Amdirlain’s PoV - Limbo - Monastery of Will’s Hand


    Though some days Amdirlain herself didn’t find hectic, the Novices’ energy frequently had them flash by making the quiet nights feel odd. Whatever discussions were going on, they kept Cyrus absent for a week before he reappeared without fanfare at her evening training with Liran?.


    When Cyrus opened the door beyond Liran?, Amdirlain delayed her Swarm of Crystals manifestation long enough to dive to the side during its release. The unexpected direction change finally caused an edge to brush across Liran?’s Psi armour but it still didn’t break through.


    Crystals, shattered and whole alike, flung back towards her, only for Amdirlain’s Telekinetic Thrust to smash them away. Hundreds of hours playing a DPS Sage had provided the base image that was becoming pure reflex. When Liran? didn’t halt or even pause, Amdirlain kept her focus, and tried—in the end, fruitlessly—to manage a technique to breach Liran?’s protections before she called a halt. Though the progress she’d made was reward enough for the fight.


    Liran? gave her a pleased nod before she turned her attention to Cyrus. “Master Cyrus, has the bargaining concluded?”


    A moment’s concentration was all it had taken for Chaos Shaping to dispose of the shattered Crystals, and Amdirlain fixed her attention on Liran?. “Do I want to know?”


    “Know likely you don’t, but the concessions from the monastery require nothing from yourself,” replied Liran?.


    “Not that the delegation didn’t try for it, but your Master Jarith? held firm,” Cyrus stated approvingly.


    Amdirlain glanced between them, wondering what game was being played. “Is this why I haven’t been to physical training classes in the last week?”


    “Know I believe it was so their curiosity would go unsated,” teased Liran?. “Know it’s likely you won’t be attending their sessions again; it distracts them, and you don’t learn enough.”


    “The delegation knows that you can unlock an individual’s access to Ki,” said Cyrus, smiling at Liran?’s tone. “In saying that since your Novices don’t have a proper feel for the Ki yet, the delegation isn’t comfortable shifting from their traditional ways. After being blocked in their requests, they eventually kept with their own approach rather than probe into how you achieved it.”


    “The delegation,” repeated Amdirlain questioningly.


    “Yes, ‘the delegation’; not mine or even ours. My instructions were to accompany them and assist the one they met, not aid their negotiations or provide them with insights. I would have preferred to be absent from the negotiations and evening discussions, but such was not to be,” replied Cyrus with a mock sigh. “How have you progressed determining the key points in Ki Movement’s net?”


    “I’m not sure what I’ve done wrong and was hoping you had some advice,” replied Amdirlain ruefully. A moment’s concentration was all it took to force extra Ki into it, and the Power’s lines glowed across her. “I’ve found way too many from what you’ve said since I’ve identified eighty-nine anchor points.”


    Cyrus scoffed in surprise, but Amdirlain focused on key sections she’d found and pulled the Ki out of rest of the Power’s net. Spreading her arms out, she turned so he could see the points along her side and across her back. Though they swayed and shifted across her form, none she’d found showed the slightest change in shape.


    “This poses a challenge and a puzzle,” Cyrus said, after an hour with Amdirlain patiently watching him observe the glowing sections. “I’ll have to see what the Emperor’s sages have to say on this, but I can explain the next stage to you. Though your situation is going to make it more difficult than I had expected.”


    Eleven points glowed into existence at an angle across his torso, ending at his hip. As she watched, energy flowed between them, forming a constellation-like image of an odd crescent-bladed staff before it returned to the start and looped again.


    “The challenge to cycling your Ki—and likely Psi—requires determining the symbol that defines your centre and passing the energy through its pattern. Though the lines may cross, only use each node once in forming the symbol. Every loop you pass the energy through will help revitalise your Ki and eventually increase your pool’s density. It will also prevent the Ki from crystallising inside you once you get to where cycling your energy is second nature.”


    “How do I determine what point to start from, let alone which one is next?” asked Amdirlain.


    “That is why you’ve got a challenge ahead of you,” replied Cyrus, looking them over again, motioning for Amdirlain to turn yet again. “How did you recognise the key points along your back?”


    “I allowed my focus to settle into the Ki’s mist and then I could see the web glowing through it,” explained Amdirlain. “Is there a difference between those that have only a few anchor points and your eleven?”


