Bonk
"It''s Davey Do, the daring dude!"
Bonk
"And Davey two, the mecha ''roo!"
Bonk
Will you stupid morons cut it out?! Charon was incredibly miffed right now as the dumb and dumber duo were playing kickball with his detached skull while they gave their insufferable intros.
Bonk
To be fair, considering the odd shape of their ''ball'', the duo were doing a damn great job of not dropping his head into the vast boundaries of space below them. Kanga in particular had a pretty mean kick thanks to both his animalistic nature and exoskeleton but, occasionally, Davey would just use his bat instead of his foot and that hurt way more! Plus the intros were just adding insult to injury! ''Davey two'' my ass! It was such a stupid little bit they performed but there was also a somewhat well known reason behind it. Back when Davey first started his cultivation journey, in search of medicine for his bedridden mother, he happened across a partially sentient kangaroo that he got into a big tussle with over some rare herb. Davey barely won out in the end, as the roo''s cultivation base had been respectable at the time and so put up one incredible fight, and decided to keep the fella as a pet. He made a contract with the roo and nicknamed him Davey Jr. He wanted the kangaroo to be a replacement son for his mother if he ever died in search of medicine for her but, eventually, the roo became more and more sentient so the family dynamic changed slightly. Davey''s mother gave him a ''proper'' name, Kanga, and treated the roo like a second son instead of a potential replacement. She didn''t want either of them to die because they three were all a happy little family. A relatively simple story but effective enough at tugging on people''s heart strings to the point they didn''t feel the need to mock Davey Do and Davey Two''s intro. ''Davey Two'' was a long lost relic of sorts from back when Kanga was just Davey Jr so it was silly, sure, but there was some meaning to it even if it was a little outdated nowadays. Regardless, they had fun doing it so they never really stopped. At most, they experimented with swapping ''Davey two'' for ''Kanga too'' but it didn''t have the same feel to it so they went back to the classic. Not everyone appreciated the classics, however...
"Gggg,aahhh,grrrr,ssssss,tttttt,oppppppppppp" It had been far too long since Charon needed to use his voice so it was dry and raspy to a degree that was extremely unpalatable to the ears. Nails on a chalk board might be more preferable than listening to his hoarse croaking but still he felt the need to get his voice out there and end this game of kickball.
Kanga tilted his head upon hearing Charon''s zombie voice. "Yo, bony bro, I think you need a lozenge or something. Dunno how you''d make that work what with being a skeleton and all but I reckon it''d do you some good. I got some on me." Bonk. "You want lemon or honey flavour?" Bonk.
Davey slicked his spiky orange hair back as he caught hold of Charon''s head and screwed it back on now that the sack of bones had presumably gotten the message about what would happen to him, if he tried to run away or disobey, loud and clear. "Sorry about Kanga, fella''s in a bit of a bad mood because he got rejected by Ayane Ensemble recently. And when he''s in a bad mood, I''m in a bad mood too."
Like hell that dumb kangaroo stood a chance with Ayane! Better yet, why are you annoyed?! You''re just using this as an excuse to beat up an old man! Punks! Punks! Charon groaned into the void once more but it''s not like anyone else understood him or cared to even try. Davey and Kanga were seemingly still talking about Kanga''s recent failure as he had some gripes about it related to Davey.
"You know, I felt like I was doin'' alright too for a bit there. She wasn''t trying to shoo me away so that was something, right? Being ignored is just part of the chase nowadays so I''m sure she was digging my vibe too you know? Just couldn''t bring her self to admit to it ''cos she was shy ''n'' all. But this shmuck here..." Kanga loosely pointed in Davey''s direction. "... He just ain''t wingman material I tell ya. You should have seen ''em! So there I am, flirtin'' all professionally and what not, really throwin'' the moves on this chick, then this guy rolls up and is all like ''so yeah, I''mma destroy your entire home planet and shit''. Like, dog, what the fuck?! Dick move, bro, dick move! Totally killed the mood."
"Kanga, bro..." Why Davey was trying to console Kanga over his ''loss'', loss in air quotes because there was never a win to be had here to being with, was anyone''s guess when it should have been painfully apparent Kanga stood no chance. "... There are plenty of fish in the sea. I''m telling you ladies from that planet ain''t quite right. You can do better my guy. I''ll even do you a solid and take you to this great place tonight and I''m sure you''ll find some right great Sheilas there, ya know what I''m sayin?"
Kanga was hesitant to believe Davey as his ''places'' were usually bullshit! "... Where you thinkin''?"
"The zoo?"
