Amdirlain’s PoV - Limbo - Monastery of Will’s Hand
The afternoon’s class had resulted in a new knowledge Skill for Amdirlain with hours spent covering Githzérai history. Neither Elliyna’s session nor her night had provided surprises, even if the mental exertions continued to wear her down. Fortunately, it wasn’t until after breakfast that the subsequent disruption to the promised stability occurred. The presence of Master Jarith? and an exhausted Liran? upon their return to the courtyard caught Amdirlain flat-footed, but it was a pleasing surprise.
“You look wrung out, Liran?,” Amdirlain said, happy to see her up and about. “Is your recovery going okay?”
At her words, Master Jarith?’s relaxed expression gained an exasperated edge. “Know you’ll need to address Master Liran? as you do other Masters going forward, Novice Amdirlain.”
“My apologies, Master Jarith?. Please forgive me, Master Liran?. I didn’t realise such was the correct address to a visitor.”
“Know that the title isn’t used for all guests, Novice Amdirlain, save for honoured visitors like Master Elliyna. Know they’ve stripped me of my position, so Master Jarith? offered me a posting,” said Liran?, her voice weighed with fatigue.
“Who dismissed you? They must be a complete fucking moron!” exclaimed Amdirlain. The spark of rage started an inferno that seared along her nerves and pulsed in her ears. Angelic Aura erupted and had flames flickering around her—fuelled by the anger she had to fight to restrain—but the first flare was enough to cause Novices to recoil.
The Masters didn’t flinch, and Amdirlain felt calming energy cut them off from the fear. A barrier that kept them isolated while she wrested the Power back under control. Its impact unsurprisingly didn’t end when the sensation abated, given the girl’s fixed, wide-eyed expressions.
“Know that it is unworthy of distress and is simply part of life’s journey,” replied Liran?. “Know you have my apologies for interfering with your healing with such news. Know that I find it frustrating only in that I couldn’t tell them where to shove their position first.”
Amdirlain, turning her attention to the girls once she finally had herself braced. “My apologies, everyone, I wasn’t expecting that Power to activate. My emotions have me off balance at present.”
Pulling her gaze from their fear struck expressions, she gave Master Jarith? a bow. “Might I request a change in arrangements, Master Jarith?? Perhaps I shouldn’t be among Novices until my condition is more stable.”
“Know that once we stop disrupting you, the routine will aid you and those able to see the benefits of your experience. Know I believe that even the rudest Novice is safe in your presence,” refuted Master Jarith?. His gaze suddenly sternly jumped across Sarith and some other Novices, who had never spoken to her.
Wonder what they’ve been saying when I’m not around? He seems unimpressed.
Still working to hold the aura from activating, Amdirlain didn’t argue but simply bowed in acceptance. “Yes, Master Jarith?.”
“Know this afternoon’s language lessons are being adjusted. Know any Novices interested in Mana Affinities should return here instead of attending that lesson,” Master Jarith? stated before looking at Amdirlain. “Know there will be others in attendance besides Novices.”
Taken aback by the news, Amdirlain only managed a hesitant response. “I wasn’t expecting the council discussions to conclude so quickly.”
“Know we concluded those discussions before breakfast when the new council met, thus it was expedient for me to deliver the news and guide Master Liran? here,” stated Jarith?. With a nod, Master Tenzin simply walked away unhurriedly.
New council?
“Know that it is time to begin practice. Know that Master Liran? will guide this class going forward, and I’ll circulate to correct form where required,” stated Tenzin. Putting a hand on the closest Novice’s shoulder, she coaxed her towards the practise area, and the moment Amdirlain hesitated, she received a stern look. Amdirlain wasn’t focused on Tenzin though, instead, she was taking in the fearful eyes of the petrified girls.
“I shouldn’t—”
“Know you shouldn’t give up so easily; that wasn’t the example you showed me in the stadium Novice Amdirlain,” Liran? said and motioned her to move into position.
“I was the one at risk in the stadium, not anyone else,” countered Amdirlain.
Liran? rubbed the side of her face and gave Amdirlain an amused look. “Know I remember a few punches that risked my consciousness. Know that you should take your place, Novice Amdirlain. Or do you seek to delay the lesson?”
“Says the Battlemaster Zerth with three Prestige Classes compared to my one. Plus, you fought for the chance to get punched in the face,” chided Amdirlain but headed for her spot.
