Riker led me into a backstage room that was as chaotic as a battlefield—and just as noisy.


    The air buzzed with a symphony of voices calling out instructions, the hum of equipment, and the occasional sharp laugh from a stressed technician.


    Makeup artists flitted between cosplayers like caffeinated hummingbirds, their hands moving in a blur. Garment racks crowded the walls, filled with glittering costumes and absurdly over-the-top outfits that looked like they belonged in an Imperial jester fever dream.


    He guided me to a chair in the corner, directly in front of a vanity mirror surrounded by blinding bulbs.


    Before I could protest, a bubbly makeup artist practically danced into view, her cheerful energy radiating like sunshine after having ten whiskeys.


    “Hello, darling! I’m Mia, and we’re going to make you sparkle today!” she trilled, snapping open a ridiculously cute pink briefcase plastered with stickers of bunnies, bows, and motivational quotes. If a unicorn exploded, it would look like that case.


    First Riker, now this…


    I barely had time to react before she gestured for me to sit. Riker, of course, was already grinning like a proud peacock at my obvious discomfort.


    “As you’re likely aware, my schedule is quite demanding,” Riker began, his tone full of smug self-importance. “To ensure you receive the attention and guidance you deserve, I’d like to introduce you to someone from my team who will assist you throughout the day. Would you prefer that arrangement with someone specific?”


    “The only one I know on your team is the brunette at the side door…” I muttered under my breath as Mia gently nudged me into the chair.


    “Splendid!” Riker declared with theatrical flair, clearly having heard me. “She’s on her way as we speak!”


    Mia, undeterred by my sour expression, pulled out a hydrating primer from her arsenal of beauty magic. “Close your eyes, sweetie,” she instructed in a voice so sweet it should’ve come with a dental warning. The cool gel spread over my skin, refreshing but oddly invasive, as if I were being spritzed by an overly enthusiastic gardener.


    “Mister Riker! That’s…” I started, my words muffled by the brush she was now wielding like a painter attacking a canvas. “Very well…”


    The primer wasn’t even dry before Mia moved on, dabbing foundation across my face with rapid, precise movements. “You have such lovely features,” she cooed, blending expertly. “This’ll just even everything out. You’ll look radiant, darling!”


    Before I could form a snarky reply, Riker’s roaring voice sounded over the chaos. “Ah, behold, the woman of the hour!”


    I groaned inwardly and glanced at the mirror.


    Standing nervously in the doorway was the brunette from earlier, her wide eyes darting around the room as if expecting an ambush. She clutched her tablet like it was a shield, her knuckles white.


    “You need me, Mister Riker?” she asked timidly, her voice almost a whisper. It was like watching a rabbit trying to negotiate with a lion.


    “Yes, my dear!” Riker called out, his arms spread wide as if addressing an adoring crowd again. “Lady Charlie herself has personally summoned you to be her manager! Can you rise to the occasion and bask in the glory of her request?”


    Mia, meanwhile, moved on to powder, setting my foundation with a flurry of quick pats. “Look at you! Perfect already,” she said, dusting off her brush dramatically as if she’d just sculpted the imperial queen herself.


    “Manager?” I muttered under my breath, glaring daggers at Riker through the mirror. But my glare softened when I saw the girl’s expression—equal parts terror and disbelief. “You’ll do great,” I said, surprising even myself.


    Mia handed me a handheld mirror. “See, darling? Gorgeous already!”


    “I can do it, Mister Riker,” the girl said, her voice trembling slightly before gaining strength. “It would be my honor!” She looked genuinely happy, her nervous energy transforming into a shy but determined smile.


    “Splendid news!” Riker announced, clapping his hands together with theatrical delight. “I’ve got a whirlwind of preparations to attend to, but fear not—I shall see you soon during the grand introduction. Ah, yes, I’ll add it! Toodles for now, darling!”


    And just like that, he spun around, his blinding coat shimmering obnoxiously as he vanished through the doorway. I hadn’t even mustered a response before the light-show that was Riker disappeared.