    Cyrus gave her a nod of approval, but it was unclear if it was her approach or question. “The more points involved in your image, the greater the effect on your energy from completing each loop. Eventually, you get to where the cycling can be done with a whisper of Ki remaining, but at the start, it requires much in the way of reserves.”


    “Lots of benefits, but it could take me years to figure out,” observed Amdirlain.


    “That’s likely without the right guidance,” remarked Cyrus with a broad smile. “Planning to die soon?”


    “Not if I can help it,” grumbled Amdirlain and gave the webbing another look. “Don’t suppose you know why some people have fewer key points than others because this is crazy.”


    The whole-body shrug from the relaxed Immortal had Amdirlain’s lips twitching, but he gave her an answer after a moment’s contemplation. “There are several theories: an individual’s potential power, difficulties the Soul has overcome, the length of the Soul’s first life, and many more besides. Neither the Jade Emperor nor any Shen has seen fit to enlighten any Immortal as to the cause—to my knowledge.”


    “And what is your advice for determining the starting point?” asked Amdirlain.


    “If you start from the right one, the Ki retreats to it when you follow the wrong path, rather than fading out completely. The further along the path you go, the more Ki it requires. If you stretch towards the wrong point, the energy spent on the latest section will dissipate into the universe when you try to connect them. Though it isn’t gone for good, just spent in the same fashion as empowering abilities.”


    “Thanks, that turns this from impossible to just trial and error,” sighed Amdirlain.


    “The amount for the last section is dramatically higher than the first, even with my loop of eleven,” advised Cyrus. “Also, it took a lot of practice before I could cycle the Ki automatically. I’m not sure how long that will take you to accomplish as it varies between individuals, even after identifying the pattern. Concentrate Ki into the point you wish to start from, and you’ll feel when it’s ready to stretch to another.”


    “Do I need to master that before talking about your past life technique?”


    “You’ll need to understand the pattern to utilise the meditation technique. It is the first step on a path to finding your truths. Even the simplest patterns can provide insights into greater enlightenment for the individual in question.”


    “Know that yours looks to be a weapon. How did that enlighten you?” enquired Liran?.


    “That is where you are wrong—it’s not a weapon,” corrected Cyrus. Liran?’s sceptical look had him lighting the pattern again, and he traced from one crescent tip to the other, and then back to the middle before tracing down to his hip. “Even a waning moon can provide a ray of light to guide the footsteps of those seeking enlightenment.”


    “I’ll get started on it right away then,” Amdirlain said before giving them both a bow and leaving them to their evening.


    The morning chimes found Amdirlain running on Ki fumes, and she joined the others in the training hall later than she’d ever managed before. Master Cyrus hadn’t mentioned the amount of Ki drained away when trying to cycle between points that were both wrong. The first time four hundred Ki had vanished, spiralling out of her grasp, clarified that it was unlikely to be a process easily achieved.


    “Why do you look so bedraggled this morning, Amdirlain?” asked Zenya.


    “I have minimal Ki left at the moment; I emptied my pool and even burnt the mists away several times last night. I’d only begun meditation to restore myself when the chimes sounded,” replied Amdirlain, and knelt in her usual spot, the casual statement earning a look and nod from Master ?daka.


    “Know pushing yourself can lead to greater strength, but take care not to injure yourself,” advised ?daka.


    Closing her eyes, Amdirlain settled into her usual routine and imagined the mists rising from the droplets left in her pools before drifting it through her form.


    * * *


    Master Cyrus’s warning about the pattern’s increasing costs wasn’t a jest, and the magnitude slowed her progress to a crawl before she was even halfway through. After the discovery of the initial points, the third point took far less Ki, but the cost steadily increased again for each she attempted to connect. The pattern jumping between jagged turns and smooth arcs made it hard to figure it out, other than one step at a time. Each wrong guess towards the tail end drained such massive amounts of Ki in one fell swoop that the pattern’s discovery would take months. The only upside before its completion was that the constant strain and practice had pushed Harmony up multiple levels.


    Only the slow reduction in options prevented it from becoming frustrating amid the progress of her lessons and therapy with Elliyna. The techniques of Telepathy and Clairsentience had proved the easiest, but even so, other skills progressed until only Psychometabolism lingered an entire tier behind. While she’d completed the exploration of the lake’s shoreline, she’d also discovered an Elven giantess amid the obsidian, wrapped up in thorny vines shaped of a strange metal. Her imprisonment ignored all Amdirlain''s attempts to pry her free, even as flesh about the thorns bled.


