<u>Chapter 38 - I''m Sorry</u>


    Why won''t this feeling leave?


    Eildred held his hand out to a child in rags covered in dust from collapsed buildings on the sides. It was hard to tell if it was a boy or a girl with their mop like hair and thin figure. The child had no shoes and was bleeding from a large splinter stuck in their calf. Eildred knelt and gently pulled the splinter out. The child squeezed their eyes shut, tears making it through. Eildred bound the leg with scraps of cloth nearby and picked the child up in his arms.


    He rose and turned, wondering where to place such a fragile person. The squeezing in his heart continued. It had spread now, causing his stomach to clench and his air pipe to thin. A feeling that refused to leave. A feeling that begged for his attention, that screamed urgency. But how was he to abandon the suffering people?


    The rest of the knights were still clearing a path ahead, fending off attacks from rebels and criminals alike. Every rebel had faces of able bodied men in their early to middle ages. It was likely that none were truly established citizens and had been gathering in the city for years, waiting for the opportune moment.


    Eildred carried the child over to a still standing house. He banged on the door and a moment later, it creaked open just an inch, the eye of a woman staring from the other side.


    "M-my lord," the woman stammered, opening the door a few inches more.


    Eildred placed the child on the doorstep. The rag around the calf wound was soaked and leaking. There was little more he could do at that moment. "Take care of this one for the time being. We will return for them soon, once the city has been settled.


    The woman opened the door entirely now. She wore a plain grey gown with a white apron over the front, hands white with flour dust. Several children stood in a dimly lit room behind her, muttering, eyes wide in either fear or awe. "This… urchin, my lord?" the woman asked, looking down, shuffling a half step back as if the fragile child carried a contagious disease.


    Eildred felt his blood boil. He wrapped his fingers around the hilt at his waist. "Problem?" he demanded, shouting louder than he intended. The child was the one to shuffle back now, and away from him. The woman trembled and shook her head, pulling the child inside and hastily shutting the door. Eildred sighed as he stepped down and joined the rest of the knights. Prejudice existed everywhere. What was he doing getting angry at anxious people?


    Someone grabbed at his ankle. He looked down to see a cloaked figure gurgling from the mouth. Red spilled down their chin. They had a knife in their hand and was slowly bringing it up, sending death threats with their eyes. Their torn sleeve revealed the tattoo of a raven on their arm. The mark of one of many street guilds from the Impoverished District. Eildred drew his sword, its length already stained from prior clashes, and plunged it through the back of the struggling man. More blood gurgled out of his mouth. The grip around Eildred''s ankle loosened. He pulled away, uncaring to see the man die. "You chose this life," he muttered.


    He marched to the head of his company and turned down to a different street, waving away the dust still hanging in the air and crinkling his nose at the burning smell. Up ahead was a makeshift barrier made with rubble and uniformed men standing watch on the lane beyond. The Nobility District. The Lotus Knights continued on. The vanguard had black plates dripping red from all the clashes within the city.


    Eildred began climbing over the rubble, pushing hard with his legs to carry the weight of his armor. The bannermen of lower nobility shuffled back with their weapons drawn. Eildred frowned at them as he came down to the other side. The road ahead was clear aside from the men before him. A straight line to the palace plateau.


    "Hold," said a man pointing a sword. Bright cropped hair and spotless navy blue coat. All his peers wore similar uniforms, all spotless. They hadn''t seen much action if any at all.


    "Hold?" Eildred sneered. "Flaming hold? And who are you to command I, Eildred Aegis?"


    The sword arm of the speaker trembled, making the weapon in his hand seem nothing more than a flimsy stick of thin metal. "Er, that''s, we have to confirm identities first. We can''t just let anyone…" he drifted off, swallowing hard as Eildred''s face twisted into an incarnation of hate.


    "Confirm our identities? Even when you see us like this, in our armor?"