"Davey, you fucker, I''mma seriously come over there and kick that shitty head of yours in I swear!" Kanga did indeed start aggressively hopping on over to Davey but Charon coughed his poor little non-existent lungs out and the two decided to leave their back and forth bickering for another time.
"Y...Yo....Youuuuuu. The... The hell do... You want? Bastards?" Charon''s voice was slowly returning, syllable by syllable, and it seemed like he''d be able to have a proper conversation soon enough. He managed to eke out the most relevant question right now at least so that was something. If he''d faltered here he''d be hearing about this kangaroo''s love life for God only knows how long and that was definitely not something Charon was interested in.
Davey took off his sunglasses, folded them, and put them in his pocket as he drifted on over to Charon and draped a hand around his shoulder. "Pal o'' buddy o'' pal, I want you to do me a teensy favour and teach a certain someone in the way of scythe wielding. Pretty simple request, eh?"
"T... The ''Ares'' kid? Y... You want to work with... The fundamental champions and their... Organisation... To attack... Ayane''s... Planet? Have they already agreed to your... Request?"
"Oh? Rumours have spread fast but yeah. I''ve talked with the org and the fundamental champs workin'' under em'' that are outside the barrier. We all have our own reasons to want Ayane''s home planet gone and so we agreed to raze it to the ground later on when the champs are all grown up. I''ll do the heavy lifting when it comes to Ayane and the elders but I''ll need some real destructive individuals to clear out the rest of the planet. Sure I want all the champions to smooth things over, and make sure things go off without a hitch, but the destruction pillar''s my real goal. So yeah, I scratch his back, and send you his way, and, later on, he scratches mine and lends me a hand. Win win! Well not for Ayane''s home planet but, honestly, that place is better off gone from existence anyway. That planet has got some dark secrets I tell ya. Not why I''m interested in ''em though, no, they''ve got a little something that I want. ''S no secret my ol'' mama isn''t doin'' too hot and so I''ve been looking for remedies, yeah? They got what I need but won''t hand the stupid thing over no matter how much I offer. Selfish cunts! If they weren''t so evil I might have to bite my tongue and go about this in a different way but now I have a pretty great excuse to launch a large scale attack on ''em cos of their frequent misbehaving. I don''t tell many people that last part but I''m tellin'' you ''cos what I''m going to offer you for your time is pretty relevant to your own plight, ya catch my drift Mr Moody?"
Charon''s eye sockets were empty but a small twitch of his skull gave to understand that he was narrowing his gaze at Davey who''s offer was precisely what he was looking for. Charon was obsessed with not dying which, in turn, was why he was so aggressive to anyone with a Reaper''s mark as losing his position meant losing his life. If Davey had spent his entire cultivation career searching for immortality elixirs and the like for his ill mother then the guy must have come across innumerable life saving and / or rebuilding treasures, one of which might even prove beneficial for Mr Moody. Long story short, if Charon trained Ares to be the next Reaper then he would get to keep his life after passing on the position, thanks to whatever Davey had up his sleeve for him, without needing to keep doing this shitty job for hell anymore or see that damn secretary ever again. He didn''t actually enjoy assassinating people and taking their souls down to hell, he was far too old for this crap, and so getting to retire after training some random kid was maybe a preferable alternative to working for hell for all eternity.
Provided Davey actually had the treasure / resource he was claiming he did, something that could guarantee Charon his life, then this was actually an offer worth taking in Mr Moody''s eyes... Not that he had any... This damn brat Davey was way too good at roping people into a cause for his own gain. Then again, he was the number one cultivator in many people''s eyes so it was only natural he''d been on crazier adventures than most could even dream of and found plenty of incredibly rare stuff with which to haggle and negotiate. Chances are, Davey tried doing business with Dingo, the rare-obsessed madman, for something to cure his mother with but all he got in return were co-ordinates to Ayane''s home planet. That was how a great many wars started in the upper domains... That creep Dingo revelled in war, chaos, and disaster because, more often than not, the loser would have their precious treasures scattered to tthe wind and this man was almost always on the scene shortly after, scrounging up whatever he could find of the civilisation, sect, or clan he''d indirectly contributed to the destruction of. He didn''t actively manipulate people to start pointless wars, no, but he did give hints that could be construed in a way that indicated violence was the only method of getting what someone wanted from someone else who had what they needed. He was a profiteer but played innocent while reaping the rewards behind the scenes. He wasn''t slick, though, as everyone knew what kind of game he was playing but who could really stop him? His information was always correct and the host of rare treasures at his disposal were phenomenal. Angering him, and subsequently offending everyone who did business with him and roping them into the mess too, wasn''t worth it. You''d lose out on so much potential information, or access to rare treasures, that it was better to just hold your tongue and accept the kind of nature this despicable moron Dingo possessed.
