A ball of glowing light was being held in front of John''s face.
He frowned. He flexed his hand and willed the mana inside of him to come out and form in a ball of light......
Nothing happened.
"What''s the problem," said the old witch, whose name he was apparently Nejab.
"I don''t know, its not working," he said.
They were both in the witches little cottage, sitting on stools in the morning light.
He''d been set up in her living room and kitchen, on a kind of hard matt made of woven plants with blankets on top. Not the Ritz, but he wasn''t complaining, at least he wasn''t out in the woods.
Nejab could apparently keep up the translation spell indefinitely, it only cost her small upkeep of mana to do it. Since she was the only one who could understand him, he was stuck with her, until he could learn the local language or something.
She''d convinced him that with his Title: Ether Tapped, using magic was a no brainer.
But Mr. Smith did not believe in magic. He believed in paperwork. He believed in contracts, and addendums. He believed in ball point pens, and high tickets sales. He believed in finance.
When John Smith was young, his father had worked at a bank, and he had dreamed of working at that same bank. He''d grown up, and gotten a degree in contract law, and proceeded to negotiate deals for companies and corporations. He always read the fine print, and always backed up his hard drive in the cloud. He was very careful and meticulous, but he had never believed, nor had any of the Smith family ever believed, in magic.
He didn''t even watch those types of movies, he preffered documentaries, or the news.
And sorry to say his sense of humor was usually:
1 out to sea,
2 not at home, or
3 otherwise engaged.
So he was having a great deal of trouble, believing he had any kind of mana, or magical ability, when all he''d ever wanted to do, was paperwork.
"Say Status," said the witch.
"Status," said Mr. Smith, "Oh," he jumped, and the old witch giggled, as his Status page appeard in front of him.
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%; height: 125px" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px">
<td style="width: 23.499%; height: 17px">Name: John Smith</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Race: Human (Earth)</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Health: 100</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Mana: 100</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 17px">
<td style="width: 23.499%; height: 17px">Class: None</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px"> </td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px"> </td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px"> </td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 74px">
<td style="width: 23.499%; height: 74px">Titles</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 74px">System Node [+50% experience gain from all sources, Basic Permissions Unlocked]</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 74px">Title: Ether tapped [regain mana 1000% faster than normal] (DANGER! Ethereal beasts can sense you)</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 74px"> </td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 17px">
<td style="width: 23.499%; height: 17px">Stats?</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Strength: 8</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Speed: 6</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%; height: 17px">Stamina: 7</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 23.499%"> </td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Intelligence: 14</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Acuity: 10</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Wisdom: 9</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="width: 23.499%"> </td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Ether: 10</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Connection: 2</td>
<td style="width: 23.6348%">Luck: 7</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
"Share it, so I can see," the old witch said.
Mr. Smith frowned, "how," he thought of sharing it.
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 100%">Would you like to share your Status page with Nejab Yes/No?</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Yes, he thought.
"Oh, oooh, interesting," said the old witch, looking at his page, "Its organized a little differently than mine, but it makes sense," she stared. "What! You have 2 connection, how is that possible, oh System Node, that must be what that does, you have an extra connection to the system, that''s such a cheat," she huffed irritably.
"Accept the System Technician Class already, its a Hidden Unique Class connected with the System, that''s just ridiculous, do you know how many people would kill, to have a Class like that. Literally, don''t tell anyone you have it, but accept the damn thing," she poked him in the elbow.
"How do I do that," he asked.
"Just like, how you shared your status page, the System is very easy to use," she poked him harder.
He thought about the picking a Class.
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 98.4787%">
Class Options:??Rarity By Color: Common Uncommon Rare Epic Legendary Mythic UniqueLove this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!
Peon
Farmer
Witch''s Apprentice
Fool
System Traveler
System Technician (Hidden Class)
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
He looked at System Technician, considering it.
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 98.4787%">Would you like to accept Hidden Unique Class: System Technician Yes/No?</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
Yes
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 98.4787%">
Congratulations! You have accepted Hidden Unique Class: System Technician
By accepting this Class, you accept responsabilities for System Maintenance every 4.9 Billion years.
All queries for system help, and maintenance will be directed towards you, as you are currently the only System Technician.
7 Googolplex help requests and counting.....
Would you like to answer help requests at this time Yes/No?
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
"7 Googlplex requests, how long has it been since there was a technician, this is nuts," thought Mr. Smith, raising his eyebrows.
No, I don''t want to accept any requests.