    "That''s—"


    Eildred''s patience had run out. These fools should have given way long before he''d even begun climbing their two meter high rubble barrier. He should have been sprinting towards the palace rather than succumbing to his instinct''s suffocation. His breaths became laboured. Even if he inhaled, he didn''t feel as if he was getting any air inside. His heart hammered, each beat more painful than the last. This was beyond personal longing. Dahlia needed her Guard captain. And he wasn''t there.


    Eildred clenched his fist, meaning to break the pompous warrior''s nose, but his hands were curled around his sword hilt. Common sense disappeared in that single instant of anger. Instead of swinging his fist, he swung his sword, tearing open that dark blue uniform to let out a spring of blood. Eildred blinked, staring at the fallen man, bleeding out before him, a long gash stretching from his shoulder to his waist. The other men in uniform all stumbled back, swords raised. Eildred''s mouth went dry. An ache settled at the front of his mind. Flames. Oh Flames, but what have I done?


    "Help," the fallen man croaked.


    Alive. Still alive. He can be saved. Besides, he was the one to point a sword at me. At me! Eildred tried justifying his actions. But he knew what he''d done was wrong. Almost too wrong to be righted. He''d lost his temper and this man was dying because of it. But still, he hadn''t time to lose. He needed to get to the plateau. "What are you all staring for?" he screamed as more knights in black jumped over the rubble wall. "Take this imbecile to a hospital! You still have those don’t you, you''re still using them to treat your fat bastard masters who keep your pockets lined, aren''t you? Well hurry up and take him there," he demanded, pointing at the fallen man with his bloody sword. The sword of a knight, meant only to be used to protect and vanquish threats to the innocent. It had almost become a murder''s weapon. Might still become one if this man wasn''t saved.


    It pained Eildred to not take responsibility for his own actions. But he couldn''t stay here any longer. He sheathed his blade and pushed his way past the spotless soldiers. And then he ran hard, tugging at his armor straps and letting pieces fall one by one, feeling lighter with each piece of armor dropped. His breastplate was the last to crash to the cobbles. Only his lower half remained. Wind pierced through his mail top and shirt beneath, cooling his sweat matted skin. He ran harder now, much faster than any of the five hundred knights following after him.


    Your majesty, please be safe. I''m almost there.


    ***


    "The streets," Dahlia gasped. The sound of her heart beat at her eardrums. Her feet ached from running in her tight shoes. "We can run to the streets."


    "The riots?" Arus questioned without turning around, two bolts flying towards him and veering off. The attackers stared dumbfounded as they were cut down. Arus had already grown accustomed to using Wind''s Eye despite only having had it for a half hour at best. "You mean to hide amidst the chaos, your majesty?"


    The palace gates were wide open, bodies lying here and there, mostly of Queen''s Guard in their royal blue uniforms. A few servants and maids lay sprawled out with severed limbs. A nauseating sight, but Dahlia didn''t have much more to throw up. She could only gag but she''d somehow gotten good at stifling those within the last few minutes. "No," she said. "My Guard. They''ve returned. I saw it from my room. They''re making their way towards us now."


    "Dahlia, can we trust them?" Adrian asked. She glanced his way. He was matching her strides with ease. No hints of being out of breath and barely a sheen of sweat on his forehead.


    "Why not? They''ve no news from the capital. They''ll protect me for certain." Azurus especially as the head of that company would not abandon her. The boy was loyal. And if he wasn''t, he still wouldn''t abandon his future mother-in-law.


    "Then the streets it is. I pray to the Flames that they meet us there."


    "I too pray to Trillia," Adrian chimed in.


    Dahlia frowned. Even in this situation, he preached like a priest indoctrinating a group of illiterates. She paused. Arus had stopped running, standing at the wide steps leading up to the palace. Dahlia left the shadow of the indoors and stood close behind him, biting winter air greeting her from either side. At least a dozen armored guards stood out in the courtyard, all of them with swords drawn, blood running down their lengths as if the hands holding them were torn open. By the way they were standing, arched in a wide formation, staring at Arus and her, they didn''t seem to be allies. Beyond the courtyard, there were at least a hundred more guards standing at the mouth of the plateau, staring along the road leading down into the Nobility District. Not allies either. They were standing watch for the approaching Queen''s Guard making their way through the city.


