Chapter 1


    Oh, shit. I’mte!


    As soon as I got home, I rushed into the room and turned on the radio. When I adjusted the frequency, for a while, I heard the buzzing noise, and shortly after, a sound with a loudugh came out. Listening to the sound, I sat down in a chair and took off my coat.


    – Oh, Mr Seon-jae also joined thepany with In-hyuk. When was the most challenging moment for you as a trainee?


    I turned up the volume of the radio without taking off my socks. It was time for Seon-jae’s voice toe out.


    – Ah…… I…um.


    In the wavering voice, which doesn’t seem to remember well, Baek In-hyuk’s voice interceded.


    – You remember about the Gamgam bridge.


    – Oh, right! I lost my wallet that day. I finished practice early in the morning, but when I opened my bag, my wallet was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t have any money on hand, and I couldn’t call home because it was toote at night. So I had to walk. It took me near two hours walking from work to home. It took a while. All the bad things came at once. I couldn’t listen to music because my cell phone ran out of battery. It was winter at that time, but unfortunately, I put on slippers that day, and my toes froze.


    I burst intoughter when I heard that his toes were frozen.


    – As I passed the Gamgam Bridge, the lights of the buildings reflected in the Han River looked sad.


    – Seon-jae probably cried that day.


    – No, I didn’t cry.


    – Then did you cry in your heart?


    Baek In-hyuk and the other membersughed at the yful Seo Yoon-jae’s question. Everyone wasughing, but I was a little depressed.


    This is because I couldn’t hear Seon-jae’sughter. It was a pity that I could not see Seon-jae’s face because it was not a visible radio, but on the other hand, I felt fortunate that I could not check his sad face.


    It has already been two years since Seon-jae joined the Potato Pancakes. However, fans still hated Seon-jae. They leftments on various sites and dug up a Twitter ount to hunt Seon-jae.


    Seon-jae couldn’t help but notice that fans weren’t delighted with him entering the group and that they even curse himself for it. Some fans shouted aloud in public broadcasts and fan signing events and,


    Offensive words such as <i>‘Ryu Seon-jae, get out!’ ‘Ryu Seon-jae, get out!’</i> could be heard.


    Seon-jae’s face, which had been working hard with a big smile, looked exhausted recently. The deputy ounts, who im themselves ‘<i>Potato Combat Machines,</i>’ wrote spective articles about Seon-jae’s expression these days and that they might leave him out of the next album.


    <b>[I love you, Seon-jae. Beautiful you.]</b>


    I left ament on the Potato Pancakes Instagram, where Seon-jae’s photo was posted.


    Of course, it was my second ount. A private ount that has no followers and only following Potato Pancakes Instagram.


    I <i>‘liked’</i> the picture of Seon-jae. With the feeling that I want you to know that there are so many people who like you out here.


    ***


    At dawn, I opened my eyes with a frown on the vibrations that rang continuously. I felt my hand and picked up my cell phone and checked the cause of the vibration. It was Hyun-joo’s message.


    <b>[Shocked.]</b>


    <b>[Awesome.]</b>


    <b>[For real?]</b>


    <b>[Really?]</b>


    <b>[Is it true?]</b>


    <b>[Wow. What’s going on?]</b>


    Even if I didn’t know what was going on, I was anxious. I hastily closed the message window and opened the Inte window.


    <b>


    Ryu Seon-jae, a member of the Idol group, ‘Potato Pancakes’, is dead!</b>


    <i>Ryu Seon-jae, a member of the Idol group ‘Potato Pancakes’, died of severe drug addiction in the early morning of the 30th.</i>


    <i>Earlier, a media outlet reported that Ryu Seon-jae was found copsed down at a hotel in Jung-gu, Seoul, at around 6:30 a.m. on the 30th. He was taken to a hospital but was confirmed dead.</i>


    <b>


    Ryu Seon-jae’s agency dered that rumors about Ryu Seon-jae, who died because of an overdose of drugs, are ‘Groundless rumors’.</b>


    <i>Actually, he was suffering from insomnia and had been prescribed sleeping pills for a long time. However, the agency said it was ‘groundless’ about a spective article that estimated his cause of death as a drug overdose.</i>


    <i>On the night of the 28th, in Baek In-hyuk’s V Live, a member of his team, said, ‘Seon-jae is sick from a cold these days,’ raising spection that he died of shock by taking sleeping pills and other drugs together.</i>


    My heart was pounding, and my hands were shaking. I sat up on my bed and searched for three letters <i>‘Ryu Seon-jae’</i> on a portal site. My heart was beating like it was going to burst, and tears sprang up. Unbelievable articles with the title breaking news were pouring out.


    Tears fell over the screen, and my vision dimmed. Without even thinking about wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I pressed the dislike button andmented on maliciousments. Jerks! What kind of trouble did my Seon-jae have? What did Seon-jae do wrong?


    Feeling my world had copsed, I wrote a lot of abusivements to the unpleasant articles that mentioned Seon-jae. Eventually, Twitter’s deputy ounts blocked me and kicked me out of the fan cafe.


    Why are you blocking me?


    A man is dead.


    How can you do this?


    I looked at Seon-jae’s poster on the wall, thinking my world was turning upside down. The tears continued to flow endlessly, so I wondered how much pumping was done in the tear nds.


    “No way.”


    While looking at the picture of Seon-jae closing his eyes in a reed forest, I leaned my upper body on my bed remembering him and cried out loud.


    <span> Only


    ***


    Due to the agency’s official announcement, Seon-jae’s cause of death was revealed. It was a shock caused by taking cold medicine and sleeping pills at the same time. More than the agency’s announcement, the article written by the reporter was more detailed. It was like he was writing a novel. He described it in detail as if he had watched Seon-jae’sst night before he died.


    <i>Ryu Seon-jae, who had suffered from a sudden loss of energy because of cold and flu, had dinner and went out to his hotel room. As soon as he entered the room, he took a shower. Because he disliked the texture of his shower gown, he wore arge hoodie and shorts, put a cold medicine in his mouth that he bought at a pharmacy, and drank a bottle of potion. Then he poured five sleeping pills into his mouth, which were prescribed to fall asleep immediately. This was thest appearance of 23-year-old Ryu Seon-jae.</i>


    The article’sments were filled with criticisms such as ’Did you see it, reporter?’. Somemented sarcastically and ridiculously, saying, ‘He didn’t like hotel gowns’. Seon-jae’s fans knew that Seon-jae didn’t like to wear the hotel shower gown. This was because he often mentioned through V Live that his skin was sensitive and his hives were getting higher.


    – This station is City Hall, City Hall station. The exit door is on the left. For customers who want to go to Cheonan or Soyosan in Incheon, please transfer to Line 1 at this station.


    I covered my face with a scarf and bowed my head. My shoulders were shaking because I kept crying. Thinking that I had read an article about Seon-jae in the subway, I put my cell phone in my pocket.


    I closed my eyes tight, which were swollen as a result of crying all night long. Tears dripped down and soaked my scarf.