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MillionNovel > The Wandering Calamity > Chapter 237: Ares and the Amazing Technicolour Fish

Chapter 237: Ares and the Amazing Technicolour Fish

    Before handing out everyone else''s dishes, Ares paid sleepy head Blo Blo a visit as she was seemingly refusing to leave the comfortable bed. He didn''t blame her, it had been a long day thus far and resting up wasn''t a bad choice. Still, he''d made some food for her so he figured he would go and leave it by her side so she could eat at her own leisure when she finally got up properly. He opened the door and walked over to her bedside, placing everything squarely on the nightstand before taking a look at the lazy lug who''d gone back to sleep again. Good news! That meant he got to be the one to wake her up again with plenty more smooches! Ares delighted in pecking away at Bellona while she sleepily shooed him away like the annoying gnat he was. It seemed like she wanted to go back to sleep but Ares rolled her over and eventually she sniffed out the food and woke up like a greedy dog. She was barely able to squint at her food but a small smile did crop up when she realised what Ares had made her. Ares heard her give a mini squeal of joy and figured it would be ok to leave her alone now as she wouldn''t doze off again. He leant down and gave her one final kiss, told her he loved her, and left the room. After he left, Bellona happily rolled from side to side, clearly in a very good mood. Burgers? Milkshake? Kisses and affection? Bellona was having a fantastic time as she crawled up to the bedrest, shuffled a pillow into place for her to lean against, and gorged down on her scrumptious food like a gerbil with puffed cheeks.


    Meanwhile, back in the living room, Ares had just served the various meat dishes to everybody else, excluding Ye and Asha, and had placed a large bowl of honeycomb in the centre of the table. This was available to anyone and everyone but Ares had also promised Enyo her own secret stash so she wasn''t kicking up a fuss about having to share otherwise she definitely would have. The honeycomb was a good dessert so there was no reason not to make it for everyone else every now and then! Enyo didn''t have full rights to it!


    Next up were Ya Ye''s and Asha''s dishes and boy were they a handful to have created. See both of them were quite fond of rare ingredients. Ya Ye''s favourite food was rainbow fish and Asha''s was bearsnake meat. Obviously Ares didn''t have access to these animals as they were Vraizon exclusive, so he had to make do and try to recreate those flavours from the ground up. The rainbow fish wasn''t difficult... To replicate without the original ingredient, at least. Making the dish... That was another matter. It had a very strong taste with seven different segments, each of which tasted like a different type of fish. Ares could recreate this provided he had access to the fish types and, thankfully, they were relatively normal fish so it wasn''t a problem. Rainbow fish were effectively cannibals and ate their own kind but possessed seven different digestive systems for each type of fish it ate, one for each of its segments. Theses colours just so happened to resemble a rainbow and thus its namesake didn''t need to be explained. The fish Ares needed were all readily available in the sect''s shop so he already had a stock of the stuff ready and raring to go. The real problem was creating a dish that utilised these radically different flavours. The most common methodology to serving up rainbow fish was to boil it down into several smaller, bite sized dishes each with their own intricate taste lest you combined them all and created an absolute flavour cluster with no clear direction. Ye had always eaten the dish split into seven so Ares wisely decided to follow in the Starlight''s experienced footsteps!... NOT! Ares threw that cowardly approach out the window and was making a single dish out of seven different types of fish! He had to bust out his creative flair here and go all out but he did an alright job! Or so he convinced himself.


    As for Asha''s bearsnake meat... The meat itself was really easy to cook and could even just be plain roasted if you were feeling lazy. There was no finesse needed with the cooking of the dish... And that was a result of its incredibly unique flavour. In one word, it was ''MEATY''. Seriously a meat overload. It was also Calla''s favourite type of meat but it couldn''t be hunted down here so she made do with what Ares could get his hands on back when he was cooking her favourite food. Back home Asha would be frequently employed by Calla to go hunt some bearsnake for food so she had plenty of experience with the meat and also quite liked it herself. It was a delicacy on the Umbra home planet but, as the bearsnakes were both rare and strong, very few people ever got a chance to try it. The Umbra cook was a bearsnake specialist and knew how to cook it to perfection. Usually he would embrace the heavy, meaty flavour so Ares decided to follow in the expert''s footsteps!... No really, he actually did this time! The reason being that he technically had no way of replicating the dish so doing as such was actually a worthwhile challenge! Calla had asked these two what they wanted and their expectations were low so they only asked for ''fish'' and ''meat'' respectively. Calla knew them better, however, and trusted Ares so she threw in some added information that they''d intentionally left out. Ares wanted to recreate those dishes but also show-off so he did the ''incorrect'' approach for each of them. The fish was easy to replicate but hard to cook so he focused on the latter portion of the involved steps. The meat was hard to replicate but easy to cook so he focused on the prior portion of the involved steps. It was quite beneficial to him that he was being tested in two different ways as he could display his wide-ranging mastery and cleverness in the kitchen by doing as such.


