I''m going to tell you a story
It''s going to involve a field full of corn and some gross sounding noise
Like serious, you should go see your doctor sounds
Oh and maybe a drop of spacial realignment
Welcome to the Aurora Wasteland
Corn is in damn near anything that has sugar in it. You probably have a fair amount of corn inside of you right now. But not a lot of us spend any amount of time inside of corn. Or rather corn mazes. Corn is a regional crop and can''t be grown everywhere, so it may be more likely that you have a tall grass maze or maybe a wooden board wall maze. Both of these work fine, but corn is the one true way to create a truly awesome and terrifying maze. As was scientifically proven by an Aurora Wasteland study done in the early 2000s.
Southern Alberta is flat, and I mean flat like you can see the curve of the earth ahead of you on most roads. There isn''t a lot of tall crops grown there, mostly because of the wind, but also partly because of the limited access to water for crops. It''s not unheard of to see miles on end of empty stretches of land with nothing in them. All of that makes the Milk River corn maze something of a regional anomaly.
Just minutes from the Canadian American board the town of Milk River is microscopic, it''s hardly big enough to exist at all. One of the only draws in town is the Corn Maze, or rather it was. But I''m getting ahead of myself.
The owner of the milk river Corn maze Patrick, not his real name, bought the maze at auction when the previous owner died of a heart attack while, as town lore goes, partaking in a corn maze orgy one night.
Surprisingly corn maze orgy deaths are only ranked 3rd in Corn Maze deaths according to Aurora Wasteland data. Number two is murder driven out of maze frustration, and number one is chewing on gum while in the maze.
Anyways, let''s jump ahead to where things get interesting for Patrick. Because they most certainly do get interesting.
One night after a long day of normal maze chores, Patrick was awoken in bed at 3 in the morning by a sound he''d never heard before.
No, it wasn''t the sound of his wife''s staying he was right.
It was a low long and deep bellow, that stretch on for several seconds. The sound never repeated itself that night. Patrick went to bed and just assumed it was some poor animal dying out in the nearby fields.
It wasn''t in it happened again the next night that Patrick took notice. The sound stuck with him. From what he could tell, it was exactly the same noise from the night before, the same tone and length, and happened at exactly the same time. He wrote everything he had experienced down and fell back to sleep. Though it took some time, he couldn''t shake the feeling of the sound. And after grabbing a quick later night snack, he finally fell back asleep.
On the third night, Patrick was ready. He slept in his close and woke up at 2:30 am and waited on their porch with his shoes on. When the sound again filled the night at 3 am, Patrick did his best to determine the direction that the sound was coming from. And to his surprise, it was coming from out in the corn maze.
So he did what any totally san person would do, he sprinted out into the corn maze, with nothing more than a flashlight.
It should be noted here that Patrick and his wife are avid x-files fans. They''ve watched all the episodes and movies, they even have Mulder and sculpt bobbleheads. So the fact that Patrick ran out into the maze as he did should make you shake your head.
After wondering the maze for hours looking for the source of the sound, Patrick returned back to their house without finding anything.
Only that isn''t what happened. Upon his return to the house, Patrick''s wife asked why he was back so soon. He told her he''d been out there for hours. But all the clocks in their house begged to differ. Patrick has only been gone for eight minutes.
Flustered and at a loss, Patrick did what every x-file fan would do, and he assumed he''d been abducted by aliens.
Obviously, he wasn''t, visiting hours for aliens tourists to earth is 9-5 on Monday to Thursday, and Patrick was in the maze on a Friday so wasn''t aliens.
Finally, we''re at the point in the story where the Aurora Wasteland team shows up to save the day. Much to the dissatisfaction of Patrick, his wife searched the internet for help. She stumbled across the Aurora Wasteland, and after a quick post about their situation, an Aurora Wasteland team was at their place that night before dinner. At which point, Patrick couldn''t shut up about how great it was to have them there. He filled them in on everything his wife had left out of the post and showed them around the maze.
That night the Aurora Wasteland team set up a tent and listening equipment, as well as cameras covering all edges of the corn maze. Nothing would get in and out of the maze without them knowing, also the plan was to capture the sound and hopefully determine what it was.
After a few smores and a few more fireside sips of whiskey, the official Aurora Wasteland drink, by the way, the team members heard the sound at exactly 3 am. The sound matched what Patrick had described. And the Aurora Wasteland team was ecstatic. They checked the audio recording, it was crystal clear, and perfectly capture the strange noise. The video, on the other hand, captured nothing. They double-checked the equipment, and it''s recordings. Everything had worked perfectly. But nothing had come in or out of the maze. Whatever had made the sound was still inside the corn maze.A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Perplexed, the team posted the sound to the Aurora Wasteland site where is was quickly categorized as being the sound of a blue whale. Yes, the sound coming from inside of the corn maze was that of a blue whale.
At this point, the team had chalked this up as a hokes. Patrick had to be fucking with them. Somewhere out in the maze, he had a speaker buried and hidden. It wouldn''t be the first time someone had tried to get some paranormal fam by trying to fuck with an Aurora Wasteland team, and it certainly wouldn''t be the last.
So the team started packing up Thor gear when Patrick stopped them. He pleaded with them that he wasn''t faking it. That the sound wasn''t coming from him.
Against their better judgment, the team told Patrick they would stay for one more night, and that was it. He had one night only to prove this wasn''t a hoke.
The team again prepared their gear for the night. Both audio and video equipment were set up and waiting. At 2:30 am, Patrick met them just outside the corn maze entrance with a pile of ropes. He told them that he was going to be in the maze at 3 am with a rope tied around his waist that led back out of the maze. And he wanted a few of the Aurora Wasteland team members to join him.
