<h4>Chapter 13</h4>


    Na AhJung stepped out of the book store with a depressed look and opened the newly bought book while sitting on a bench.


    “What are you doing? Why are you sitting here like this?” I asked.


    “I bought this book fair and square so I am going to confidently read it. Reading really is my hobby,” she said in a glum voice.


    “If you’re going to, then you should be reading it with your head held high, how is this posture that of a confident person? You look like a deted balloon.”


    This girl sitting here with no life was poking at my conscience. At my criticism, Na AhJung straightened up her back and widened her shoulders, but her expression still held the shadow of defeat.


    “Can you lighten up?” I asked.


    “It’s ‘cuz the book is sad,” she replied.


    “How in the world could a cookbook be sad?”


    “...to be this chicken soup, this chicken had to sacrifice itself. A chicken had to die to make this chicken soup...” Na AhJung read aloud.


    She stared at the book’s contents with glistening, tear stained eyes as if she was reading some sappy novel. I followed Na AhJung’s gaze and spotted the picture of the chicken soup and was so taken aback by the ridiculousness of the situation that I scoffed.


    This looks sad? She’s pulling my leg. Why can’t she just tell me she’s sad because I scolded her? How is this the face of someone who is sad because a chicken died? This is the face of someone deted because they got in trouble.


    I couldn’t stand it any longer so I grabbed her arm and raised her up.


    “What, why?” she protested.


    “If you’re going to read the book, stop brooding and go to a café or somewhere.”


    “Café? Cafés costs money. If I spend money on coffee just to read a book you’re going to say I’m wasteful anyways.”


    “It’s because I want to go, me!” I insisted.


    I believed the only way to make that expression go away was to feed her something tasty, so I dragged Na AhJung to a nearby coffee house.


    ***


    Na AhJung


    I was afraid that Lee JiHan would follow me throughout my entire day off just to bother me. As always, whatever I did, it was obvious that he would find something to reprimand me on. If that was going to be the case, I decided it would be better to just do nothing to lessen the risk. So, I sat on the bench with a book just waiting for time to pass. Lee JiHan wouldn’t even let me have that, and instead dragged me to a café for some unknown reason. I sat at the table while he went to order desserts and drinks of his own choosing.


    Lee JiHan returned to the table with a tray full of sweets. On the tray was a just baked apple pie with ice cream on top and two drinks. Between the two drinks, I grabbed the strawberry shake that was topped with arge amount of whipped cream.


    “The apple pie here is famous. Eat it while it’s hot,” Lee JiHan said.


    Is it so hot I will burn my tongue? He wouldn’t be doing this just so I would burn my tongue, would he? Suspiciously, I took a small spoonful of the ice cream and apple pie. After an excess amount of blowing to cool it down, I carefully put it in my mouth.


    “Oh! It’s so good!” IIn response to my sudden outburst, Lee JiHan crossed his arms.


    “Of course. Who’s the one who rmended it.” Lee JiHan sucked on his straw with a look of content.


    “For real! This pie beats today’s french toast!


    I pped jovially whileplimenting Lee JiHan’s menu rmendation, but at that moment, the strawberry shake in Lee JiHan’s hand slipped.


    “You, are youparing my french toast with this apple pie?”


    “Huh?”


    Lee JiHan’s facial expression changed scarily fast. “It hasn’t even been that long since you ate my french toast. Aren’t you sorry to the french toast that is probably still sitting in your stomach?”


    “Ah, no. I...I mean this taste is asparable to...”


    “Comparable to? Comparable? Are you saying my french toast is merely at this level?”


    He’s the one that rmended this apple pie because it was supposedly famous. Lee JiHan was acting as if he never mentioned such a thing. How could he say this amazingly delicious apple pie is merely anything? How amazing does he think his french toast is? I wanted to ask him, but was afraid of his wrath and shook my head.


    “Wow, and here I thought you wereplimenting my skills when in actuality you wouldpliment anything that is shoved into your mouth.” Lee JiHan mumbled to himself in shock.


    “No, it’s nothing like that. For me, this isn’t like extremely delicious or anything. But you rmended it, so I was reacting this way as a courtesy. A courtesy!”


    “So you decided to maintain courtesy by saying this beat my french toast?


    “I made a mistake,” I mumbled. “I wasn’t thinking...”