    First up was Ye''s dish and he couldn''t help but blink in astonishment when he saw the dish as it was instantly apparent what Ares was going for here. The numerous colours inside the bowl stuck out like a sore thumb but they were all interwoven in a meticulous spiral that appealed to Ye''s sense of aesthetic big time. Right off the bat Ye was impressed for no reason other than that Ares had even attempted this to begin with. Most chefs panicked at the mere thought of cooking rainbow fish normally instead of taking the easy route and even the Starlight chef back home would be hesitant. Throw in the fact that Ares didn''t even have the damn fish and Ye was forced to respect the ballsy play he''d made here. Ye was a bigshot and would not be willing to give second chances. He was only even doing this because Calla assured him Ares was G.O.O.D. Better than a lot of the up and coming chefs back on their home planets. If it wasn''t for Calla''s very determined sales-pitch Ye would have just gone back to Vraizon whenever he was hungry and looked for a chef with a reputation that preceded him. Up until now he hadn''t been convinced that Calla''s ramblings about Ares'' talents were entirely true for two reasons. First, Ares was her son and so she may have potentially been blinded by that. Calla was very proud of her babies, sometimes unreasonably so. Secondly, and this was the big one, a cultivator of Ares'' talents should have not logically had time to practice cooking compared to someone who dedicated their whole life to it. Forget the fact that he was young for now, although that also made a huge difference, die hard and impressive cultivators rarely picked up hobbies. They mostly didn''t have time for it. Any second spent creating music, writing a book, etc... Would be better spent cultivating so Ares, a masterful cultivator, should logically have never even touched a cooking utensil before. Evidently that was not the case as the presentation of the dish was top notch even by a Starlight''s unforgiving standards. The food all looked to be cooked properly and there was due consideration given to the flavour intricacies, as could be seen in the way in which Ares decided to combine everything.


    The seven fish a rainbow fish frequently ate, and subsequently tasted like, were as follows: red salmon, orange roughy (deep sea perch), yellow cod, green blowfish, and violet sea squirt... Ok that was only six colours but, in the lower domains, there weren''t any indigo coloured fish. The rainbow fish simply ate a type of seaweed that happened to be indigo and it made up the flavour of that particular segment. In the higher domains outside the Primordial Blade there were many indigo coloured fish, one of which the rainbow fish happened to feast upon regularly, and there it was actually possible to have a rainbow fish construed entirely of other different types of sea creatures. Well technically seaweed was considered a living organism already but it definitely wasn''t a fish! Regardless, those were the required ingredients in order to replicate a rainbow fish and they were all present in the dish in some form or another.


    Ares'' bizarre concoction was an interesting mix that appeared to only have one type of fish actually visible as the others were all hidden in some capacity. There was an extremely thin, almost crystal clear broth lining the bottom of the bowl. It was only a centimetre or so high and looked relatively unassuming save for a slight green tint that could be spied at precisely the right angle and at no other point. That one tiny green shimmer clued in Ye that this see-through broth was made of blowfish. An interesting choice given that blowfish didn''t really taste much of anything but that was probably the important factor in why Ares used it in such a fashion. He didn''t want it mucking up the texture of anything else he''d plated up as it could somewhat chewy at times. It''s subtle taste meant it could be used like this without directly impacting anything else going on in the dish but it was still very much present and participating overall.