By 2:45 am and with obvious complete disregard for just how likely it was Patrick was going to murder them in the maze, two Aurora Wasteland team members, along with Patrick, were ripped up and ready to go in.
The rest of the team stayed behind to monitor the equipment and to make sure the ropes remained attached at this end.
By 2:55 am, the team members were in the maze and waiting for the inevitable whale sound.
At 3 am, the sound returned.
By 3:08 am, the two Aurora Wasteland team members returned without Patrick.
Now I know what your saying. Patrick was obviously faking it, what is the Aurora Wasteland team even still doing there. How is this even an Aurora Wasteland case? Well, Hold on to your sexy whale tails things are about to get noticeably more exciting.
The two team members emerged from the cornfield frantic and babbling, and tugging on Patrick''s now obviously disconnected rope. They claimed that Patrick was trapped in the maze. And that they''d found something that wasn''t previously there. A ring of sand had been poured around an area of the maze. It hadn''t shown up until the whale sound, Patrick had just happened to have been on the inside of the circle. And that he seemed to be trapped on the inside, cut off from the two Aurora Wasteland team members who had been with him. despite only being a few feet apart, he was unable to see or hear them. The team members reported that they were unwilling to leave him there, so they spent hours just watching him expose the corn maze from their side of the circle. Until finally, he vanished further into the maze, then they could see and lost track of him.
The following day was spent trying to figure out what had happened the night before and what they were going to do about it. The idea of going into the maze after Patrick seemed absurd. But they couldn''t leave him there. They needed a way to get into the corn maze with some assurance that they were going to be able to get back out. They also needed a way to get some data about just what was happening on the other side. So they did what any sane Aurora Wasteland team would do. They called in backup.
Normally Aurora Wasteland teams don''t work together. There is an often childish in fighting that happens between teams, followed by a standard Aurora Wasteland dick measuring contest about their latest endeavors. But that had to all be put aside today, Patrick was missing, and they needed to save him.
The team they''d called in had a specialty in photography, most notable aerial photography from drones, and report RC robot data procurement.
That night multiple drones buzzed around the corn maze, filling the normal night air with a sense of anticipation. On the ground, just a few feet short of where the line of sand and appeared, two RC robots waited for 3 am.
At 2:58 am, one of the robots crossed over the to what would be considered inside the circle, the other stayed where it was on the outside.
At 3 am, the sound returned, as did the line of sand that created a circle inside the corn maze. The communication was lost with the robot inside the circle, and the one on the outside seemed to have massive communication lag. Neither robot provided much useful information until sometime later. The drones in the air, however, provided a different picture. They created images of Patrick inside the cornfield. One of the Aurora Wasteland team members had set one of the drones to captures pictures at 120 fps. Which normally provides slow-motion images. But not today. Today it caught pictures of Patrick buzzing around the maze-like hummingbird.
But that wasn''t all they caught. Directly in the middle of the circle, at the heart of the corn maze, was a whale. A blue whale to be precious. After reviewing the footage, the teams again had the drones flying overhead of the corn maze, but, just like Patrick, the whale was no wear to be seen.
At this point, the team did the only other thing a responsible Aurora Wasteland team could do, and they called in more backup. This time they called local police and the fire department. Who did not believe the Aurora Wasteland teams at all, and just about had them committed to a local phsicatic hospital. But Patrick''s wife knew one of the firefighters and convinced him to believe them. The firefighters bought them one night.
Their plan was to use the fire department''s ladder truck and drop an Aurora Wasteland team member down into the cornfield, then they''d used the ladder truck to pull them out. Only none of that was needed. At 2:59, the most senior Aurora Wasteland team member was dangling from the end of the ladder truck''s ladder right above the corn maze. At 3 am the whale sound again filled the night''s air. At 3:01, as they were about to lower the team member in, Patrick walked out of the corn maze.
He immediately apologized to everyone and said it was all a big misunderstanding. The fire department and local law enforcement reluctantly believed him, the Aurora Wasteland team did not.
And after everyone else was gone, the original Aurora Wasteland team pushed him for the real story.
Before he started his story, Patrick asked them how many days he''d been away. The team informed him that it had only been a few days. Patrick told them that from his perspective, he''d been in the maze for 201 years.
Record screech, stop the presses Patrick had to be lying is panties off. But he wasn''t.
He told them that there had been nothing else but himself and a newly dead blue whale in the corn maze. And that no matter which path he tried to take out of the maze, he always ended up back at the whale. After a few days, hunger set in, and Patrick tore off a piece of the whale and ate it. After the first year of trying different things to get out, he gave up and did little else than eat and sleep. He said he contemplated killing himself more than once, but didn''t have anything other than pieces of the whale and the corn maze itself, which he said didn''t have any of the corn stocks at the top, and the stocks themselves seemed to have been infected with some tiny bugs, making them in uneatable. After a while, he got the feeling that his entire existence was built to make him eat the stupid whale. So he did. Around year 50, he noticed he wasn''t aging, with no mirrors or any way of seeing himself, he couldn''t be certain. But around year 100, he was pretty certain.
Finally, after he ate the very last piece of the whale, he notice someone dangling from a fire truck ladder above the maze, and he simply walked out. Now here he was.
The Aurora Wasteland team had him checked out by serval doctors, none of them could find anything unusual about him. And other than never wanting to ever eat seafood again, Patrick was totally fine.
Well, other than that at 3 am every night, Patrick''s wife reports that Patrick gets a serious case of night farts that could melt the cornfield. Patrick denies these claims. To this day, he''s still running the corn maze.