    Me and my big mouth. Damn, why did I have to go and say that. I pped at my mouth in regret, but at that point it was toote. Lee JiHan stomped away. He exited straight out of the café and I was forced to run after him


    ***


    This day off felt more like parole than a vacation. I had been forced to follow around Lee JiHan, gaining nothing but one measly apple pie that supposedly was no threat to the french toast I ate this morning.


    “You see, I’ve never tasted your version of an apple pie. If I had tasted it, I would have had no feeling whatsoever about that ce’s apple pie!”


    His anger seemed to subside a little, but Lee JiHan raised his hand and stopped me.


    “Forget it. Let’s stop talking about the stupid apple pie. People will think I’m being jealous over it or something. I don’t need it so you can do whatever you want.”


    Finally, I felt relieved and I released the stress from my body. It wasn’t an exaggeration but my body and mind were both burnt out. I didn’t want to do anything and it didn’t matter where, I just wanted to lie down and do nothing in peace. If I had the choice, it would also be a ce where Lee JiHan’s criticism didn’t exist and I wouldn’t have to watch what I say or do. Where would I have to go to find that kind of resting ce? Right now, my every move was being observed, and my every word was being judged. Unless I was able to cover Lee JiHan’s eyes and close his mouth, there wasn’t a single ce that would allow me to enjoy the rest of my day in peace. This depressing thought made me shake my head in despair. Then, I saw it in front of me arge movie theatre. Seeing that gave me a great idea.


    ***


    Inside the dark theatre, I sat down holding my popcorn and soda. I was able to extend my legs out, and I sighed euphorically. Even though Lee JiHan was sitting next to me, I was able to ept the situation without much anxiety. In this dark space, I wasn’t afraid of Lee JiHan’s eyes, and in a ce where we had to remain quiet, I needn’t be scared of Lee JiHan’s mouth. Now when the movie starts, he won’t be able to do anything to make me ufortable.


    Proud of myself for thinking up something like this, I looked up at the screen in confidence. Themercials ended and the movie began. I had chosen the movie based solely on how fast it started, without even considering the plot or the title. I wondered what kind of movie it would be and threw a piece of popcorn in my mouth.


    The movie was... the story of a girl who lived with her husband’s younger brother while the husband was away on a business trip.


    I got a weird feeling about it, but the brother was a 19 year old high-schooler in a uniform, so I shook it off.


    The husband’s parents passed away unexpectedly, and the bride and her husband were put into a situation where they had to raise the younger brother as their own. I assumed this would be a feel good family film teaching the importance of family. It was such a drastic parallel to the brother sitting next to me that I felt for the young, uniform d brother in the movie. I soon realized this was not the feel good family movie I had anticipated and instead, was a passion filled erotic movie!


    The younger brother was not only wearing no uniform, but he was not wearing anything at all! He approached his older brother’s wife and embraced her.


    [Young master, don’t do this.]


    Yea, don’t do that! Please don’t do that! Your sister-inw says to stop!


    I frowned and red at the screen. The man in the screen held the woman’s two wrists together and asked in desperation,


    [If I had met you first...not my brother, but me. If I had met you first...would you still push me away?]


    Say you will! Tell him he’s the worst! Tell him to shut up and get out of your face!


    I waited for the wife’s answer. I gulped at my drink to quench the sudden dryness of my throat. I held the c in my mouth instead of swallowing it. Contrary to my wish, the wife shed a single tear and held her head.


    [Then let’s do what both our hearts desire. Only my brother need not know.]


    The wife nodded at the brother’s plea. Then the brother embraced her tightly again and whispered in her ear.


    [I wish time would stop.]


    Damn, I wish you would stop!


    At that moment, my future brother-inw whispered in my ear, “What’s the reason you asked me to watch this movie with you?”


    It was a sentence said through clenched teeth. I wanted to exin that I did not know the story of the movie but I had too much c in my mouth to speak. In that moment, the man and woman on the screen started kissing passionately on top of the table. I was so surprised by that scene that I turned my head and without meaning to, spit out the c.


    “Puah!” Unfortunately at Lee JiHan...”Ah, I’m sorry!” I cried.


    “This woman...!” Lee JiHan brushed off his shirt and said in an angry voice.


    I wasn’t able to see properly, but I assumed that he was wet so I took the napkins I brought along from the store and reached for his chest to wipe it clean.


    “What, what are you doing right now?” Lee JiHan grabbed my wrist and with a shocked expression looked to and fro from the screen to me.


    I too was able to see the screen and see what was happening. The wife was wiping at the chest of the brother with her hands.


