Chapter One Hundred and Sixty


    Lila wasn''t keen for yet another assembly. Unlike the previous assemblies, this was the regularly scheduled one. Lila''s classmates in both Japanese and Biology seemed similarly displeased by the way they were grumbling about it, though seeing Asher in between those classes brightened her mood.


    Once it was morning tea, he promptly left with a promise to return and Lila began rummaging amongst her things. Her bag had become increasingly chaotic as the term wore on, and she definitely needed to clear it out.


    "Can''t believe we have assembly again," Elise groaned, slamming her locker shut.


    "What''re they even going to talk about?" Grace said, closing her locker much more gently.


    "Probably sports stuff," Lila shrugged, inspecting the pocket in which she''d put her morning tea.


    "Boring," Elise sighed. "Can''t the athletes just award themselves at, like, sporting matches or whatever?"


    "Aw," Isaac''s voice interjected, forcing the three girls to turn to him, "you guys don''t want to see us get our shiny awards when we win the soccer finals?"


    "You think you''ll win?" Grace asked idly.


    "Of course," Asher replied, bringing up the rear with a confident grin. "We''ve been doing really well."


    "They have been," Lila confirmed with a grin of her own. Seeing how proud and pleased he looked instilled a sense of pride in herself as she interlocked their hands. Then, she turned to Elise and Grace.


    "You guys should watch them play in the semis and the finals," she said, her eyes resting on Elise''s face.


    "My weekends are pretty stacked, I''m afraid," Grace said quickly, giving Lila a knowing nod. "Lots of rehearsals for the musical."


    "Ooh, when is that?" Elise asked, swiftly avoiding the topic as though she hadn''t heard Lila''s suggestion.


    "Mid-October," Grace responded, narrowing her eyes at Elise. "You should go watch the soccer boys."


    "I''ll probably have work," Elise said awkwardly, casting her eyes down at the floor. The way that she bit her lip and squeezed her hands together told Lila that Elise really wanted to go, though.


    Lila''s eyes flickered to Asher''s and he nudged Isaac. Isaac looked back at Asher before clenching his fists.


    Isaac stumbled over his words as he said, "Y-You should watch, Elise. Soccer. The games, I mean. Where I''ll be playing with Asher." He grimaced and turned around. "I''m gonna go on a walk for morning tea."


    "Do you want me to go with you?" Asher asked. Isaac shook his head.


    "Nah. I''d like a long walk alone. The weather''s good for it."


    Isaac started heading out when Lila nudged Elise forward.


    "I-I''ll try, Isaac," Elise said, looking incredibly flustered. "It was fun, last time."


    He slowly swivelled on his heel, a nervous smile twitching on his face. "Okay. I''ll see you there."


    Then, without waiting for a response from Elise, he continued on his journey out of the locker room, his hands firmly in his pockets. In unison, Lila, Asher and Grace faced Elise, who hid her face in her hands.


    "That''s some progress!" Lila said excitedly, shaking Elise''s shoulder. "He asked you to go watch him play!"


    "Only ''cause you said I should," Elise mumbled. "You basically forced him to ask."


    "Not really," Grace replied. "He specifically said you should watch. No one told him to say that."


    Elise lowered her hands, revealing her pink face. "That was peer pressure. He didn''t really mean it."


    "Certainly not," Asher said seriously. "You know Isaac. He never says things he doesn''t mean."


    Elise looked at Asher for a moment. "He might."


    "Not my buddy," Asher responded with a smile. "Trust me and trust him. He wants you there."


    Elise pressed her lips together, her expression seeming like she was teetering on the edge of denying what Asher had said. Before she could do so, Grace looped an arm around Elise''s and gently shook it.


    "C''mon, let''s go to morning tea. These carrots are calling my name," Grace said, shaking her container of carrots. "See you guys later."


    She pulled Elise alongside her and Lila watched them walk over to the exit, an uncontrollable beam across her face.


    "Success!" she said eagerly to Asher once the door closed behind them. "Good move, encouraging him to ask like that."


    "I just saw an opportunity," Asher replied, his eyes crinkled in joy as he looked down at her. "Glad it worked."


    "You''re amazing."


    "It was just a nudge."


    "A well-timed, well-intentioned nudge."


    "You''ve got me there. Don''t forget you had a good nudge, too."


    They shared another grin and strolled to the library with Lila clutching Asher''s arm in excitement.


    "I reckon if Isaac does well at the game, Elise''ll want to kiss him in celebration," Lila said gleefully as they sat down in the meeting room. Asher chuckled.


    "After everything, you think she''d be that bold?" he asked.


    "Of course," Lila replied with a firm nod. "I mean, I always want to when you do well."


    He chuckled again. "I did well just then, didn''t I?"


    He raised an eyebrow, his eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly like he was testing her, and she was delighted to fall into his trap, immediately crossing over to him. His eyes sparkled with anticipation and she playfully grabbed his tie, pulling him close enough for a kiss.


    Just like yesterday, he didn''t pull away or panic, his hands around her waist. It was again Lila who signalled for it to end, her breathing heavy, giddiness soaring within her chest and the feeling of his lips lingering on her lips like a tantalising imprint.


    "I think I really like this epiphany of yours. You should have them more often," she said after catching her breath. She straightened his tie, attempting to meet his eyes but finding them rather elusive, his cheeks flushed.


    He laughed, though there seemed to be nervousness within it. "You reckon?"


    "Definitely."


    "I''ll try and see what this brain of mine comes up with, then."


    "Good."


    They spent the rest of morning tea talking and joking around, with their legs lightly touching under the table.