Nomein licked her lips nervously but took position next to her. “Master Liran? resisted that sensation the entire fight?” The question came with a nervous glance, and Amdirlain felt her self-disgust stab deep.
“That’s only a hint of the effect, but yes, she did.” agreed Amdirlain.
“How is that a protection?” whispered Nomein with morbid curiosity, her voice still edged with fear.
“It has a defensive effect but also radiates blood lust and rage, which scares most that feel it. Giving in to those effects or spending the mental effort to fight them provides advantages,” replied Amdirlain, her voice brittle with the loathing writhing within.
“Novices,” reproved Liran?, and those who’d been listening to their exchange snapped their attention forward.
Liran? looked them over before she exchanged bows to start the class. “Know that Novice Amdirlain has many interesting surprises, but it’s not this class’s purpose to discuss them. Know you will follow my example while we stretch and during the execution of forms exactly as you had with Master Tenzin.”
The class followed the same routine as previous days until the Novices started towards the wall for their run. When Amdirlain moved to join the others running, Liran? motioned her over.
“Know I’ve spoken to Master Elliyna about what might assist you—guidance, not details—though what she said was enough to realise I’d been fortunate in my recovery. Know that you’re not alone in dealing with mental injuries, and when recovering, I found it useful to practice forms in the mist style. Have you heard of it?”
Not wanting to assume, Amdirlain didn’t hesitate in admitting her ignorance. “No, I’ve only been copying Master Tenzin’s forms so far.”
“Know to execute every motion you are but drifting mist. Know while it is normally used to practice a perfection of form, it can also help find a calm centre,” said Liran?.
“Some Novices are going to be thrilled to have you instructing them. It’s perhaps a sensitive subject, but it sounds like you inspired at least one Novice during the competition for your stolen role.”
“Know what another can take, was never truly yours. Know perhaps I needed the lesson that titles and honours are just another material thing,” replied Liran?, and paused before adding. “Did anyone inform you of the champion’s purpose?”
“I take it not just to punch someone in the face for offending the Grandmaster,” quipped Amdirlain.
The briefest flicker of a smile showed itself, but Liran? kept her composure. “Know the role’s primary purpose is supposed to be a representative in arguments grown past mediators. Know that while political, it was a role intended to lessen conflict to an individual level instead of mobilising armies where many combatants might perish.”
At the bitter tone in her voice, Amdirlain gave a reluctant nod. “I can understand you wanting to quit the role if you saw the role’s purpose being perverted. I’d like to introduce you to my teacher when there is time, though he’s not a Githzérai.”
“Know that for ones—like you and I—to find comparable practitioners is rare,” Liran? said, waving off the concern and smiled eagerly. “Is he as skilled as yourself?”
Amdirlain had to chuckle at the excited edge in her question. “Far more skilled than I am, though our unarmed styles are different.”
The smile was still present when Liran? motioned her back to her position. “Know that you should begin with the same forms that Master Tenzin had you practice previous days. Know each form should be slow like mist swirling on a breath of breeze. Before you begin, what was the name of the Novice you said I inspired?”
“I’m told Sarith was a devotee during your past challenges, Master Liran?. She was upset my conduct dishonoured you,” replied Amdirlain and exchanged bows before moving back to her position. The first punch contained a burst of rage that slapped the air, and Amdirlain sighed in frustration. Trying to feel the Ki mist inside for inspiration, she found it churning about, and even the pool had rage driven chop churning its surface.
“Know your pace should match this feather’s fall,” Liran? said, and a feather appeared drifting beside her. “Know you should seek to slow each movement until they drift and flow. Know each result provides a gauge for the next attempt rather than determining failure or success.”
Focused on the drifting feather, Amdirlain didn’t consciously punch but tried to relax and let her body drift. Despite her intentions, she still finished a dozen punches by the time it touched the ground, only for it to disappear and fall again.
“Know that your punches are still tight with anger and fear; ensure you don’t let frustration also empower them. Know each step taken is a chance to learn about ourselves,” said Liran? after dozens of feather falls, and Amdirlain continued on. The Novices returned to their positions, and Liran? gave them similar instructions. Tenzin and Liran? circulated among them, providing corrections to forms as they went. Each form they practiced, Amdirlain tried to slow hers to match the feather that Liran? kept falling out front of the class. It was only when she stepped past the fear in the gazes directed her way that she succeeded.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Know I don’t know what your Prestige Class is, but I’ll find the strength to deal with your likes,” Sarith hissed, the moment Liran? dismissed them. Not even looking at Amdirlain, she walked towards others already welcoming Master Liran?.
