Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Five


    Though she would be seeing Asher today, it was certainly not for as long as she would''ve liked – and had grown accustomed to.


    She sullenly readied herself for hockey, glad that, at the very least, this was her second last hockey game. Cedar Grove Girls'' College would surely crush them. Which, truthfully, would be quite a relief – though it would still leave a bad taste in her mouth to have lost.


    ''Maybe Asher will get through to the semi-finals,'' Lila thought as she pulled her shinpads on. ''Then, I''d get to sit in the stands and watch properly…''


    She grabbed her things and knocked on Clare''s door. Clare opened it with a yawn before nodding and gesturing for Lila to head downstairs. Clare joined her only a few moments later, and they buckled themselves into her car.


    "How was last night?" Lila asked as Clare slowly backed out of the driveway. Clare smiled, her tiredness seemingly melting away the instant Lila asked her.


    "Amazing. Not only did I not make any mistakes, but most of my fans tipped me extra. It was Gabriel''s birthday too, so he made an appearance at the end and tore up the dance floor. He''s probably nursing a terrible hangover now. We all sang happy birthday and got him a new set of chef knives. I think he cried, or at least almost did."


    Lila was pleased to hear that he had a good birthday, at least. "Sounds like you had fun."


    "Sure did. Man, coming back was a bit of a shock though." She looked at Lila with an excited grin which could only be paired with incoming gossip, which made Lila sit up. "You know that girl I was telling you about? The one from my camp that kept getting caught in guys'' tents, and then got suspended and left Forestglade College?"


    "Yeah?"


    "Her name''s Melody Miller. She started as a dancer while I was away. Her stage name is Candy Bliss."


    "Did you ask her about camp?"


    "Hell no I didn''t. She recognised me since we have each other on Facebook, but we hardly talked in school, let alone in the past few years since she left."


    "Aw," Lila pouted. "I thought you were going to tell me that she told you what happened."


    Clare rolled her eyes. "Definitely not. Coolisimo isn''t her first club, apparently. I helped her with a couple of things last night since she''s still getting her bearings and she seems alright."


    Lila pulled out her phone and searched through Clare''s Facebook friends list for Melody, her curiosity driving her hands.


    It was a public profile and she clicked on Melody''s profile picture. She was attractive enough, with sleek blonde hair and a wide, gleaming smile. Though, there was something uncanny about Melody that Lila couldn''t quite put her finger on.


    "She looks really familiar," Lila said, glancing at Clare.


    Clare laughed. "Yeah, I felt it too when I saw her in the dressing room. I honestly thought she was Marlene at first, which wouldn''t have been that weird since she helps out – except for the fact that she was in a bedazzled set of bra and micro-shorts."


    Now that Clare had articulated it, it was undeniable. "Are you sure she isn''t Marlene?"


    "Of course," Clare replied, shaking her head in disbelief. "Firstly, they sound nothing alike. Secondly, Marlene definitely looks older, and thirdly, Gabriel treated her like she was brand new."


    Lila flicked through a few more pictures of Melody before pocketing her phone again. She thought for a moment that Melody might be Marlene''s sister, but they didn''t share the same last name. Half-siblings, of course, existed, or Marlene might be married (unlikely, due to her living arrangements at Asher''s), among other things, but upon closer inspection, Lila considered there were enough differences to call it an unsettling coincidence. Besides, between Marlene''s job at the café, at Asher''s and as a streamer, there''d be no time to be a dancer at Gabriel''s nightclub, too.


    "If you find out whether the camp stuff actually happened, let me know, yeah?" Lila smirked, leaning back in her seat.


    "I''ll see if I can remember," Clare replied. "No guarantees though."


    Lila nodded, before a new question formed in her mind. "Are you nervous that she''ll tell people you know from school? Y''know, about your job?"


    "Nah," Clare said nonchalantly. "She''d only been at our school for a year before all that happened, and she wasn''t friends with anyone I was friends with. That''s why it took so long for me to find out about her camp shenanigans. Even if she does tell people from my grade what I do, it wouldn''t be anyone I actually care about. Besides… it''s not like Mum and Dad don''t know. I''d rather my Uni friends and school friends not know, but it won''t be the end of the world now."


    "Is it a relief? That our parents know?"


    "Of course. Well… it was hell when I was in limbo back there after Mum found out, and I''d rather not have that confrontation again, but… now that everything''s kinda settled, it''s freeing."


    "Even though you haven''t told Daniel?"


    "He''s too young. Besides, I don''t think I''d ever tell him – even when I''m 60."


    "I probably wouldn''t either."


    "Glad to know it''s not just me." Clare gave Lila a sideways glance. "I haven''t heard about any plans with Asher for this weekend."


    "That''s because there aren''t any," Lila lamented. "Not until that sleepover I mentioned."


    "Aw," Clare wrinkled her nose. "Poor you."


    "It gives me time to work on my own assignments and study without distractions."


    "I mean, yeah, but surely you could do that with him? Especially since you''re not banging."


    Lila paused. It was likely that if they did hang out together on weekends or after school, they''d be distracted with progressing their investigation rather than anything else. Or spend their time gaming. "He asked for the space. He said that… I''m his favourite distraction."


    "That''s both sweet and a bit rude."


    "Yeah, I guess… I''d feel really bad if he lost his Dux status, though. So I''m happy enough to spend the time by myself." Though she said that, she really didn''t feel that happy to be away from him. Especially not after the way he''d touched her on Wednesday. It had been so brief, thanks to Clare, that she really wanted him to do it again – just so she could fully appreciate how it felt. But she also felt far, far too shy to outright ask him to do so, or even simply address the fact that he''d done it in the first place.