    Eventually, Lila stretched her arms above her head. "Isn''t it about time we head off to assembly?"


    Asher checked his phone and nodded. "Yeah. Let''s go watch those athletes get those shiny awards."


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    Lila sidled into the spare seat beside Grace, saying hello to both Grace and Elise and entirely unenthusiastic about the coming assembly.


    It wasn''t long until everyone was seated, the procession was finished, and Mr Lockwood had taken his place at the lectern.


    "Good morning, students," he said into the microphone, peering around at the student body before taking a downwards glance at the lectern. "A couple of things to mention before we go through the usual agenda today."


    He adjusted his glasses, his expression becoming more grim in the pause that followed.


    "There has been a lot of discussion and gossip floating through the school halls that must not carry on. I understand that the last assembly was shocking to all of you, however that is not an invitation to spread malicious rumours regarding recent events. Many of your classmates and teachers are grieving and will continue to grieve for some time. Even if you do not respect those that have passed, respect those around you."


    It was quite a severe message, tone and glare. Lila folded her arms across her body, feeling a chill come over her. She hadn''t heard any of the rumours regarding Jason, though it wasn''t like she was listening out for them either. Surely Mr Lockwood would know that pointing them out would just make it worse, right?


    ''Wonder what''s being said,'' Lila thought as she stared up at Mr Lockwood''s serious face. If Mr Lockwood''s insistence that rumours and gossip stop didn''t work, she''d need to keep an ear out. Perhaps it was time to get Tuckshop again.


    "Secondly, we are regrettably saying goodbye to Ms Mia Alexander at the end of the term," he said after clearing his throat. Hearing him mention Ms Alexander made Lila uneasy. Grace sat unnaturally rigid next to Lila, and Lila regretted sitting next to her. She braced herself for whatever he would say next.


    "Despite only being with us for a short amount of time as the middle and senior school music teacher, Ms Alexander has been an asset to Forestglade College and we wish her all the best for her new endeavours at Mulberry Heights High. It goes without saying that her successor will have a tough act to follow when we find them."


    Lila couldn''t help herself from glancing at Grace and was shocked to see that Grace already had tears in her eyes. It was undeniable how hard Ms Alexander''s departure was hitting Grace. Should Lila feel sympathy? She wasn''t sure, for the relief she was feeling was overpowering anything else. Maybe, once Ms Alexander was gone, Grace would begin to wake up and realise what was going on…


    With that announcement, Mr Lockwood moved through the assembly''s agenda. Awards were given for various sports, there was an address from the school Chaplain and a performance from the school band among other usual announcements and celebrations. The fact that this assembly was so ordinary after the previous two was honestly jarring, though Lila conceded that they''d have to get back to normal at some point.


    Eventually, it wrapped up with Ms Alexander leading today''s school song. Seeing Ms Alexander on stage, professional and businesslike, only reminded Lila of the fact that Ms Alexander was at such a different stage of life to Grace – and should definitely not be dating a teenager, let alone convince one that they were in love.


    Grace barely sang a note when she was usually the loudest. The Grade 7s were chosen to pack away the chairs and Lila stood up, ready to find Asher in the crowd, when Grace tugged on her blazer sleeve.


    "Lila," Grace murmured quietly, causing Lila to look back at her. She was incredibly pale.


    "Whoa, are you okay?" Lila asked, holding onto Grace''s shoulders. It felt as though Grace was one small push away from collapsing.


    Grace shook her head. "No. It''s starting to get real and I''m scared."


    "Grace…"


    "I know you don''t like it, but… but I need some reassurance that everything will be okay."


    "Grace, you know I can''t promise that."


    "Can''t you pretend?"


    "Are you guys gonna get a move on, or are you gonna pack up the chairs with the Grade 7s?" Elise asked from behind Grace, looking curiously at them.


    "S-Sorry," Grace said, "just got caught chatting."


    Lila slid out of the now-empty row, feeling Grace hold onto her arm. There was something incredibly childlike about Grace now, with how subdued and sullen she was, that sparked a feeling of protectiveness within Lila. It was hard to not feel guilty about being the catalyst for Ms Alexander''s move to Mulberry Heights High with how upset Grace was, but Lila was starting to feel incredibly angry. Furious at the fact that Ms Alexander had groomed and ensnared her best friend, someone who had been with Lila through thick and thin over the years, convinced her that they were in love, and was subsequently breaking her heart.


    It actually took her by surprise, how pissed off she was, given how relieved she''d been during MrLockwood''s announcement. There wasn''t anything she could do about it, and she definitely didn''t want Ms Alexander to stay, but that didn''t stop her from feeling the steam coming out of her ears. As far as Lila was concerned, Mulberry Heights High wasn''t far enough away from Grace.


    "Lila, can I hang out with you and Asher for lunch?" Grace asked softly once they pushed their way out of the Gymnasium. Elise was far behind them and Asher wasn''t anywhere near where they were standing. Lila took a deep breath, hoping that the fumes of her rage dissipated quickly enough to answer Grace without alarming her.


    "I-I''m not sure," Lila eventually replied, looking elsewhere. "Asher''s not here, so it''s not like I can ask. Maybe you should hang out with Elise."


    Lila''s eyes then rested on Grace, who looked crestfallen. "That''s the backup plan, but she doesn''t know. I… I want to be with people who know," Grace said almost too quietly for Lila to hear over the chatter of the students standing around them.


    Lila really wasn''t sure whether Asher would be receptive to that, given how he was in Ms Alexander''s office. She already knew Asher wasn''t supportive of the relationship, but would he support Grace now that she was upset?


