Chapter 262


    Here, a little distance away from the pce, there was a suffocating atmosphere .


    Walking up the stairs, we were greeted by the sight of a room surrounded by a metal cage .


    “This is the ce, Iris . ”


    There was a woman standing where Lady Letticia pointed .


    I inhaled sharply at the sight of her .


    Of course she still looked like herself, but in another way she waspletely different .


    Skinny, dry-haired, dull skin, and eyes red from crying that just stared upwards .


    “It’s been a long time, Lady Yuri . ”


    Considering I couldn’t show my shock through my voice, I purposefully spoke to her in a calm tone .


    “It’s been a while, Lady Iris . ”


    She chuckled, looking at me .


    “Why did you summon me?”


    “Nothing . I just wanted to see you before I died . ”


    Her cold gaze and smile was something I’d never seen before, but it didn’t seem out of the ordinary on her face .


    Finally she was showing her true colors .


    “Are you satisfied then?”


    I smiled sarcastically too .


    “Who knows...it’s a little less interesting than I thought it would be . ”


    “Ah, this really is...”


    Why the hell did you call me here then? I didn’t ask the question on my mind .


    “Then can you let me ask you a few questions?”


    She didn’t confirm or deny, so I took that as eptance .


    “Did you ever love Prince Edward?”


    “What’s the use in knowing that?”


    “Just curiosity . ”


    The moment I said that, she smiled .


    Her face was full of contempt for me as she opened her mouth wide .


    She looked almost scary, sending chills down my spine .


    “What are you saying? You don’t want to admit someone you’ve loved was stolen by a woman who just wanted to use him?”


    Well, look who suddenly became a lot more talkative .


    “You already know the answer to that . I worked on behalf of the Towair Kingdom to engulf this country in chaos, attacking the highest nobility in this nation . ”


    “Yes, that has be clear now . ”


    “How does that make you feel? He died to protect me, saying he died for the person he loved . He loved me . How does it feel to force him into engagement without really earning his love? You must be resentful . Hate me now...”


    Her words were sharp .


    But it felt like she wasn’t hurting me with her words . She was hurting herself .


    “Tell me you’re resentful...tell me you hate me!”


    She grabbed onto the bars of the cage .


    We were close enough to touch each other .


    “It’s like you’re saying you love him . ”


    She raised her head suddenly in response .


    “Ha? What the hell are you talking about?”


    Her condescending attitude made meugh .


    “Am I wrong? What you said was basically a confession of love . That’s what it sounded like to me . ”


    She didn’t respond to what I said .


    I assumed she would respond with more verbal attacks to deny this, no matter what the truth was .


    I stared at her . And then tears began to flow from her eyes .


    She really did love him .


    Any words were less convincing than her current state .


    “W-what are you saying, I don’t understand . ”


    She lowered her head .


    Although I had been staring at her for a while, she didn’t seem inclined to budge at all .


    “I’ve never been resentful . Our engagement was something from the past . Our paths diverged then . No matter what happened to him from then on was not something I needed to know . ”


    When I said that she raised her head to re at me .


    “Plus, Prince Edward selected you, the one whom he loved the most . No matter what you think about it, he protected the person he loved . He died happy . Out of mourning, it’s impossible to hate someone on behalf of not loving him . ”


    “Your expression of understanding is obnoxious . ”


    I cracked half a smile at her bitter words .


    “Even if you find it obnoxious...”


    “Ever since you were born, you’ve had everything! Money, status, people surrounding you . I hate you!”


    Screaming, she shook the cages so hard they groaned like they were crying .


    “And so you attack me?”


    “Hmph...it felt really good . ”


    She smiled happily . It was a dark smile .


    “Is that so . ”


    Thinking about the fact that this rationale was enough for her to pick on me like that, I felt the heat of anger rise in my chest .


    Frustrations differed by person and look sopletely unusual to anyone on the outside .


    Even knowing that, I couldn’t forgivepletely as the victim of the situation .


    “How are you different from me? I’m also beautiful, I’m also capable of gathering the hearts of others! To prove that, Prince Edward chose me! So why am I here now...”


    Her screeching broke thest thread maintaining my rationality .


    I raised my hand like I was going to p her in the face .


    But even so, the cage between us made it impossible to reach her .


    In contrast, my hand struck the cage and ached immensely .


    The cage rattled, as if crying out on my behalf .


    What the hell was she doing...I’m sure everyone around me wore that expression . Even Yuri looked dumbfounded . My heart hurt more than my hand .


    “If I were the one toment on it, I’d have to say I’mpletely different from you . ”


    “What? Your position in society? Or your luck?”