    "I hope you both do well," Clare smiled. "He''s pretty responsible. I''m sure he knows that he''s your favourite distraction, too."


    Lila narrowed her eyes at Clare. "Is that based on the conversation you had with him on Wednesday?"


    Clare shrugged. "Might be. Might not be."


    Lila folded her arms across her chest. "One day, I''ll ask and you''ll slip up."


    Clare snorted. "You''re talking to me, Lila. Only reason you found out about my job was because you were in the club when I was on shift, and I''d already been there for, like, a year."


    Lila faced the window with a pout. Since neither Clare nor Asher wanted to be forthcoming with what happened, she''d have to settle for the scant level of detail she''d obtained. It didn''t make her any less curious, though – in fact, her curiosity was probably going to kill her soon enough.


    "Anyway," Clare cleared her throat, swiftly changing the topic, "have you talked to that girl again? The one who''s pregnant? You said you wanted my opinion and to give her advice on it, so I''m guessing you''ll tell her."


    "I haven''t yet," Lila sighed, leaning back into her seat. "I was thinking of talking to her after the game today, if you''re happy to wait for that?"


    "Yeah," Clare replied sincerely. "I want to know what she ends up choosing."


    "She might not have made a decision yet."


    "I know. But she''ll be closer to doing that after you talk to her again." Clare shuddered. "Definitely not an enviable situation."


    "Yeah."


    The two sisters didn''t speak much on the rest of the journey to Forestglade College. Clare did mention that their parents would be away until late since they were celebrating the end of one of their Dad''s cases. They tended to do that once big investigations wrapped up, and it made Lila wonder if today''s celebration was about the missing analgesics from Forestglade Private Hospital. Of course, there''d be no way for Clare to know, and Lila wasn''t about to ask her Dad. Especially since it meant that she could go rifling again once she got home.


    Clare parked and Lila jumped out, hockey stick in hand.


    "See you later," she said. Clare waved her off and Lila made her way to her hockey team, stretching her arms.


    She didn''t make it very far when a blur of green rushed to her, picking her up and spinning her around faster than she could process. She laughed, relaxing as she realised that it was Asher, who gave her another spin.


    "Good morning," she grinned as he gently set her down. "Someone seems excited."


    "Good morning," he grinned back. "Am I not supposed to be excited to see you?"


    "Well, I think I''d be upset if you were depressed to see me."


    "Noted." He glanced behind him before giving her a swift kiss on the cheek. "Good luck with your game. I''ll see you at half-time."


    "Good luck to you, too. See you."


    She watched him jog off to his teammates, some of whom whistled as he approached. Still smiling, she continued to her own team.


    Willow and Alice were warming up some distance away from the rest of the hockey girls, which seemed strategic.


    "Hey, Lila," Willow greeted once Lila approached. "Your boyfriend''s pretty enthusiastic."


    Lila laughed. "Yeah. I think he''s sad about the fact that we''re not hanging out as much."


    "You''re not? Why?" Willow asked, stretching her wrists.


    "Assignments and exams," Lila sighed.


    Alice gave Lila a sympathetic look. "I guess that''s a drawback when you''re dating a Dux."


    Lila looked at her for a moment before shrugging. "Yeah, but I''d feel guilty if I made him lose that title."


    "True," Willow conceded.


    They carried on their morning routine in relative silence until Lila gave Alice another glance. She looked pale and exhausted, but she wasn''t complaining.


    "Alice," Lila said quietly as she lowered herself into a lunge, "how''s it going with you?"


    Alice gave her the barest hint of a smile. "Same as Tuesday."


    "You haven''t made a decision?"


    Alice shook her head. "I''ve been distracted with trying to process… the murder."


    It would be pretty distracting. Lila cast a look around. No one seemed to be listening in, at least.


    "Have you talked to anyone about it since Tuesday?" Lila asked.


    "Definitely not. I… still feel stuck."


    "Alright," Lila murmured. "If you want, we could have a chat after the game."


    "I''ll need all the help I can get," Alice grimaced. "Like, seriously."


    "Alright," Lila replied with a hopefully comforting smile.


    Willow gave Alice an apologetic look. "I have to run off straight after the game. I''m going to the movies with Damian this afternoon."


    Alice waved her hand dismissively, though Lila could tell that she wanted Willow to stay behind. "Don''t worry about it. It''ll be easier for two of us to talk about something like this rather than three anyway."


    They finished their warm-up routine without much in the way of conversation. It seemed that both Lila and Willow were consciously giving Alice space to think.


    Then, Ms Wright gathered the girls and gave them a pep talk that really made it seem like it was their second-last game. Though Charlotte looked annoyed at this, no one commented and Ms Wright released them to set up for the match.


    The Cedar Grove Girls'' College team were much like their name – statuesque and imposing. They all seemed incredibly serious as they took their places opposite Lila''s team and, with a short blast from the referee''s whistle, the opposition immediately took possession of the ball. The speed and mesmerising grace with which they reached Lila momentarily stunned her. How had they come up here so fast?


    She barely had time to lower herself into a defensive stance, but she made it in time to fling the ball towards Willow, who passed it along to Alice. Alice''s movements were far more sluggish than usual, which she seemed to realise since she immediately whacked it to Charlotte.


    From there, Lila had no real concept of what happened as she reacted with pure instinct. She''d never shouted in a hockey match as much as she had that morning, though it was no avail. Half-time was signalled with Cedar Grove Girls'' in the lead by two points.


    "… monsters," she heard Charlotte grumble as Lila shuffled to her water bottle and took a swig. At least it didn''t seem like Charlotte was blaming Alice, who looked ready to take a nap.