    "Look, I''ve got English with him next, so I''ll ask," Lila said with a resigned sigh. "I''ll let you know, okay?"


    "Okay," Grace replied, her voice once again almost swallowed by the sounds of people talking around them. "Thank you. I know you like to have lunch alone with him, but… I think I''ll explode."


    ''Well, that''s not good…''


    "There you are," Asher''s voice startled them both and, before Lila could pose the question, Grace scuttled away into the crowd.


    "I''m not that intimidating, am I?" he asked pleasantly, his gaze locked onto where Grace had disappeared.


    "You will be once you hear what she was asking me," Lila sighed.


    "What?"


    "Not here," Lila gestured around at the students surrounding them. "Let''s walk to English."


    Asher gave Lila a curious look before taking her hand and leading her away from the bulk of the students.


    "Guessing we''ll go the route less travelled?" he asked, glancing down at her. She nodded, warily looking at some nearby Grade 10s. Gradually, the number of potential eavesdroppers decreased to none and Lila inhaled deeply.


    "Didn''t expect a whole announcement about Ms Alexander leaving. Seems like she''s well-liked by the school and the students," Asher said before she could speak.


    "I''m pretty sure she''s the only music teacher for grades 7 to 12," Lila responded robotically.


    "Yeah, figures. Must be nice. Probably makes it even worse, if you consider her getting into a ''relationship'' with a student betrayal to the school." He surveyed Lila carefully before asking, "What did Grace want?"


    "She wants to have lunch with us."


    "So she ran away from me like I was the devil incarnate? That''s some lunch invitation."


    "I think it''s mostly because we were kinda talking about Ms Alexander. She knows you don''t like the whole situation-"


    "As no one should – not even them."


    "Yes, well, it''s what it is, I guess. Anyway, she said that she wants to be with people that know. I think that technically means her family''s out since she only told them part of the picture."


    "Surely she''d want to spend every moment she can with her girlfriend?"


    Lila shrugged. "I would''ve thought so but from the way she was talking, I think she''s too upset to face her at the moment."


    Asher scratched at his chin before shaking his head with a soft sigh. "Yeah. Let''s have lunch with her."


    "Really?"


    "Yeah," Asher furrowed his brow in confusion. "Did you think I''d say no?"


    "Not necessarily, but you''re not supportive of them."


    "Of course I''m not, but I''m not mad at Grace. The way she''s been groomed, it''s only natural for her to be like how she is. I feel a lot of pity for Grace but it''s also clear that she''s not budging on being with Ms Alexander – which is right where Ms Alexander wants her, unfortunately. If she''s as in love as she thinks she is, then the fact that Ms Alexander''s moving to a different school is horrible for her."


    "I see."


    "Why, do you think we should say no?"


    "No, not necessarily. I… got really angry all of a sudden over the whole situation. As much as I''m happy that Grace thinks she''s in love and happy, I just wish it wasn''t with a teacher. There''s just something insidious about them being together and I hate it. It''ll be a mission to keep that from slipping out during lunch."


    "I agree. I believe in your capability to keep it in, though."


    Lila gripped Asher''s arm close to her chest. "Do you think they''ll break up?"


    "I have no idea, to be honest. I mean, if Ms Alexander intentionally groomed Grace and plotted for Grace to be under her thumb, then she''d probably just find a new victim at Mulberry Heights and forget about Grace. If Ms Alexander is… genuine-" the word fell out of his lips with enough disgust that he scrunched his nose, "about feeling in love, then probably not. I doubt Grace would ever break up with Ms Alexander – at least, not until Grace realises how fucked up it all is. That''ll probably only happen when she''s fully an adult."


    "That makes sense."


    "I try."


    They traversed the path ahead in silence for a while before Lila pulled out her phone.


    "I''ll just tell Grace we''ll have lunch with her."


    "Okay," Asher nodded. "I''ll brace myself for the most awkward lunch of all time."


    <hr noshade="noshade" size="1">


    "Let''s go, Grace," Elise said, her lunchbox swinging from one hand, the other grasping Grace''s arm. "I wanna grab a nice shady spot before they all get taken."


    "Sorry, Elise," Grace replied, slipping out of Elise''s hand. "I''m having lunch with Lila and Asher."


    Elise''s shoulders deflated, her face looking taken aback. "And I''m not invited?"


    Lila winced, immediately turning around to her locker. She didn''t want to see either of her friends'' faces as they navigated this.


    "U-Um, it''s not that you''re not invited," Grace stammered, "I just, um, thought it''d be a good opportunity for you to have lunch with Isaac."


    "After this morning, I''m too embarrassed to," came Elise''s no-nonsense reply. "C''mon, let me have lunch with you guys too."


    "If you want something to happen between you two, you gotta keep the ball rolling," Lila found herself saying. She cringed as she realised what she''d said, but she didn''t take it back. "Besides, Grace wanted some help with her Maths assignment from Asher."


    "Ew," Elise replied, her distaste evident even though Lila still wasn''t facing her. "I''d rather do anything else than use my lunch break to study. That''s what Study is for, and like I said before, breaks are important. Do you really have to do it now?"


    "I-I''m just having so much trouble," Grace stuttered, "so I''ll need to work on it tonight. I''m so stuck that Asher helping me will take all lunch, I''m sure. I can''t wrap my head around-"


    "Yikes, I don''t even want to hear that," Elise interjected. "You win. I''ll go for a wander. Maybe some alone time will do me some good."You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    "Or you could ask Isaac-"


    "Hey, Isaac, hey, Asher," Elise suddenly said, forcing Lila to look in the direction of the beginning of their locker room aisle. Sure enough, both Asher and Isaac had appeared, though neither seemed to have caught on to what the girls had been saying before their arrival.


