The walk back to the cabin was quiet as Alex once again placed himself between Carbon and someone that she should be kept separate from while in public. Unlike when he had done this with Eleya a few hours ago, he wasn’t worried about a fight. Quite the opposite, actually, given how Carbon clung to his arm and leaned on his shoulder.


    Neya looked shaken. Her eyes were open wider than normal, her ears and antenna still lifted up in alarm. Her tail lacked the usual sinuous motion behind her as she walked, the movement there but muted, the appendage itself puffed out and rigid, the grace it usually showed set aside for now. Their Zeshen had not spoken a single word since they left Eleya’s quarters. Not made a noise. If she could have been more pale, she would have.


    Well. Alex and Neya were quiet, Carbon was a fountain of generally affectionate sounds. She wasn’t talking more, at least, but the closer to the cabin they got, further from public areas where impropriety would be noticed, the more handsy she was getting. Alex hadn’t had anyone else put their hand in his back pocket in a long time, and it was pretty clear what Carbon had on her mind as she groped him and giggled about it.


    She really wasn’t reading the room.


    Carbon was not so drunk she needed help getting her jacket off, but Neya did assist her with getting it on the hanger and then herded Carbon into their room proper even as she tried to continue her affectionate but very tone-deaf molestation spree.


    Alex closed the door to the foyer behind him. He didn’t bother taking his jacket off. He hadn’t buttoned it up in the first place, so it was just an extra shirt to him at this point. “Alright, family discussion time. Everybody at the table.” Damn, he sounded like his dad when he said that. Twenty-six was too young to be turning into his father.


    Neya sighed softly as she aimed Carbon at the kitchen table, getting her seated before taking all those shopping bags off it and setting them beside the bed. She circled around to the side Alex normally sat on by himself and took the seat beside his. She did not ease into the chair, sitting rigidly with her tail curled around her waist, petting it quietly to self-soothe as she stared into the distance.


    Carbon leaned on her elbows, grumbling about the call to talk the entire time. “Can this wait until the morning?” She inquired, very much not interested in doing anything that required a discussion right now.


    “No.” Alex was not going to sugarcoat this. He was surprised to find just how spicy that word came out, more annoyed at her behavior now that he wasn’t keeping his own reactions locked down to avoid further public discussion of what Carbon had said. The thing they had been trying to avoid in front of the person that they probably wanted to avoid saying it in front of the most. He plucked some cups from the cabinet and poured them all a nice, tall glass of water and distributed them to the table. He did not stick around, turning back to put a pot of water on to boil. It felt like a tea kind of night. Probably some food, too.


    Carbon huffed and rolled her eyes. “There will be plenty of time to pack in the morning!” By the time she finished that sentence, she was singing, teasing.


    “Ah, no. We’re not waiting until the last minute to pack.” Oh no, he was turning into his dad. Alex set the kettle down and poked around the stove controls until it came on with a beep, the little display he thought of as a throttle lit up all the way. “That’s not what we’re talking about either, wife.”


    She let out an annoyed groan and drank her water. “Fine. What is it that we must discuss?”


    “Seriously?” Alex didn’t bother restraining the irritation in his voice this time. He had moved on to rooting around in the fridge, half a bowl of some kind of cold spread from last night about the only thing that was ready to go. He plucked it out and retrieved the bag of bread that went along with it from the cupboard, setting everything down on the table with a little more force than necessary.


    Neya looked over with alarm - she had begun to relax, antennae that were nearly down at their normal height once again aloft.


    Alex slid into his seat and patted her shoulder. “Sorry.”


    Carbon was still too deep in the drink to understand what was going on here. “Well, what is it that we must discuss?”


    “Do you remember anything about what happened at Eleya’s place?” He was pretty sure she didn’t, but maybe getting her talking about it would jog the memory.


    “We went in, she mixed up a drink as she does. Kalaatan. A bit sour for my preference, but perfectly fine in moderation.” She reached out and opened the bread, eating a finger-sized piece dry. Not having her memory jogged very much yet. “We had been talking about my mother. The fact that Eleya regrets that she will never have the chance to attempt to make up for what she had done to her as well.”


    “Ok, that’s... That’s good.” It was good. There was more remorse to be found in Eleya, she was not just fixing this one thing to feel good about herself. “How about after you fell asleep?”


    She looked at him, dumbfounded. “I did not fall asleep.”


    Alex raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, you did. Remember when I just appeared out of nowhere? Telling you that you had fallen asleep?”


    Carbon had picked up a second piece of bread, scooped some of the dip out with it, and now held it in front of her mouth as she concentrated very hard on what Alex had just said. Her head tilted, brow furrowed, ears shifting as she ran down what she remembered. “So you did. That, and it was time to go home.” She nodded and popped the snack into her mouth.


    “Right.” Ok, so the memories were in there, slow as they were to be dragged back to the surface.