    Lila gratefully accepted an orange slice from Ms Wright before standing where she could see Asher''s game. Lila wasn''t sure who they were versing, except that it was an all-boys school. They seemed formidable, but Asher''s team were even more so. Perhaps it was in an effort to prove themselves since the morphine ring had taken Zack from their team. Theo, at least, looked to be trying his best.


    Half-time was called for them as well and Asher made his way to her, out of breath yet smiling.


    "We''re doing well," he commented before taking a sip of water. "What about you guys?"


    Lila shook her head. "Getting smashed, but I''m not too fussed."


    "Really?"


    "Yeah, well… I''d like my Saturdays back. That way, we can hang out for longer."


    He smiled at her. "That''ll be nice. I''d almost forgotten what it was like."


    "What''re your plans for this weekend?"


    His expression changed to one of guilt. "Finishing up some assignments then studying for exams. Not very thrilling, and… I''m really sorry I can''t-"


    "Don''t be," she said firmly. "It''s for a legitimate reason, and I''ll be studying as well. I was just curious."


    "I''ll make it up to you," he insisted.


    "I mean, if our studies go well, there''s no need for that," she laughed.


    Instead of laughing with her, he looked incredibly serious. "I will," he said stubbornly.


    "It sounds like a threat," she joked.


    At this, he cracked a small smile. "I hope not."


    Then, his eyes rested on a spot behind Lila.


    "I''m guessing you haven''t talked to Alice just yet?" he asked quietly, looking back down at Lila.


    "Not properly. I''ll be doing that after the game."


    "Let me know how it goes, yeah?"


    "I will. Probably not this weekend, since you''ll be busy."


    He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Probably for the best. I appreciate it."


    Lila glanced behind her and saw that her teammates were preparing to start the second half. "Looks like I better go," she said reluctantly.


    Asher nodded and bent low to her before stopping short of a kiss. "Oops. Better not do that, sorry. See you after the game. Good luck."


    "Good luck," she said with a wave. He waved back before jogging over to his team.


    Lila placed her mouthguard back in and twisted her hockey stick between her hands, ready to at least try in earnest to defend.


    Just as the first half had been, Lila had no time to think about tactics besides defend, defend and defend. It was an absolute whirlwind of activity and shouting that ultimately led to their defeat. She was absolutely knackered by the time they had their sportsmanship handshakes with the smug-looking Cedar Grove Girls'' team. Even worse was the fact that Lila knew they would have to face them again next week – but with a six-nil score, Lila''s team may as well forfeit. There was no way they were in the semi-finals.


    Ms Wright gave them a pep talk that was geared far more in the direction of fun than winning, which seemed to only stoke Charlotte''s ire at having lost.


    "It''s been a big week," Ms Wright reminded them after waiting for Charlotte to settle down again. "In so many ways. You girls did well."


    "We didn''t even get a point-"


    "Charlotte, the final score could have been far worse," Ms Wright said sternly. "See you all next week."


    The reminder that it had been ''a big week'' seemed to loom overhead of the team as they slowly slinked off the field, not even a single one chatting.


    "Did you still want to talk?" Alice asked from behind Lila in a low voice, jolting her from her thoughts. She glanced at Alice, seeing that she seemed over the day already.


    "Yeah. Uh, if it''s okay though, can I say bye to Asher?"


    "How long does it take for the boys to wrap up soccer?"


    "A few minutes."


    "I''ll head to the bathroom then. I think… my car''s probably the best spot to talk."


    Lila nodded, watching Alice wander over to the bathroom before turning back to the soccer game. To Lila, it looked like Forestglade College was still in the lead for soccer. Asher was pacing in his goal, the ball far from him at the other end. There was also lots of shouting during this match, but unlike the panicked shouting that Lila''s team had engaged in, the boys seemed to be on the verge of bursting with excitement.


    She continued to observe the game from the sidelines, her mind travelling elsewhere. She was glad, really, that Willow had already left to go get ready for her cinema date. It meant that she could tell Alice exactly where Jason''s Mum was – at least, where Lila last knew she was – without other people knowing.


    Her musings were cut short by the final blast of the referee''s whistle. With the amount of leaping the Forestglade College soccer team was doing, Lila could tell that they had won.


    She grinned as the boys carried on with their celebratory shenanigans, which seemed to be increasing with ridiculousness at the end of each game. Once the sportsmanship handshakes had all been dealt with, instead of fully participating in more post-game whoops with his teammates, Asher jogged over to her with a beam, taking his gloves off as he did so.


    "We won," he said happily.


    "I think I can tell," she replied, gesturing at Isaac, who was attempting to do a handstand to the whistling of his teammates behind Asher. Asher glanced behind him before snorting.


    "Isaac''s always much better at cartwheels," he commented, his eyes twinkling with amusement. With impeccable timing, Isaac flopped onto the ground, a cacophony of disappointed groans following his defeat.


    "Surely a handstand is much easier than a cartwheel," Lila replied.


    "You''d think so, but I think he prefers a cartwheel because of the momentum," Asher responded. Then, he looked at Lila with a touch more seriousness. "I''m guessing you''ve got to go?"


    "Yeah," she said softly. "We''ll be talking in her car."


    "Well…" he stepped forwards, grazing her cheek with the back of his hand, "let me walk you to the carpark, at least."


    "And if I were to say no?" she asked mischievously.


    "Then I''d just follow you at a reasonable distance anyway."


    "Sounds like something I''m used to."


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    He snorted again before he was bumped away from Lila by Isaac''s hip.


    "One of these days I''m going to shotput you into outer space," Asher frowned, rubbing where Isaac''s hip connected with him.


    "Can I have an astronaut suit for the journey?" Isaac asked with a lazy grin.


    "Sure. Let me just call NASA. I''m sure they''ll lend me one," Asher replied sarcastically. A beat passed before the three of them descended into guffaws, the imagery of Isaac flying off into space by Asher''s hands too funny for Lila not to react.