    "Look at that, gotta go maximise our study sesh," Grace said hurriedly, pinching Lila''s blazer with her thumb and forefinger. "See you later!"


    With that, Grace marched towards Asher. He took an instant step back before allowing himself to be captured by Lila, who pulled him forward by his arm. Grace and Lila greeted Isaac as they passed and he nodded in return, his expression beyond perplexed. Lila could''ve sworn she spotted Asher mouthing ''Good luck,'' to Isaac, though it didn''t seem like Isaac had noticed. Had Asher been giving him a pep talk at their lockers?


    There wasn''t any room to ponder this, however, as Grace barrelled along towards the library, Lila and Asher almost jogging to keep up.


    Finally, they all plopped into their seats in a meeting room, catching their breath.


    "Jesus, Grace, you''d think you were being chased by bears," Lila huffed.


    "S-Sorry," Grace wheezed, clutching her side. "I think I was a bit too enthusiastic."


    "A bit," Asher confirmed, wiping his face with his hands.


    "Sorry," Grace repeated. "I''m… just really upset."


    "It''s understandable," Asher replied after catching his breath and taking his morning tea out of his blazer pocket.


    "It is?" Grace''s eyes were wide, her voice a stunned whisper.


    "Well, yeah. If Lila moved schools, I''d be devastated."


    The earnest frankness of his statement surprised Lila enough that she felt winded once again. He knew Grace was in love with Ms Alexander – so… did his theoretical devastation mean he was in love with Lila?


    ''Stop it,'' she chastised herself, taking a slow, measured breath to calm down. ''You''re not just jumping to conclusions, you''re catapulting to them.''


    "It feels like asking is redundant, but how are you coping?" Lila asked in an effort to force her mind elsewhere.


    "I''m not," Grace said, squeezing her hands together on the table. "I can''t count how many times I asked her to stay."


    "Grace," Lila sighed, placing a sympathetic hand on Grace''s hands.


    "I know she can''t," Grace continued, tears welling in her eyes. "That doesn''t mean I…" She shook her head, seeming unable to finish her sentence.


    "Have you told her how hard you''re taking this?" Lila asked, her concern only rising.


    "She knows but what can she do? She''s accepted the contract and… well, she told me that she applied to start working there at the start of the term. So it''s been in the works for a long time… just without me knowing." Grace then placed her head in her hands and gave a shaky breath.


    Lila and Asher exchanged a glance.


    "Maybe it''ll be a good thing," Asher said, his tone gentle. "You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? It''ll mean that when you do see each other again, you''ll appreciate it even more."


    "You''re just hoping we''ll break up," Grace murmured petulantly behind her hands.


    Asher sighed. "I''m not going to lie and say no. At the same time, I get how you''re feeling and it''s terrible. I''m really sorry you''re going through this."


    "Why don''t you let Elise in on it?" Lila suggested. "At least tell her you''re struggling with your girlfriend going to a different school. It''s true, after all."


    Grace paused before lowering her hands, shame etched onto her face. "I can''t. I''d accidentally tell her who my girlfriend is."


    "I mean, we know," Asher said pointedly, gesturing at himself and Lila. "Is it a bad thing if she knows? Surely she''d keep it a secret too."


    "I… I don''t want to say it to her out loud. As much as I love Mia and our relationship, I know it''s… well, a scandal. She might think less of me because of it, and I can''t bear that. I also don''t want to admit that I''ve been keeping such a big secret from her for so long. We tell each other everything. At least, we''re supposed to. We used to. It''s… kinda like I''ve betrayed her, you know."


    Lila pursed her lips. It''d be rich of her to push Grace to tell Elise, given how many secrets she held, and knew about, that she hadn''t told Grace or Elise.


    "I see," Asher responded. "Makes sense not to. I''m guessing you wouldn''t have ever told Lila?"


    Grace squirmed in her seat, her face pink. "… Never."


    "Well, at least you would''ve equally not told me," Lila said quickly. "It sounds weird, but I''m glad we found out. Aside from my curiosity killing me, had I not known, I''d hate it if I found out later that you had to deal with her moving and all that on your own."


    Grace gave her a weak smile. "Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse."


    "I''m not trying to make you feel worse."


    Grace attempted a laugh, though it fell flat.


    "You mentioned you were scared," Lila said, grasping Grace''s hands again. "Scared of what?"


    "I''m… scared of the future without her here. Since she told us that she''s moving to Mulberry Heights High, I''ve spent most of my morning tea and lunchtimes with her and it just makes me so sad that I won''t be able to anymore. And what if we break up? I don''t think I could handle that pain. I''m really weak, Lila." She gave another half-hearted attempt at a laugh. "Probably why I''m in this relationship to begin with."


    Lila held her tongue back from saying how self-aware that was and it seemed from Asher''s swift look at Lila that he was doing the same.


    "I think that if you''re in love, you shouldn''t worry," Asher said after a beat. "She''s moving to protect your relationship, isn''t she?"


    Grace nodded, her eyes shining with tears.


    "Then you should trust that everything will be okay. You can''t spend the rest of your time together worrying about something that may or may not happen," he concluded with a comforting smile. "I''m sure she''s just as upset."


    "She… hasn''t said whether she is or isn''t. What if she''s not?"


    "What if she''s not saying anything so that you don''t feel bad about her being upset?" Lila countered.


    "… I guess that sounds like her," Grace murmured. Then, without warning, she started crying, alarming both Lila and Asher into standing.