    Dahlia heard Arus'' knuckles crack. They grew white as he squeezed Wind''s Eye''s hilt. "Stay close to me, your majesty," he whispered. "No telling who might be hiding behind a tree with a bow in hand.You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    Stay close he said, and yet there was no way for them to continue. She knew well that Arus couldn''t protect her if all twelve came running at him. He stood still at the top of the stairwell, the high ground his only advantage.


    "Should we maybe turn back and lock ourselves in a room?" Adrian tried.


    Dahlia glanced his way again. That wide chest and chiseled jawline no longer appealed to her as it once had. Not a sheen of sweat, she thought again. The suggestion was a reasonable one. But coming from him, it seemed lined with mal intent. And yet, Dahlia couldn''t bring herself to order Arus to kill the First Chancellor. What if he''s innocent? The question repeated itself in her mind. She still planned to throw him to the gallows to set peace back to the realm, but not yet. Just for this moment, she wanted to maintain her innocence. Wanted to stray from dirtying her hands. She feared she would collapse if she ordered such a deed and added another layer of nausea to the already mounding lump stuck at the base of her throat.


    "There are other officials still locked in their rooms," Adrian said.


    Arus glanced back. "You can turn back if you want, Chancellor. But there''s undoubtedly more traitors looking for us inside."


    "But there''s still a hundred Queen''s Guard right there. We can''t get through—"


    "We can!" Arus said. "They''re here."


    Screams came from the end of the courtyard. Iron clashed against iron. The allied Guard had arrived. "Where is her majesty?" a voice bellowed. A familiar voice. A thunderous voice. Dahlia felt more tears in her eyes. A soothing voice. He was there. Eildred was there.


    "Well?" Arus demanded, staring down the twelve enemies at the stairwell''s base. "Come at me you Flaming traitors. You lot won''t have burials. I''ll burn your bodies and personally carry your ashes to the Torched Plains!"


    The traitorous knights slowly stepped forward, climbing up the steps with caution and spread along its full length. The stairs might be wide, but they narrowed as they rose. Only three people could stand abreast on the final steps that Arus stood behind.


    "There she is!" distant voices echoed.


    Dahlia turned to see more traitors inside the palace charging towards them. Surrounded. But those enemies were far down the hall and at least twenty seconds away. Dahlia swallowed. Since when had she thought of twenty seconds as a lot of time? Since I saw lives ended in mere fractions of a second. Third in rank of the Queen''s Guard, Arus. But the twelve foes before him were still trained knights of the same Order.


    Dahlia searched across the courtyard. No help there. Eildred and his allies were too far away.


    The first of the enemies neared the top of the steps. Arus swung down. The blow was parried, precious two seconds wasted. Two enemies tried rounding from each side. Arus kicked the first traitor, sending him tumbling down the stairs. He flashed towards the enemy on the right, thrusting fast enough for even Dahlia to feel the wind from the thrust. It went through a throat before the traitor could react. The enemy to Arus'' left aimed for his back but Arus managed to whip around in time, stepping down to avoid the killing stroke and severing the assailer''s hands. His weapon clattered to the ground and the man screamed.


    Dahlia, to her surprise, screamed herself and pushed the handless knight down the stairs, sending him tumbling into two others. A pocket of space had been cleared. Enemies to her rear screamed. Arus turned sideways to face the threat from both sides.


    "Your majesty!" Eildred cried from across the courtyard. He''d broken through the ranks of traitors.


    Dahlia met his eyes. Freedom. Safety. Love. All of that stared back at her and much more. She needed him. Needed his great shadow wrapped around her, hiding her. Needed his great back to shield her. Needed his great arms protecting her and his voice to wash away her fears. Her eyes fell back to the pocket of space at the side of the stairs.


