Electra grants us permission to have the resulting conversation in a room that doesn’t contain her with characteristic good grace, and so Edward and I make our escape. This conversation being what it is, we don’t speak until we’re safely in a meeting room and Edward has drawn out privacy wards.


    “I shouldn’t even have to explain this,” he says.


    I grimace. I can’t let Edward make my decisions for me, and I won’t give up on the project if there’s a reasonable alternative. The question, of course, is whether Electra’s proposed alternative is remotely reasonable. I bite my lip to prevent myself apologising. This isn’t something I should be guilty about.


    “You’re considering giving Electra free license to experiment on you, knowing that you’ll get hurt and with only her word that it won’t be permanent.”


    “If she wanted to permanently hurt me, she could have done it a thousand times over by this point.”


    It’s his turn to grimace, but he can’t deny my point. “This is different, though. You have to know what she’s capable of. Stars, how do you even know she’d actually be trying to figure out what the anomaly rather than just – well, just torturing you for her own amusement?”


    This time I’m the one forced to concede; I can’t quite say the words she wouldn’t do that and believe them.


    “Are you really willing to subject yourself to torture for the sake of your project?”


    He’s right. He’s obviously right. So why am I hesitating to answer?


    If it is genuinely an experiment, if it gives results that could help explain the anomaly, that could be worth it on its own. If Electra is telling the truth, whatever happens won’t leave me with lasting trauma (well, not any more than the lasting trauma I already have).


    If I can trust Electra. That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Stars.


    But if she’s been manipulating us all along for some diabolical scheme, it doesn’t make any sense for it to just be this… not unless…


    Not unless whatever she has planned relies on me believing that a situation that is very obviously not okay is okay, to prevent me from having an active episode or entering an anomaly-fuelled flow state until it’s too late.


    That is a possibility I can’t rule out.


    “Tallulah. I am not letting you – “


    “What were the terms of our deal?”


    He sighs. “Please, Tallulah. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want worse to happen.”


    I can’t be angry at him when he says that. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up just because he wants me to.


    Though I could give up because it’s a sensible thing to do and the alternative is mad.


    Or… I’ve been thinking of this the wrong way, haven’t I? Black and white. Take Electra’s offer or don’t. It’s not quite that simple, is it?


    “You’ve had an idea, haven’t you?” Edward says. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like it?”


    “Because you’re not,” I say. “But if it goes wrong, you can say you told me so.”


    Edward laughs bitterly.


    “Two hours,” I say to Electra. “With Edward watching. If either of us asks to stop a particular experiment, that experiment stops. And you share your findings with us afterwards.”


    She narrows her eyes. “What makes you think the terms are negotiable?”


    I try not to let my doubt show. Or the fact I still don’t know what I’ll do if she turns my proposal down. “The fact you’re even offering me terms rather than either refusing to help me or experimenting on me without my consent.” That came out more sarcastically than it was meant to. I normally have better self-control than that, but she and Edward between them have made me too uncertain.


    Electra’s lips twitch in amusement. “Very well. Your terms are… difficult for me to work with, to say the least. I will accept Edward watching provided he agrees not to interfere – “


    “Do I not get a say in this?” Edward protests half-heartedly.


    “No,” says Electra. Mostly to see the look on his face, I’m pretty sure. “And if you intend to back out of experiments, how do I know I’ll even get any useful results?”


    “We’d only do that if one of us thought I was in genuine danger.”This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    “You won’t be,” says Electra.


    “And I’m supposed to just… believe that?”


    Electra blinks lazily. “That’s the core of the problem, isn’t it? My word is not sufficient for you. You don’t trust me.”


    The idea that she’s criticising me for that when the mistrust is directly caused by her own actions is absurd. I have to fight to not let that overwhelm me. “And you want me to?”


    She shrugs. “If I wanted to cause you harm, if I wanted to betray you, I would already have done so.”


    “So you need us alive,” Edward says. “That doesn’t mean you’re not using us.”


    “Tell me, then. In this hypothetical scenario where I am manipulating you for purposes of some scheme which does not serve your interests… what do I gain from this?”


    “Information about the anomaly,” says Edward at once.


    “I thought that would go without saying,” Electra responds, but Edward’s point is a good one. If we don’t trust Electra, then we don’t want her gaining that information. Even if she knows far too much already.


    “It is highly relevant,” Edward says.


    “So you refuse to let me gain this information?”


    “Yes,” says Edward, at the same time as I say “Not necessarily.”


    It’s probably one of the first few rules of negotiation to agree a position within your own faction first so as not to appear divided. Edward and I have not done a good job of that. We share a look of annoyance at both of us.


    The problem is that I’m not sure we can reach an agreement. Edward doesn’t care about the project the way I do. Oh, he agrees it’s a good thing to do in theory, and he’ll support me, but in his mind a choice between giving it up and giving Electra as much as she wants is no choice at all.