    "T-Tissues," Asher stammered, looking wildly around the room. Lila took a brief look before sitting next to Grace, pulling her into a hug. It seemed to settle her for a moment as she took a gasping breath before melting into the hug.


    "I-I''m still scared. It feels like we''ve broken up already," Grace sniffled. Then, her silent tears turned into sobbing.


    Asher stumbled over to Grace, armed with about ten tissues from a nearby tissue box. "Here," he said uncertainly. Grace took them and pressed all of them against her eyes, her sobbing not even pausing for a moment. Lila rhythmically patted Grace''s back, meeting Asher''s anxious eyes with a reassuring smile.


    He slowly sat down as Grace''s sobs eased.


    "I… can''t imagine my life without her," Grace finally uttered, her hold on Lila tightening like a boa constrictor.


    "You''ve lived without her before," Lila managed to say with what limited air she had. "Besides, you haven''t broken up. It just means you won''t see each other as often."


    Grace shook her head. "Lila, you don''t get it. I''ve seen her every day for the past year, and the year before that it was at least twice a week. Now I''m going to see her, what, over the weekend? Once or twice? What if we''ve got stuff on over the weekend? How am I meant to choose? I mean, Asher goes to the same school as you do, so it''s not like you can relate."


    "You''re right," Lila replied quietly. "Sorry."


    Asher looked apprehensively at Lila, seeming conflicted. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it again and shaking his head.


    "You look like you want to say something, Asher," Lila observed. He shook his head again.


    "Not at all."


    Grace let go of Lila and wiped her eyes with the tissues again before looking over at Asher. "What''s on your mind?"


    He met Lila''s gaze before exhaling deeply. "A relationship with someone outside of school isn''t impossible."


    Both Grace and Lila stiffened. It had completely slipped her mind that he''d dated someone from a different school.


    She wasn''t exactly sure why it''d slipped her mind, given she was hyper-aware that Ms Alexander''s new school was Holly''s school, but the obvious, visceral reminder that he''d dated Holly felt like a sucker punch to her gut.


    "Not that my experience ended up going well," Asher mumbled. Then, he gave a sarcastic laugh before saying, "Though I don''t think it started well, actually. It kinda seemed like she''d planned on using me from the start since she cheated so early on." He cleared his throat and continued.


    "A-Anyway, when it was going well – well, when I thought it was going well – her being at a different school wasn''t something that bothered me. We''d see each other when we could throughout the week and on weekends for the six-ish months that we were together. It just meant that we''d have more to talk about and that the time we made for each other was… I don''t want to say important, because every second with Lila is important, but I guess on a micro level it''s similar to how I felt after going to Vanuatu. I spent a lot of time in Vanuatu thinking about how to relish and celebrate our time together since the time I''d intended to spend with Lila had been taken from me unexpectedly."


    Lila hadn''t thought about the intricacies of how Asher had spent his time with Holly, for it had been too painful to even broach in her mind, and it seemed like Asher wanted to vanish entirely with how guilty he looked. But… to hear that he considered every second with Lila important and that he''d spent a lot of time on Vanuatu thinking about how to relish and celebrate their time together – it began to stir her butterflies into motion within her stomach.


    "Sorry," he said, avoiding Lila''s eyes – not that she was eager to meet them at the moment either because of what he''d said about his relationship with Holly, and because she was suddenly feeling too shy to. "I just thought it might be helpful for you to hear, Grace."


    "I thought Lila was over at your house, like, all the time when you were dating your ex. How did you have the time to be with your ex?" Grace asked, dabbing at her eyes with tissues.


    Asher winced. "It was around the same time that Holly had suddenly become busier. We''d still usually go late-night shopping, or she''d come over for dinner at least once during the week. Before that, it was a couple times a week that we''d hang out. Looking back, I think she just wanted to avoid me getting suspicious of her by decreasing the time we spent together. She was also probably spending her time cheating instead."


    "I… don''t know if that comforts me or makes me freak out more. What if she cheats on me?" Grace fretted.


    "Do you trust her?" Asher asked, his tone dead serious.


    "Of course I do," Grace immediately responded like he was insane. "With my whole heart."


    "Then what''s there to worry about?"


    "Didn''t you trust Holly?"


    He gave her a rueful smile. "Not really. Not even with things that deeply bothered me."


    Grace looked taken aback. "Really?"


    "Really. I trusted Lila far more when we were just English partners than I ever trusted Holly – particularly before I found out she''d been cheating on me. Told Lila stuff that I haven''t even told Isaac let alone Holly, like, the first time she came over."


    The matter-of-fact way that he''d said that seemed to have shocked Grace into silence. Truthfully, Lila felt shocked, too. She''d never heard Asher admit that to anyone else and it didn''t seem like he was embarrassed. In fact, he gave Lila a warm smile – one that compelled her to smile back.


    ''God, I love him,'' she thought, her heart pounding and face beginning to go red.


    Grace seemed none the wiser to the goofy smiles Lila and Asher shared given how contemplative she looked.


    "I get what you''re saying," Grace said after a long pause. "I can''t change that she''s leaving, even though I want to. All I can do is trust that everything will work out. Even though we won''t see each other as often, when we do, it''ll mean more than it does now – that we''ve put in that extra effort."


    "That''s the way," Asher said approvingly. "No need to be scared."


    "Yeah," Grace smiled. "Thanks for reassuring me, Asher. I hadn''t realised that you''d be so kind to me about it, even though… well, you don''t like my relationship."


    "I''m not mad at you, Grace, and it''s not like I can try and stop it more than I''ve already tried," Asher replied bluntly. "It''s also not nice to process something like this on your own. After Lila barged in on me being a whole mess after I found out my ex was cheating, I realised just how much being alone in vulnerable moments like that sucked. That''s not something I want to wish on you, especially with how important you are to Lila."