“Know those flames along your fingers were a strange colour,” Nomein shared timidly, before heading inside along with the others that had clustered around Amdirlain the other morning.
Is Master Jarith?’s idea insisting I stay among them actually the best for them?
Crystalline music suddenly made the air sing around Amdirlain, and Isa’s voice whispered in her ear. The message in English and the heart-broken tone pure Rachel—not the near-stranger—that the tears of relief flowed.
“Ebusuku said to leave you be, but for hours I’ve felt I needed to send you a message. I can’t tell you how sorry we both are and while I’m not sure it will make sense, I’ll try to explain. To me now, everything has music telling me constantly what lies beneath the surface. I’m used to the insight provided about what others are truly feeling with all the false fronts in Hell, but I just got silence from you. I fucked up and misunderstood your pain as disapproval. There was an energy from you punching and pushing against me; I realise now it was likely your Charisma. But that’s on me. I should have asked, and I didn’t even ask if you were okay.”
The moment the first message ended, another followed, and Amdirlain didn’t trust herself to respond to either.
“Ilya was at her paranoid jerk best, but I was at a complete douche canoe grade—A arse hat—level, and our behaviour sucked. I am truly sorry, Amdirlain for any pain we caused you. We’re taking care of some tasks for your people—things Ebusuku says we’re allowed to get involved in. You concentrate on getting well. Pretend it’s a martial arts retreat—that’s if it isn’t—not yet another course of chemo and don’t find an excuse to stop. The sorry from Ilya wasn’t just me saying so. I’m rambling, sorry. I also want to strangle you because it’s clear you blame yourself, but don’t you dare; you’re not responsible. Please don’t answer yet. Vent at me in person after you get better.”
Pushing back old memories of drips, nurses, and days of never-ending nausea, Amdirlain focused on the regret in her friend’s voice. When soft footsteps nearby tapped across Tremor Sense, they snapped her attention back to the world. The size too large for a Novice, she wasn’t surprised it was Liran? standing just out of arm’s reach.
“Sorry, I received a message from a friend,” sniffled Amdirlain, pressing her palms to her eyes to blot away tears.
“Know that tears don’t always mean bad news. Is it something you wish to speak about, to Elliyna if not me?”
“A friend I thought perhaps I’d lost checking in on me, and letting me know a situation isn’t as bad as I thought,” replied Amdirlain.
Liran? nodded calmly. “Know that good news can strike deeply into wounded emotions. Will you join them for the meal?”
She considered the question and fought back the words that fought to escape before choosing a polite response. “I didn’t think that was optional.”
[Diplomacy (19->20)]
”Know the meal isn’t optional, but your response shows your preference to avoid it,” nudged Liran? and clasped a hand on her shoulder. “Know that children are resilient, and like all dangerous animals, sense weakness they can exploit. Is it not best to show a brave face, so they don’t rip you apart?”
“How comforting,” murmured Amdirlain.
“Why did you mention Novice Sarith to me when she clearly dislikes you?”
“Why should I get between her and one who inspired her? Her dislike of me affects her emotions more than mine, and I’m aware of what it’s like to have things come apart at her age. She doesn’t want me here, and I scared her today. Her hostility isn’t great, but it’s certainly not shattering my world. Whereas in a teenager’s life, lots of things seem world-shattering.”
Is that why the first thing I did was remove my hair? To get past what had once been THE worst thing to me?
Her words set a thoughtful look on Liran?’s face, and her subject change took Amdirlain off guard when she spoke. “What inspires you, Novice Amdirlain? Why did you train as a Monk?”
“My situation is unique. I didn’t have a lot of viable choices,” replied Amdirlain, shying away from thinking of other considerations from the ledge.
“Know that it might seem so, but perhaps it isn’t. Why not take time to determine precisely why Monk called you to pursue it so strongly? Know finding that for me helped my recovery—perhaps it would aid yours,” offered Liran?, and headed for the door, and called over her shoulder. “Know that Master Tenzin will expect you in the refectory on time.”