    With a quick inhale, she leapt down, skipping half a dozen steps at once, cloak fluttering behind, landing in a stumble, Arus'' calling voice at her back, traitorous knights to her side. She took another leap, soaring over groaning enemies on the steps, and reached the stair''s base, knees pushing into the skirt of her dress and stealing her balance, making her stumble again. But she was past the traitors now. Nothing but an open courtyard lay between her and Eildred. She lifted her skirt above her shins and sprinted towards him.


    ***


    A few moments earlier


    "What''s happening?" Eildred cried as he sprinted towards the plateau. But the armored Queen''s Guard at its top didn''t budge. They had their weapons drawn and took a ready stance as the knights behind Eildred quickly closed the gap between them. He no longer needed his questions answered. He, the Captain of the Guard, was having blades from the Guard pointed his way. Unless he''d somehow been exiled by the crown in the time that he''d been away, he saw naught but traitors barring his path to the palace.


    "You curs! Where is her majesty?" he bellowed, pausing a few steps away from the enemy line. Allied knights were still a few strides behind. But Eildred didn''t care. He sunk low then lunged with all the might in his legs. The Thundersword could not be stopped. His thrust went through two exposed necks, the second standing right behind the first enemy. Eildred then swung to the side instead of pulling out, ripping open the already pierced throats and severing the heads of three others to his right before they had a chance to attack him. All of them had their helms on. Shame that he couldn''t tell who among the knights had turned against the queen.


    The traitors to Eildred''s right tried flanking him, but he stepped into the pocket of space he created, stepping on the plates of fallen men and going deeper into the enemy position. Fools the lot of them. He hadn''t taught them to be this poor in combat, standing so close to each other while wielding longswords. None of them were wearing their diamond shaped shields either. They probably hadn''t expected to meet the dispatched group of the Guard.


    Eildred swung with precision, aiming all his attacks at necks rather than risk his blade bouncing off or getting trapped within damaged armor plates. His assailers could only shuffle back to raise their weapons in defense. They couldn''t attack back or take appropriate stances with how tight their formation was. Enemies surrounded him, trapping him inside a circle, but the allied knights had reached the line and crashed into them. Chaos ensued. Iron clashed with iron, be it the sounds of armor striking armor or blade striking blade. Eildred only pushed forward, not intending to get caught up in the struggle for space. He slaughtered his former comrades as they stepped backwards and pushed against each other to gain distance.


    And then he was through. A corpse ridden courtyard lay before him. Dahlia, Sir L''Faleur, and Adrian stood at the steps of the palace gates, enemies barring their passage. Dahlia shoved a wounded man down the stairs. Eildred met his beloved queen''s eyes. "Your majesty!" he howled. Her cheek was torn, half her beautiful face painted red.


    He saw her lips part. Saw the glint of water in her eyes. She leapt down the stairs through a brief pocket of space, her cloak flying behind her like a black flag, and ran towards him, gold locks flowing. Adrian followed her down leaving Sir L''Faleur to fend off attacks alone. He''d manage, now that he wasn''t burdened by needing to protect another.


    Eildred sprinted towards Dahlia. He grit his teeth as shadows other than his own extended before him, screams for death at his back. He turned to find two traitors right behind him, both of them swinging at once. Eildred parried both blows, grunting at their weight. He let the force push him away to gain distance, before sinking to his knees and letting the Thundersword flash again, taking down one man with a blitzing thrust.


    The second was more hesitant, shuffling his feat to round around Eildred as if he were in a duel. But there were none who could match his skills in the Guard save for Azurus. He stepped in, seeking to make use of his opponent''s hesitance, winter wind pressing against his skin. Swords clashed. Without armor of his own to slow him down, Eildred felt more at ease when making precise attacks. Protection wasn''t required if there was no chance of being hit.


    The exchange lasted blinking moments. Eildred forced his opponent off balance and swatted aside their weapon before cutting them down. His heart pounded in both excitement and labour. He at last turned his attention towards his queen.


    ***


    Dahlia almost skipped down the courtyard, unable to contain her euphoria. All the bodies around didn''t bother her. The screams barely registered in her mind. Her gaze was fixed on the dashing knight before her. He danced around a former ally, triumphing within seconds. Dahlia knew she was blushing. Cold air pushed against her. But it wasn''t enough to stop her.