    "Congrats on winning, though," Lila said as the trio began to walk towards the carpark.


    "Thanks. We''ve been on quite the streak," Isaac said, placing his hands behind his head. "I was kinda worried we''d bomb after Zack got expelled, and then the whole Jason thing, but it seems like everyone was on the same page."


    "Are your teammates affected by it all?" Lila asked curiously. "It''s been one heck of a week."


    "There''s a nervous energy, for sure," Isaac nodded. "But otherwise, it seems like it''s just made everyone more determined to beat ''em into the ground."


    Lila glanced at Asher who nodded. "That''s my impression, too," he confirmed.


    "What about your team?" Isaac asked. "You guys win?"


    "Definitely not. But Cedar Grove Girls'' have always been good. On par with St Peters. Finals usually end up with them facing off against each other."


    "Ah. Has your team been doing okay, after the news?" Isaac questioned.


    Lila paused, exchanging another glance with Asher. "… Mostly," she settled on saying.


    They''d crested the hill now and Isaac suddenly patted his pockets wildly before pulling out his phone.


    "Gotta go. Maccas is calling my name," he said to Asher and Lila. He still seemed to be in a good mood as he virtually skipped off towards his Mum''s car and clambered in with a, "HELLO!"


    "I mean, his commitment to work nowadays is admirable," Asher smirked, watching Isaac''s Mum pull away from the carpark. "Honestly, I''d thought he''d quit as soon as he paid me back. Seems like he''ll just keep working, though."


    "Has he paid you back?"


    "Nah, but he''d be close by now. I''ve told him he can slow it down, which he appreciated. He said he''s saving up for some driving lessons so he can get his Ps, so it''s not like all his work is for me."


    "Fair enough. Life sure does get expensive."


    Asher gave her a sideways look. "If you need money-"


    "I don''t," Lila said shortly. "Save your money."


    "I''ve got too much."


    "Sounds like you''re suffering from success."


    He frowned. "Seriously, if you need something-"


    "Asher, stop fretting. I''m good. I''ve got no expenses, so I''ve got no money issues."


    He continued to look at her doubtfully before sighing. "Alright, alright. Looks like Marlene''s just come back. So… I''ll see you on Monday."


    Lila couldn''t help the sadness flickering across her face, but she tried to mask it with a smile. "See you on Monday, Asher."


    He hesitated before cupping her face in his hand. He ran his thumb across her cheek and swiftly bent low, kissing her. She pulled herself closer to him with his shirt, kissing him back with a touch more force than she thought he could handle. Had their kiss on Wednesday been a fluke?


    To her delight, instead of pulling away, he seemed to lean into it, moving his hand to the back of her head for a moment. She was starting to feel dizzy, so she took a step back, inhaling deeply.


    He smiled at her, his face a light pink. "See you on Monday, Lila."


    "See you," she murmured, touching the ''A'' under her sports polo. He touched where his ''L'' would be and released it from under his sports shirt before giving her a final wave. She smiled, pleased to see that the ''L'' gleamed nicely in the sunlight.


    Lila watched him climb into Marlene''s car and they promptly drove off, leaving the carpark relatively empty. She looked around and saw Clare waggling her eyebrows at her from the confines of her car a few spaces away. She rolled her eyes at her sister before heading towards Alice''s car.


    Alice looked like she was spacing out in the driver''s seat as Lila opened the passenger door. She jumped and took a deep breath before smiling at Lila.


    "Hey."


    "Hey," Lila replied, closing the door behind her. There was an awkward pause, with Lila slowly realising that she hadn''t really spoken to Alice that much without Willow.


    "I know I asked this before but how are you really?" Lila asked quietly, looking over at the carpark.


    "… Shit." Alice leaned back, placing her head on the headrest. "Every day, I wake up and I wonder what the fuck I''m going to do."


    Lila hadn''t heard Alice swear quite so much at once, but at the same time, Alice was really going through a lot. "I can imagine."


    There was silence once more. At least Alice wasn''t crying, but she looked relatively lifeless.


    "I… saw you leave the assembly yesterday," Lila commented, her voice low. Alice winced.


    "Yeah. I… I thought I should at least send a picture in for the assembly, given everything, but I didn''t realise it would be so massive. It reminded me all at once that he was gone… except for whoever this is." Alice placed a hand gently on her stomach, her eyes shining for a brief second. "Lila, I don''t know what I''m going to do. I… I''m not strong enough for this. Couldn''t someone else decide for me? Why do I have to do it?"


    Lila paused. "You said you haven''t talked to anyone else about it… so I''m guessing that includes your parents?"


    Alice nodded. "Yeah. Because he''s passed away, my parents… have been really supportive, so they haven''t pressed me for much. They knew he was in my grade and all that, and had seen him around on campus. They might think we were friends or something at this point ''cause I''ve just been hiding in my room since I found out, except for going to school. School… helps, until I pass by his friends or something but that''s pretty rare."


    "Did you see Willow on the public holiday?"


    "I wanted to, but I couldn''t get out of bed. I was just so emotionally drained." She glanced at Lila, giving her a small smile. "I… don''t really know why I''m spilling all this to you."


    "I have that effect on people."


    Alice smiled again. "I think it''s your voice. It''s so… calm. Like… it''s a hug when you talk."


    Lila had never heard that description before. Perhaps she should ask Asher what he thought on that front.


    "And it seems like you listen, in any case. A-Anyway," Alice cleared her throat, evidently trying to move on, "I keep thinking that it''s all some big prank, you know. That he''ll turn up, say it was all just a horrible nightmare, and that we''ll figure something out. I''m just so scared that any decision is the wrong one, especially since I don''t know what he would''ve wanted."