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 98.4787%">You have gained the Class Skill: System Search</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%; height: 17px" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px">
<td style="width: 98.4787%; height: 17px">You have gained the Class Skill: Rename</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.8779%" border="1">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="width: 98.4787%">You have gained the Hidden Title: System Technician [All skills are class skills for the System Tech, System Tech''s gain +50% experience from all sources, System Technician is an Hidden additional Class, User must select a non-hidden Class in addition to System Tech, All extra experience beyond 100% goes toward System Tech.</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
At that moment, a giant fart split the air. It came not the from the backside of Mr. Smith, but the old witch. It smelled worse than adondoned fridge food, when its time for spring cleaning.
John Smith coughed. Stumbling up off his small stool, trying to breathe fresh air.
"Its all natural, no need to thank me," cackled the witch prettilly.
He stumbled out the front door, taking a deep breathe of the morning air, and right in front of him, there was a ginormous bear. It was standing on its hind legs, and it growled at Mr. Smith who was frozen, hand gripping the door for all he was worth.
"Hello," said the bear, and Mr. Smith promptly fainted strait away.
"Oh dear," said the bear sniffing Mr. Smith experimentally.
<hr>
Mr. Smith woke up, to a giant tongue licking his face. Nejab was staring down at him patiently.
He promptly shrieked like a little girl, "Oooooooooooooooh," as the massive teeth brushed his face, and drool slid down his cheek. He fainted dead away again.
"He''s not very good at this is he," said the bear to the old witch.
"Good at what precisely?" asked Nejab.
"This," gestured the bear with an enormous paw, "whatever this is," he said gesturing vaguely around.
"No, I shouldn''t think so," said the old witch, "He not from around here, and he really doesn''t understand."
The bear nodded knowingly, as if that made perfect sense to him.
<hr>
Mr. Smith floated in a blue nebula. He drifted through space. He felt warm and comfortable, like he was in the womb. Nothing to worry about, cares drifting away. He was vaguely aware of a massive shadow drifting towards him. An ominous waves of darkness aproaching him from afar. But he couldn''t care less.
The void beast sensed something, an energy source. It homed in on the vibrations in the ether, metaphorically drooling, if void beasts could drool that is. The taste of this energy was akin to that of the System. The System was like the tides in the ether. Not the water, but the waves. A force of nature coming and going. You could either ride the waves, or be devoured, and crushed in the depths of it formless ethereal embrace.
But, this energy although like the System, was small. A single node, a single bite, so tasty like a small treat, a lolipop to crunch down on a savor, mmmmmmmmm yum. The void beast hummed in pleasure, and the darkness spread around the small light drifting the the vast ether.
A sudden fear slowly woke John, in that vast nebula of swirling blue light, he had been having such a nice dream, slowly drifting in the warm light.
Darkness surrounded him, and he tried to scream, or move, but physics didn''t work the same way in this place. A sense of dread slowly filled him, and it felt like his mouth with filled with cotton. A single rune floated out from inside him and suddenly he was yanked back along a silver cord.
Mr. Smith sat up suddenly, eyes flying open, looking around for a dark dread that seemed to surround him. Terrifying, he breathed heavily of the cool morning air.
That was when he saw the great bear curled up on the ground not far away, and the old witch perched on top of it.
"No," he shouted, jumping to his feet.
"I refuse to take part in this nonsense," he screamed.
"TAKE ME BACK!" he shouted up into the heavens.
"IF YOU"RE UP THERE YOU BETTER TAKE ME BACK RIGHT! THIS! INSTANT!!!!" He got louder and louder and waited.
The wind blew throught he trees. The birds chirped, and Nejab look at him worriedly.
"Are you all right Mr. Smith," she said.
"No," he coghed. "No, I''m not alright, I don''t understand any of this," he told her.
"This is not the type of person I am. I don''t have adventures, I don''t like parties, and I Don''t believe in magic," he finished frowning furiously.
"This is not my story," he shouted up at heavens, "you''ve got the wrong man. TAKE ME BACK!" he screamed uselessly up into wherever, but wherever did not answer him.
Nejab climbed down from the bear, and tried to aproach him, but he backed away.
"No," he said, "don''t come closer," he shuffled backwards, fear apparent on his face.
"Be careful," said the old witch reaching out, but Mr. Smith tripped. Falling backwards with a yell, he unceremoniosly cracked his on a log, and sprawled unconsious for the third time that day.
"That''s got to be a record," said the bear.
Nejab grinned, bending down to examine John Smith, dimension traveler, contract lawyer, and ether tapped System techician, to see if he had any bumps of his poor little head. He did, quite a big one in fact.
<hr>
The void beast hummed in displeasure. Its prey had escaped somehow. It had it totally surrounded, and it had just dissapeard instantly. It was swiming around the area, trying in vain to locate the prey, when it got a ping. The energy vibration had reapeared drifting through a string of power, quite of ways away. It set off throught the edies and swirls of the ether, vibrating at the thought of that tasty morsel. It hummed silently to itself.