    Next up were the curled pieces of battered cod, all of which formed a spiral with a slight gap in the middle but that would be covered later. Ye gave the battered cod a closer inspection and, within the crispy yellow flesh, he saw a hint of blue... That was mackerel inside the cod flesh? Ares had battered the cod only to remove the actual fish itself and replace it with mackerel? The sweet, buttery taste of the crispy flesh was supposed to contrast with the salty mackerel, then? An interesting idea, and Ye was curious about how it came out, but he wanted to check the rest of the dish first.


    Purple sea squirt sauce sparsely layered over the cod, forming neat circles atop the spiral. It seemed like Ares had used the skin here, as it was lighter than the innards, and would have clashed with the taste of the cod / mackerel combination. There were a fair few light flavours on this dish which, if you were going to undertake such a herculean task, was definitely the right way to go about it. Too many strong flavours would vie for control and that would be a travesty waiting to happen. Even still, combining three types of fish? Would it work? Who knows!


    And then there were the two last types of fish, salmon and orange roughy. These two fish took up the centre spot and rounded up the dish''s appearance quite nicely. Ares had created some salmon ice cream and plopped a scoop of it perfectly in the centre, causing its vibrancy to stand out and really attract a lot of attention. It didn''t end there though as the deep sea perch had been cooked and blowtorched into a crispy, almost glass-like ribbon that decorated the salmon ice cream. The orange roughy was sweet and mild so Ye expected it to go well with the ice cream but whether it truly would or not, and whether this mad chef before him had created a masterpiece or a dud, remained to be seen and he needed to try it before he could give a meaningful verdict. Just off appearance alone, though, Ares had created something truly out there... Finally, there was the seaweed which was elegantly draped around the ice cream. There wasn''t much to say about this other than that the colour was pretty to look at. Typically, this variety of seaweed was cut into smaller pieces and served in an entirely different manner and was rarely ever seen to the same degree it was here. To see it''s bright colours shine in full for once was a nice change of pace.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Then there was Asha''s dish. There was nothing fancy about it in the slightest. It was just a slab of honeyed meat, dripping with the fatty juices it was cooked in. It honestly looked quite mouth watering and Asha was looking forward to it regardless of what Ares had been attempting to do with it. It was meat. Meat was tasty. Asha was very much a traditional revenant when it came to food in that the meatier it was, the more she enjoyed it. She could tell, thanks to her impressive sense of smell, that Ares had made this dish as meaty as humanly possible so it didn''t really matter to her whether or not it tasted like bearsnake. Unlike Ye, Asha had already given the dish a passing score and wanted nothing more than to just dig in and pig out. Still, she was in polite company... Kinda? Calla and Ares weren''t exactly ''polite'' and Ye was pre-occupied... Anyway, she gave the meat a one and twice over to figure out what was going on.


    It seemed like Ares had used regular bear meat but what really made it stand out were the many varied wines used. Asha''s nose was just about good enough to pick out a few different ones including, but not limited to, rioja, verdicchio, and carmenère. They were all quite earthy wines with deep tastes and it seemed like Ares was trying to alchemise his way to a meatier taste by mixing the wines together. Interestingly, he''d used honey to sweeten things up a bit which was probably a measure to prevent the meat from tasting like charcoal given all the strong tastes layered on top of it. Compared to the mock rainbow fish, there wasn''t much going on visually with the dish, and it didn''t look particularly complex, but that was to be expected. Again, the two dishes came with two very different problems. What remained true of both dishes, however, was that the only way to tell if Ares had done a good job or not was to chow down so Asha reluctantly picked up her cutlery like a well-mannered individual and went to work. She would have rather just picked it up with her hands but she felt compelled not to. Ares wouldn''t have actually cared if she did but he wasn''t going to encourage her to do it either. Whatever she felt was appropriate was up to her and the same was true of Ye who was free to approach the myriad colours in any order that suited him.