    Lila reached out and grasped her hands, surprised with how ice-cold they were.


    "I hope you don''t mind but… I talked to my sister about it. She''s a few years older and I didn''t name names – except that she knows who the father is, since… well, it''s all so heavy," Lila said gently. She squeezed Alice''s hands as she continued. "My sister''s had casual flings in the past, and she''s studying psychology at Uni, so I thought she might have something good to say. She usually does."


    Alice sighed. "I wish I had a big sister to talk to about this."


    "You can borrow mine if you want," Lila smiled, "I don''t think she''d mind."


    Alice gave a quiet chuckle but didn''t say anything.


    "Essentially… she said a bunch of stuff, but one of them was that you''re not murdering Jason ''again'' by using your free will and, I guess, protecting yourself by going through with an abortion. Especially since you can''t hurt a dead person''s feelings. Keeping the baby just because of that might not be a good idea."


    Alice flinched.


    Lila powered on. "But… she also said that she''d keep the pregnancy going at the very least, and she understands where you''re coming from. Depending on what the circumstances are, the option could be open to letting his parents adopt the baby since they lost Jason. And, at the very least, you''ll be graduating from school soon, which is a bit easier than also needing to focus on school while raising a baby, if you decide to raise it. Raising it would be hard, but you might have enough resources around you to make it through okay. There''ll be sacrifices, though – like not going to parties and nightclubs as much, but some people actually don''t mind missing out because they feel fulfilled raising a baby." Lila paused, taking in Alice''s thoughtful expression.


    "I think might be from her psychology studies, but she said that kids pick up on negativity and absorb it. If… you feel like you''re going to resent Jason, or the baby, for changing your life so drastically, it''ll feed into the baby. It''s… hard when you''re a single parent, but being unwanted by your only parent is terrible, too. If you decide to keep and raise it just because Jason''s no longer here, then you might fall into resentment, but… if you really do want to do this, to be a parent, then it should be okay, according to my sister."


    Alice remained quiet as she picked at her nails, her emotions rather guarded.


    "In regards to… what to tell his kid, if you do raise them… about how he died – she recommended that being honest, but age-appropriate, is the best way to go about it. At first, saying he passed away, then adding more details as they grow up – so you''re not outright lying, but also not giving them nightmares far too early. I guess… she means that the kid has a right to know what happened to their father. Importantly, though, having support around the kid when you do give more details is crucial. So, like, child psychologists or counsellors and also family who knows them and knows how to comfort them."


    Lila sighed, taking another moment for Alice to absorb what was being said. It was a bit awkward, talking to herself, but she was now getting to the last point that Clare had raised. It''d be over soon and she could leave Alice to her thoughts.


    "My sister also said that you should tell his parents if you''re keeping the pregnancy going since it might bring them some comfort. The baby is their own person, but they may share enough traits with Jason to be a positive reminder, and that he''s not entirely lost. With that… I thought that you might want to talk to them before making a decision – or at least making a decision to raise the baby, or give the baby to them for adoption." Lila pressed her lips together, suddenly feeling nervous to divulge further details.


    "… Thanks, Lila," Alice said, leaning her head against the headrest again. "It''s an idea, at least. Having a… fail safe, where… maybe his parents could adopt the baby if it''s too much for me. My parents… might be an option, but part of the reason why I haven''t told them still is because they''re super Christian. Like, ''no sex before marriage'' type of Christian. I''d… really never intended to get pregnant. But it''d be hard to hide a pregnancy while still living with them. I also looked into how much abortions cost and they''re, like, $500, plus there''s ultrasounds and Doctor''s appointments and there''s just no way for me to get that kind of money without them knowing… so I''ll have to tell them at some point."


    "If they''re a ''no sex before marriage'' kind of family, would that also mean that they''re against abortions?"


    "… Generally, yeah. But… I''ve never been in this situation before, so… they might change their minds and help me get one if I want it. Or they''ll kick me out." Alice''s voice broke at the end of her sentence and Lila reached out to rub Alice''s arm comfortingly. She smiled at Lila before sighing.


    "Why did I have to do it in the first place?" Alice asked quietly. "This wasn''t what I wanted when I first hit him up to get rid of my FOMO. I… I regret it so much. I regret… having to deal with this. And I hear what you''re saying, about not resenting the baby if I decide to keep it, and I don''t know whether I''m feeling resentful because of the fact that I''m alone in making a decision so… heavy. I''m not smart. I can''t make a good decision. Sometimes, I wish I actually had liked him more than just for casual sex. Then… maybe I''d have an easier time making a decision."


    Alice hesitated before adding, "I… know I have to take responsibility for my actions. And I hate myself for thinking this but… I hate that he got to escape his responsibility. The way he died was so awful, but leaving me behind like this… feels just as awful to me. Not that he owes me anything, but… he owes this baby. Owed, I guess."


    Lila hesitated for a few moments, letting Alice''s words sink in. Then, she softly said, "I hardly knew him, and I''m not going to pretend I did, but he kinda gave me a playboy impression. He… also seemed really irresponsible. Definitely not someone who''d raise a kid at 17. So… I feel like he would''ve wanted you to get an abortion or at the very least would''ve decided to not be involved anyway."


    Alice sighed again. "From what I knew of him, that''d be spot on. But, like I said before, it''s not like I can ask him if he''s okay with me… killing the only part of him that''s living on. Even if I''m not, the baby''s innocent through all of this. I''ve grown up with the idea that children are blessings but despite that… I keep hesitating and flip-flopping. If I go all the way to the end, will I feel like it was a blessing? Was… his baby given to me to safeguard because he''s gone? Is being a mother now what I''m supposed to be doing? Or is this supposed to test me and how much I want to protect my future? I mean, single Mums aren''t exactly desirable either, so I might not even find love. So then should I have an abortion so that I can live my life how other 17-year-olds are supposed to? This… agony I have over it all makes it feel like a curse."