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    The morning she’d found herself on the cusp of success, she’d struggled to leave her room, and lessons had suffered from her distracted state. So much so that even Lezekus had teased her during the day. Still, the last night wasn’t without failures, but at last, the ultimate connection transformed the constellation into a blazing pyre. Amid the blue-hot flames burned a dying phoenix reaching skywards. The jagged pattern she’d found in the beginning had transformed to shape the feathers and consuming flames. Its feathers of the brightest gold burned to ash when the Ki faded from them. The grasslands of her Mantle’s presence surrounded her personal space and glowed in the afterimage, a beguiling, lazy summer day’s warmth.


    A phoenix? Am I always being reborn through destruction? Have I never died peacefully?


    The Ki swirled inwards instead of evaporating and its tranquil power settled entirely into a pure essence within her pool. The fatigue she’d felt from that evening’s failed attempts washed away, and refreshed, she repeatedly traced the pattern before the morning meditation session, unaware of the energy in her gaze.


    Master ?daka’s jaw dropped when she entered the room, and she raised a hand for Amdirlain to stop. “Know that you may wish to return to your room, Novice Amdirlain. What were you working on last night?”


    “What’s wrong?”


    “Know that your eyes appear to have a golden light within them,” advised ?daka, and a mirror appeared in her hand. Her fine Elven features, auburn hair and caramel skin were unchanged, but a luminescent glow overrode the green of her eyes.


    “I finally got the pattern down for the Ki cycling,” admitted Amdirlain and heard footsteps coming along the corridor.


    ?daka looked her over in appraisal and frowned. “Know you appear better than you have of late, but perhaps you need to let the energies settle—that glow is eerie. Shall I have someone ask Master Cyrus to come to advise you on the next steps?”


    “It’s just the Ki’s energy. I’ll meditate here with the rest if that’s alright, but not cycle. I’ll just give it time to settle as you suggested, though I feel so refreshed and awash with energy at present.”


    “Know that would be acceptable, but only meditate and don’t cycle your Psi reserves in the same fashion,” stated ?daka, her tone edged with uncertainty.


    “Of course, Master ?daka,” replied Amdirlain, quickly taking her position and closing her eyes, relaxing in the moment’s success.


    “What technique are you practising?” Nomein asked the moment she knelt beside her.


    “What do you mean?” asked Amdirlain, feigning ignorance.


    “Know that your eyes are shining through your lids. Are you trying that Illuminated vision after all?” asked Nomein curiously. “Didn’t you say it amused you?”


    “It’s the aftereffects of the Ki cycling that Master Cyrus has guided me with,” explained Amdirlain and opened her eyes for a moment to let Nomein see the full effect.


    “Know it makes your eyes look pretty,” declared Nomein happily, only for ?daka to snort.


    “Know I find they look strange, as if she’s looking right through me and peering into my Soul,” argued ?daka.


    “Guilty conscience?” teased Amdirlain.


    The comment drew a rueful shrug from ?daka before she frowned. “Perhaps that is the issue, a reminder of my arrogance when first we met.”


    “It’s all good,” proclaimed Amdirlain cheerfully, holding herself against the energy that wanted her to move. “We took the left fork in life’s journey with that choice.”


    “Know perhaps I should have left that in our history,” rebutted ?daka, her frown disappearing at the near giggle in Amdirlain’s tone.


    “Right then!” laughed Amdirlain, delighted at even the lousy wordplay.


    The pained sigh made ?daka’s feelings clear before she shook her head at Amdirlain. “Know that I certainly prefer the left option.”


    Nomein fixed ?daka with an amused look, and her cupid-bow lips twitched. “Know that the Novices have all heard the gossip, Master ?daka. Do you feel it wasn’t your proudest moment?”


    “Know that it is a Master’s duty to provide Novices guidance, especially about what not to do,” retorted ?daka primly.


    They’d no sooner settled than Zenya entered and gave Amdirlain a puzzled look. “Why are your eyes glowing?”


    At her question, ?daka sent a targeted mental broadcast to briefly inform the others that more Amdirlain weirdness had occurred and to ignore her glowing eyes.


    “That’s harsh,” muttered Amdirlain and playfully pouted at ?daka. “I’ve been behaving myself for weeks now.”


    “Know that you might see it that way, but it’s also true that you can be a disruptive individual,” teased ?daka.


    “Know I believe she’s an excellent influence,” objected Zenya, kneeling in her spot before ?daka. “Know I saw Sarith in trainee Healer robes earlier this week.”


