I… I couldn''t understand a word that came out of the instructor''s mouth.
I knew the language, in theory was the only one I actually knew. But just like holding a eel covered in oil, it was hard to grasp the meaning with my brain, nothing lingered in my mind.
I looked at my colleagues, trying to see if anyone else shared this problem, but I could only see figures nodding at each of the instructor''s pauses.
They were different from the people in the lobby or the elevator, they looked almost normal, but there was something missing in their eyes, like a spark or something, the only difference between theirs and a doll’s eyes was that theirs moved… I think.
Everyone looked like that. Except for one other Guy who was sitting on the far end on the left side.
Like me, he was looking for something in this room, maybe a translation sign maybe a hidden powerpoint with all the words the instructor said, wish I could take a picture of that. With frowns and a concerned look, our eyes met. At that moment, I had a feeling of affinity with that stranger who felt as lost as I did, being the only lost would be kind of sad.
Throughout the introduction, we exchanged glances, to ensure that the other had not disappeared, as if our minds had conjured up a spark of hope from a trick of the light. Time seemed to drag on during the explanation. The instructor spoke, they nodded, and the walls seemed to close, but I was no longer alone, there was another one like me.
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Before leaving the room, each person received a folder with documents with personal information to fill and data to start working.That Guy was the first to leave, I was the last. He was nowhere to be found when I left, everyone had dispersed.
It was 9 am and the work would go on until 5 pm, which is too long when you don''t know what to do.I could feel a headache wanting to start. First day of work and I already felt overwhelmed.
Holding my briefcase in one hand and the documents in the other, I decided to get a glass of water, to become more familiar with my new workplace and avoid the tasks that needed to be done. A huge line cut the floor, going from the entrance to the canteen, they let us through to get to the instruction room, but the number of people didn''t seem to have diminished, it just seemed to grow and expand deeper and deeper on the floor.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
I didn''t want to cut their queue, but the sink was right behind the line, I squeezed myself in between two very annoyed coworkers of mine. I could see the pure hatred boiling in their bloodshot eyes as I approached my goal, "Look at you, making friends" I thought with shame coloring my face red.
So far, this has been the first display of emotion I''ve seen since I entered the building, and it looked like they were going to stab me with a ballpoint pen given the chance.The object of attention was this strange coffee maker. It was the size of an automatic vending machine, but with the press of a button, it would fill the little paper cups. it looked run down and old, with rust appearing in the corners, making horrible noises when filling a paper cup, it looked so foreign compared to the sterile white of the place.
It made very curious, it didn''t look delicious at all.
Weird.
Back at my desk with my paper cup filled with water, I took a sip. It tasted like rust.
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I am not sure what happened that day, the moment I sat in my cubicle, it is as if all my doubts disappeared, an instinct took over my body when I opened the Excel program. I didn''t understand anything the spreadsheets said, but I knew what it wanted me to type to make it whole.
Beside my computer was a portrait of a family, a rosy cheeked guy with two snotty children in his arms, with those wide grims that you forget how to do when you grow old.
I lost attention, the laser focus and ready answers failing to come for me, once again I felt that oily sensation in my brain looking at those letters in the screen.
I tried to invoke that little spurt of inspiration, but I ended up going back to square one. Lost.
Frustrating.
It was all fault of the useless worker who did not learn to collect his garbage before he left.
Even after throwing the distraction in the trash can, I still felt trapped in my own body.
Not even 20 minutes have passed since the line incident. I find myself going to the bathroom. I don''t even think splashing my face would be enough to wash away the feeling of failure that I felt building up on my back with every step taken.
The workers'' cubicles were too narrow, I guess it is so it can accommodate as many workers as possible, but the scope was supernatural in size the way I could see a horizon of people working and fluorescent lamps on the plastic ceiling but not the end, if there was one.
The entrance and the bathrooms just ahead, I look at the little blue sign for the mans bathroom, I felt my breath shortening, if I kept looking at the horizon, I felt like something inside of me would break beyond repair
I sweat cold, I feel myself shaking uncontrollably when I open the bathroom door, but, in front of the mirrors, I see that Guy, breathing heavily, in his expression I could see the panic that consumed me.He was lost, just like me.
I felt my tremors stopping.
"Hi"
I said without knowing what to speak.