    Lila knew that he''d appreciated her going to see him after his breakup, but she hadn''t heard him express it in a while. Actually, she thought he would''ve tried to forget everything; yet here he was, mentioning something personal once again to Grace without batting an eye.


    "So it all comes down to you, huh," Grace said to Lila.


    "Seems like it," Lila laughed. Grace joined in, though she laughed slightly louder than normal.


    Grace then rested her head in her hands, staring down at the table. "… I''m still anxious."


    "That''s fine," Lila replied soothingly. "I think you will be until you settle into your new normal."


    "My new normal, huh," Grace repeated, her eyes distant and glassy. "Why does it have to suck like this? I know it''s meant to be for the best, but does the best have to make my heart hurt like this?"


    "Grace-"


    "No, no. I''m fine. Well, I will be," Grace said, cutting Lila off. "We''ll be fine. I just need to process what you guys have said. It''s reassuring, at least. It''s also reassuring that you guys aren''t telling me that feeling this way is stupid."


    A silent tear trailed down her face and she quickly wiped it away with an insincere smile.


    "A-Anyway, enough about all that," she said lightly, picking at her thumbnails. "Good work, you two with pushing Elise and Isaac to finally make plans outside of working together."


    Asher looked uncertainly at Lila, who simply nodded back. If Grace was changing the topic, there wasn''t any reason to not let her.


    "Yeah. I mean, she watched him play a while ago, but I think that was to support him as a friend. With how nervous they both were just now, it definitely seems like they''re getting the vibe that maybe this is more than just going to support a friend," Lila proposed.


    "I agree," Grace''s smile looked more genuine this time. "Elise works so hard. She deserves some happiness."


    "Couldn''t agree more." Lila then turned to Asher. "What were you saying to Isaac before we came here?"


    "Oh, that?" Asher grinned. "I said he should suggest treating her to some Tuckshop at some point. He looked like I was crazy, but then he actually said he''d try it out as friends."


    "You waited until now to reveal that?" Lila asked, jumping out of her seat and slamming her hands onto the table, leaning towards Asher with eyes brimming with excitement.


    "It''s not like I had any opportunity," Asher laughed, raising his hands in surrender.


    "Way to hold back on us," Grace interjected, a teasing smile on her lips.


    "You''re ganging up on me too? What happened to my good advice?" Asher joked.


    "Long forgotten in the face of your mistakes," Grace replied haughtily before the three of them burst into laughter.


    This brevity carried on through the rest of lunch as they chatted, ate and walked back to the locker room. Though the absence of Elise and Isaac was painfully obvious, Lila, Asher and Grace still managed to get along fine – even better than usual, now that Asher had given Grace some advice.


    "See you later," Grace said once they reached the aisle she shared with Lila and Elise, waving at Asher and Lila before heading to her locker.


    "I''ll be back in a sec, probably with Isaac," Asher said. Lila nodded in acknowledgement.


    "Okay."


    She assembled her Maths and Design things while she waited for Asher. He didn''t take too long and he indeed had Isaac in tow.


    "So, Isaac," Asher said with an expectant grin on his face, "did you talk to Elise?"


    Isaac stared at Asher, as if unable to comprehend what Asher had said. "Huh?"


    "About shouting her some food?"


    "Oh." Isaac bashfully raised a hand to the back of his head. "Might''ve."


    Lila gasped and Asher elbowed him in reaction.


    "What''d she say?" Lila asked enthusiastically.


    "Don''t you guys have class at the other end of campus?" Elise questioned, craning her neck around Isaac and Asher and meeting Lila''s eyes.


    "Sure do. Let''s go," Isaac said abruptly, pulling Asher towards the exit by his arm.


    Lila waggled her eyebrows at Elise, who looked at her blankly, and followed the boys out of the locker room before they left her behind.


    Once they were clear of the locker room and Elise, Asher shrugged Isaac off his arm.


    "What''s up with the panic?" Asher asked as Lila immediately took Isaac''s place around the same arm.


    "What panic?" Isaac replied stiffly. "There''s no panic."


    "Mate, if you''ve already asked to shout her some lunch, you don''t have to run away from her like that," Asher snorted, pulling Lila closer to him.


    "We''ll be late for class," Isaac insisted, wedging a hand between Lila and Asher''s shoulders. "Stop that."


    "Not until you actually talk to us," Asher retorted, not moving an inch from Lila.


    Isaac huffed. "Fine. She said yes."


    "How''d you ask?" Lila pressed.


    Isaac looked uncomfortable by the question and he avoided looking at either of them. "Just said it''s a ''thank you'' for showing me the McRopes."


    "Isaac," Lila sighed. "That doesn''t make it seem like you''re interested-"


    "Lila, politely, I think I''m going to combust. Let''s talk about something else," Isaac replied, his voice strained.


    "… Sorry."


    Isaac gritted his teeth, looking up at the awning stretching above their path to the STEM area. "You don''t need to be sorry. I''m sorry for… whatever this is." He shoved his hands in his pockets and gestured at where Lila was still holding Asher with a jerk of his head. "Go on."


    Lila reluctantly let go and folded her arms across her chest. "It''s not like we''re kissing," she grumbled.


    "Everyone knows that a handhold is a slippery slope."


    "Who the hell says that?" Asher snorted. "Besides, we weren''t holding hands either."


    Isaac shrugged. "Dunno, but I doubt you want to get in trouble at this point in the term, Asher. Isn''t it, like, the most important time of year for you?"