    Mia, unbothered by his dramatic exit, moved on to contour and highlight. Her hands worked with the precision of a surgeon, except she was far too cheerful for someone wielding a brush as sharp as her cheekbone goals.


    “Lady Charlie, my name is… Lola,” the girl said hesitantly, her voice wavering. She closed her eyes as if expecting a slap, her shoulders tensed in quiet anticipation.


    I blinked, caught off guard by her behavior. “Nice to meet you, Lola,” I replied, my tone even though my gaze flickered warily toward Mia. She was furiously rummaging through her pink briefcase like a squirrel digging for a long-lost acorn, muttering to herself as stickers of bunnies and rainbows jostled with every motion.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    It was both chaotic and strangely adorable.


    “You… don’t think my name is weird?” Lola asked timidly, stepping closer to me, her holo-tablet clutched protectively against her chest.


    I looked at her, genuinely perplexed. “Why would I? It’s a beautiful name.” I meant it, but I couldn’t hide my confusion about why she’d brought it up. Before I could press further, Mia popped back up, triumphantly holding a small compact.


    “Oh, darling, you are going to love this!” Mia declared, brandishing the brightest pink blush I’d ever seen. “This will be perfect for you!”


    I had my doubts, but before I could protest, Mia was already applying it with the enthusiasm of an artist painting a masterpiece.


    “Lady Charlie,” Lola spoke up again, her voice quieter this time, “I know you don’t have the key on you, but do you have… permissions set up? Can you… share them?”


    I glanced at her, momentarily unsure of what she was asking, before Jerry’s voice chimed in smoothly. “I can do that, Miss Charlie. Tell her to open a BT channel.”


    “Of course, Lola,” I said with a small smile. “Open your BT channel.”


    Lola’s face lit up with relief, and she began fiddling with her holo-tablet. Meanwhile, Mia leaned in close, her brows furrowed in intense concentration. “Your eyes, darling, they are stunning already, but we’re going to make them pop!” She produced a palette of dazzling eyeshadows with shades so vibrant they practically screamed, look at me!


    Her brush swept across my eyelids with precision, layering shades of icy silver and deep blue. “Almost there!” Mia chirped, her voice filled with excitement.


    “Woah!” Lola suddenly jumped slightly, her holo-tablet beeping angrily in her hands. “You’re fast, Lady Charlie! I got it!”


    “Me? Oh, of course, yeah… Lola,” I replied with a grin, my eyes watering slightly from the makeup assault.


    “Oh, uh!” Lola stammered, her voice hitching as her wide eyes darted toward the door. “That’s…”


    “What’s going on, Lola?” I asked, my tone wary as I caught sight of at least ten men strolling into the room. Dressed like forest bandits I’d seen in-game with Katherine, their outfits were a chaotic mix of rugged leathers, faded tunics, and mismatched boots. My body tensed slightly, instincts kicking in. “Lola?”


    “They… They’re here to talk about…” Lola trailed off, flustered, before blurting out, “Did you know you need to perform a stunt fight in thirty minutes?”


    “Plenty of time, darling,” Mia chirped cheerfully from behind me, entirely unbothered by the sudden influx of scruffy strangers. She was already rummaging through her pink briefcase again, stickers wobbling as she muttered something about the perfect eyeliner.


    Meanwhile, the bandits kept advancing, their boots thudding softly against the polished floor.


    “Ah, I see…” Lola exclaimed, a nervous laugh bubbling out as she glanced at her holo-tablet. “Mister Riker added it a few minutes ago, just as he left…”


    “Of course he did,” I muttered, shaking my head as one bandit stepped forward, his confident swagger clearly marking him as their leader. His dark hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, and a fake scar ran jaggedly across his jawline, giving him the perfect “generic tough guy” vibe.


    What an excellent actor and costume!


    “And you are?” I asked, keeping my tone neutral but my eyes sharp.