    “Who the hell is going to talk about something like that? You only kept people around you to use them . I trust the people in my life . ”


    “What’s the difference!”


    Without hesitation I burst outughing .


    It seems like this only aggravated her suffering . Her re at me became even sharper .


    “Do you understand what I’m talking about? When you use someone, you abandon them easily whenever they’re causing you inconvenience . People who still approach you under those circumstances aren’t interested in cing their trust in you . They want to use you too . ”


    Somehow those words shut her up .


    Seems like I was right on .


    “Trust means believing in them and relying on them . You should only rely on people if you trust them . Trustworthy people are not receable in my life . If something happens, I’ll risk everything to protect them! So don’t you darepare us . ”


    Because I was crying out in rage, my breathing became uneven .


    When I took a deep breath to calm myself, she spoke quietly .


    “Why...”


    Her voice was so quiet I didn’t hear it over the sound of my own breathing .


    “Why can you trust? After everything’s happened to you, you shouldn’t be able to trust anyone anymore . ”


    “Do you mean the engagement? Or the merchants’ guild? Or...”


    “Everything . But if I had to pick one, the engagement . The feeling of being thoroughly rejected by someone you love, and even your family turning against you . ”


    Her question was one I’d asked myself countless times . But somehow the question was almost humorousing from her .


    “Yes . I did be afraid to trust . But mypanions from the past have responded to me by saying it’s okay, that they’ll stay with me no matter what . It’s brought me out of my fearfulness . ”


    I had been afraid of trusting and then being betrayed again .


    My heart had been wounded so deeply .


    Because I was afraid of others seeing my weakness, I pretended to be fine .


    The people who tore that facade down was everyone I’d trusted since childhood and Dean .


    “I still fear people now, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to trust . If I were paralyzed by the fear of trusting others, I’d be forgetting everything I went through with the important people in my life, when a little courage was enough to give me so much . ”


    I gazed at Tanya while I said this . She smiled proudly in response .


    “But you might be betrayed again...?”


    “Yes . It might happen . But living in fear of that means not moving forward . If you’re looking past beautiful things for the sake of fear, you’re only missing out . Plus, this world is not so gentle that people can live without getting hurt . The only thing you can do when you’re hurt is to keep living, keep surviving . ”


    “...Yes . ”


    Sheughed out loud as she said that .


    It was almost like a demon leaving her body .


    “In the end, I really do hate you after all . ”


    I couldn’t help butugh too .


    “I don’t like you either . ”


    “That’s right . If you ever said you didn’t dislike me that would frankly be disgusting to me . ”


    “You’re right . ”


    We both smiled .


    “Hey...Iris, what does it mean to love someone?”


    “Who knows . It’s something you can’t exin . But if you feel like that person’s more special than anyone else...no matter what form that affection takes, I think that’s love . ”


    “Special...indeed . ”


    Her face, looking like it was about to burst into tears, twisting into a smile instead .


    “I’m an idiot . When I lost him, that’s when I realized he was something special to me . ”


    “You’re right . You are an idiot . ”


    I was still smiling . But thanks to her, I almost wanted to cry too .


    “There were so many opportunities for me tomunicate that to him . But now it’s toote . I am, we really are idiots . ”


    When I said this, her eyes went wide .


    “I’m not talking about Prince Edward . Of course, I mourn his death too . ”


    “What are you mourning?”


    Her voice trembled when she asked .


    “For Prince Edward?”


    She nodded quietly .


    “Even if it’s someone you hated from the bottom of your heart, you can’t keep hating them after they die . Instead of bottling up your hatred, you might as well remember your good memories together . It’s better for the people who survive . That’s what my subordinate told me . Although I hated him from the bottom of my heart when he was alive, we had good memories too . Right now that means I can only pray for him . ”


    Her tears spilled forth .


    “I thought no one else in this world would still grieve him, after Queen Ellia and Marquis Maelia passed . And I...”


    “I will mourn him . Also, there might still be more people out there that you don’t know of who are mourning him . Humans areplex . We aren’t just single-sided . ”


    “Is that so...that’s great . I hope his name isn’t just something to mock . ”


    Watching her cry as she said this, I almost felt my tears flowing out too .


    That’s how she loved him in the end .


    She feared his name being associated with evil .


    Instead of thinking about herself, she cared more for his reputation . If that wasn’t love, what was it?


    “Iris, you should go home . Your majesty, I’ll tell you everything . ”


    When she finally managed to stop her tears, her expression was determined .


    “I see . It was good to see you, Lady Yuri . ”


    I had nothing more to say now .


    “Good to see you, Lady Iris . ”


    She smiled gently . It was a smile from her past .


    And with that I left .