    Amidst the sound of Asha chomping on the meat, and Ye carefully cutting into the cod, the first person to break the verbal silence and give their opinion was... Calla! Yes the fluffy matriarch had indeed stolen some of Asha''s meat... Honestly, that should have been expected. Calla the meat fanatic would absolutely not hold back from swiping some specially prepared bear meat away from Asha. She wanted to hoover up every meat dish here and the bear meat looked particularly scrumptious so she temporarily abandoned her own meal and sunk her sharp teeth into the good stuff! Her reaction came first and fast as her tail did most of the speaking for her. It was spinning so fast Calla was actually hovering an inch off the ground and it looked almost like a propeller right now. In case anyone didn''t somehow get the memo, she managed to eke out praise in between bites of the food with her mouth still partially full. "NOM NOM, IT''SH SHO, NOM NOM, TASTY, NOM NOM." Not exactly the most refined critiquing of a dish ever given but it was definitely sufficient to help understand whether Ares had succeeded with the bear meat or not. He didn''t know if he replicated the bearsnake taste, as he''d never eaten it himself, so he would have to wait for Asha''s verdict before he had a completely honest appraisal. Calla could very well just be unconditionally praising her baby. Then again she was doling out more substantial praise, and seemed way happier with this meal, than she did with the kebabs. it was highly likely Ares had just aced the dish which was a a relief and then some. Although, really, he was actually more worried about the rainbow fish as that dish was seriously complex. It was like a Jenga block because if a single part of it went horribly wrong the whole thing would collapse on top of itself.


    As much as Ares wanted to hear Ye''s feedback, he was still savouring the dish piece by piece so Asha ended up giving her thoughts before Ye... Sort of? She''d ditched the fork and knife and was just going at the meat with her bare hands. One of the many changes she had on her body, due to being a mid-ish tier revenant, was way sharper teeth so she was shredding the meat at impressive speeds. Actually, most of her changes were patches of fur underneath her clothes, so they weren''t particularly visible, but that was more just a piece of trivia than anything meaningful. That aside, if her gusto with which she devoured the meat was any indication, then Ares had clearly outdone himself. He still wanted to know if it tasted even remotely similar to bearsnake, or if he''d just created something else entirely, but he could always wait until she finished the whole thing as it was looking like that wouldn''t take much longer. Ares had written down his recipe for this dish in case it turned out be received positively as he wanted to make it again and make some more changes here and there. Also, he could give the recipe to Calla and / or Asha so they could have the Umbra chef make it for them back home. Just a small gift from Ares is all. Plus, if Ares was lucky, the Umbra chef would fiddle around with the recipe and put their own spin on it. It was a pseudo challenge to the chef to make something out of it that would impress Ares. He was giving them plenty of time to figure something out as he would still take a while yet to reach the planet on his adventure.


    "This is quite spectacular..." Ya Ye had sampled everything and was giving his feedback. "I think there''s certainly room for improvement but, considering the nature of this dish, I''m incredibly pleased with the result. It is not as good as the dish I regularly eat but it is very close and has its own charm what with being a whole dish. It does what the original does not and I have to give you full marks for effort. The Starlight chef that cooks for me will be thrilled to hear of this so, as much as I''d like to eat the rest of this, I''ll be storing it in my spatial ring. Asha? If you would be so kind." Asha was busy with the meat but she pawed at the bowl Ye held towards her and used Chill Grip on it to freeze it in time. Objects that were frozen like this would typically dethaw soon after but, if they were stored in a spatial ring, they would last a bit longer. After Ye was done here he would head back to the Starlights for the night anyway, as he had business to attend to, so he could pass it on to the chef and discuss introducing them to Ares at a later date. "I am truly surprised you turned out to be every bit as good a chef as your mother declared. That''s an impressive talent and I do hope I get a chance to taste your food again some other time. Ah but of course I''ll still continue to eat here today. I simply mean to say that I think you''ll improve leaps and bounds yet if you continue as you are and I look forward to the day you pay the Starlights a visit.