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Besides, pretty much everyone in the higher realms had some kind of abhorrent personality in one way or another. You didn''t make it this far in the cultivation world without picking up a few bad habits. Someone like Charon, Dingo, or Davey would all still be considered ''good people'' despite their underhanded methods and occasional murder of ''innocent'' people for a good overall cause. Everything was subjective and relative up here but it was also true that everyone had at least a tiny spark of evil in them at this point and there were no exceptions. If mortals struggled not to commit an injustice in 100 years of life then how on earth was an expert cultivator supposed to go multiple hundreds of millions of years without ever feeling the temptation? They weren''t robots and, heck, even the robots broke laws regularly too! Even some of the various ''holier'' organisations out there, like Buddhists and peace preachers, had a good few number of skeletons buried in their closet, and not the Charon kind! "Are... You sure? I''ve... Tried... Many treasures and none have... Worked..."
Tsk
Davey almost looked offended when Charon expressed his doubt. "C''mon now! You really think your old ass has found rarer treasures than Kanga and I on our whacky adventures? You gotta put some more trust in me and my uppity hoppity friend over there. Kanga can''t find a date but he can sure as hell find some rare goods when he''s out and about!"
"... Why... Are you so confident about this ''Ares''?... Why Go... All in on this kid?"
Davey shrugged and sat down in space while Kanga spoke on his behalf, giving an answer that really wasn''t helpful right now but that seemed to be a specialty of this silly animal. "''Cos he''s got a gut feeling in his gut!"
Where the hell else would it be you stupid kangaroo?! Charon groaned in skeletal language, inwardly depressed he was forced to adhere to these fool''s orders lest they start kicking him around again. Making him listen to these two prattle on and on was cruel and unusual punishment! Elder abuse!
Davey brought out some papers and chucked them into the void, unbothered by the fact that they were going to float away and never be seen again as they were merely copies of the originals he''d worked on for some time now. Charon could read all the papers with his divine sense so it was actually easier having them spread out like this and some of the things he saw were on these papers were pretty crazy. Davey spoke to reiterate what was said on them and expand upon the point he was making by showing Charon this. "These fundamental champs? I''ve done my research and I know they''re some pretty crazy individuals. Really out o'' whack and I know you see it too in these reports. All the maniacal crap they''ve been pullin'' here and there had got me feeling confident down to my pores that they''d make good allies... And yet, all it took was a quick convo with my good pal Coronos and I''m already feeling like this Ares kid is different. His list of accomplishments and possessions somehow outstrip even these other champions so I get the feeling that either A, this kid''s pillar is special even amongst the fundamentals and / or B; he''s a hella hard worker with way more innate talent and potential than the others. He''s givin'' me ''cut above the rest'' vibes and I''m down.
Destruction seems like the exact thing I''m after for the raid on Ayane''s home planet so I value his safety and his blossoming talent. I want you to help me make him perfect. I''d wager he doesn''t need much help, based on how far he''s already gone in his limited cultivation career, but if I can stick my nose in and speed some things up a bit? Yeah, you know I will. I ain''t above poking my nose into places it shouldn''t be if I think it''ll be helpful to me. The sooner my momma is back up and on her feet the better so that''s where you come in, Mr Moody. I scratch Ares'' back via you, he scratches mine down the line. I care about setting up some familiarity and precedence with this kid because I think he''s going to be the next big thing. I''m not buying into the hype or anything, I actually think he''s still being underestimated even now so, if anything, the hype is following my trend. At least that''s what I''ve gathered about Ares by piecing everything I''ve found together. I ain''t attached to the title of number one, the kid can have it, I just wanna make sure I ain''t on his shit list when he''s got nothing else to do in life other than go back to settle old scores. When he reaches the top and doesn''t have to climb anymore, if I''m gonna be underneath him, I don''t wanna have earned his ire at any point ''cos then he could just take a massive dump on my head and I can''t stop ''em. Would much rather make a new friend than a new enemy out of someone like that and you should feel the same way. He''s a revenant and I know you despise those just like everyone else does. If he happens to pick up a scythe I don''t think you can stop him so this really is your best bet. if you can''t beat ''em, join ''em. Accept the deal I''m making here, go and find the kid, and give him some pointers to set him on the right path if he ain''t already on it. If he is, push him further in the right direction and it''ll do us all some good. Ah, but do tell him who sent you his way, yeah? I ain''t doing this for free, I ain''t no charity worker and I expect his repayment at a later date."