    Asher also shrugged. "I mean, yeah. It''s exactly why I-" he stopped short, clearing his throat, though it sounded more like he''d started having a hacking fit.


    "You okay?" Lila asked, reaching up to lightly touch his cheek. His eyes met hers and his cheeks turned pink where she grazed him.


    "Yeah," he replied, hiding his mouth with his hand. "Just fine."


    "What were you going to say?" she queried, taking in his entirely shifty demeanour.


    His eyes flickered to Isaac and he shook his head. "Nothing."


    "I think we all know that''s bs," Isaac said, his eyebrow raised.


    "Like I want to talk about it with you here," Asher retorted, his blush returning in full force.


    "I asked the question!" Isaac replied shrilly. Then, with a gasp, he said, "Asher, you''re thinking weird things, aren''t-"


    "Oh, piss off," Asher swung a leg out, missing Isaac but getting the point across. Isaac began cackling.


    "Mate, you''re not going to escape answering properly," Isaac laughed. "Didya forget we''ve got Chem next? Besides, Lila looks curious enough for the both of us."


    Asher sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It''s just that being with Lila, holding her and kissing her helps with the stress. I''m my happiest with her, and that trumps getting in trouble if I''m caught – especially now at this point in the term."


    "Ah," Isaac uttered sheepishly, "that makes a lot of sense."


    Asher had said so many sweet things today – things that made her wonder… maybe now was the time to tell him that she loved him. But, for the moment, it was as though her voicebox had disappeared entirely, replaced instead with her thumping heart.


    "So, no, I''m not thinking weird things, dumbass," Asher added, kicking lazily at Isaac and missing him once again.


    "Alright, alright, sheesh. Stop with the kicking. These legs are a precious commodity, you know – unless you don''t want us to get to the finals?"


    Asher and Isaac exchanged a look before descending into laughter. Lila joined in, though her mind was still focusing on what Asher had said.


    In fact, it was all she could focus on for the rest of the day.


    "You know, I didn''t want to point this out before," Asher said quietly as they strolled to her bus station, hats firmly on their heads and bags bulging from the study materials they were taking home for the weekend, "but you''ve been really quiet this afternoon."


    Lila glanced at Asher, who looked back at her with worry in his eyes. She smiled.


    "I''ve been thinking," she said simply.


    "Oh," Asher breathed, a smile of relief taking the place of his previous worry. "I thought I did something."


    "Well, you did," she replied. The relief then turned into guilt.


    "Sorry," he mumbled, clutching the straps of their bags tightly. "I didn''t want to talk about it, but I thought Grace needed that perspective – especially when she said you couldn''t relate."


    Lila furrowed her brow in confusion. "Huh?"


    He stared back at her. "That''s… not what you were thinking about?"


    "No, but what are you talking about?"


    "Forget what I just said," Asher replied briskly, hiking their bags higher on his shoulders. "C''mon, you''ll be late for the bus."


    "No, no," Lila said, grabbing hold of the back of Asher''s bag before he could walk too far ahead. "What''s that all about?"


    "I''ve put my foot in it, haven''t I?" Asher muttered before giving a long-suffering sigh of defeat. "I meant… talking about what it was like, dating someone from a different school."


    "Oh." Lila had actually overlooked that. Her mind had been dedicated to preserving Asher''s comments about how he felt about her instead. "Right."


    "Now that I''ve… reminded you about it," he said softly, "… are you upset?"


    "I''d had a brief moment of shock, I guess. I''d kinda forgotten that you dated someone from a different school until you brought it up."


    "Sorry for bringing it up."


    "Don''t be. It seemed helpful for Grace. I think she''d forgotten too." She took in his still-guilty expression with a small smile. "Besides, I''ve been focused on other things that you said."


    "What other things?"


    "Well… I didn''t think you''d say all that to Grace. A-About, uh, that every second with me is important, that you spent a lot of time on Vanuatu thinking about, well, us, and that you told me stuff that you never told Holly or Isaac. I was also thinking about what you said to Isaac… that I help you with your stress and that you''re happiest with me," she explained in a murmur.


    "I did say all that," Asher replied, his cheeks pink. "Should I not have?"


    "No, it''s not that – I just didn''t realise that you''d be so… candid about that. I would''ve thought you''d be embarrassed admitting that."


    "Embarrassed?" Asher blinked at her in confusion. "Why would I be embarrassed?"


    "Well, you seemed it with Isaac, at least."


    "That… was more because I couldn''t find the right words, but I needed to say something."


    "The right words? Were you lying?"


    "Not at all." He looked offended that she''d think that. "No, it''s just… he''d tease me if I said too much."


    "Tease you?"


    Asher readjusted his hat before patting his pocket. "I don''t think you''ll make it to the bus. I''ll just let George know to drop you off."


    She watched him quickly text George and he turned around, facing the path to the carpark.


    "You didn''t answer my question," she said, her tone slightly sulky. They both walked in silence for a few moments before Asher sighed.


    "He teased me at camp."


    "About what?"


    "About you."


    "What about me?"


    "Just that we kiss and stuff," Asher said awkwardly, his face a deep crimson now. "That''s all."


    "Oh." Lila couldn''t imagine why Isaac would tease Asher over that, but in the absence of an answer, she shrugged. ''Must be a guy thing,'' she thought, her mind flashing back to how the soccer boys would act during practice and games when she and Asher would kiss.


    "Anyway," Asher smoothly carried on, "it''s all the truth. I mean, I''ve already told you all that."


    "I wasn''t worried that you were lying. It… it''s hard to explain, but it really made me happy. Like, I know you felt that way but it feels more real somehow, now that you''ve acknowledged it to other people."


