badgegirl is back


    she brought tea for me


    and she didn''t talk at all


    not even one word


    now she is sitting outside


    without looking at me


    badgegirl is


    well anyway


    tea time


    oh wow condensed milk and everything


    well lah dee dah


    look at the queen of the castle here


    sipping her sweet milky tea


    no badgegirl no do not ruin this moment by talking


    too late. she talked. waited until teatime. my most receptive mood. so cunning. i must respect.


    not sure what to do now though


    i can actually talk


    i mean you have to be able to use voice if you want to sing along with songs


    or mutter to yourself while fiddling with teleportsIf you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    muttering v important part of superscience process


    everyone knows that


    but


    well


    maybe i will just write out some stuff


    that seems


    safe


    so


    here i go i guess


    to: badgegirl


    it is difficult to say this


    and please note that i still do not want you to talk to me or look at me and especially not touch me


    but


    your tea creation skills are appreciated


    and i like your badges


    and your silence


    but when you do talk


    your voice does not make me want to scream except i can''t scream i can''t do anything


    which is what happens when most humans talk to me


    your voice just makes me feel like rats are inside me and trying to eat their way out


    trust me that is better than usual


    so take the compliment


    also


    i apologise for rendering you and every human in this bunker temporarily unconscious


    it''s not personal


    well except for that one human who shot me


    it''s a little bit personal for them


    anyway i have more to say


    but first


    to: notbadgegirl humans


    you leave a lot of chemicals just lying around your bunker


    might want to look at that


    also when you take someone prisoner


    make sure that one of their eyes is not an eyespider


    also do not give the prisoner their minicomputer back


    with a v obvious keylogger on it


    at least try to hide that nonsense


    oh and also do not read their journal without permission


    and if you do read their journal do not believe everything that is written there


    especially do not believe your prisoner when they say things like how letting them walk their eyespider around might make them better and more communicative and etc


    this is great advice i am giving you so please appreciate


    the next person you capture might be more


    y''know


    murderish


    oh yes also do not believe a superscience genius girl when she says that she did not give her eyespider hands


    of course i flipping well gave my eyespider hands


    what do you think i am


    stupid or something


    anyway


    enough of you


    to: badgegirl again


    you will probably have a headache when you wake up


    i have left a headache cure near you


    nobody else gets the cure


    so you can feel special about that


    thank you for the tea


    i am going to steal half your condensed milk before i leave


    just fyi


    okay


    bye