They were making history. No Gin army ever reached this far into Kuro. Kuro’s people never felt as much conflict as they did now in the aftermath of Masaaki’s choice to side with the enemy; with the allure of fresh food and safety, Kuro’s citizens lost their will to fight and stomached their fear of the north. In just a few days, Gin and Sólstaeur’s army would make it to Kuro’s palace, something not even Ginshin had managed in all of his wars.


    Yet Taiyo was stuck with a splitting migraine and growing fear of the voices in his head. He hoped that maybe they’d get quieter the further they were from Gin—if anything, they got louder. As they pointed out, it was easier to frame murders as accidents or by another culprit if they’re far enough.


    You don’t need to put this off. You can end it now—today, if you wanted. Everyone dies, Taiyo.


    Taking their lives would be a mercy. You can’t protect them, you can’t save them. You are no more capable than Seiko in that regard.


    Only Lady Aimiki can change our fate, but you’re running out of time. You have to make a choice.


    Yourself, or them?


    They asked him the question almost every day, right before he drifted off to sleep. They didn’t let him dream normally, barely let him pretend he wasn’t in pain.


    Taiyo knew the choice should be obvious. He shouldn’t need to hesitate—he should be able to answer confidently.


    So was it selfish that he wasn’t sure?


    The thought randomly came up while he sat with Rei, both reading their own things. Taiyo had one of the books Lady Yanami gave him while Rei half-smiled over a letter from Maeko.


    Tell him, Tsujihara Seiko’s voice murmured. He’ll understand. Please.


    He lightly shook his head in response, appreciating how easily Rei grinned now. He didn’t want to drag his brother down.


    Taiyo closed his book and readjusted himself so he could peer over Rei’s shoulder at the letter.


    “How’s my niece?”


    Rei rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed any annoyance or embarrassment.


    “She’s enjoying the sunlight, at least. Maeko gave her a little collar so she’s easier to spot.”


    “That’s neat. Does the tom have a name yet?”


    “Since he was found in the summer, Maeko’s thinking of Iris or Maple. Right now he’s just ‘the other one,’ though.”


    “What does he look like?”


    “Mottled brown, kind of like Snowbell.”


    Taiyo put on a dramatic ‘thinking’ face, stroking his chin. He snapped and pointed at Rei after a second.


    “Name him ‘Bear.’”


    Rei chuckled. “Taiyo, he’s tiny enough to hold in one hand and he’s completely nonthreatening.”


    “Fine.” Taiyo straightened and crossed his arms. “‘Fluffy,’ then.”


    “That’s worse!”


    Amidst shared laughter, Rei patted Taiyo’s arm and eventually donned a half-joking frown.


    “Give a serious suggestion,” Rei said firmly.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    “All right, all right.” Taiyo fell silent to think of something, a part of his thoughts focused on the conversation and the other half worried about the voices. He let Tsujihara Seiko offer a name in his stead, unable to think of anything substantial. “‘Azalea.’ It’s a companion plant to snowbell trees.”


    Rei nodded after a second.


    “That’ll work, actually,” he mused. With a curious look, he asked, “How do you even know that?”


    “It was in the palace’s gardens while Queen Tsujihara Seiko was alive,” Taiyo admitted, dutifully and playfully.


    Rei laughed and patted Taiyo’s arm again.


    “That explains everything. You could be a historian with all the information about the first queen you have in your head.”


    Taiyo beamed back as if it were a joke. Rei meant it as a genuine suggestion, but Taiyo wouldn’t last a second with his ‘I read it somewhere’ facts around people who knew they weren’t written down. He’d be shunned as a historical menace, if anything.


    Rei went back to the letter in a few minutes, leaving Taiyo to his thoughts. He laid down on the grass and watched the clouds in an attempt to keep his mind off things. Rei spoke up and kept Taiyo from closing his eyes.


    “...Is it selfish that I’m just…ready to go home? But at the same time, I’m scared of leaving without Mother and Father.”


    Taiyo tilted his head over to his brother.


    “There are far more selfish things to want than that.”


    Rei scoffed, folding up the letter and setting it aside. He moved to face Taiyo and sat with his legs close to his chest so he could put his head on his knees.


    “Sure,” he muttered sarcastically. There’s the Rei that Taiyo’s been trying to keep from reemerging. Just hearing his voice made Taiyo deflate. “Give one good example.”


    The voices—Tsujihara Seiko, in particular—forced the words out of his mouth before he could filter them.


    “Being so scared of personal death that you’d rather see others die. That goes from selfish right to cowardly.”


    He jerked his head away from Rei in response to his own comment, which unfortunately just made Rei question it more. His older brother repositioned himself and put a hand on Taiyo’s shoulder.


    “Are you okay?”


    “...No.”


    “Do you want to talk to someone about it? I can get Mother or Father.”


    Taiyo shoved Rei’s hand off and turned in the other direction.


    “It won’t help.”


    Please, Tsujihara Seiko murmured. You can work it out together—-I know you can.


    Taiyo sighed and bit his lip. Rei patiently waited for any comment otherwise; he had his own experience to draw from, and pressing the issue hardly ever worked.


    Taiyo looked over his shoulder.


    “Hey, Rei?”


    “Yeah?”


    “You’re the best big brother ever.”


    “Thanks—but that’s why I worry.”


    “Yeah, I know. It’s a part of the reason why I’m…not really comfortable sharing some things yet. It’ll only hurt more, not less.”


    Taiyo rolled over to face Rei again and ignore the voices a little better, trying to put on a smile.


    “Let me guess,” he began, teasing and trying to shake off Tsujihara Seiko’s concern, “I’m your second favorite person. Maeko is your favorite.”


    “You’re tied,” Rei replied defensively, following Taiyo’s lead. He seemed willing to drop the subject for Taiyo’s sake; that was good. “You were there for me before Maeko.”


    “Really? Because it felt like you forgot about me when Maeko came into the picture.” Rei playfully swatted at him, visibly relaxing as Taiyo laughed a bit more. “I mean, for an entire month you just went on and on about ‘Maeko this’ and ‘Maeko that.’ Love at first sight.”


    “We were thirteen and she was the first girl that let me introduce myself instead of putting words in my mouth,” Rei argued.


    “You fantasized taking her on dates after year one,” Taiyo maintained, letting his smile lead the way. “One year after you met me, you were knocking me over whenever I tried to stand.”


    Rei laughed and shook his head. “I should not be held accountable for things I did as a toddler. How about this—you’re my favorite brother, Maeko is my favorite partner. Sound better?”


    Taiyo sat up and brushed the dirt off his shoulders. “I suppose we can go with that. Just give me your game ticket next time we help out Sir Eidayu.”


    “Deal.”


    Taiyo beamed back as Rei readjusted again, this time noticing Kyoumi and Sorai coming over. He caught them up with Maeko while Taiyo collected his book and grinned away the darker thoughts.


    He knew he had to make a choice—but for now, couldn’t he just pretend they would all make it out of this alive?