The mere thought of entering the refectory was more intimidating than being paraded through the Sisterhood halls. It wasn’t humiliation that dug at her, but the fear she’d caused and worry about inflicting more.
Focus on facts, not your emotions.
Amdirlain mentally repeated the mantra and forced herself into motion. Zenya and Nomein arrived first and quietly took their spots near her, but without hesitation.
Nomein looked up at Amdirlain with a concerned expression that twisted Amdirlain’s stomach.
“Are you alright now, Novice Amdirlain?” asked Nomein, and Zenya fixed her with an equally concerned look.
“Me?! What about you?” objected Amdirlain in surprise.
“Know it was scary, but we talked while bathing and realised you were angry for Master Liran?, not angry at us,” Zenya stated. “Know that if you can be that protective of Master Liran? after hitting each other so much, it’s clear scaring us was unintentional.”
“Know you looked miserable when we left, so I—” Nomein started and paused at Zenya’s nudge.
“Know you still look miserable,” interjected Zenya, and Nomein continued on, “we wanted to be sure you’re okay. Know Sarith’s threat was ill spoken.”
“Sarith’s spats don’t worry me. I’m more concerned that my presence upsets her so much, and I respect her right to speak her mind. I hope she comes to see that I’m not here to cause anyone problems, but if she can’t, then she can’t,” replied Amdirlain.
“Know it’s still rude,” insisted Zenya.
“I’ve frequently been rude, so I’d be a hypocrite if I wasn’t understanding now. Her choices are her choices. I can only hope she chooses a path that doesn’t bring her harm.”
Zenya bit off her reply and gave Amdirlain a hopeful look. “Will you tell us about what Master Jarith? mentioned?”
“You’ll have to come along if you’re interested; if you don’t, then that’s your choice,” teased Amdirlain, trying to release the tension still twisting her insides.
“Why did you bid me to wait the other day?” asked Zenya, not letting up on the earnest expression.
“I didn’t have permission and also I didn’t know if the process would help any Githzérai. Master Duurth tested it the other day, and the council had to discuss it,” replied Amdirlain, and the girls nodded.
“Know that Master Jarith? mentioned a new council this morning. Do you think that’s why Master Duurth looked haggard yesterday?” asked Nomein speculatively.
“My understanding is he wasn’t previously on the council, but I do not know the selection method,” replied Amdirlain.
At Amdirlain''s admission, Nomein gave her a knowledgeable look. “Know then that all positions in monasteries and cities involve challenges to keep them. Know also if the holding Master hasn’t received a challenge in three years, they’re compelled to accept unless supported by the council leader. Do you know why Master Jarith? would turn over the old council?”
“The old council had discussions with delegate Tallis behind Master Jarith?’s back.”
Zenya’s eyes went wide and both girl’s mouth dropped slightly. “Know that Master Jarith? thrashed his challengers in Metacreativity and Chaos Shaping—just stomped them in moments. Do you think he’s normally that aggressive in challenges or was he making an explicit statement?”
“Do you mean he had two challengers or two aspects to a challenge?” enquired Amdirlain, wondering how complex the challenges could get.
Nomein nodded rapidly. “Know only one challenger was announced, and after he thrashed the first; another Master challenged him. Know Master Jarith? saying he was ready to answer the challenge immediately took him by surprise.”
Sarith’s arrival stopped whatever Zenya had been about to add, and she took her seat at the table in silence. Glaring at the three of them angrily, she crossed her arms, the muscles in her jaw flexing, but she didn’t lash out for once.
Bringing forth a psi-crystal, Nomein displayed an image of complex structures and war machines appearing on the stadium floor—each set showing a different banner. Growing in an eye blink, they quickly hemmed in Master Jarith?’s opponent in a swift real-time game of Go; every time a line of them tried to break out, he twisted them from the challenger’s control. “Isn’t it fantastic how Master Jarith?’s shut him down so quickly?”
“Know it would be fantastic if Master Jarith? shut someone else down so firmly,” quipped Zenya, giving Sarith a stern glare.
“Peace. Please don’t start arguments, Zenya,” Amdirlain consoled. “Sarith has a right to speak.”
“Know you shouldn’t tell her what to do,” snapped Sarith.
At Sarith’s objection, Zenya hissed in anger. “Know you were better off with your mouth closed. Or do you like lashing out like a Slaadi?”