    “Hello, Sword Queen,” he said with a grin that was more cocky than charming. “I’m Bandit Leader, and the boss told us you’d join us during the opening speech.”


    “I… was informed just now, yes,” I replied, forcing a polite smile. “Never done that before.”


    Mia, meanwhile, had finally unearthed an eyeliner and swooped back in like a hawk spotting prey. “Hold still, darling,” she instructed, her tone bright and unwavering as she began applying the eyeliner with a fevered intensity.


    The Bandit Leader barely seemed to notice my predicament, his grin widening. “It’s simple—just follow my lead. We’ll make it look good for the audience.”


    “Great,” I muttered through clenched teeth, as Mia’s hand tilted my chin upward. “Because that’s exactly what I need right now—last-minute choreography with bandits.”


    “Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Mia said breezily, stepping back to examine her work. “You’ll look fabulous while doing it.”


    The leader looked at me, his confident smirk faltering as his gaze lingered. His mouth opened as if to speak, but closed again just as quickly. Clearly, he was a bit speechless.


    I would be too if I saw myself.


    Damn.


    He cleared his throat, finally managing, “We… uh, we’re using martial arts for the performance, but, you know, with useless flourishes or spins to make it look more dramatic. Can… uh… will you do that with us?”


    I couldn’t help it—I giggled. Mia immediately shot me a scolding look, her perfectly arched brow raised in judgment. “Sorry,” I said, holding my hands up to placate her before turning back to the leader. “In a game, that kind of thing actually works, y’know. Superpowers and all that. So yeah, I think I’ll manage.”


    Mia huffed but pulled out a tube of mascara with an air of exaggerated grace, like she was wielding a legendary artifact. She leaned in, her expression intense as she started coating my lashes.


    Lola’s voice broke the moment, a chirp of nervous excitement. “Mister Riker just added a note… uh…” She glanced at her holo-tablet, her lips twitching as if holding back laughter. “He wrote, ‘These people are so laughably incompetent, I might as well roll up my sleeves and do it myself!’”


    I fought the urge to laugh outright, biting my lip instead. “What a sacrifice! Our shy Riker will present to a crowd!” I said with mock seriousness, my tone dry.


    That did it.


    The room erupted into laughter, even Mia chuckling softly as she finished the mascara and reached for her brow pencil.


    The Bandit Leader straightened, his smirk returning with renewed confidence. “So yeah, boss,” he said, gesturing toward the door, “see you on stage.”


    The rest of the bandits gave awkward bows, their movements stiff but respectful, before filtering out one by one.


    Mia was already focused on my eyebrows, her pencil moving with the precision of a draftsman sketching blueprints. “Hold still, darling,” she murmured, the laughter still lingering faintly in her voice. “We can’t have uneven brows during a big performance.”


    “No, that we don’t want…” I said, watching as Mia leaned in to finish the last step of her work. With a flourish, she applied a deep color to my lips, her hand steady as she painted them with a precision that felt almost artistic. The result was bold, striking, and—annoyingly—perfect.


    “There! Now you’re ready to conquer the world, darling!” Mia declared, stepping back and admiring her masterpiece with a satisfied grin.


    Lola shifted nervously beside me, her holo-tablet clutched tightly. “We need to go, Lady Charlie,” she said, her tone polite but insistent. “Your dressing room is down the hallway.”


    Mia clasped her hands together in a gesture of exaggerated cuteness, her face lighting up like a proud parent. “Go, go, my darling star! Shine brightly and make them all swoon!” she exclaimed, waving us off.


    I gave her a quick nod, stifling a laugh as Lola ushered me toward the door.


    The hallway stretched ahead, quiet but buzzing with an undercurrent of anticipation. Lola led the way, her steps quick and purposeful. When we reached a door marked with an ornate sign, very similar to my signature in-game, she hesitated before pushing it open.


    As the door creaked slightly on its hinges, I stepped inside, and my breath caught.


    What… is this?