    Amdirlain checked to ensure Gemiya wasn’t in the corridor before she offered her information. “She had them three rest days ago; she must have avoided everyone else from this dormitory.”


    Her words caused Zenya’s jaw to drop, and she sputtered for a moment before she got her words out. “Nearly forty days? Which one do you think will give in?”


    “Know I bet neither of them, the way Sarith’s been holding Gemiya at arm’s length since that argument,” interjected Nomein. “What are your rest day plans? Will you join us this time or spar with Liran??”


    “I think Sarith will eventually, but she’s determined to be sure her choices are her own at present,” responded Amdirlain, before addressing Nomein’s question. “Liran? is busy tomorrow, so I’ll help you with Air Stop, or Wind Wall in the morning. The afternoon I want to spend progressing my Ki cycling further.”


    “Know you need to back up to Sarith’s robes. Couldn’t you have told us sooner?” asked Zenya.


    “I’m just confirming the timeline for information. Finding fresh gossip is your problem not mine,” refuted Amdirlain, shushing them when Clairvoyance showed Gemiya’s door open. “Did you finish revising those texts for Mana Theory?”


    “Know that I did, but I don’t think tonight’s exam will go well,” replied Nomein.


    The look of disbelief that Zenya shot Nomein elicited a snort of amusement from ?daka. “Know I remember you saying that last quarter’s exams and the only person who scored higher was Amdirlain. Did you get that missed point back in the end?”


    “I wasn’t the one arguing about it after we spoke about Jade Court Affinity,” Amdirlain said, and gave an unconcerned shrug. “Technically, since I’m being tested on the information learnt here, I should have lost the mark, despite my answer being valid.”


    “Know you can start your meditation now since the others will be here shortly,” urged ?daka, and the three of them stopped chatting before Gemiya reached her spot. Her resolved expression showed little change since before the last rest day, when the unhappy air she’d worn for weeks had faded away.


    Regret can make for a bitter harvest. Hopefully Sarith stops avoiding Gemiya before it’s too late. I’ve dealt with enough gangrenous flesh in my Mind Palace to know how much regret can hurt. How will I deal with regrets from lives I don’t even remember?


    Amdirlain didn’t push the concern aside, just accepted she needed to talk to Cyrus about the next stage while she worked on getting the pattern automatic. As tempting as it was to continue cycling Ki, she stuck to her word and instead settled further into the Mantle’s energy seeking its calmness. The moment her awareness touched it fully, the energy buzzing inside her washed outwards, taking a flood of the Faith that had grown within her skin. The two energies set the strands swaying wildly in the rush of power that seemed to intermingle with her Domain a Plane away. Though she experienced a momentary connection to the Domain’s Wellspring, no feedback of another’s needs pressed against her.


    Quickly she composed a panicked Message, unsure if it actually made it to her Domain, and not just spun into nothingness like the Ki she spent discovering the pattern.


    “Ebusuku, I’m hoping the Domain received a rush of energy, otherwise, it’s bled off somewhere, but it feels connected to the Domain’s wellspring.”


    Breathing in time with the strands swaying to a breeze, she sighed in relief at the near-instant response.


    “Sidero would, I’m sure, call you a cock blocker. Yes, an energy wave just pulsed through the Domain and knocked me off our bed. I’ll set others to survey if it caused damage, then go back to fucking Farhad senseless. Things are going well, and you’ve likely seen the change in your Faithful’s numbers on Letveri. Take care of yourself, and I hope no one else has bothered you since Isa; if they have, let me know. I’ve spoken firmly to a few that wanted to disrupt your time healing.”


    A giggle at Ebusuku’s initially disgruntled tone tried to slip loose, but Amdirlain maintained her composure and spent the meditation session enjoying the peaceful vibe coming from the Mantle.


    When she rose at the end of the session, Nomein looked up at her and tilted her head curiously. “Know that your eyes stopped glowing, but you also seem less tense now.”


    “Less tense,” murmured Amdirlain even as the absence of the Faith energy pressing against her lately registered.


    “Know you’ve seemed tight with tension lately, but there is an obvious difference now compared to before this session started, so it’s not the frustration of your cycling.”


    “There was something else weighing on me, and that seems to be resolved, for now at least, as well.”


    “How many things do you have weighing on you and the healing you are here for?”