“Know that we’re serving lunch today. Know the schedule got pushed about because of tables taking turns fetching drinks,” stated Nomein ignoring the pair exchanging glares.
Amdirlain glanced between them and gave Nomein a strained smile. “Did you record the other challenge?”
Sarith’s stony silence didn’t break again during the meal, but she turned rather smug when Amdirlain continued crushing box after box of the glass ornaments during the psionic lesson. By the lesson’s end, all the other Novices had unlocked the Psion Class and were keeping at least two of them aloft consistently.
Amdirlain poked the box full of shards with an accusing finger, and Nomein looked away from her floating spheres. “Know that I don’t believe poking them will help.”
“Know that you need a far lighter touch, Novice Amdirlain. Or do you believe you’re trying to crush a Slaadi’s throat?” asked Duurth, and Amdirlain signed in frustration.
“I’m trying to grasp them gently, but I don’t even sense any contact before they’ve already shattered,” grumbled Amdirlain.
The chime echoed through the corridor, and Master Duurth waved for them to go. The boxes and lids came together, landing on the table before all the Novice had risen.
Zenya leaned forward in her seat to look around Sarith at Amdirlain. “Don’t you have somewhere to be Novice Amdirlain?”
Nomein smirked, and while others shook their heads at Zenya’s antics, Sarith simply left without a word.
“I’m not sure, Novice Zenya. Why are you so interested?” asked Amdirlain. Zenya’s cheerfulness brightened her mood after another long lesson filled with breaking glass.
Nomein headed for the door, and called back, “Know I’m going to the courtyard. What about yourselves?”
“You know what? I think I’ll do the same,” Amdirlain replied, lightly and provided a smile for Zenya’s giggle.
Most of the class headed off to their next class, but Zenya, Nomein and after a moment’s uncertainty Gemiya followed her downstairs. Spotting where Master Jarith? waited alongside those assembled, Amdirlain moved to greet him as the Novices with her joined others in the last row. Their strength of waiting presences had been clear, but it still surprised Amdirlain that sixty-odd Githzérai were present and regarding her with equal parts curiosity and puzzlement.
“Master Jarith?, I wasn’t expecting this turn out for the initial instruction,” stated Amdirlain.
“Know I had planned to keep numbers down initially, but word spread, and many are hopeful. Know that we’ve organised those who are Wizards already by Affinity sought. Can you please teach the Novices with no Affinity only Air at this point so we can focus their lessons?” replied Jarith?, while moving towards the front of the gathering.
“I imagine that understanding would help with Chaos Shaping a monastery’s atmosphere,” said Amdirlain, walking beside him.
“Know that is correct, and more minds maintaining it, save the Anarchs’ energy for complex tasks. Know I have the list of what Affinities individuals are missing,” stated Jarith?.
“I’ll start with teaching Air Affinity to everyone. Some I’ve helped gain a better understanding of the Affinities, so repeating it since they’re already here might be useful,” replied Amdirlain and took the list Jarith?’s mind presented.
Amdirlain stopped before them and sat seiza-style, her example cascading through the ranks as the Githzérai sat down.
“Know that this is an exercise that involves a form of guided meditation where I’ll share my understanding of each Affinity. I’d ask you to start by centring yourself, and when you’re ready, reach mentally towards the presence I project.”
Amdirlain’s instructions echoed through the perfect quiet of the courtyard. Closing her eyes to follow her advice, she lingered amid the Ki’s now quiet mist to reach a stillness before reaching out to the gathering.
Against the scepticism in the surrounding minds, Amdirlain clung to the Ki’s calm and led them through gaining a connection to Air. One by one, their minds touched her projected mind to varying degrees, and she began when the last connected. As understanding and surprise blossomed among them, Amdirlain realised she’d gone astray. Though most had only picked up the intended Affinity, within one open mind, the Ki’s calm had drifted in.
Concerned about potentially interfering with her studies, Amdirlain projected the news to Master Jarith?. “Nomein drew more from my lesson than the Air Affinity. She connected with the Ki energy my Monk style uses. I’d healed some bruises and a split lip she got in practice using it—I don’t know if that made the difference.”
Master Jarith? responded with tight quicksilver speed, with no hint of his thoughts leaking to anyone else. “Know we’ll discuss this afterwards. Know that we’ll take the Novices through for some initial theory on Mana. Can you endeavour to keep this energy from touching anyone else’s awareness today?”