    As for the dish, the broth goes extraordinarily well with the cod, mackerel, and sea squirt. It''s functional with the seaweed but where it falls apart is the salmon ice cream. I think that if you could find a way to harmonise those flavours as well as the others then you''d have hit the nail on the head with this. There are a few other small things but they can all be avoided depending on how you combine the different elements as an eater. Smarter critics would know to avoid mixing the orange roughy with the sea squid, for example, and so I don''t view that as a problem. Rather if the chef can go to such lengths to create a dish then I think the eater should also do the bare minimum. I can tell by the half-smile on your face you don''t quite agree but there''s no need to be so rough on yourself about it. I''m sure you''ll improve upon this idea in due time and, remember, that''s not to say you haven''t done a phenomenal job here. I would happily eat this if I didn''t view it as a valuable specimen for the chef back home. I dare say it might even be a better dish overall than the meat you made for Asha, it''s just far more complicated so parts of it are still in need of adjusting. To put it simply, the rainbow fish had a higher ceiling. The meat was a 10/10, if Asha''s voracity is to be understood correctly, but the rainbow fish was a 16/20 at minimum. It was a dish with way more potential and I think you went above and beyond so congratulations. Most people trying to do what you did here would earn, at best, a 4 or 5/20 so you have every right to be proud and not beat yourself up over it." Ya Ye clapped his hands and turned to the normal meat dishes. He wanted to try the bear meat too but Asha was being weirdly protective of it and even shooing Calla, of all people, away so that didn''t appear to be possible for Ye. "This also looks rather delectable so I think I''ll enjoy this before I take my leave. I''m terribly sorry but do you have any more wine to go around? I''m quite partial, you see. Anything will do!"


    Ares did in fact have more wine... A lot more... He''d bought a crap ton when he learnt about how easily the Legion women could chug the stuff so, in preparation for Sadie and Rhea who could drop in at any time, he stocked up a considerable amount. Speaking of Sadie, she''d just arrived and was incredibly jealous of the special dishes the other two were eating. Still, she happily sat down and put some meat on her own plate and went to down. Her eyes did perk up a bit when Ares brought out the alcohol so he didn''t even bother asking and just poured her a bunch of the stuff as she gave him a thumbs up. This woman was seriously way too predictable...


    And that about summed up the dinner. Ares had done good. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that it was over and done with. Ye seemed like a much more intellectual critic compared to anyone he''d ever fed before so Ares was gladdened by the lenient feedback. It was invaluable and primarily positive so he could wipe the sweat off his brow without feeling forlorn about potentially wasted efforts. Granted, really, he didn''t care about Ye''s opinion. That may have sounded harsh but, as long as his family enjoyed his food, then that was what he was really after. Based on the way Enyo ate the honeycomb, and based on the fact that Bellona had poked her head around the corner looking for some more milkshake, that goal had been passed with flying colours. Ares gave the greedy headbutter a choice of a few different flavours and, after she picked the vanilla one, watched his bubbly wife bounce away down the corridor with a spring in her step. There were plenty of gluttons in this house but, as far as Ares was concerned, that was a good thing! It led to situations like this wherein Appa was cutely tugging at his leg with its rope, winking at him to try and get some more toffee apple Snappas while its mother wasn''t looking! Worth every second labouring away in the Primordial Blade, 100%


    Ares turned back around and Asha was standing before him, licking her lips. "Good stuff. I want more but I''m guessing there''s no seconds? Shame. Make me some more some time, maybe?"


    Ares chuckled to himself and agreed. "Sure. I''ll buy plenty more bear meet and you can visit whenever. By the way, did it taste like bearsnake or was I off the mark? All I know about it is that it''s meaty to the bone."


    "Mhm, you did good. Bearsnake does taste a bit different though as the snake part gives it a very different flavour. You tried to combine those tastes into one but I think they''re more split apart, like two different ingredients compared to one whole piece of meat. Yours tasted just as good as the bearsnake though, maybe even a little better. I never knew normal meat could taste that strong, good stuff. The honey as well was really good. I''m guessing it was bumbleshark honey?"


    "Yep, good catch. As for the bearsnake... I guess I''ll just have to wait until I visit the Umbra homeland to get my grubby paws on some. When I do I''ll be sure to cook some for you though."


    "I look forward to it then. Thank you for today but I should take my leave."


    "Oh, sorry, are you busy? I didn''t mean to keep you."


    "No, not busy, just anti-social. Goodbye."


    Ares barely had time to blink before Asha disappeared and he could barely close his gob. She just went? Just like that?... Fair enough... Is this where Skyzo got his attitude from? Those two were very much alike in that they were firm when it came to ending conversations they didn''t want to be a part of anymore... Well whatever, she liked the food and that was an acceptable outcome! Today had been good!... Minus the assassination attempt but Ares wasn''t even including that in his daily review. It took a very strange person to care more about other people''s opinion about his food than the people trying to reap his life... Revenants really did just have completely different priorities in life...
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