    Alice grimaced again, seeming on the verge of crying before she placed her head in her hands as if to combat a headache. "I don''t even know what his parents'' names are. Your idea, about talking to them first, is a good one, I think. I''m sure they''d want me to keep the baby or at least the pregnancy, since Jason''s dead, but if I do end up adopting the baby out, I want to make sure his parents are good people. He wasn''t, not really, but his parents might be."


    ''Negative on that front,'' Lila thought. But it wasn''t her place to tell Alice that. Besides, what Alice might be looking for would be more about character rather than criminality, though they did tend to go together as a pair.


    Now, though, Lila had to figure out a way to tell Alice what she knew without sounding suspicious as all hell. She hoped that Alice wasn''t curious-minded like she was – otherwise, she''d have a really hard time managing.


    "I… might have some idea about how to contact them," she said quietly, looking out of the window and towards Clare''s car.


    "You do?"


    Lila pursed her lips. "… Jason was hanging around my brother. I thought it was suspicious, so I went snooping a bit. I guess you could call it being protective, but my brother''s in Grade 9 and it just felt weird. So, basically, I found out his parents are divorced, and his Dad is Morris Whitley. His Mum is Evelyn Whitley but I think she goes by Evelyn Dupont as well. At least, she calls herself Eve Dupont on Facebook."


    Alice wildly grabbed for her phone before Lila placed a hand over it.


    "The… thing is. With Evelyn. She''s… in jail, at the moment. Well, custody – over at the Forestglade Police Station, from what I last heard. So… I doubt she has access to Facebook."


    Alice stared at Lila like she''d announced she was an alien. "What?"


    Lila exhaled deeply, avoiding Alice''s gaze. "Yeah. Well, that''s what I found out, w-when I went snooping. I… don''t know what it''s for, but she''s at least not going anywhere at the moment. Because it''s not in the news or anything, I think it should be kept on the down-low that she''s in custody. Not that you''d have a reason to tell people about where she is, but it''s already a hard time for the family in general right now without that getting out. A-Anyway, I don''t know how to visit people in those situations, but I doubt his parents would be able to find message requests easily on Messenger either – and… it''s pretty time-sensitive, isn''t it? So… going to see them – o-or at least Evelyn – in person is probably better."


    Alice looked down at her phone. "Yeah… it is time-sensitive." Then, she looked at Lila. "Do you reckon I could visit now? At least, if I visit his Mum, she can give me his Dad''s phone number or something."


    "Now? I… have no idea."


    Alice bit her lower lip before slowly putting her phone back. "I''ll… just go to the police station and see. I''ve got nothing to lose if they turn me away ''cause it''s not visiting hours. And… they might give me some sympathy if I tell them I''ve got to talk to her about something important."


    "Are you leaning towards a particular decision?"


    Alice glanced at Lila, her expression incredibly serious. "Not fully, but… but I think I might end up keeping the pregnancy for now at least." Then, she buried her face in her hands. "Fuck. I don''t know. It''s so terrifying, the idea of being pregnant. I mean, I am, but, like, there''s a human in there. It''s so long, too. Nine months?" She whimpered for a moment before falling entirely silent, her head still in her hands.


    "Personally… I know that you don''t think you''re capable of making good decisions, but I don''t think any of the decisions you could make here are inherently bad. It''s because you''re so distressed by it that I think… whatever you decide, you''ll have thought it through completely. There''s no way it could be the wrong one if you look at it from all angles."


    Alice raised her head, her eyes wide like an owl''s and entirely full of shock and disbelief. She was quiet until her lower lip trembled. "Really?"


    Lila smiled. "Really. It''s easier said than done, but I think you should trust yourself. The way that you''re thinking about it all already tells me that you care about making the right decision. Ultimately, the right decision here is whatever resonates with you. It''s your life and your future that you''re thinking about. No matter what happens, it will affect you – so that''s who you need to look out for the most right now. As harsh as it sounds, it might even be easier now that Jason''s passed away since you don''t need to worry about how it''ll affect his life and future."


    Alice gave Lila a feeble smile. "I''m… really glad to hear that you think that I''ll make the right decision. I''m still not convinced, but to hear that helped even just a little bit."


    "I''m glad to hear that too."


    They were silent for a few more moments. Lila didn''t have anything else to say, so she eventually turned to Alice.


    "Good luck," she said soothingly. "I''ve got to go, but I hope that I at least helped. Well, that my sister helped."


    "You really did," Alice replied, her smile seeming more sincere than before. "Thanks for asking her for me. I… I was really stuck, and I didn''t want to get into it with anyone else. To be honest, I hardly want to get into it with Willow even though she''s my best friend. It''s strange, but… sometimes, for things like this, talking to someone who''s not so close just feels easier… Anyway, I''ll see you on Tuesday."


    "See you then."


    Lila left Alice''s car and headed to Clare''s, feeling far more at ease now that she''d relayed her sister''s perspective to Alice. Technically, since Asher agreed with Clare''s views, it was also coming from him but she didn''t want to tell Alice that.


    Once Lila buckled herself in, she saw Alice give her a small wave before she drove out of the carpark at a speed that was slightly too fast. With that, it was clear to Lila that Alice was going to the police station now, as she said.


    "So… how''d it go?" Clare asked, turning the car on.


    "Well, I think," Lila replied quietly. "She''s still a bit on the fence, but it seems like she''s leaning towards keeping the pregnancy going for now. Her parents are pretty religious, so she''s still hesitant to tell them. But… I think she''s going to talk to Jason''s Mum now."