    He looked perplexed before chuckling. "I think I get what you''re saying. I wouldn''t mind if you did the same thing, too."


    Lila blushed, her heart racing. She''d told Elise and Grace that she loved him – was now the moment? Should she say ''I do, since I''ve told my friends that I love you''? Was that too abrupt? Would it even make sense? Was it the right moment?


    Her hands were tingling, her mind racing. Now? Could she do it now? She felt like it''d be safe to say it since he''d said all that to Grace and Isaac today. At least, she felt like he wouldn''t laugh at her again if she confessed to him about how hard she''d fallen. That every waking moment involved thinking about him in some capacity; about whether he''d laugh at a joke she''d thought up, about whether he''d smile first that day or would she, about the feeling of his skin against hers-


    Suddenly, reality was reintroduced to her in the form of Asher''s arms around her waist, their bags slipping off his shoulders and her face dangerously close to the ground.


    "Whoa," he said, abandoning their bags and righting her up. He gave her a once over, tucking some stray strands of hair behind her ear and adjusting her hat. "What were you thinking about? You completely spaced out all of a sudden."


    With how embarrassed she felt, telling him that she loved him was completely out of the picture. "I, uh, started thinking about my Japanese writing exam."


    The doubt was evident in the way he raised his eyebrow and she looked down at her dress, dusting it off.


    "The kanji," she added lamely. "It''s messing me up."


    "I thought your exam was after the long weekend."


    "It is, but it''s getting difficult."


    He still looked doubtful, but he reset her blazer without another word on the topic. He picked up their bags and tenderly took her hand in his. Eventually, they started to talk about something lighthearted though Lila was hardly paying attention. Her thoughts were instead gripped by both the horrendously embarrassing fall she just had and the fact that she''d almost given in and told him, despite all of her good reasons not to.


    ''I''m so weak,'' she thought as Asher opened the door to George''s taxi for Lila before loading their bags into the boot.


    "Hello again, Lila," George greeted pleasantly whilst she buckled herself in.


    "Hello, George."


    With that, nothing else was said to Lila and George instead devoted his conversation to Asher. She wondered, with a wry smile, whether making conversation with the other passengers cost an additional fee that Ivaan wasn''t paying.


    Once they arrived at Lila''s, Asher jumped out and grabbed her bags. She said goodbye to George, who simply nodded in acknowledgement. Asher walked her to her door and she opened it, taking her bags and placing them in the entryway before turning to Asher with a smile.


    "So, since I didn''t have to run to catch the bus… do I get a good goodbye kiss?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. He smiled at her, his hands trailing down her waist, stopping just short of her hips.


    "Of course," he murmured, leaning down and giving her exactly what she wanted. Her stomach swooped, a feeling which intensified as his hands firmly flexed around her body. He deepened the kiss and her fingers grasped his hair as she pushed them closer together, the sensation leaving her breathless.


    "Oh, Jesus, ew," a disapproving voice said behind them. "God, on our lawn?"


    They broke apart, seeing Daniel''s disturbed expression before they both started laughing.


    "It''s not funny," he insisted, stepping past them. "I hope you''ll pay the taxi driver extra for the privilege of watching whatever that face-sucking was."


    "Yeah, yeah, I''ll be sure to tip him," Asher replied with another laugh. "See you-" he halted before smiling sadly. "See you on Monday, Lila. I almost forgot that the game tomorrow is at an all-boys'' school for me."


    Lila deflated. "Same here. See you on Monday."


    He started to turn to leave when Lila clutched his arm. There was one thing that could improve the suddenly dour mood. He turned his head to look at her and she grinned at him.


    "You know, this time next week, we''ll be hanging out at yours."


    He laughed once more. "Eager, are you?"


    "Of course. I miss you like crazy."


    "Okay, can you two get a room? Preferably not in this house," Daniel cut in, swinging open the front door.


    "Will do next week," Lila replied in a sing-song tone.


    "Good," Daniel said shortly. "You coming in or am I locking you out?"


    Lila looked at Asher, whose eyes were sparkling with apparent amusement. "See you on Monday," she repeated.


    "Can''t wait," he responded, squeezing her hand before stepping backwards. He then stayed put, gesturing for Lila to head inside. She did so with one final wave before closing the door.


    To her surprise, Daniel was waiting for her in the hallway, smirking.


    "Glad to see you two are doing well," he said before making his way to the kitchen. "What''s this about hanging out with Asher next Friday?"


    Lila picked up her bags and followed him into the kitchen. "I''m staying over at his from Thursday night ''til Sunday."


    Daniel wrinkled his nose, begrudgingly pouring her some juice. "Forget I asked."


    She rolled her eyes at him though accepted the juice all the same. "You''re so dramatic."


    "For good reason," he frowned, capping the carton and replacing it in the fridge. "Just don''t turn me into an Uncle, alright?"


    She rolled her eyes again. "Nothing remotely like that''s going to happen, so your wish is my command."


    He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. "You''re so dumb."


    "Excuse me?"


    "Who asks their girlfriend to stay over for three nights for ''nothing like that'' to happen?"


    She bristled, almost spilling her juice. "Not that it''s any of your business, but he''s waiting until he''s comfortable."


    Daniel''s nose wrinkled so much that Lila thought it''d sink into his face. "Makes it sound like it''s not your choice." Then, he threw his hands up in the air. "Nope, not thinking about it anymore. Leave my sight before I throw up."


    She did just that, her mind lingering on what Daniel had said. Given what she knew about Asher, it was a ridiculous notion. He was nowhere near ready.