    “Ah, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s just, I was just wiping it off. I...I don’t have that kind of intention!”


    I wanted to prove my innocence so I pushed the napkin at Lee JiHan’s chest. But my fingertips brushed up against something hard on his chest.


    “Where are you touching?!” Lee JiHan stood up in anger. The men in the back started to yell.


    “Ah! Why are you blocking it!


    “Move your head! Head!


    “Get out of the way!”


    As if Lee JiHan’s head had blocked some pivotal or important scene, the men’s voices escted in greater annoyance.


    “You wait until I get back from the bathroom.” Lee JiHan crouched down as to not disturb the other audience members and quickly shuffled out of his seat.


    Alone, this scenario made me just want to give up and die. Oblivious to my plight, the two lovers in the movie were entranced in ecstasy as if they couldn’t live without the other. Damn, why is there no remote control in a movie theatre. Unable to press the pause button, I closed my eyes to turn off my screen.


    Then, “ah, ah, creak creak.”


    Even without seeing it, the embarrassing sounds echoed around the room.


    Are these two doing that on the table? Why is it creaking! You people! Aren’t you afraid of thew?! I put down the popcorn and soda and covered my ears with both hands. With my eyes and ears closed, I rejected this nightmare by reciting the Lord’s Prayer. During this time I didn’t have the mental strength left to check whether Lee JiHan had returned or not. When the movie ended and the lights came back on, I was shocked to see that Lee JiHan still had not returned. The seat next to me was empty.


    ***


    My mind was halfway gone as I exited the theatre, but I was faced with a dilemma. Should I look for Lee JiHan right away or try to enjoy the rest of my vacation without his presence? Of course, it didn’t take long to make my decision. Even if a knife was held to my neck, I would have chosen thetter. Even so, my decision would hold severe consequences so I nced around in trepidation. Lee JiHan wouldn’t be near here would he? He might be waiting in front of the theatre, so I won’t go out that way. I’ll just watch another movie in here! I covered my face with my bag and very carefully headed toward the ticket line. Since I wouldn’t be watching it with Lee JiHan, I could rewatch the movie I had been too ufortable to watch before.


    ***


    Lee JiHan


    I sshed cold water on my face in the theatre bathroom but my face would not cool down. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw that even my ears were red. I ran out of the theatre, not wanting Na AhJung to see me like this. On the way home, the taxi sted the air conditioning so high it was freezing, but my face would not cool down.


    Disgraceful, how could she show me that kind of movie! How dare that hand touch my... In the midst of fuming, I clenched my teeth. It was so disgraceful, I could barely even think the words. That, that girl touched my nipple! A woman other than my mother dare touch there! No, my mother doesn’t even! I quickly shed through my adolescent memories and was confident of my innocence in this area. No, I was sure of it. This part of my body which is as pure as a snow capped mountain is now tainted with that woman’s imprint! In an attempt to erase her touch, I wiped away at the ce that Na AhJung’s hand had touched. Howe I’m touching the same ce but the feeling is different? It wasn’t the electric feeling I had experienced previously, so I stopped. No, not feeling aroused by my own touch is not something strange. But that girl’s touch made me feel something. That’s weird! I didn’t want to admit that electrifying moment, but even as the thought entered my mind, the taxi arrived in front of my brother’s house.


    I paid the taxi fare and walked to the door. sitting in front of the door was a big box which had arrived before me.


    Is it a package? Wondering to myself, I looked down at the box. Instead of the name and address of the shipper, there was a note attached to it.


    [The person that should remember our happy moments is you.]


    What is this? I opened the package suspiciously. The box was as big as my body and in it was a photo album, a stack of letters, a stuffed doll, etc. I chose to look at the stack of letters more carefully. I opened one of them. The familiar penmanship caught my attention. This is my brother’s handwriting... Notpletely sure, I read the contents of the letter. After reading it, I realized it was a hand-written love letter. I was also able to see with my own two eyes the recipient of the letter.


    Lim DaeChul?


    He has the same name as that guy we met yesterday. I suddenly got a sick feeling. It must just be a woman with the same name.


    I tried to wash off this negative feeling and took out the photo album.


    When I open the photo album, a girl named Lim DaeChul will be in here. It will be a girl that has nothing to do with that scum bag I met yesterday, she will be in here.


    I believed it to be true and prayed that I would not be disappointed. Then I opened the album. I checked the subjects of the picture, and it was like being struck by lightning, I screamed and cursed.


    “F*ck!”