    "I''m surprised she knows his Mum''s details."


    Lila held her tongue, opting for just a shrug.


    "Did she find it helpful at least?"


    "Yeah. She said she hadn''t talked to anyone else about it, and that she also felt like she couldn''t talk to her best friend about it. I guess sometimes when you''re too close, you get afraid that their opinion of you might change, or she knew that her best friend wouldn''t really have advice for her. Her best friend''s been in a relationship since Grade 9 and they lost their virginity to each other. I mean, I don''t get the idea of casual sex either, so I''m glad you had something to offer from that perspective. I think she really appreciated that."


    "Glad to be of service. Keep me updated, yeah?"


    "Of course."


    The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, with Lila considering what Alice had said. None of it was enviable, though she wondered if Alice was religious herself. She hadn''t claimed it when talking about her parents, but there was something in the rhetorical, unanswerable questions she had that made Lila think that perhaps she was.


    Eventually, they arrived home, with Lila heading straight upstairs for a shower. When she emerged in her house clothes, Clare looked to be on the way out, complete with a handbag, makeup and a bodycon dress ensemble.


    "Oh," Clare said, looking at Lila for a moment. "I forgot to mention that I''m heading over to Alex''s before my shift tonight. I''ll see you tomorrow, yeah?"


    "I mean, yeah," Lila replied with a slight frown. "What time are Mum and Dad coming home?"


    Clare shrugged. "Whenever they want. You know how long it usually takes for them to celebrate. After dinner?"


    "Alright. Just asking, since it''ll just be Daniel and me. Wanted to know what to do about food."


    Clare pulled out a $50 note from her handbag. "Get whatever."


    "Thanks."


    Clare nodded before heading downstairs. Lila watched her go before quietly entering her room. So… most of the family was out, and Daniel would be stuck to the confines of his room, probably playing Fortnite and unlocking whatever else it was that she didn''t care to hear about. The conditions were perfect.


    ''Time to see what else Dad added after Jason''s murder…'' Lila thought, heading straight to her blazer in which her lockpicking kit sat.


    It was funny to think that, before this year, Lila would have never dared break into her Dad''s filing cabinets. Now, it seemed like the only logical thing to do.


    She tried not to pay it too much mind as she slipped into the home office, double-checking along the way that no one was wandering around.


    It had yet again been rearranged in here. She''d hoped that she could snoop through all the bags that she''d seen last time but was disappointed to find they had all disappeared. All of her Dad''s convention material had also disappeared but Lila knew that it was fast approaching – perhaps he''d moved it all to his actual office.


    With pursed lips, she approached the last filing cabinet. She unzipped her kit, a small smile on her face as she traced the engraving alongside one of the picks. It felt almost as if Asher was with her.


    Since it wasn''t exactly like his set, it took her a moment to figure out which combination of tools she should use. But, once she did, it was open in barely ten seconds.


    She ran her thumb along the alphabetic dividers, her heart racing. What would the file say now? Would there be mention of Piper''s murder, given the similarities? Would the rest of the interviews with the Grade 12s be in there? In particular, Lila was curious about what Livi would have said to the Police about her involvement in the morphine ring…


    With bated breath, she opened the ''W'' section.


    She frowned.


    There was WAGNER – CMS 2122046; but there were no other Wagner files. She''d seen it just the other day – where was it? Had her Dad taken it? Why?


    Lila pulled out the WAGNER – CMS 2122046 file, double-checking that it wasn''t the one for Asher''s Dad. Nope – Helen Wagner.


    Lila thumbed through it quickly; her Dad had managed to find the missing husband. The suspected infidelity turned out to be true and the file was long closed. So… it wasn''t as though her Dad had taken the other file out because it was closed. Had he accidentally put it somewhere else?


    Lila rifled through the rest of the filing cabinet. Everything was in order – as it should be. Her Dad''s meticulous nature seemed to still be intact.


    She slowly closed and locked the filing cabinet with a contemplative frown. Where was it?


    Lila unlocked the other cabinets, just in case it had made its way into one of those. Nothing.


    Nothing?


    His desk was full of papers, so she moved there to rifle through them. None of it was relevant to the Forestglade Private Hospital investigation, or the morphine ring. It was as though the investigation hadn''t ever existed at all.


    The files in her Dad''s filing cabinets here were not the main files he worked from, she knew that much. Those were stored in his actual office. The ones in the house were ones that he''d work on whilst at home, and, once they were done, they tended to stay and languish.


    So… why had this file gone? As far as she knew, clients weren''t ever given the full file once the investigation was complete – just a report and relevant evidence. So, it probably wasn''t given to Ivaan either.


    ''Damn,'' Lila thought, clenching her teeth in frustration. She''d been so curious about what her Dad''s investigation had to say about the rest of the Grade 12s or Jason''s murder or, perhaps, something about the room beneath the morgue.


    Her Dad must''ve taken it back with him when he took the materials for the convention. She still didn''t know why, nor could she ask him since she shouldn''t even know that the file had been in this house in the first place. She was glad that she''d taken pictures of what had been in the file at least, now that she knew it was no longer at home, bummer that it was.


    ''Well, now how am I supposed to concentrate on studying?''


    Lila sighed before double-checking that the room was in the same state as when she''d entered. She wanted to call Asher right away and tell him that the file was missing, but she didn''t want to disrupt him even further. If she did, then he might not have time for her over the upcoming long weekend, since it was just before exam block…


    Reluctantly, Lila headed back upstairs and settled in for a tiresome afternoon of study. It was hindered by the lack of answers about the missing file, but she supposed she was successful enough to call it a day when dinner rolled around.


