TOAD – Chapter 59


    I put on the ne, right next to the cor that they had already put on me to restrict my magic. It had been such a short time since I freed myself from that breeding prison, and I had already epted another cor. What happened to that bold woman who would do whatever she wanted from now on? I guess thefort of a civilized world, even one belonging to the demon realm, was a temptation I couldn’t give up.


    Shortly after giving me the cor, Oberon gave a farewell and another warning. In three days, I had to learn a library’s worth of education and be a proper demonic diplomate that wouldn’t shame the demon lord or threaten his position on the throne. Even after all of that, I couldn’t get a single promise that he would satisfy me sexually. He merely said that he would look into finding me a ymate that wouldn’t break after a single-use.


    I decided to leave it to him then. I wasn’t particrly satisfied, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I still wasn’tpletely sure of how I stood next to Oberon. He certainly allowed me to speak my mind, but I still was wary that the wrong step could push things too far and that he might get rid of me with the snap of a finger. Of course, I wouldn’t go without a fight, but I wasn’t a fighter in the first ce. I desired to have Oberon, not make an enemy of him. I would y ball… at least until I could y with his balls. After that, who knew?


    As I sat down and picked up a book, I couldn’t help but tug ufortably at the cor around my neck. It was somewhat ufortable, but that difort wasn’t being caused by the feeling of being choked. I’d probably like it if the choker was tight enough to restrict my breath. This feeling came from the numbness that had permeated my body. True to his word, the cor the demon king had delivered me had caused me to lose all feeling.


    It wasn’t like my sexual desire had disappeared. However, it wasn’t being stoked. It was like depriving a fire of oxygen. It became smoldering charcoal, hot and simmering beneath the surface, but unable to express the energy and excitement that it wanted to. The very air used to caress my skin. The lightest breath on the back of my neck would have made me impossibly wet. Yet, I could no longer feel the air, or heat for that matter.


    It wasn’t just the air, but every touch. The feel of the fabric on my skin could excite me. The feel of a chair pressing against my behind was like a paddle smacking it gently. The feel of a pencil between my fingers felt a bit like a prick yearning to be stroked. I had never realized just how perverted my mind had gotten over thest year. Sex was the only thing and everything, and it took losing those sensations before I finally realized how broken I was.


    Now, I could reach under my skirt and touched my clitoris, and I felt nothing. If I watched myself do it, I could still get wet, but without any satisfaction that came from physical pleasure or pain, there was no point. For the first time in nearly two years, I got tired of masturbation. With my mind no longer filled with sexual desire, I found my brain bing much clearer. This wasn’t a clearness that resembled what I had before I had be a seductress. This was a clearness that exceeded anything I had ever achieved before, the power of leveling up and bing more than just a human.


    As my brain fog disappeared, my boredom began to amplify. I couldn’t help but reflect on the years since I hade to this world. I had experienced happy times, and I had experienced sad times. Those happiest times seemed to be the ones when I was on the road with Min. They weren’t the only times I was happy, but they were the times I remembered being the most content with myself.


    “That’s because I thought I was going to change the world,” I whispered to myself.


    It wasn’t just the sex or the excitement of going on an adventure. Min and I had many trials and tribtions as we worked our way away from Nidia and fled to the demon realm. There were times when we starved, and other times when we feared for our lives. The boat ride from the human continent to this one alone took a month and was cramped and difficult. I only got through it by ying with Min nonstop. I was surprised she managed to take it all.


    Plenty of that journey was miserable. The reason that I saw it as a happy time was the intent behind it. Min had filled my head with the idea of bing a hero. She had convinced me that I could truly make this world a better ce. Perhaps, I could have stopped the wars between humans and demons. Maybe, I could have preached love, not war, and through my pussy, I could have united the people. There were many of these thoughts that had gone through my head. I wanted fame, honor, and peace.


    Then, many things happened. I had been beaten down, forced to lose, forced to sacrifice. Over and over again, I had given everything up, and when I had finally ended up with nothing but myself, even that was taken by another. My mind that still believed that there was good in the world even after being brutalized by Nidia had slowly copsed into nihilism, and that finally reached the point of apathy.


    Min had be the hero on his own, fulfilling the dream he had wished for me. I could see though that a hero was merely a patsy for some king or lord who sought to increase their power. The appeal of being a hero was long gone. I had obtained a sort of fame, or at least I could call it infamy. I was in a position where I could influence the demon king. I could work with him and try to create peace. I could help the demons and the humans. I had no desire to do so though.