    “And we have come home!” She said cheerfully, a wide smile crossing her muzzle as bright blue eyes slowly focused on Alex. “I still do not understand why this requires a discussion, boyfriend.”


    The last word was piped through his translator, Carbon calling him atalna again. Cute. Alex exhaled through his teeth. “What did you call Neya?”


    Her eyebrows knit together. “What?”


    Guess he was just going to have to drag her directly to the point. “When you were waking up, do you remember what you called Neya? In front of your aunt?”


    “No. Was it bad? I do not...” She looked to Neya, concern finally starting to rise in her as she petered off. Her eyes widened and she slowly reached up to wrap her hands around her muzzle and laid her head down on the table facing away from them with a muffled whine.


    There we go. At least she remembered it and didn''t have to be convinced of having called Neya her wife in front of the Empress. “Right. That’s why we’re having this conversation.”


    Carbon groaned in an entirely different way this time. “I am going to throw up.”


    Alex’s first instinct was to slide his chair back, which he did. Once would be funny eventually. Twice was setting a precedent. “Hang on. I believe we covered well enough, and you’re kinda drunk... So I assume it’s plausible you could have just said that because it was the first word that was close enough to what you wanted.”


    “I do not drink this much.” She was annoyed again, directed inward now. “I should not have agreed to the Kala.”


    Neya nodded in the edge of Alex’s vision. “I knew several Zeshen who did drink often, and they sometimes had a hard time with speech even when not obviously drunk.” She added very quietly, addressing her cup of water more than either of them.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.


    “Alright. So we’ve retained plausibility.” Hanging out with Intelligence was starting to show up in the weirdest places. “We will do our best to avoid a repeat of this going forward until we’ve collectively decided to share this information.”


    “Yes.” Carbon released her snout and buried her face in her hands, breathing hard and just on the edge of hyperventilating.


    The kettle boiled behind them, Neya springing up as the little chime they used in place of a whistle started to ring. “I will take care of it.” The usual charm was gone from her voice, replaced with terse, clipped words.


    “So. Hate to drop this on you like that, but we all have to be more careful. Like I said, we are very bad at keeping secrets. I think she bought that you were just drunk. Hell, she called me to tell me that you were asleep and asked my opinion on what to do with you.” Alex found a brief laugh in him despite the fact that the jig could very well have been up in regards to Neya and her non-standard relationship with them.


    “She did?” Carbon sat up, surprised, eyes turning towards the clock on the wall and narrowing as she scrutinized it. “Oh. It has not been long.”


    “Nope. Still early.”


    Carbon smoothed the fur on her face, elbows once again resting on the table and still hiding behind her hands. “I find it interesting that she sought your counsel.”


    “She said she didn’t know you well enough and wanted whatever would be best for you.” He shrugged. “Probably the most humble thing I’ve heard her say.”


    “Yes it... It has been a strange day with her. Asks my permission to share a space. Apologizes for old wrongs. Speaks on her feelings, and even welcomed some harsh things I had to say-” Carbon stopped and really thought about how she wanted to describe it. “Like she was the sister I once thought her to be.”


    Neya returned, a trivet and three mugs in one hand, pot of tea in the other. She set everything out in the middle of the table with practiced ease and poured them all a steaming hot cup before returning to her seat.


    “Thank you.” Alex moved his mug from the sort of central location of the table to directly in front of himself. Still way too hot to drink, the informal setting required claiming a mug. The little formality taken care of, he looked to Carbon. “She wants her family back.”


    “She has her family, we are right here.” Despite the serious turn, Carbon was still at least two sheets to the wind as she also took a mug of tea.


    “Is that how you really feel about me?” Neya inserted herself into the conversation without warning, again staring at the table and talking at the two untouched beverages in front of her. The words were loud but her voice very tenuous as her fears of losing Carbon and being shipped off to distant corners of the Empire for violating what a Zeshen was supposed to be were freshly renewed.


    Alex and Carbon were both caught off guard by that. They both understood who it was directed towards, at least.


    Carbon worried her fingertips together, gathering herself up and switching to Tsla to speak to her directly. “In the past few days... I have considered Alex’s statement that the first morning he saw us interacting as we normally do... That he thought we behaved like a married couple. Upon reflecting on that, I am inclined to agree. We did act as such, though at the time I did not see it.”


    It felt like he was being thrown under the bus. “I did say that.” Not much to complain about as it was factually true. Not yet at least.


    “He told me, as well. I have never been married, but I have long suspected it to be similar to what is presented as married in my stories. When I consider that, I find that I have unconsciously used those to inform my interaction with you. But I had never-” She was looking at Carbon now, morose as she fiddled with the piping hot mug of tea in her hand. Neya heaved a sigh before she continued, “I had considered you like that. A fantasy cast out each time it returned. I knew it was not something for me, or for us.”


