasn''t a lie.


    What Deus felt for Illuania was simr to what I felt for Findenai and Erica.


    "If it causes you grief, you can leave me at any time."


    "And then…"


    Erica took a step forward to approach me.


    Her hand was still firmly gripping my cor.


    "What if I leave, and you finally realize it was love?"


    What if one day I realized that I actually loved Erica, but she had already moved on, forgotten about me, and found another lover?


    After a moment of contemtion, I looked at her and responded.


    "I once read this from a book; unrequited love is like a sparrow."


    "A sparrow? That''s random."


    "It is something you might unexpectedly glimpse while walking down the street, but you can never catch it."


    "..."


    "You might even regret not being able to catch it although you found it so unexpectedly."


    It wasn''t difficult to imagine.


    If Erica was to distance herself from me—it felt like such a future could indeed exist.


    "When that ever happens, I will look up at the sky and hope to see you flying beautifully."


    "..."


    "Whatever choice you make, I will wish for your happiness."


    It was an honest response.


    This was the only affirmation I could offer at the moment.


    In response to my statement that I would let her spread her wings and fly away if she chose to, Erica took another step closer.


    Erica, who was already close to me, took a deep breath and gave me a chilly re.


    "Can I hit you once?"


    "As many times as you would like."


    Thinking I would get pped by her, I slowly closed my eyes.


    <em>Swish</em>!


    Erica grabbed me firmly by the nape and suddenly pulled me forward.


    <em>Kwwaaakk</em>.


    Along with a soft sensation behind my neck, I felt the hardness of her teeth.


    Although I was not sure for what reason she smooched me, I realized Erica left a mark there.


    "Does it hurt?"


    "It stings a bit."


    "But the wound remains."


    She was right.


    As I ced my hand on my nape, I felt my skin swell.


    "We don''t know what the oue will be; you might even realize your feelings for someone else and go to them."


    Since it wasn''t a false statement, I didn''t deny it.


    Perhaps envisioning that scenario, Erica''s eyes became moist, and yet she still maintained her smile.


    While doing so, she grabbed my coat with both hands as if to prevent me from escaping.


    "If that timees, the scars will sting within me, but they''re also evidence that I loved you."


    "..."


    "Deus, if someone has to feel hurt, even if just a little."


    Erica brought her forehead to my chest and whispered.


    "That person will be me."


    "Erica."


    "So, find your answer. You don’t need to hesitate or worry about hurting me."


    Her voice, while mixed with a sob, wasn’t a cry.


    I couldn''t see her expression, but I sensed a resolute determination oveing her sorrow.


    "Because no matter the answer you give me, I hope you will be happy."