    I''m going to kiss that big oaf. I''m going to jump into his arms and ki—


    Her breath caught in her throat as something grabbed at her wrist and pulled her back. Her arm clicked at the sudden tug and she let out a yelp. The First Chancellor stared into her eyes as she struggled against his tight grip. "I''m afraid I can''t let you go further, Dahlia."


    She frowned, trying to pull away his hand with her free hand. It didn''t budge. He only squeezed harder, causing her pain. "Let go! Let me go Adrian!" she complained. Her orders went unheard. She scratched at his hand and then beat at his chest. Tears of frustration gathered. She felt a child kept from her favorite toy. "Let g—"


    The word caught between a gasp. Dahlia croaked, blinking for clarity. Sharp pain shot up her side. A growing red circle stained her sky blue gown. "Adrian?" she managed to say through all that pain.


    "Forgive me, Dahlia. But you knew, didn''t you? You eventually figured out who I was and what I was doing. I didn''t want to believe it at first, but your mannerisms and avoidance of me grew too suspicious. If only you''d accepted the Trillian faith." He ripped the dagger out of her side and plunged it back a little higher. She gasped again, clutching fistfuls of his coat and pushing against him. Adrian cupped her chin in his hand and pressed his lips against her open mouth. He pulled away and nibbled on her ear, holding her close. "I''ll have you know, I poisoned Madrivall. I wonder, how does it feel to learn you''ve lain with the man that made you a widow? I did much enjoy the nights we spent together. You treated me well," he said. "Very well." He rubbed her lips with a thumb. And then he let go, letting her fall.


    ***


    "No," Eildred breathed. "NO! Get away from her you bastard!"


    Adrian whispered something in Dahlia''s ear. Whispered loud enough for Eildred to catch his words. He screamed and raised his sword high. Dahlia fell to the grass with a thud, barely moving. Adrian produced a second dagger from within his coat and took a readied stance, smiling with teeth bared. His eyes went wide as Eildred''s shadow overwhelmed him.


    "Die!" Eildred roared, bringing his blade down and splitting the assassin in two straight down the middle. Blood sprayed out. Eildred dropped his weapon and fell upon Dahlia, protecting her from being sullied with such foul blood. "Dahlia. Dahlia, please open your eyes," he pleaded, holding her cheek. His tears fell upon her face and mixed with hers. She blinked, smiling up at him, a thin line of red spilling out the edge of her lips.


    "Eildred," she said, voice faint.


    "Don''t speak. We''ll get you tr—" he stopped as she reached up and pushed a loose lock of his hair past his ear.


    "Eildred… Did you love me?"


    He froze. A lump formed in his throat and his vision blurred. He nodded. "I did. I did love you, Dahlia. I always will."


    "Then kiss me, won''t you?"


    He did. He kissed her without any more hesitation. She grabbed a fistful of his hair as their lips locked for what felt like a mere breath''s length in time.


    "I loved you too," she said still smiling. "Watch Emeria for me, won''t you?"


    "No. No! I''ll get you treated. We can watch her together. We can mph!" his voice got caught as she pulled his head down and kissed him again. "Dahlia?" he said when they''d pulled away.


    Her smile withered. "I don''t want this to end," she wept. "I don''t want this moment to go away. I don''t want to die. I want to be with you always, Eildred. Why? Why didn''t you come sooner?"


    He couldn''t breathe. That lump had turned into a boulder in his throat. "I''m sorry," he croaked.


    Dahlia continued to cry. Her chest rose and fell quickly now. The grip she had on his hair loosened. She pressed down on the back of his head and kissed him again. This time, Eildred didn''t let go. Didn''t pull away. He held her there, lips pressed against hers, his tears mixing with hers, her pooling blood staining his shirt of mail.


    And then Dahlia went limp. Her hand slid off from the side of his head and fell to the ground. He wiped her tears and lay her head to rest.


    I''m sorry.


    Eildred screamed at the sky.