    There was nothing I wanted in life. There was no end goal for me. Treating sex as my end goal had merely been a distraction, but the cor around my neck stripped me of such a distraction. All I had left was emptiness. If I was a different kind of woman, I might be contemting suicide at this point. If life had no meaning, then why bother continuing? This world had nothing for me, and how could I even contemte trying to go home? I would be far too ashamed of the life I lived there to get by back there. I could never return to that world unless I got rid of my seductress job and became a normal woman again.


    I was far too stubborn to throw in the towel though, and so I found myself picking up books and reading. Most of the books that Oberon had left to me were extremely boring. They showed maps, listed political affiliations, and more. It was tedious and it made my head throb. At some point, I heard a knock on the exit. I walked over and opened the door to see a tray of food sitting there. The maids were avoiding me. Even with the ne, they feared I would take them.


    I made a snort, and then picked up the te and returned to my ce in the library. However, as I was walking there, I noticed a book on one of the shelves that was slightly askew. I shifted the te to one hand and pulled out the book. I only opened it after returning to my seat. Most books in this world had no kind ofbeling on the edges. They were bound in thick leather and weren’t designed to be sold or examined in mass. One could forget the Dewey decimal system. One had to pull them out and open them up to learn what they were.


    “The Immoral King…” I read the title.


    It sounded like some kind of fictional fantasy book, but such a thing sounded unlikely in this kind of world, let alone something owned by the demon king. I flipped the pages and started reading through the book.


    <em>My name is Julienne Smith, and this is my ount of everything I have learned sinceing to this world</em>.


    I froze for a moment, staring down at the script. Most books were written by a scribe, so the text was generally very clear, intended for other people to read it. It was only reports and surveys where the writing became impossible to read. This person’s writing wasn’t the worst, but it was clear they weren’t a scribe either. If what that sentence said was true, this must have been the journal of the hero who killed the dragon god.


    What was his journal doing here? I supposed, since he traveled here to defeat the dragon god, then it made sense that this journal would be there too. Had he died after killing the dragon god, and the demon king took his journal? I shook my head. I knew I had to read more of this journal if I wanted to learn anything.


    <em>I havepiled this journal depicting my journey in this other world to give an ount of my findings. Although the kings and lords of humanity try to keep me distracted, I have always felt that something was off ever since I was summoned here. I hope this journal one day finds the right person, someone who can understand its contents. I believe that for that person to exist, they would have to be someone like me, someone from another world.</em>


    My heart quickened, and I could feel a growing excitement in me that was cutting through the numbness. “Someone like me…”


    That was right. I wasn’t the only person brought here from another world. He might have been summoned deliberately by a human ritual, while I just appeared with seemingly no reason, but we were still both from a world, unlike this one. I became even more eager to read on.


    <em>The humans here speak of a great war, one between humanity and demons. For untold centuries, the demons have steadily been invading theirnd, taking everything away from the humans. However, before there were demons and humans, there were dragons. The dragons had been hunted to extinction, and allegedly only one dragon exists, who happens to be on the same side as the demons. To them, it’s a simple matter of escaping annihtion, but in my research, I’m starting to see a deeper meaning.</em>


    <em>Maybe it’s because I came from a more civilized world, but I believe the need for this battle isn’t so simple as one side is evil and the other side is good. Rather, I havee to believe that the true battle is between the concepts of mana and energy. I have tried to exin my theories to the mages and academia of this world, but they have been unable to understand things. Mana has always been a part of this world, so they couldn’t possibly grasp what a world based on energy would be.</em>


    <em>This is why I believe that only someone from another world could understand what I’m about to reveal. You would need to see a world that didn’t have magic to ept my theory. I’m reminded of the allegory of the cave. I’m sorry if you don’t understand that reference. In my previous world, I was a philosophy instructor. I’ll try to keep my musings to a basic level.</em>


    <em>I propose that this world is an alternate dimension that exists parallel to my world. In my world, we had theorized that there were matter and anti-matter. If the two coexisted, then they would immediately destroy each other. However, what if theyplimented each other instead? What if for the matter to exist, anti-matter existed on another coin, the flip-side of our universe was our anti-universe?</em>


    <em>Now, let’s propose that the anti-energy of electricity was mana. Imagine a world where all energy was mana, and all beings were mana! I believe the world we are in was once such a world. Mana has differentws than energy. Things like the conservation of energy don’t exist in this world. This is why magical feats are so… well… magical.</em>


    <em>I believe that some time long ago, a schism urred. Energy leaked into this world, and this caused the world to change. Afterward, it’s be this weird mismatch of energy and mana. All of this conflict, at its heart, isn’t light versus dark, but energy versus mana. Humans are beings of energy. Demons are beings of energy and mana. Dragons were beings of pure mana.</em>


    <em>I fear that this schism though will have one dangerous effect. If this world has been gaining energy then the flipside would have to be true too. That means that my world will be magic!</em>


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