Charon could speak properly if so wished but he just grumbled in skelly language at nobody in particular once more as he went over his ''options''. He''d been cornered into doing something he wasn''t exactly thrilled about but it was a short term loss for some long term gain. He knew this was the best option so it was looking like he was going to have to go take a trip down to the Sheryashka barrier and sneak in... Though that would take him some time. Getting there was one thing, and he could maybe even hitch a ride off the back the expert cultivator who was hounding him right this very instant as Davey possessed some decent long range travel treasures, but getting past that barrier was going to be a hassle and Charon could feel it in his bones. Still, a detour that only took him a couple of years was worth it if the end result was exactly as promised. Charon was no fool though so he demanded Davey show him the resource he claimed could restore his life back to what it was.
Charon was already at a cultivation base that meant he could essentially live forever, and he wasn''t far off true immortality either, so just getting his life back without having to be tied to hell''s puppetry art would be enough to get him over the finish line on his own after consuming a treasure and getting his flesh and blood back. Davey agreed but had to go fetch the medicine, as he''d left it in a safehouse nearby, so Charon was stuck waiting around with Kanga who would not stop regaling him with his womanly woes. Most kangaroos were active primarily at night but clearly not this one. Apparently Kanga was struggling hard to get a date and Charon had to resist explaining to him that he was a kangaroo so that wasn''t unsurprising lest he wanted his head to get kicked around like a football again. Why was this dumb animal attracted to humans anyway?! Go fuck another kangaroo you damn pervert! He wasn''t even a half-human kangaroo or anything, he was just a sentient animal with a libido directed at the wrong race entirely! Logically he should never get lucky in a sane society but Kanga had a few things going for him, namely that he was famous and pretty rich so that alone might do him some favours... That and the fact that this dimension was absolutely massive and there was, in turn, always going to be at least one woman somewhere who wasn''t against the idea of such a strange relationship. For now, though, Kanga was just going to have to keep searching for his soulmate... Although really his best bet was seriously still just a zoo.
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Back down in Sheryashka, Ares had just finished watching the white mecha petals drop to the floor and turn into beautiful white, powdery flakes that shimmered briefly before disappearing for good. The mecha was out of commission but Ares wasn''t in the best state himself either. Whatever art he destroyed Genesis with was over now, and couldn''t be used again, and the Primordial Blade had become unwieldy. It was too heavy to swing properly and was evidently far weaker than than normal so Ares had to put it away. On top of all these external issues, Ares was physically battered too. The damage he mistook for a Genesis punch earlier was actually just the recoil of using the Timeline Splice art, and subsequent attack that came of it, and his body was feeling the burn right now. His eyes were bloodied, some nerves had ruptured, his muscles ached and refused to budge, and he felt considerably weaker than he was before this whole fiasco. This decision had probably been worth it in the end, as the mecha was just flat out gone right now and Ares was happy to see it even if Mako was distraught as can be, but it had unfortunately left Ares in a temporarily atrocious spot as he was still sitting on the floor and unable to move.
Ares could feel himself recovering by the second, and he could still cast arts from this seated position so it wasn''t the end of the world, but everything felt like such a massive struggle and he really had to hope Mako didn''t have something massive up his sleeve right now otherwise he was going to have to expend his God summon pointlessly... As if on cue, ironically, Mako started chanting what would be his own God summon! Ares was fine with this though as countering one God with another had been the plan from the get go and it was arguably fantastic timing for him. Mako assumed the two Gods would fight evenly, forcing the respective summoners to dodge the residual carnage and maintain an awareness that Ares wasn''t capable of in his current state. This was a mistaken belief, however, as one of the Gods was going to superior to the other and lead to one-sided obliteration, that was for sure... Ares could recover while Astraeus bitch smacked his junior around a bit. After that? Well Ares believed he was in the clear but his greatest challenge yet awaited him, a challenge greater than anything that had ever been thrown at him before. Still, that was that and this was this. Both Ares and Mako had shed a single tear for the destroyed Genesis but now Mako wanted revenge for his fallen pride and joy so, upon seeing Ares'' weakened form on the floor, he went all out to bring forth Terros'' true form. It may be hindered by mako''s cultivation but Terros'' Godly nature was more than enough to make up for it so he chanted resolutely while the floating rocky ball next to him started sinking down into the earth at everyone''s feet. This was Terros'' natural habitat, after all, and where he felt the most comfortable so it was from underground that he would make his grand debut in this lower domain. For the first time in countless years, Sheryashka was going to be graced by the Gods and it was going to be one hell of a spectacle!
Mako took a deep breath and his mouth fired off the lengthy chant shortly after. "I Call On Thee, O'' Guardian Of Land And Core Of Galaxies. Come Forth, Lord Of Foothold And Foundation, Terros!"