    Her parents still weren''t home, so she organised some takeaway for herself and Daniel. He seemed slightly awkward, which Lila attributed to their conversation about Clare''s boyfriend, so she didn''t push him to talk to her. Not that she could really, with how quickly he''d scarpered away upstairs with his food once it''d been delivered.


    Now that she was back in her room after finishing her dinner, she wondered if she should message Asher at least. Just for a small while…


    She flopped onto her bed, staring at her phone. She wanted to talk to him, even without mentioning the missing case file – but would she be disturbing his studies? If she did, and he slipped behind, she wasn''t sure she''d be able to forgive herself. He''d worked so hard, despite everything that had happened over the course of this year, to maintain his grades.


    She sighed, turning her phone screen off and letting it rest on her chest. It felt like she shouldn''t miss him nearly as much as she did right now-


    Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.


    Lila picked up her phone before sitting bolt upright. It was a call from Asher.


    "H-Hey," she said after picking up the call, curling a strand of hair around her finger.


    "Hey," he replied, his voice immediately easing her.


    She shuffled backwards, leaning on some pillows. "What''s up?"


    "Nothing. Just… missing you."


    She smiled. "I was just thinking about calling or messaging you, but I didn''t know if it was okay."


    "I''ll always pick up the phone for you."


    "I know – but is that a good thing? I mean, you''ve got your studies."


    "Sure, but I told you before that breaks are just as important. Need some balance and all that."


    "But I feel like I distract you too much."


    "Maybe if you were here in front of me."


    Lila felt her heart skip, her mind racing to conclusions she knew were still impossible for the moment. But, since they were on the phone, she was feeling surprisingly brazen.


    "Why? What would you do?" she asked, her voice low with anticipation.


    She heard his breath halt in his throat.


    "U-Uh, kiss," he replied after a moment, his voice breaking.


    She pursed her lips. "Nothing else?"


    "Lila, I feel like you''re teasing me."


    "Teasing you? I''m just curious."


    He sighed. "Lila…"


    "Yes?"


    "If you were with me now, I might continue what I started in your room the other day."


    She almost thought that he''d forgotten since they hadn''t addressed it.


    "Continue what?" she asked, trying to sound innocent.


    He paused. "Are you asking me to spell it out for you?"


    "Spell what out?"


    "Lila – I…" he sounded flustered but powered on. "I''d… touch you until I heard my fill of the sounds you make when I do."


    ''Oh my God,'' Lila thought, feeling a blush rise on her cheeks. He''d never said anything like that before, and it was making her feel a certain type of way that she didn''t want to express.


    "S-Sorry," he stammered. "Was that too much?"


    "Not at all," Lila squeaked, compulsively twirling her hair even more. "I, uh, just wanted to know… uh-" her stumbling was embarrassing, which only made her stumble more. She swallowed, trying to collect herself. "Uh… whether… you like them?"


    There was an even longer pause than before. "Like… what?"


    "M-My sounds." ''And my boobs,'' she added to herself. No way would she ask about that – not now that her brain had melted.


    "Of course I do. I like them a little too much." He sounded so confident that it took her by surprise.


    "Really?"


    "Of course."


    "Then… will you make it happen?"


    He fell silent.


    "Asher?"


    "One day."


    The butterflies in her stomach burst into a flurry of activity, the strength of her heartbeat leaving her breathless.


    "I can''t wait," she managed to murmur after a few moments.


    "I know."


    "B-But I will. For as long as you need."


    She heard him give a quiet sigh. "Thank you."


    Neither of them said anything for a couple of seconds.


    "How are your assignments going?" she asked him.


    "Great, actually. I… I''ve been feeling really focused."


    "That''s good. Sorry for distracting you lately."


    "It''s because I know we''ll be hanging out soon that I feel so focused, Lila."


    "Really?"


    "Yeah. It''s like… a reward I''m working towards."


    "A reward? Don''t you already get money for doing well?"


    "I do, but… this one''s better than money. I''ve bought a couple of games for us to play, and searched for some things for us to watch together-"


    "That doesn''t sound like studying."


    "Breaks, remember?"


    "I see," Lila laughed, settling herself into a lying down position. "Have you been sleeping well?"


    "Define ''well''."


    "Enough that I don''t have to be grumpy with you."


    "Fabulously well, then."


    She laughed again, which he joined in with. Lila doubted that he had been, but she didn''t push the issue. They ended up talking for half an hour longer about nothing in particular except light, casual topics. She briefly wondered if she should mention the missing case file, but she decided to get into it when they were back at school. For now, she was simply enjoying this time without heaviness with Asher.


    Eventually, though, Lila was beginning to feel really drowsy.


    "You sound like you''re going to fall asleep," Asher murmured. "I''ll let you sleep."


    "But I want to talk to you some more," Lila protested with a yawn.


    "I''m not disappearing anytime soon," Asher said playfully. "There''ll always be tomorrow."


    "You''ll call again tomorrow?"


    "Of course."


    "Promise?"


    "Promise."


    "Then… I guess it''s okay," Lila yawned again.


    He laughed once more.


    "Alright, sleepyhead. Goodnight," he said gently.


    "Goodnight, Asher. I wish you could give me a goodnight kiss."


    "I''ll have to bank them up."


    "I''ll cash in soon."


    He chuckled. "Alright. I''ll talk to you tomorrow."


    "Okay," Lila smiled. "You need to sleep too, okay? I''ll get grumpy with you."


    "I can''t have that. I''ll go to sleep soon."


    "Good."


    "… Goodnight, Lila."


    "Goodnight, Asher."


    They hung up. She was glad that he called – it helped alleviate her sadness at being unable to hang out with him that weekend. She couldn''t wait to hear his voice again tomorrow.


    Lila fell asleep almost instantly with a smile still on her face.