    Whereas for me… I’m not convinced it’s a good idea. Not at all. But it’s at least an idea worth considering, worth negotiating over. And in the end it’s my decision, not his, however much he protests.


    But, I realise, the consequences of his telling me not to do it and my doing it anyway… would that be a betrayal, in Edward’s mind? Quite possibly.


    “That’s why I want you to share the results with us as well,” I try.


    “That I can accept,” says Electra. “Provided that I do not decide it is too dangerous for you to know.” It’s a mark of how thoroughly she’s impressed the dangers of magic on us that even Edward doesn’t object to that. He’s still less than happy, though. “But if you still don’t like that, allow me to suggest an alternative. Tell your father.”


    I blink a few times. Edward does the same. Then he says “Thank you. I believe I shall.”


    “Edward, we agreed – you know the consequences of him finding out about the anomaly – “


    He ignores me and gets to his feet, crosses the room to the door. I realise that what I’m feeling is what he felt himself just a minute ago. With decisions like this that affect both of us so deeply, neither of us has the right to act without the other’s full agreement.


    Which means the project dies here.


    I’m just bringing myself to accept that when he pauses with his hand on the doorknob, turns, and says “Unless, of course, you agree to help Tallulah without any of this experimentation business.”


    Stars. I can’t work out if that’s madness or brilliance. Probably both.


    “One day,” says Electra, “I will learn to stop underestimating the pair of you. That day is not today, it seems. Very well. Tallulah, I don’t suppose you’ve had a chance to look through the papers? Finding the right case may be challenging, and it’s best if I have some influence over that.”


    Edward flashes me a triumphant grin. I blink a few times. What just happened? What was Edward thinking? What was Electra thinking? “I haven’t been able to look through the papers yet,” I manage to say, my voice mechanical. “But I have them here, if you’d like to start now.”


    I can’t work out how much of that interaction was real. Was Edward actually prepared to tell his father about the anomaly to spite Electra, or was he planning to blackmail Electra all along? Was Electra bluffing when she suggested Edward tell his father, and why did she concede immediately?


    Electra shakes her head. “I have other things to be working on.”


    “But I’m leaving tomorrow – “


    “We can make this your holiday project, then. I want you to have found a good lawyer who’s committed to the project and analysed the… three most likely cases to succeed? Yes. Bring me reports on those three by the day after you return.”


    Well. That should stop me getting bored over the holiday, at least.


    “And Edward, you know what I expect with regards to your own project?”


    “Yes,” he says, without removing his hand from the door.


    “Then may your Holy Days be blessed, and may you walk under starlit skies until we meet again.” The traditional well-wishing sounds strangely out of place coming from Electra of all people.


    “Likewise,” says Edward stiffly, and opens the door.


    I get to my feet. “May you walk under starlit skies until we meet again,” I say. I don’t know whether I mean it or not, but it feels like the right thing to say.


    We get out of the corridor before I can’t restrain myself any longer. “Edward. What did you just do?”


    “I saved you and your project. You’re welcome.”


    “Don’t – you can’t just – “


    “You were prepared to risk everything for it as well. We just have different ideas of which risks are acceptable.”


    I grit my teeth. “I shouldn’t have tried to go ahead with that idea without your agreement. I’m sorry.”


    Edward studies me for a second before deciding that my apology is genuine. “You’re forgiven. Just don’t do it again.”


    I can’t quite promise that. And I think he can tell from my silence. So I don’t dare ask him to not do it again either. Instead I ask “If Electra hadn’t agreed…”


    “I would have told him,” Edward says at once. “My initial intention was to do that regardless. When she suggested that… that’s how they suck you in, Tallulah. Each step seems so reasonable and small, and you could just come clean instead but that would make things harder… and then before you know it you’re doing unspeakable things for them.”


    That makes a disturbing amount of sense, actually, coming from the perspective of someone already guilty about keeping secrets from his father and very much not convinced that Electra has good intentions. “And the way to defeat that is to come clean as soon as you realise what’s happening?”


    “Precisely. It just occurred to me that instead I could get you what you want without its price, so…”


    “Thank you,” I say, finding to my surprise that I mean it. “Just… a bit of advance warning might be appreciated next time?”


    Edward laughs. “I’ll try. But the situation might not always allow it. In the meantime… we seem to have a free afternoon and evening. The last one we’ll have together for a while. What would you like to do with it?”


    It hits me then: I’m leaving tomorrow. Leaving the place that has somehow become the closest thing I have to a home. Leaving my friends. Leaving Edward.


    Stars. A mad part of me wonders if it’s too late to take him up on his offer of staying with him for Holy Days. But I couldn’t do that to my dad.


    “Can we just pretend to be normal people for once?” I ask.