    Amdirlain spent a moment and considered the faithful listed in her profile, along with the older Souls her Title had attracted still waiting in Judgement. “My concerns are legion, and the number of those depending on me seems to grow even when I’m not there to help.”


    “Know that might be the case, Novice Amdirlain, but you can only do what you can; none of us are gods,” stated ?daka. As the other Novices rose, she gave a nod and vanished away.


    Heading to the dining room Amdirlain let the other Novices lead the way, and, once seated reached out, to brush her awareness across the Mantle. The Domain’s wellspring seemed just out of reach but was concealed within the strange grasslands surrounding her picnic blanket’s oasis. The boundary was even clearer than it had ever been, and Amdirlain felt stepping across it might mean she’d never find this oasis again. A state that offered power and the risk of losing herself within its grasp.


    Lezekus sat down across from her looking pleased. “Know you’re smiling today. Are things going well?”


    “I finally got my Ki cycling and shifted some pressure that I hadn’t noticed building up,” replied Amdirlain. “None of you mentioned I seemed tense.”


    “Know that we didn’t wish to probe unwisely with the healing sessions you attend almost nightly,” explained Lezekus and looked at Amdirlain with concern. “Was that the wrong thing to have done?”


    “No, I see your point. I just meant… nevermind, I hope I wasn’t sour company is all.”


    “Know I’m not sure that’s in you. Know if anything you’re far too kind to others, most especially when you’re in pain yourself, it seems,” refuted Lezekus. “Aren’t you even now looking to shoulder responsibility for something you didn’t do rather than chide us for not mentioning your growing tension?”


    “What can I say? I choose to take responsibility for things best left to others,” replied Amdirlain blandly, and Lezekus gave her a challenging look.


    “Aren’t our choices our own responsibility?” argued Lezekus and pursed her lips at Amdirlain’s smile. “You really do like me arguing with you, don’t you?”


    Amdirlain gave a little bashful shrug. “I find it reassuring that you can think for yourself and take pride in making your own choices, Lezekus.”


    At the sound of others in the hallway, Amdirlain tilted her head toward the door and changed the subject. “Are you ready for your Psionics examination today?”


    “Know that I am, but I’m glad Master Duurth only expects us to have all our Tier 1 techniques ready. Why is he insisting you have Tier 2 and 3 ready as well?” asked Lezekus.


    “Not all of them, all Tier 2, and Tier 3 for Telepathy and Telekinesis. It''s simply I have more Psionic levels and needed to break my bad habits," Amdirlain replied. "Until you all get your skills strong enough to fight monsters you can’t actually gain levels. I think he’s also trying to get me to push past the mental scarring Elliyna said I’d developed from even before gaining Psionics. Normally, those seeking to learn Psionics should at least begin with a reasonably healthy mind. Mine had been battered before I learnt the basics, but Master Duurth was unaware of that.”


    “The consequence of an awful choice?”


    “Bad choices. I’m a prime example that pushing on isn’t always the best course to choose,” Amdirlain said, and wanted to take back her words as Gemiya entered the room. “I had too many wounds and ignored them, took responsibility for things that weren’t wholly my choice.”


    Gemiya slid into the chair next to Amdirlain instead of her usual spot and rested her head against Amdirlain. “Know I’m aware it’s her choice, but my choice was to keep pushing. Know that I’m worried I’ve lost my sister forever.”


    Her sorrowful expression prompted Amdirlain to give her a one-armed hug. “She’ll always be your sister, just don’t make an issue of it when she’s ready to talk again. She’s finding her own feet instead of letting you help and being frustrated at the result. Let her figure out how to navigate life on her own and be able to stand tall.”


    “But how do I get her to talk to me again?” protested Gemiya.


    “Keep yourself positive, maybe she’ll open up if she can feel that in your link instead of stress and worry. Elliyna said her lessons are going well, informal as they are since there isn’t any official training for healers here. That’s not a good thing: she’s getting individual attention from six healers who are all taskmasters,” offered Amdirlain, at a loss herself for what made Sarith tick. “That’s not to say I’m right, but you can sense her through your twin link, don’t you think she can do the same?”


    Gemiya nodded against Amdirlain and sat upright. “Know I’ll try, but I miss my sister.”


    “Maybe focus on that instead of shouldering the blame. She needed to talk to you earlier before things reached this point. Though you could always follow my sterling example and be stupidly stubborn about it until you both could end up bloodied from the experience.”


    “Know that I think I’ll pass on that option,” muttered Gemiya, and moved to her normal seat.