    “Why does it appear to have hurt you so?” Carbon asked, confused, and clearly wishing she hadn’t been drinking so much. “If it was something you desired?”


    “It is! I wish it to be true!” She leaned in, emphatic, practically shouting. “But I did not want to hear it recklessly spill out, standing at an arm''s length from someone who can destroy everything we have!”


    “Ah. I see.” Carbon continued to worry her fingers together while staring down at them, dark lips pursed tight as the realization of what she had done settled in.


    “Hey, credit where it’s due... You did recover from that really well. Played off me like nothing happened.” There had been a moment where he wasn’t sure Neya would manage it. She would freeze up, or slip further into panic and end up hyperventilating and begging to not be shipped out.


    “Thank you. Seeing you react as you did, it helped. I felt such panic in that moment but you just kept talking to her.” Neya smiled faintly at him, shaking her head. “Carbon has been very specific about not letting anyone refer to me as just her Zeshen, and when I heard what she said, that reply just came to me like I hadn’t been ready to run away a second before.”


    “Pilot training involves a lot of practicing in situations where things are unraveling around you. Even with an atmospheric license, I had to learn to keep my head about me if the engines cut out or I lost instruments. I guess there’s some crossover.” It made sense. He was finding himself in more situations where reacting to surprising information would give away something he did not want to communicate by accident. No sense in losing your head, just run down the checklist until you regain control of the ship or it impacts something.


    Alex did not enjoy that revelation.


    Carbon squeaked from across the table, drawing their attention to her. She was watching them with big wet eyes, tears carving damp trails in her fur, lower lip quivering. “I love you both so much! I am so sorry I did this!”


    “Yeah. It was an accident. A little too much truth slipped out.” Alex reached over and patted her hands, still wrapped around her mug. “Love you too.”


    “I would like to have heard it in a different situation, perhaps somewhere more private, but it makes my heart light.” Neya wasn’t quite back to normal, her brush with those deeply seated fears still too fresh, but she did manage to direct a smile at Carbon.


    This just kicked the waterworks up a notch, Carbon bawling into her tea.


    “So, uh... You want to take first shift comforting our drunk wife until she can be involved in a conversation, or should I?” Alex looked from his mess of a wife to Neya. He suspected what they needed to talk about - that Carbon had spilled their secret in front of Eleya just about scared the skin off Neya in the process - was done at this point. Carbon got it. She wasn’t a regular drinker so this was not likely to be something that happened again.


    A hint of a blush crossed Neya’s face. “If you wish to continue to describe her like that, I can be convinced to do so. Otherwise, we will need a coin.”


    “Should be easy enough.” He laughed and stood, drawing Carbon up into a hug and wiping her tears away before releasing her into Neya’s care. Alex wasn’t surprised at all that Carbon felt that way, it had been obvious since that first morning. This was so far from what he had expected to be doing at any point in his life that any previous ‘normal’ plans he had were already tossed into the bin and he’d been at this marriage thing for a whopping two weeks.


    He sat back down and sipped his tea, watching them sit on the bed, Carbon’s interest in shopping suddenly renewed as she noticed the bags and began to enthusiastically talk about all the stuff she had done with Audry.


    Maybe the intensity of what had gone on between them on the Kshlav’o had done a bigger number on him that he thought. There had been jealousy in him at one point in his life, a little bit at least. But what was there to be jealous of? Not only did he currently have what he wanted, he had more. Yeah there was a lot of stuff he was not fond of, every single Intelligence agency he was in contact with could fuck right off for starters. He did not want to be a pawn in anyone’s game.


    He would allow himself to get moved around the board a few times if the classic ships kept coming in, though. Not too proud to admit that.


    Alex was lost in thought until Neya made a noise that sounded particularly interested in something. He glanced up, one of the bags now partially unpacked on the bed. Oh look, Carbon bought a bikini. Hm. That was interesting.


    He was sure he’d get the rundown on everything she had gotten. If not when he tagged in so that Neya could handle Carbon’s packing, then when they had weeks of free time while on their way to Na’o. To be frank, Neya was going to be handling the Tsla’o side of his packing as well. He still hadn’t learned to wrap the daman right, let alone how to tell which piece did what without laying everything out first. He could handle the pants, t-shirts, and underwear no problem, at least. He just knew there would be at least one dinner where formal wear would be called for.


    Alex rose and stretched, and went to rifle through the pile of baggage that Neya had arranged by the bench no one used. They were scheduled to board the Starbound late in the morning and be underway that afternoon, but they were still expected to be somewhere in the morning. No point in rushing around if you can avoid it.


    The two suitcases were pretty self-explanatory. Brand new, black cloth trimmed in what he had come to define as ‘their’ colors - he grabbed the red one and opened it up, already partially packed with all those folded up lengths of cloth that would become his base layer for formal events. Well, good to see someone was thinking ahead.